I'm inspired by Tommy Trudeau's recent post, and given the ton of responses he got, it's clear we've all had a turning point in our lives/careers where we chose to follow a path less traveled. I grew up deep inside Hollywood. My mother was a censor during the thirties at the Hayes office, and after serving David O Selznick as First AD on all his films, including Gone With The Wind, my dad became head of the Production Office at Warners. Needless to say, I was a spoiled little shit who felt he was entitled to nothing but the best and never had a problem finding work... as in "I had serious juice!" All that ended one day in May of 1969. I was working in Madrid, Spain, at the Segovia studios where we were filming interiors on PATTON. As the English speaking Second AD, I was in charge of the English speaking cast, some 48 of the best and brightest actors in the English speaking world at that time. The moment I stepped onto the stage that day, another of the ADs hurried to me and told me that the UPM, Chico Day, wanted to see me "right away." It was very odd and I thought I must have really screwed up somehow, but when I walked into Chico's office, I learned it wasn't me that had screwed up. It was a 20th Century Fox driver who had tried to beat a train across a crossing in the desert in Lancaster, CA where my dad was working on a little film that was never released, "Run Shadow Run," directed by Noel Black. Long story short, my dad had been in the car and had been killed. The news was traumatic to say the least and I spent a year living in a tent in Big Sur grieving and adjusting. Suddenly I'd become a man without a patron, a man who would have to find work, just like everybody else, entirely on his own. Luckily, I had made some friends along the way who had gone to UCLA Film School in the same class with Francis Ford Coppola and Jim Morrison. Mike recommended me as a Line Producer for a film starting shooting at the AFI when it was only a year or two out of the cradle at the Greystone Mansion in Beverly Hills. Frank Dandridge, an award winning Life Magazine photo journalist was the first black fellow at AFI and I wound up co-producing and editing his film, "A Berkeley Christmas." The next year I become a staff writer, producer, director at the UCLA Media Center where I made a number of short films for the National Institute of Mental Health and the National Endowment for the Humanities. Having those illustrious credits, I decided to start my own production company and start making features. Don't forget, these were the days when film was edited on a KEM, if you were lucky. "Hassle" was the name of our first feature. A story about a good hearted cop and a hooker trying to escape a psychopathic pimp, to be played by Anthony Sirico ("The Sopranos"). I was madly in love with an actress named Andra Akers, who was to play the part of the hooker, "IRIS," and via Lois Lee, a working girls' advocate, I'd connected with a fellow named Morty who wanted to live the dream of becoming a Hollywood producer. Morty had a friend, Paul Castellano, who happened to be the then-head of the Gambino crime family. Paul thought "Hassle" was a great story. The problem was that Castellano didn't trust people and had our phones tapped. Andra freaked out when she learned who was financing the film. She gave me an ultimatum forcing me to chose between her or the mob. It was only then that I realized how unprepared I was to be in that situation and apparently it showed because the mob suddenly backed away from the deal. Overnight, three years of work, a distribution deal with Roger Corman and a happy ending all went down the toilet. But Andra turned out to have a heart of gold and stood by my side on one condition - that I would go into therapy with her. Her therapist was a wonderful guy named Bob Hilton, who was a master of Bio Energetics Therapy, a mind-body approach originated by Wilhelm Reich and refined in the U.S. by Alexander Lowen. I won't bore you with the details of my therapy, but will skip to the golden moment - after a year of screaming, cursing and beating things with tennis rackets - that changed my life... where Bob prompted a deep catharsis that brought up a torrent of tears that had been held back over a lifetime of pretending to be somehow special - an illusion that had, in fact, been the culprit preventing me from becoming REAL. Well, that was a turning point my relationship with Andra wouldn't survive. But what took its place was that for the first time in my life I was able to FEEL. Up till that point in my life, love had been an abstract thing, something that happened in my head. But after Bob Hilton, love was something I felt, deep in my heart and through the rest of me. The first person I fell in love with was a young Japanese girl named Hiroko, who, after an adventure of over thirty years is still my wife. Our daughter is just starting her residency practicing Chinese Medicine and instead of living in LA, we're now living in glorious Portland, Oregon. My film career? Oh, yeah. Right. After about ten years of doing everything from temping as a legal secretary to working extra and landing a few roles in commercials and TV, working as an AD here and there and producing the occasional Industrial film (don't ask me to tell you about my time at General Telephone), I decided we should move to Hawaii. Unfortunately, Hiroko didn't see things that way, so my daughter and I spent a year on the Big Island finishing a house that would teach me many of the skills I would later need buying and managing apartment buildings both in LA and now in Portland. After reuniting with Hiroko in LA, I spent five years running a sales company for a Japanese firm that made ridiculously good (and expensive) filtration products (another great story) Arai Machinery had never been able to get into any of the food processing companys in the U.S. Producing videos promoting the equipment, I succeeded where they had failed and gained a ton of experience and confidence as a business manager traveling worldwide to do pilot tests and install the Arai Machinery products. But when the Japanese bubble economy burst, that too came to an end and I was again left without work. Fortunately, an old friend, documentary producer-director David Oyster ("Cosmos") saw what I'd done promoting the filter company and asked if I could to the same - preparing pitch books - for various documentaries he was working on. Suddenly, I was back in the film business, co producing a six hour PBS documentary, "America's Scenic Rail Journeys," for me mostly in Alaska. My only problem was that I wasn't gay, and the longer I stayed on the series, the bigger the problem became... so before long I was out of a job again. That was my moment to look into the abyss. At nearly fifty, straight hetero and not a drop of Jewish blood, I was really dead in Hollywood. Like Tommy, I wrestled with thoughts of suicide, but then realized - like many, I think - that the upside of being ready to kill yourself is that no matter what alternative you choose, there is nowhere to go but UP! So, using all the skills I'd acquired over a lifetime, I decided I didn't need anyone to hire me. I could make my own films. First a documentary on Waldorf education (CINE Golden Eagle Award - "The Waldorf Promise"), then a comedy-horror film (FrightFest Best Comedy-Horror film 2004 - "Director's Cut"), and once in Portland, an hour documentary on sustainable business ("A Passion for Sustainability" - played 100+ PBS markets, in worldwide distribution), and most recently a micro-budget feature about an Iraq combat vet who returns home with PTSD ("Purple Mind" - Ytinifni Pictures). So, yeah, I had some "juice" as a kid, but it wasn't till half a lifetime later that I could really say, "I did it all on my own," and God Bless all the wonderful people who helped along the way. Oh, BTW: still makin' movies!
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Great nice story .We have to stay positive in life . I am also a late starter . I was in my late 40's . I worked as a sub editor than as Assistant Editor . Due to health reasons I started freelancing I decided to write scripts . I hated the concept of writing on poverty so I took to writing on women issues. My first guru was an American . He used to rap on my knuckles . I thought of quitting than another friend Dawn Chapman encouraged me . I used many sites like Trigger there I was literally asked to go write regional films . Than I started attending Hypnotique sessions . I learned the power of the subconscious mind . I have written three scripts by myself , though my kind friends edited for me .
Wow. Don't know if rapping the knuckles is the way to great writing. Subconscious sounds a lot better. Best to you in all you do. Thanks for the comment.
Thanks for your kind comments. I appreciate it . In India we had the Gurukul they used to be very strict while teaching . Sometimes kindness always does not help . Of course I still cant write like a native for that my FB friend helped me for free. Of course after getting a Producer I will surely pay him .for his trouble . People are so kind .
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Thanks for sharing your story.
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Thank you, Gretchen. Best to you and success in all you do.
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Terrific post, Eric. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Richard. More to come.
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Thank you Eric for taking the time to share your adventures, and life lessons!
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It is the lucky boy or girl who has parents able to serve as good role models. Mine were great in many respects but failed miserably in others. Thanks for your comment. Wishing you great success in all your endeavors.
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Truly inspiring. Thank you, Eric! Take care.