On Writing : Feedback on 5 minute play by Shanika Freeman

Shanika Freeman

Feedback on 5 minute play

Hello everyone, I recently finished a 5 minute play and I would love to get feedback. It tackled class and racism. I think my biggest weakness right now is the dialogue and pacing. I feel that it may be a bit on the nose and preachy at times and that's something I really want to work on. If anyone would like to take a look and give me honest critique please let me know. rip my play apart please?

Malcolm White

Racism is for small minded people and Politics; you are riding a dead horse and will end up walking back to the barn. That is how I would address your play…..and that's without reading your work...I'm 65, what is your targeted age group?

Abby LaVal Clark

I am openminded and would love to read what you have written

David E. Gates

Malcolm, he said his play "tackled class and racism". Try telling anyone of colour that their campaign to root out racism is "riding a dead horse" and that they are "small minded" and I'm sure you'll receive short shrift.

Pandora Scooter

Hi Shankika - I'm a POC playwright/writer/script doctor with 30 years experience. I'd be happy to take a look at your play. Send it on over my way.

Isaac Gesser

You can send it My way if you want. I always love a story tackling any type of intolerance or bullying. In any case, you have my support. These issues should never be considered a "dead horse!"

David Odimegwu


David Odimegwu

I understand your pains Shanika Freeman most writer tends to have issues creating dialogue. but over the years, i have come to notice and a conclusion that most writers don't pay attention to the codes of screen writing and such might find it difficult when creating his\her story.Creating dialogue is the last step in the screenwriting

process. Dialogue writing should not be attempted until the

story outline, and the character studies have been

thoroughly completed.

Writers who attempt dialogue before the story has been

planned in detail usually find that the act of writing

dialogue is such a pleasant diversion from the nitty-gritty

of character study that they forget that the story, not the

dialogue is the major issue, and find that the characters

take of the story and dictate the terms of play to the


if you as a writer dont have the character study or board which gives the bio details of the character such as :- what your character does when he is lonely, how he interact with his environment, his strength and weaknesses, e.t.c . then such problems may occur. i hope these little knowledge would put you on a right track. in the mean time kindly inbox, for more hints and i would love to see an excerpt of your work.

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