Screenwriting : Characters Intro by Louis Tété

Louis, I've learned to confine character descriptions to age and traits. (Thanks for the tip, Jorge!)

I used to always add physical appearance in character descriptions...but now, I see Jorge's point about how adding looks can limit casting possibilities. So now, I toss in a character's looks only if other characters talk about it.

Great question, Louis! Thanks for posting!

I state their age, then short or tall, thin, fat, long blond hair etc. but that's it. Let the story tell the persons character is what I vote..

Age and personality as well as any kind of physical identifier such as a scar, limp, etc. that is important to the story. This not only helps inform the reader right away as to the character but provides a starting point for the actor portraying them. I would think that when an actor is approached with a script and given a certain role "they'd be perfect for", they aren't going to want read an entire script just to get the basic idea of what this character is all about. The sooner you can let the reader know that this character is an ass, or a straight-A student, or the "bad boy" the better. But that's just what I think.

It's good to capture their essence in the description. "She wears her life on her face" says a lot more in a lot less words to the reader ( in my opinion ), than physical descriptions. However it all depends on what your trying to convey.

I describe the character traits that will show up later in the script. It gives the reader a foundation to become involved.

I find that I switch up how I introduce characters. At times I'd give a description, other times I'd give traits that show their personality, other times I'd just state name and let the story bring out their character. It depends for me.

I never describe the character's traits through another character. Their actions will tell all and the audience will feel good that they were allowed to figure it out on their own.

Age, gender, hair, makeup, race and wardrobe. In very simple descriptions.

“He is lack and greasy as the his hair, jeans and t-shirt that he thinks makes him and individual, just like every other loser.”

Then I’ll hint at how they are acting before they say anything. No shot starts with an actor standing still.

You can say so much with a few words.

“The kind of guy police stop and search”

“She is disinterested, verging in a coma”

“He is so dense light bends around him”

I do this kind of thing to set up expectations and give the reader a hint of performance of characters in my head.

I’ll rewrite these heaps as I learn more about my character. For me this is the fun part.

I believe in a short physical description: hair color, age, clothing choice. The reason that I say this is when I read a story, I quickly visualize the characters and if into the story, new information changes my first impression, it kind of takes me out of the story for a bit.

We need to give the actors a chance to do their thing rather than tell them what their demeanor should be, etc. If the dialog does not reflect their personality, we need to rework the dialog, then leave the rest to the actor and director. We need to have faith in them and let then wax eloquent with the script we give them.

Katheryn Maddox Haddad Please don’t fall into the trap of believing that you as a writer cannot write what you want. How is anyone suppose to know what a story is when stuff is left out.

Of course they will make it their own. But it has to be yours to start with. What about if they miss something and interpret it wrong. They will not think they made the mistake. They will blame your writing.

Well, I don't think it is that simple nor can it be considered in such reductive terms: as only one way or the other. It's often more complicated than that and better writers are able to better interweave information in an entertaining way. Plus these things are best considered independently and within context: a specific character intro in a specific screenplay may require a different approach than some other character intro in some other screenplay. Personally speaking, I don’t really care for the huge, character-intro-dump paragraph as if giving some stats report or police profile. Rather I prefer intros that keep that first description mention to a minimum and expose tidbits of a character’s personality or situation through the action.

Some of the best character intros I have ever read are from Mud written by Jeff Nichols, especially the intro for the title character "Mud." Not only does it describe him physically but also through his action and dialogue, and how other characters react and respond to him. See pages 8-ish through 14-ish. Or just read the first 15 pages and be wowed by effective writing: https://www.scriptslug.com/assets/uploads/scripts/mud-2012.pdf. ;)

Intros are better when they artfully showcase a character. When they create a drip, drip, drip of information. A character’s intro can create quite the image over several pages or through a scene. Then, the character is further built upon throughout the story. In my opinion, it’s better to lure a reader in and make them want to know more. A character should feel or have the sense that she/he has been living way before the story even takes place. Many intros just plop in some character “poof” as if they magically now exist, expecting a reader to remember those thrown-at-them stats. Connection with a character is usually best created through action and over many scenes.

Here's some helpful advice from John August that I always keep in mind:

"The best character introductions tend to include both a sense of what you see (the character’s physical appearance) and an intriguing tidbit about their personality and/or situation."

"Look for details that have an iceberg quality: only a little bit sticks above the surface, but it represents a huge mass of character information the reader can fill in."

Personally, I love little bits that are not technically “visual” but yet create a great sense of a character. Creates an instant image. I see non-visual sentences or little tiny novelistic elements used extremely well. Used judiciously and effectively, they are fantastic.

Examples:

One intro that did something fun with the age. From Butter: “This is LAURA PICKLER and her age is none of your business.” That cracked me up when I read it. I knew exactly what type of person is implied. What she looks like, how she would behave, her attitude, etc.

An example from John August: “Jeremy’s MOTHER is two valiums and three stiff drinks into the afternoon. She’s trying to figure out how to work the disposable camera.”

From Justified: “Ava sits alone, picks at a wedge of cherry pie. When a man sits down across from her, she looks up with the beginnings of a loving smile — only to discover her former father-in-law, BO CROWDER. Yeah, the lion is out of his cage. He’s grinning, but everything about him radiates menace.”

Love it.

Anyway, of course, there are countless options and different opinions when it comes to character intros. My two cents, don’t just adhere to expectations but rather create meaningful moments that are effective and meaningful to the story. Because no matter what, the writing should be entertaining. ;)

Great share, Beth, and extra kudos for actually citing examples.

Best fortunes in your creative endeavors, Beth and Louis!

Indeed. Yes!

I have a protagonist who is a biracial teen, attending a high school undergoing integration. Although I now mention this in his introduction and my log line, the viewer will not discover this until half way through the film. In my earlier draft, I let the reader discover this later as well, but from the feedback I received, this little twist didn't go over too well. Just thought I'd put this out there for your thoughts.

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. Beth Fox Heisinger John August's characters descriptions are awesome haha. In the end, as Karen Stark justly said, it all depends on what you try to convey to the audience. There're many variables to consider in my opinion.

For me, it comes down to 2 things: who they are, and how important they are. Here's what I mean: a character that I'm only going to see once, maybe twice=No description. Secondary character=Description in parenthesis (General age, 1 physical trait, 1 personality trait). Primary characters=In-depth description that doesn't go longer than a couple of sentences (Make your words count. After all, you are a screenwriter).

A few other things to consider: only mention what's important. Age and gender are kind of givens, but ethnicity, religious preference, etc. are not. Only bring up stuff like that if it's a vital piece of information. And also, let the reader learn about your characters as you go. Little quirks will show themselves along the way, and the audience will see more of them come out as the tale plays itself out.

I hope this was helpful and, at the very least, not a repetition of what someone else has already said. Have fun writing, Louis.

Beth Fox Heisinger thank you for your Master Class perspectives. Very helpful.

I always mention a person attitude, how the person would be acting the actions being described. Behaviour is driven by attitude.

Hi Joe, I don’t discuss thing that can be learn. But you know when you first see someone and you know how they are going to react by how they are standing, their posture, their look. That is what I describe. So immediately the reader knows how to read the character.

Some thing like “he is an angry young man, he doesn’t know why, just like every other teenager”.

I have used “not her first rodeo” and “ the type of guy cop harass”.

Hi Joe, I would do all the physical stuff and then a character queue. In Amy i described a police call Harrison as a good looking black guy, T-shirt, muscles with his badge hanging on a chain around his neck, a Denzel Washington want-to-be.

I am trying to get across the idea of a guy trying to be cool, trying to be Denzel but failing. His charm comes across as a bit fake, he smiles a bit too wide. Just a hint to the reader and maybe the actor of the attitude of the person on the screen.

I bet you had an opinion when you read “not her first rodeo”. That’s why I wrote it. Drops an idea in the readers head.

For a screenplay, I write only what the audience can see. They cannot see emotions or if someone is having a bad day. They need to have it shown...through action or dialogue...

Respectfully disagree. Makeup, camera shots and actor direction is not within the writers purview. Just the story for a spec script.

Kay, I'm so glad you said that. I am self-taught (read lots of books) and ordered Final Draft. When I took a sample script to a screenwriters org'n I joined, they ALL said, "Take everything out except dialog and location; you're telling the actors what to do. They even directed me to one of their members who taught screenwriting (and apparently them) and he agreed; take everything out unless it is necessary to understand the dialog. Later, when I had my script analyzed, they said it was terrible and boring and explained how to create the story for the reader. I was so glad! I love writing with adjectives. So I was in hog heaven rewriting it. That's when I went from the cellar to the rooftop with a top 2% rating.

Kay, I quit attending that screenwriters' meetings.

Hi all. Here is my 2 cents. When a screenwriter is writing a script, there are so many considerations that come into play. And one of those considerations is the tone of the whole thing. I assume, many of you have read the screenplay for Lethal Weapon. If my memory serves me correctly, there is some character description interwoven into this ‘masterpiece.’

My point being that as writers, we are attempting to have the reader fall into the hole in the page, as Stephen King says. And a shooting script is different than the original script which attempts to seduce us into its world.

I appreciate the discussion. It’s interesting to hear all your various views. Thank you.

Different things work for different people.

My writing style, over 35 years in the business, with over a dozen produced/globally performed scripts, apparently works for me....and maybe not for others...and that doesn’t bother me a bit.

I prefer to let the actor determine character mannerisms etc of the characters they are to bring to life, and organically grow with them within the story as the character evolves, without being instructed unnecessarily so, and I don’t care if they are blue eyed and are depressed. Emotional state can be shown through their actions...(depressed, anxious, angry, crazy) This may be the actor in me, but again, it works for me as a creative. Different strokes.

I suppose that my point is, give enough initial intro to the character and the scene without writing their unseen emotional state, or dress, or physical characteristics if not necessary to the story (if they have a speech impediment or other thing necessary, blind...etc) because they will evolve throughout the story.

For example...little description but enough to give the actress/actor the character without exposition that can’t be seen.

After setting the scene, small Irish Cottage” etc...

“REANNA O'NEIL (15) sits cross-legged on the earthen floor by the fire. Cradled in her lap, CATHERINE (6) plays with a rag-doll and sings a childhood Gaelic song.

Seated across the small fire, PADRAIC (37) chats with COLLEEN (35) as she removes cooked potatoes from the cauldron and cuts them into chunks.

She laughs and lovingly shoulders him.

THUNDERCLAP.

Startled, all look to the window. The sky darkens and it begins to rain.

COLLEEN

Ye'd best get a move on or ye'll be late for work, Reanna.

Without unnecessary descriptors, the reader knows it’s a small Irish family who seem loving, and from the Cottage and scene set-up description, impoverished.

Nothing else is needed for this scene in terms of character exposition.

Again...Imho.

Not here for a pissin’ contest. Saying what works artistically and commercially for me as a writer.

Dan, my point is the audience CAN see emotion on screen because the performers can use their whole facial, voice and body movement to portray such ...not so in the writtenscript ...without major exposition, so I show the actor through their scripted action how to create the emotional scene.

I don’t unnecessarily describe the character’s physical description as it limits the actors able to play them.

I.e I introduce Reanna’s sister and brother in-law, without describing their appearance.

We already know it’s an impoverished tenement slum so they are impoverished...so thin and unhealthy looking when Rihanna arrives with the news...

I don’t care about hair color, height, political allegiance or scar from a childhood accident, because it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t matter to the story.

INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT - NIGHT

A one-room apartment lit by a thick candle.

Reanna hunches over a table, her eyes vacant, her hands folded in her lap as SEAMUS, (25) comforts her grief-stricken sister, SIOBHAN (18).

SIOBHAN A: Oh, sweet Mother of Jesus, no.

REANNA : I'm so sorry. If only I’d let him..

Siobhan, too upset to speak, shakes her head.

SEAMUS : Are ye certain he's...

REANNA : I dunno. There was so much blood.

Siobhan wipes the tears from her eyes, slams her hands on the table and bolts up.

SIOBHAN : Well, I not let them take anymore of mine. Ye can stay with me and Seamus.

SEAMUS

(Dumbfounded)

We can't take her in!

Agree, accepted by some but I limit it wherever I feel it not necessary...just me mayhaps...

Benicio del Toro Read the usual suspects and just did what he wanted. Actors are artists, they interpret.

There will never be a meeting where someone says “the writer has written something, we cant change that”.

Lonergan is a writer/director. So when he write he is writing as the director.

So Dan, is that what every director does or would you say he is a rarity?

Again Dan, are these rare case or the norm? Because I seem to remember you saying that the director will disregard a writer and do exactly what he wants. So have you changed your mind? Are our words now sacred?

I do like two lines in the Lethal Weapon spec.

“This is the kind of house I’ll buy of the script is successful”

and

“this would be a great house to have sex in”.

Which is what I mean when I say “you can do anything as long as it is great”.

Different strokes for different folks

Dan, I believe that when an actor who has mastered the character, says or rearranges any wording in the script, my instinct in post is...is it better? If so, it stays, otherwise, if I have some wording I want to be exact...for whatever reason, it is presented as written.

The most important thing to me is the story, and if an actor brings added value through spontaneous improv or something, I will digest and consider it and edit the script for further performances. Again, just my process...maYhaps not for every writer. I agree... Ron Howard is a brilliant creative.

I would like to think that actors would stay on script. But interview after interview you hear “we improv all through the film”. In JAWS “we’re going to need a bigger boat”, improv.

I just heard Chris Macquarie say a script isn’t meant to be made. It is meant to interest a director, which then peaks the interest of actors and on it goes. Once you start the process, then you write the movie. His take on the industry not mine.

I am writing something at the moment I think I can shoot. So I will rehearse the crap out of it. During that time I will get all the feedback I can from the actors.

Take us through their outer and internal journey's and your main character(s) should have a “wound” that makes us "feel" who they are. You hear it all the time, show don’t tell.

Usually “readers” read scripts first and they always look for reasons to stop reading your script, so keep everything concise, they love white space on the page more than text especially if the page has a shape of hour-glass text vs. a brick wall of text.

Focus on the “sell” of your script. Show the reader a story they can visualize in their mind as they read, their version of the character will come to life through dialogue and action. You’re always in a development mode, both before and after the option. Once your script is optioned and a director attached, you’ll work out the details with the director when it comes to your character’s characteristics.

Myself, I put the exact age if necessary, like “based on a true story,” and use the approximate age, like 30’s, when “inspired by a true story” but only on the main characters, all other characters, don’t even put ages. For example: “ROBERT, 30’s, gets in the UBER, as the DRIVER watches him through the rearview mirror.” What we know here, the driver will be an adult and Robert is an important character.

Hope that helps!

Rolando, I couldn’t agree more. “Show the reader a story they can visualize in their mind as they read, their version of the character will come to life through dialogue and action” is precisely why I produce a professionally dramatized audio of the SP with music and sound effects to help me, and then the interested party, to visualize it....

I'm still listening in on you pros talking back and forth and lovin' it. Rachel, you mentioned an audio with music and sound effects. Usually people refer to a video. Either way, both should be professionally made and I cannot afford that. The music is soooo important to setting the correct mood. My pilot is on a subject that most people back up with soft music or period music or choral music. I chose strong hard-hitting marching music with a strong cadance like used for Game of Thrones and Chronicles of Narnia (esp. Army of Kings). Even though nice things may occur in a scene, I want the audience to continually be reminded the protagonist is on a mission -- to do the impossible. Since I cannot provide the music, although I guess it is not standard, I begin the script with MUSIC IN THE STYLE OF GAME OF THRONES. I am told it is not done, but I have no other way.

Katheryn, I just need the dramatized audio for my purpose...produced for web broadcast on you-tube, podcasts etc....For your music need, there are a number of free sound effects/sound tracts you can access by simply giving credit to the composer....let me see if I can find one with the emotion of what I think you’re looking for. I can send you the audio file so that you can see what kind of free effects are out there...and go from there with audio or video...

I already have my music. A young man in Colorado wanted a chance, so he did it free. My problem is that I do not have money to create a professional audio or video. So, I put the music and other things on my website and just mentioned the music at the beginning of my script. Since the reader does not know what my young man composed, I mention a well-known one by comparison. So, is it kosher to mention the music at the beginning of a script? It is very important because most people approach my topic with a lot of schmooz. I don't.

Well, everyone, I just heard from the producer who has a block-buster just coming out. I had told him ahead of time that, if he felt my pilot was good, I would stay with it. But, if he thought it was not, I would abide by that and put my script away in my closet and go back to writing books. Although it was ranked in the top 2% in everything when a TV writer critiqued it. my "big producer" thought nearly everything needed to be reworked. I cannot reach the depths and heights he said I needed. The script is full of goals, setbacks, wounds, their motivations, etc. But he did not see them. If he didn't, then I didn't write them after all. So, now, my friends, I am going to put all my television writing books and files away in my closet. I have plenty of other things I can do. I've written 68 books, so I guess I'll go back to that. Bye for now, my friends.

Katheryn, although you know the music you want, it’s really not up to the writer...and...if you have music that you have complete rights to, maybe in your query letter you can indicate it...but not in the spec script... sorry to hear about the response you received from the producer...I hope you pick it up again later and continue pursing it...

Do you have an acting conservatory or theater groups in your area? You may ask if they have any actors who would like to take a shot at a dramatic reading....to at least give you an idea if your scene set ups and dialogue work.... one actor can do 5-6 character voices...but make sure they are good actors!

I am too old to pursue it further. I've been at it for three years. I am nearly 80 years old.