Screenwriting : Last scene writer‘s block by Lukas Flemming

You are not alone.

So much, Currently having a struggle myself, with a "mid section" and I just cant seem to get past this hump, something is missing, I just cant reach it. Certainly do know the feeling, wish I didn't but do.

Do you have to have this "scene" in the screenplay? Can't you just... simply deleted? This is what I do if a scene doesn't work or is doesn't advance the story. I have to admit, I hate deleting scenes, but I been doing it more lately, than years ago when I started writing. I guest, one does get better the more one writes. Hope this helped a little. Let me know how it all worked out in the end. Good luck.

Hmm I‘d love to delete it, but it is the setuo for the last scene. In the scene that remains to be written I introduce a card game, the cards of which wrap up the movie. So the scene isn’t pivotal in and of itself but it is important as a setup. Darn, I should‘ve written it earlier! I reckon I might try to add a placeholder for another scene in the hope that will free me up for the one I require and them I can either add anothre scene or delete the placeholder... fingers crossed... :D thanks for the advice, Jorge J Prieto !

Natalie Elizabeth Beech any help I can offer?

Not sure, perhaps you can, Lukas, need to progress the story from setting A ( bar in Lisbon) to city centre apartment, each transition I write just isn't doing it for me, I feel this story so much, but this one part just isn't jiving with the rest of the set up/tone. I'm thinking on it, want it to be vibrant and lively as the rest is intended to be, so yeah... stuck.

Maybe we could talk more privately? I can run the idea by you with more detail sometime Lukas?

Sure! You can pm me here or on twitter; or send me an e-mail...

Keep thinking on it, take a walk, shower, think, think, think. if you're anything like me- the perfect alternative will come to you if you do the work of keeping it on your mind. Also if I ever hit a roadblock, re-reading the whole screenplay can be very helpful.

Constance York thanks formthe adivce; I have finished my third draft of the whole thing, except for that one bloody scene! I have created mind maps and beat boards and I can‘t get it to work properly. It’s like there is a two-page blur over the thing! Just the setup throws me... it reads like a joke... „An Englishman and Irishman and a German go into a pub“ is basically the outline... horrible!

I've been doing this for 15 years and I still have to do at least 5 drafts. At least.

You did say that it's a tone issue. Tone is usually consistent throughout a piece of writing. You should have the tone pretty established at this point. Stay consistent, and get back into that mindset of that tone.

1. What is the purpose of the scene?

2. How does it advance my story?

3. What are the goals of each character?

4. What is the conflict/conflicts in the scene?

5. Is there unity of action?

6. Is the scene plausible in the world of my story?

Those are just the big six questions, and they mostly relate to the main meat of a scene. I have a list of 50 questions, but if those six don't propel my story forward, I would consider the scene to be unnecessary.

Then I would address the tone issue, and get it rolling. Sometimes, what I think is the problem really isn't the problem, and I really find out that the scene just doesn't work; doesn't fit in; or just isn't necessary in the framework of my story.

Good Luck and Happy Writing, Lukas!

Thank you, Bill Costantini , that’s a good check-list. It’s more a problem that I can’t really get back into the zone of the mood. It’s a bit like editing something so many times you sort of lose interest. Not that I lost interest, but I know everything around this scene so well I am sort of lacking persoective. I can’t see the wood for the trees, as ‘twere... I need to zoom out of the script, get an oversight and zoom into that scene. Instead I have about 100 scenes, all in detail, floating around in my mind...

I’ll try and establish the conflict further and maybe I’ll get the ball rolling from there...

"Zoom out of the script, get an oversight and zoom into that scene?" Wow...that's pretty heavy. You neo-Expressionist Germans always smash my self-esteem to zero.

I'm gonna go and play Topfschlagen with my Maschinenmensch. Nothing picks me up like a good game of Topfschlagen. Heh-heh.

;) really, am I so terribly German? Does it show that much O.o

Then again, most Germans find my evocative language funny at best and weird at worst...

How come you know about Topfschlagen?

Lukas: doesn't everybody know about Topfschlagen?

Here in Las Vegas...AKA Sin City.....our version of Topfschlagen might be a little different than your version of Topfschlagen. We use....oops....I better not say, since Stage32 is a family website. I don't want the three-year old child actor in my Stage32 Network to start thinking that I might be a little weird or anything.

Hmmm...Topfschlagen and Maschinenmensch. Now I gotta go watch Metropolis again. 90 years old....what a classic.

;) I’m only guessing here, but I assume you don’t use a ladle?

Hit the pot? Depends what state you live in as to how you play I would imagine.

Folks in Cali probably have a wonderful time :P

Natalie has some seriously hip comedic chops - keep an eye on her, Lukas. I bet she'd be the type to sneak out of the pool while playing Marco Polo and if you were Marco.

Lukas...speaking of hip Brits....did you ever straighten out your naughty word dilemma? I was just thinking how much you have the potential to totally remind me of Don Logan - if you were violent and a killer; if you were bald and goatee'd; if you pee'd on my carpet; and if you were a psychotic thug trying to recruit me for one last job. Don Logan probably could have never existed without that potty mouth of his, you know.

Funny you should mention my comedic chops,

I did try my hand at standup what feels a lifetime ago, never really worked out.

I think i am a funny story teller but not good with routines. Plus if someone heckles, I get too "British hooligan" and not enough "British lady" about it and there is literally always one.

Ok, first of all: don‘t google sexy beast and the f word. All manners of things come up, wich I found out to my own cost.

And as far as the profanity is concerned, I‘m thinking: “if they don like it... [insert four letter word] ‘em”...

Don Logan is indeed an awesome character; I have rarely seen a movie with so little content and plot that excelled such in every other aspect!

If anyone wants to do stand-up, I still have about an hour and a half of stand-up script you can have...

I reckon as the creator I have a right and a claim to write the characters and the language the way I want, sod the rest!

I’ve never played Marco Polo... sounds like an interesting game... is there a version played at the deep end? That would be fun!

Natalie Elizabeth Beech what topics did you do?

Lukas: I know you're kidding about the content of Sexy Beast. The main plot of Gil having to do what's wrong, even though it's the right choice (which is forced on him)....the subplot of Don and Jackie....and of Teddy, and the crew, and the actual job...the demon scenes....the symbolism of water.....the twists and ironies....the unity of action....that's one amazing, richly-textured script.

No, I actually meant it, but explained badly. Of course there is conflict and drama, but in actual content, as far as the action is concerned, it is almost neglible... I mean it’s a bit like waiting for godot. The center is on the character and the background rather than live action. It is in no way meant as a rebuke. Do you understand what I mean? Of course the rabbit scene is, in a way, action, but that’s taking place in Gal‘s head. It’s very art-housey...

I would say that if you define the pillars of a film as: Background, Characters, Action, Conflict, Humour and Language (bit random, I admit), then the action as a subsection of the plot takes a back seat...

It is quite old school in that sense. You probably could have shot it in two sets for even less. Which is a compliment to the script...

I sometimes drink a bit of wine and verbally argue with myself. “What are you trying to say here Travis? I don’t know, what should I say here? You know the answer to that, stop talking to yourself and type it fool.” All of that is said in a voice that’s a perfect mix of Adam Sandler and Mr. T.

You know what Twain said about the Germans... “whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.”

No disrespect intended

In the words of Colonel Klink from Hogan's Heroes fame...."Innnteresting....veddy innnteresting."

If I'm reading the subtext in Travis' words correctly, Lukas, I think he just challenged you to a game of Topfschlagen, followed up by a game of Marco Polo.

Early line betting: Lukas 6/5 favorite in Topfschlagen....Travis 3/2 favorite in Marco Polo....Natalie Elizabeth Beech 1/5 favorite to beat them both....Rammstein 1/10 favorite to rock hard at their next show in Las Vegas...Dan MaxXx even money favorite to lose all his money. All bets are now officially open!

Ich glaube das nicht!

Yeah, we used to have „The awful German language“ in the bathroom in my flat share...

As someone who has studies the Latin language/literature for 14 years, I don’t really see what the fuss is, tbh... I reckon both Latin and German are very sort of mathematical and logical in their grammatical structure. I always felt it was like doing my times tables when I did the declensions...

Contrary we had huge difficulties learning English at school, and I was unable to really learn with the grammar book. So I had to dive in at the deep end and learn-by-doing... which sort of means that my English is perfect (for a given value) but at the same time I know about as mich about the English grammar terminology as I know about the German one. Nothing...

And thus, the cliches carry on. Which, I can tell you as a German, is not funny at all. Because we don’t have a sense of humour. Instead we have a good sense of beer and sausages!

I took 4 years of German in high school and most of us struggled with it and if I’m being honest I think it was just good old fashioned American laziness. And it’s beyond ridiculous of anyone who speaks English in the US to throw stones. Language in the US is a clusterf$ck.

Travis Sharp how American! A Brit woul‘ve said „clusterf£ck“!... I have to say though, I find it amazing, that you had four years of German. I have relatives in the US, first and second generation Americans and they don’t speak a word of German.

Wot a pitee zhat zhe tcherman langwhich is so unappreechiatid!

Hmm with Topfschlagen it all depends on the crowd, really... difficult to place odds on them... so, what we need is a common, neutral ground.

Belgium? Or Canada?

Or is that too much of the German [insert substitute to humour]...?

Bill Costantini I guess you’ll be umpire? Or rather bookie!?

Can I bet on myself? No offence lads, I just reckon I'd beat you #selfconfidence.

I beg to disagree, a Brit would say "load of bollocks" :P



I also took German in HS, I still kind of understand it, but I mix sie and sie a bunch and fuck up the tenses lots. I should really try and brush up! My language skills could really use improvement, even in Portuguese I make silly errors.



To reference your earlier question Lukas, what did I do in my comedy? Generally day to day stuff/rambles plus fascism, feminism, pregnancy whole manner of things. Guess you would call what I did observational comedy. Not a good “joke teller”, Jimmy Carrs early stand up routines had me in stitches but going on stage and rattling out punch line after punch line I find exhausting.

Yeah, but Carr is really exceptional in that it is only specifically written jokes, barely any observation at all! I could never do that. Now, Ross Noble, on the other hand, doesn’t have any jokes at all, he merely voices his thought and views in a stream of consciousness that rips you off your feet. Carr is quite funny, but repetitive. When I told him I was studying Latin, after a gig, he said “oh, so, future unemployed is what you’re saying”, wich was exactly what he had told anyone studying literature in the queue before me...

Lukas: I prefer to wear both hats - umpire and bookie. That way I can save some money on the overhead, and I can...uh....give even more back to the community.

Four-year Latin high-school scholar here. Forty years later, and I still have the scars on my knuckles. There's like 70 ways to conjugate a verb in the active tense, and I only knew 30 or so. One whack for each missed word, and every time we got whacked, we had to say "yes may I have another please" in Latin. Whack!....quod sic se habent ut sis mihi, Pater Michael..Whack!...quod sic se habent ut sis mihi, Pater Michael...Whack!...quod sic se habent ut sis mihi, Pater Michael.....oh man....I gotta go outside and hit somebody now. Heh-heh.

Natalie: your odds just went even lower. And they probably got that male superiority thing going on, too, the bloody wankers! I have a feeling you're gonna beat these guys like they stole something from you!

Hmm, I think you’re missing something here... as the resident German... let’s just say I’ll cheat in both.

Concerning the Latin, I’ll just say:

Romanes eunt domus!

CENTURION: "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home", this is motion towards, isn't it, boy?

BILL: Dative?

[Centurion draws his sword and holds it to Bill's throat]

Lukas, I agree wholeheartedly, had a chat (none aftershow, cause there he was much the same as you describe) with him at the fringe years back( maybe 11 years?), when he is "off" meaning is no longer "comedian Jimmy" he is an ok fella, but I agree all he knows is one liners, which, on his first 2-3 big tours served, because they were interspersed with some observation and story telling, which made it bearable.

Ross Noble, agree love him, Frankie Boyle and Dylan Moran have long been my faves, as well as Billy Connolly, Bill Bailey and one of my less known favourites Andrew Lawrence especially back when he was long haired and singing about "bitches in the lake". So many female comedians I can hardly name them.

Over the pond my new( well "renewed" I guess) favourite is Donald Glover, I just rewatched his "Weirdo" standup and its unfair that one man should be so talented. I think he is who I want to be when I grow up.

Bill, I'm a feminist asshole, from the North of England, I have hooligan and beating blokes like they stole stuff, in my blood. ;-).

P.s I am a Brit born and bred, but been living in Portugal for a long long time, I have learned very well how to cheat by watching mr CR7 take dives left, right and centre. So I'm sure I can "out cheat" the cheat, its maybe the one good thing Portugal taught me :P

Natalie, I check that list and raise you: Rhod Gilbert and (better yet) Joe Lycett for their weird letters they write to companies/councils, Alan and Greg Davies and Lewis Black...

Unfortunately I know few female stand-ups or rather of all the female comedians I know, I’m not sure whomdoes stand up, but Imwould mention at this point Jo Brand (number 1 for me), Sarah Milican, Sara Pascoe, Kathy Burke and the ever delightful Sandy Toksvig...

And that’s just the living ones... don’t get me started on the classics!

By the way: Do give us a shout before you start shooting, will ya? I’ll fly over and watch... I haven’t been there for nearly a year!

Definitely will do. Wanna be involved? It'll be a ragtag indie crew, can use as many hands on deck as possible. Happy to pay your flight , we are blessed in terms of low cost travel here in Europe though. Will of course credit you properly in any and all endeavours.

Of course, happy for you to just be a guest and watch, either way is fine.

You mentioned lots of my faves, Jo Brand is also my favourite, in terms of character acting Kathy Burke, Jennifer Saunders and who can forget Julie Walters. Of course, I don't think I can mention female comedians and not mention the irreplaceable Victoria Wood. My fave American female comedian is and I think always will be Lily Tomlin. I like her other "serious" roles too but her stand up records really meant a lot to me in my formative years.

Do you know, I was watching QI with Victoria Wood the other day and I had totally forgotten she was dead... she’s so lively in her ways... it feel weird! And Julie Walter, of course, excells in every role, though I don’t know that many comedy roles of hers.

Do you have a timeline/schedule for the movie yet?

I’d love to get involved... my family have a holiday home in Aroeira... I usually go there once or twice a year... don’t worry about the flight :)

We have no definite dates yet, because as you may have experienced city hall in Portugal is appallingly slow. We won't be shooting in summer though, at least, not what the tourists would call summer, end of September/ Early October is what we are aiming for.

Still lots of light and good spots open, less people to contend with and of course, we want to miss the web summit crowd because they jam up the entire city from Expo to basically Campo Pequeno.

If you would like to come on board as producer or some other capacity I'd be happy to hold a role for you.

Regarding the part of the script with which I was blocked, your suggestions; whilst not completely relevant for my lead female, because she is the argumentative one, did give me an idea of how I can approach the transition.

Niggling things escalating I think is the way to go and it morphing with basically every stop they take along the walk home.

I’d definitely like to be part of the project, but so far I have only worked in front of the camera, so I have no idea about behind the camera... (I did cameraman once but it was for a trailer for a play, so fairly little to do)

I wouldn’t recommend myself, due to my lack of experience, but if there’s something I can do (especially remotely as I probably won’t be able to stay in Lisbon too long in a row), I’ll gladly do so... I do have some experience with organising a team and balancing a budget from work...

I actually prefer the off seasons... much less tourists!

Well, we can talk about specifics regarding your role privately if you would like.

Don't sell yourself short you seem very insightful, we also seem to share lots in common I am sure we could work well regardless of the roles each is filling.

The way I see it, the only way you can gain experience is for someone to give you the opportunity to get it, so I am happy for you to step a little out of your comfort zone, I have fulfilled many roles on sets before especially as I had lots of friends in film school and lots of them had no funds but had to make their final projects all at the same time.

It was basically me and a director, I did everything that wasn't directing, budget, securing funds, casting, insurance, location scouting, the works. So I am comfortable wearing many hats.

I am completely and utterly passionate about offering a platform to other creatives, I want all of my projects to feel welcoming, inclusive and truly collaborative.

You can certainly do lots of stuff remotely too, I am hoping to get the shoot wrapped quickly by planning things "remotely" and have detailed scene work hashed out before shooting, like deeeetaillled. We are in a capital city, will have to deal with strangers and all those other troubles, so most if not all will be done before we hit the streets.

Agree, I hate summers in the city, I try and always get away to Ericeira and leave Lisbon behind lots of days, cant walk for rows of tourists, it just makes everything feel hotter, more time consuming and just loud SO LOUD.

Perfect! Just send me an e-mail when the opportunity arises! Looking forward to working with you!

Hey-hey....the makings of another Stage32 success story? Don't forget to do a little behind-the-scenes documentary that you can send to us here at Stage32. Cheers!

Possibly, I certainly hope so. Glad to have found the thread on curse words, I knew grandma was wrong and swearing would get me somewhere someday. ;)

I'm a terrible vlogger, but I am sure there will be some footage that'll make it here somehow. Some maybe against my will.

Thanks for the banter too Bill, its been a really enjoyable few days of conversation, Long may it continue! Great community experience here so far, should have joined years back.

And, just to calm your thoughts, Natalie, I have a very high opinion of myself ant think I am quite capable to do whatever is thrown at me, especially intellectually (not that good with holding a camera or boom without shaking), so all I‘m saying is I‘m lacking experience, but I pick things up quicker than most, if I say so myself... my German analytical mind is a help there :)