Hello, everyone.
My name is Shayla. I'm from Austin, Texas. I've been interested in screenwriting since 2016 when I took A/V classes in high school. I graduated from SFASU in 2023 with a Bachelor's in filmmaking and minor in creative writing. I have a finished horror feature length script that I'm looking to get feedback on, and submit to screenplay competitions. My end goal is to get my screenplay produced. It is more than welcome if anyone would like to connect and offer feedback or advice.
Thank you!
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Hi, Shayla Robinson. Great to meet you. Congratulations on graduating from SFASU!
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Thank you Maurice Vaughan!
You're welcome, Shayla Robinson. What kind of Horror script did you write?
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It's a revenge ghost story. The summary is: When a suppressed young man embarks on the road for his college move-in day, he loses control of his car. While on the grueling voyage to return home, disastrous incidents lead him to uncover an unsettling family secret.
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A revenge ghost story sounds interesting, Shayla Robinson. If you don't mind me giving feedback on your logline, I think it's just the setup of the story. And I think "disastrous incidents lead him to uncover an unsettling family secret" is vague. I suggest telling the story goal and stakes.
Here’s a logline template that might help: After/when ______ (the inciting incident/event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality) _______ (the protagonist’s position/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes).
The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: A _______ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality) _______ (the protagonist’s position/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes) after/when ______ (the inciting incident/event that sets the plot in motion).
Loglines can be two sentences, but I think a one-sentence logline sounds better, and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it. Try to keep your logline to 35 words or less. Long loglines can make producers, directors, etc. pass on a project.
Avoid using “must” in loglines. “Must” usually means the protagonist is forced to do whatever they need to do in the story instead of doing it willingly. You might need to use “must” in a logline though, like when the protagonist is forced by another character to do something.
Names in loglines are usually for biopics, well-known stories, and franchises (like Mission: Impossible).
Sometimes I put the location and date that the story takes place in instead of the inciting incident if it’s a Period Piece script.
All stories don’t follow this logline template. Biopics, documentaries, and Experimental scripts might not follow the template. The series logline for a TV show can follow this template, but the pilot logline and episode loglines for the show might not.
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Thank you so much Maurice Vaughan. I will try out the template and get back to you with an advised logline.
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You're welcome, Shayla Robinson. Ok, looking forward to seeing your new logline.
And you could post your logline, synopsis, and script on your profile. Producers search profiles on here for projects, and other members can rate your logline & read your synopsis and script. Click the gear symbol in the top right-hand corner and select “Edit profile” in the drop-down menu. Scroll down to “Loglines” and click “Add/edit loglines” to the right of “Loglines.” You can also post them on your profile this way: www.stage32.com/loglines (near the top where it says “Add a Logline”)
Stage 32 also has feedback services. www.stage32.com/scriptservices
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Would you recommend submitting work to screenplay competitions?
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I recommend it, Shayla Robinson. Stage 32 has contests (www.stage32.com/scriptservices/contests). If you win a contest or place as a Finalist, Stage 32 will send your work to agents, literary managers, and industry executives. If you don't see contests that fit your projects, keep an eye on the Contest Page. Stage 32 will be adding more contests.
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Best Wishes, Shayla...Keep doing great things.
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Welcome Shayla Robinson! Congratulations on all of your accomplishments so far!
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Hi Shayla Robinson You're doing great! Nice to meet you here
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Hello Shayla Robinson , welcome :) looking forward to connect!
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Thank you for the insight Maurice Vaughan! I can’t wait to look into the competitions!
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You're welcome, Shayla Robinson. Hope your script does great in the competitions!
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Hi Shayla! Congrats. My first completed screenplay was a horror as well that I've been entering into contests. All the best to you!
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Hi Shayala Robison, you are on the right place to unfold your writing welcome.
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Hi Shayla! Nice to meet you :) I'm based in the San Antonio area as of right now, cool to see someone nearby! Good luck on your script production!!
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Thank you Asif Balouch. How has you screenplay been placing in competitions?
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Hi Angela Mack! Thank you. It’s nice to meet you too. It’s cool to see someone nearby too!
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I've placed in in Quarterfinals and semifinals in multiple competitions so far for three of my scripts.
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Omg that’s so cool Asif Balouch! Congratulations!