Screenwriting : Formatting question... by Chaun Lee

John's right. The best way is probably to Match-cut the same scene but character grown-up or however it plays out. But there's also those "unwritten rules" blah blah blah... no cuts/direction.

Oh so...do you think writing the following is sufficient? "She runs happily across the field--her smiling face matures with each stride. By the time she reaches the base of the mountain, her face is that of a woman, a younger version of her mother."

I'd just write something in the action line about the character morphing from a child to an adult as she runs across the field and try to not over think it.

Hi Chaun Lee

I think the key principles are clarity and simplicity.

As a writer, you can describe it exactly how you envisage it, but you have it make it clear for the reader and easy for a director and crew to shoot.

To imply the passage of time, I think having something in the shot that changes, would help, like a piece of farm equipment that gets rusty or weathered.

For ease of shooting with two different actors, if the young girl falls in a meadow and her older self gets up, that helps address that type of transition issue.

Craig Prickett , John Day and Rob Jones, thanks a lot. I feel more comfortable with how I've chosen to write it now. I figured it should be as simple as possible.

Nick, I was very basic in my description, but plan on adding details in nature to add more beauty. Thank you :)

Thank you, Eoin. Those are excellent ideas.

I'm blocking a scene much like you describe in which I'm overlaying some fixed camera locations and overlaying shots with varying opacity (editing).

The vision of her becoming an adult is very strong and doesn't need much more in action or description. You might put her new image-name in all Caps again with the new age. That might be all you need.

Nice, Doug. Good luck with that and with your film festival.

Thank you, Jerry. I've written lots of montages and I don't envision this one as a montage, though. It's just one action of her running and maturing into an adult by the end of her run.

It might work as a MONTAGE.

Thank you, Dan. It definitely could work as a montage, but this is for a complex pilot so I need the space.

Claude, from the end of the first act, she is an adult. I think showing a slow transition into adulthood with her crossing a beloved landscape where her mother once played would make the tempo compliment the dramatic tone of it. It's a historical adaptation. .

Make great use of your slug line and transition (if allowed)...

I think that's where matters most. You can't just tell us in the action line; "Mary grows up"... That sounds Amateur (I think).

Felix, I'm showing her growing up, not telling the reader that she is- which I wanted to format correctly. I think with all of the suggestions, it's now a lot smoother, more compelling, engaging and succinct. Thank you so much :)

I would write it as:

EXT. FIELD - DAY

YOUNG GIRL runs across the pasture/flowers.

DISSOLVE TO -

The young girl, now a WOMAN, reaches the end of the field.

Thank you, Mohammed. I appreciate your suggestions sincerely.

I think it's a great idea, this may be a random thought, but maybe you could use symbolism to enhance the action. For example when your character is crossing the field, instead of flowers, a field full of butterflies to symbolize metamorphosis and to symbolize her growth/change.

Thank you, E.C. That's a great idea!

I love this, Carl. Thank you. :)

Talk with the Director. You can morph the Spring field & trees into Autumn colors via a green screen and cross fade young to older character with some simple X fades as she moves across the frames. Not a big budget solution and fairly easy if you put the Director, DP and Editor on the same page. I would shoot it slo-mo in three shots (just my opinion).

"I would shoot it slo-mo in three shots"...nice. Child, Adolescent, and Woman. Thank you, Doug!

Here's how the original Lion King handled it.

Thanks for the example Laurie. I forgot about Lion King.