So, I’m trying write my first screenplay and I would like feedback on a logline I came up with. What do you all think about, “A vengeful veteran pits a group of mercenaries against each other after they left her for dead”
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Kind of interesting. What genre is it? What's the setting? What films are similar in tone?
I would like to write it as a revenge action type. Kinda like a Kill Bill or Death Wish, but obviously with its own twist and turns.
Sounds interesting to me. I'd give that a shot if I saw that logline on my cable guide.
The last few vengeance films I saw were John WIck 3; Peppermint; and Cold Pursuit. Each was a great story that engaged me; was unpredictable; had memorable scenes; and had characters that moved me.
So please do the same with your writing. Keep it engaging; unpredictable; memorable; and with great characters.
Best fortunes in your creative endeavors, Amber - and thank you for your service!
Awesome! Thank you Bill! That means a lot to me
I have to say Amber, your logline is actually quite good for someone who is attempting their first script. You'll do well.
Awesome! Thank you Ally!
That's actually the logline for the 2017 french thriller Revenge. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6738136/ Except instead of Mercenaries, they're hunters. Check it out. It's really, really good. I wouldn't be deterred at all by the fact that every revenge film shares a similar plot, Revenge (2017)proves that no matter how many times this story is told, it's still hugely entertaining when it's well done.
Thanks ML. I’ll check it out!
I think it's great! Only suggestion might be subbing "an avenging" for "a vengeful". It just sort of roles better.
Amber Gentry Very simple and effective logline. I'm sure it'll work for many you're pitching to as an initial interest-grabber. The only thing I'd consider is extending it a little to incorporate some further detail on stakes and conflict. But great work. Here if I can be of any further assistance.