Your Stage : Logline feedback by Joe Thayer

Joe Thayer

Logline feedback

Just posted a new logline. Any thoughts and feedback appreciated.

"An odd young man, prone to fantasy and hallucinations, latches onto a beautiful hustler, and her crew. When a botched deal pits the crew against each other, he must choose to save the girl he loves or give in to despair."

You can rate it here if you have a moment:

Anthony Moore

I think its a bit wordy and doesn't really raise the stakes enough. Just my opinion. Try this one:

"A young daydreamer falls in love with a beautiful hustler but when her biggest score goes south, he must put his own life on the line to save hers."

Joe Thayer

Thanks Anthony! Appreciate your input.

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