Hi ! I'm sharing with you my new composition ;) https://soundcloud.com/nascentgrass/where-is-yesterday-v2
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First of all 'it works'. Having listened to it, here are some things to consider for the next one - this is what I would have heard from my composition instructor... You start the piece in Cminor and it never leaves in Cminor. There are many ways to vary a piece to keep it interesting. For example modulation to a higher key adds tension - a lower key loses tension. You also maintained the same tempo throughout - same idea. You did a reasonably good job layering, but have you considered solo'ing? For example, in a tension piece, percussion could be used for solo'ing - if you are using acoustic instruments try a pitched percussive instrument - perhaps a timpani? Also your piece reminded me of something I am constantly getting feedback for - we are not writing for rock, pop, or jazz - there is no need for a 'rhythm section'. Listeners are very good at feeling the rhythm even if not explicity defined. There is no need to have a rhythmic 'bass line' to underpin your rhythm. Try without - will seem strange at first but listen to other professional film scores and you will find, that there is a way to make the listener feel the rhythm without having to specific carry it by percussion or bass.