Hi guys! What are your thoughts on my logline: As an ex-soldier with PTSD tries lucid dream therapy, he soon relies on it too much and gradually loses his sense of what is reality.
Reads more like a premise line, not quite a logline. A logline is a succinct summary of the narrative. So needs a little more to give a better sense of a story. What happens? Plot? What are the stakes? He loses his sense of reality, but to what end? Is he being manipulated by some “doctor?” Does he fall in too deep and must realize or do something, or else? Anyway, it seems close, just needs more story info. I’d also suggest trying different sentence structures and phrasing. Reads a bit clumsy starting the sentence with “as.” You also do not need “what is” just “loses his sense of reality” is enough. Hope that helps some. Do explore options. ;)
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Love it. Simple and compelling. Evokes a cross between Terminal Man and Paprika.
Thanks! I haven't seen both of the movies but I will now!
1 person likes this
Reads more like a premise line, not quite a logline. A logline is a succinct summary of the narrative. So needs a little more to give a better sense of a story. What happens? Plot? What are the stakes? He loses his sense of reality, but to what end? Is he being manipulated by some “doctor?” Does he fall in too deep and must realize or do something, or else? Anyway, it seems close, just needs more story info. I’d also suggest trying different sentence structures and phrasing. Reads a bit clumsy starting the sentence with “as.” You also do not need “what is” just “loses his sense of reality” is enough. Hope that helps some. Do explore options. ;)
Find the novel for Terminal Man. The movie was lack-luster.
Yeah I felt something was missing. Thanks!