Screenwriting : How do you take rejection? by Phillip E. Hardy, Prolifique

I wallow for a short period of time and then dive back into working.

Found out I didn't make the Semi Finals of PAGE yesterday after placing as a quarter finalist. Bummed. Gonna let myself feel bad for a day then just move forward.

Amen to that Fiona

Christian:

First, Page is a very tough and competitive contest. Having made the QF's last year, I was even pleased to do that. Being top 10 or 15 percent ain't too shabby. But definitely allow yourself some grieving time. I whiffed in a contest yesterday where I thought I would easily place. But I went right back to working on a script that I agreed to write for an up and coming director. What else can we do but soldier on?

Built up the wall in my early twenties selling vacuum cleaners door to door. Every no is one step closer to a yes.

I have a thick skin but the rejection does get old. I usually wallow for a day, curse at the entity that rejected me for a day, then move on.

For every two, "that a boy!"s come one "You Suck!". It's not fun but I think I have a feel for the rhythm.

I stopped stressing about selling specs and concentrated on writing great sample concepts. Focus on access than sells.

I get angry at the toe sucking cretin that rejected my wondrous gem, I cool off with a beer then I repackage the script and send it off to another. After half a dozen tries (or so) some fine upstanding person agrees with me. It's just the nature of the business - and I enjoy a really good beer every now & again.

I just sent my scripts out knowing the odds of someone wanting to option it was slim to none so when I would get rejection I did not think about it one way or the other.

My short (my second attempt at filmmaking) got rejected by festivals. On a positive note, it made me look long and hard at improvement. On a negative note, I developed a very bad case of paralysis of analysis, which severely damaged my creativity for a few years.

I'm not cured yet, but I'm getting better. I'm starting to understand that improvement only comes with education and action. I also realized that (worst case scenario) I'd rather be the worst filmmaker who ever lived than not be a filmmaker... Giving yourself permission to suck is awesome!

Owen, I totally agree! I do appreciate people who share their experience and knowledge, whether they do it through books, or seminars, or classes, or friendship and mentorship, or whatever. That said, I think the biggest problem with the gurus is that they seem to encourage overthinking. In my experience, the more time you spend thinking about screenwriting and directing, the less time you spend screenwriting and directing. A lot of my unlearning relates to that.

Thanks Uncle Phil for the advice!

I get better and find other ways Sometimes in order to move forward you need to get a couple of steps back

Indulge in a little Schadenfreude: how silly, stupid, and fearful for his job the rejector will be when he realizes he passed on the next blockbuster.

Agree with A S - same with JK Rowling all previous 12 publishing experts were fired after Harry Potter's success

Think of it like a game of catch. There is no loser if there is another throw. Pick up the ball and throw it back again. Script didn't work? Write a better one.

I have a soul crushing workout to exercise/exorcism the demons inside me that make me write and I torture myself with 60lb kettle bells, then take a nap and start over.

Exorcise then Exercise. Ain't English wunnerful?!

I'm better at it than I used to be. I've had practice with having some of my ideas rejected by producers and others! My screenplay Dead Wake won 4 laurels at a few film festivals, so when another film festival didn't select it, it didn't bother me. I had a moment of, 'Wait, seriously? Not even allowed to compete?" But then I thought, "Hey I have 2 finalists laurels, a winner and three more contests to be announced. I don't suck!" LOL.

Lisa:

Damn it! You don't suck!

Lisa, I'm so happy for you! That's awesome! Obviously that other festival got it wrong. LOL! :)

I love the, "I don't suck!" moment....for the moment

I'm never surprised by any negative feedback I've gotten, but I think that's partly because I've done a lot of research into where I should be putting my work at this early stage in my career. I know that the people I've sent it to have real knowledge and will give constructive feedback. There have been a couple that I'm wrong about in that, but I'd say I've been about 90% on the money on finding the right people to get that from.

The upside of that is that I know what they're saying has some validity, even if I don't agree at the beginning. All of this has helped me to improve. So, when I get that negative feedback, after the initial "Damn it" that echoes in my head, I spend time thinking and processing that feedback, and then move forward and hopefully improve.

SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP ...BUT KEEP TRYING NEVER GIVE UP ...AND I AM 82 lol

Professional or personal?

Being that I've had sooooo many rejections in this business I've become numb to it (lol) and now take on the Jack Canfield approach to it. SWSWSWSW Which is Some Will Some Won't So What Someone's Waiting

For me it's cider and chocolate and sulk for a few days, then read/watch something rubbish and think, heck I'm sure I can do better than that!

try to be better and find the right person for me to communicate - everyone is different

I was also once rejected to write a comedy for Daniel Sadek, who was at the time looking for a writer for a buddy comedy film to star Eddie Griffin. He told me to my face (well, via Skype) that I was not being chosen. My reaction at the time was a polite, "Well, thanks for taking the time to talk to me and good luck finding the right person!" and then signing off and vowing to write an amazing comedy -- which I still only have 1/3 done because I have other stuff to write and do - but I swear I will. To this day if I make someone laugh at my day job or elsewhere by saying something off the cuff,, I'll sometimes follow it up with, "To think I was rejected for a comedy!" Meanwhile as far as I know, Sadek and Griffin STILL have not made that comedy! But it did spur me on to want to write one!

Thanks, Aray. It took years to get to this point. But I've come to the conclusion that there are so many uncontrollable variables in this game that all you can do (if you truly enjoy writing screenplays -which I do) is to keep trying till the ball rolls in your favor. : )

Keep doing the work. Read The War of Art and Turning Pro by Steven Pressfield.