Hey I really need help with rewriting a montage. I'm attempting to write a montage for the first time so how far off am I? I won't burden anyone with the whole page but this is part of it. Two teenagers are getting ready to bake polymer clay coffins. Thank you in advance!
A series of shots all close and teasing. The black clay is set aside on top of the medium sized work bench below. Another slab of black used clay plops down next to it. A small slab of red clay plops next to it. Jack’s hand reaches for the black clay on the table. He separates it in half and gives Nick the other half. Ball rolling into shape. Hands stretch the clay to a rectangular shape. A string slices through the clay, then another slice. A hand reaches for a big slab of used red clay in the corner of a work bench. A tiny piece rolls into a ball spreading out to a very thin line. A piece is placed on top of the black clay, then a small one crosses it. Then it is revealed-- a tiny black casket with a red cross is placed on a cookie sheet among several others.