Okay I have a little time today to work on my short script. I've been playing with the logline and would love some input. Title: The Old Man in the Santa Suit Tagline: What if you ran into Santa Claus during a bank robbery? Logline: A down on his luck and desperate bitter 20 something robs a bank on Christmas eve when an Old Man dressed as Santa walks in and a little girl who's convinced he's the real thing.
Screenwriting : Testing logline by Erica Benedikty
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FANTASTIC CONCEPT, This idea could be fleshed out for some brilliant intellectual mind play, between the robber, the little girl, and the rest of the trapped onlookers. Another bonus, possible one location making it cheaper to produce. It will be interesting to learn how the little girls enthusiasm for Santa, pricks the conscience of the intruder, and the battle of wits begins. Personally I would rearrange words in log line, "Desperate and down on his luck, an embittered twenty year old man breaks into a bank. An old man dressed as Santa walks in and a delighted little girl believes him to be the real thing."
Thank you! I do agree the logline needs some work. I have the first draft done but it's time to go back and add more to really flush out the possibilities.
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Erica, I kindly suggest you post this under the 30-Day Write Club weekly check-in blog, which will post later today. The weekly blogs will occur every Sunday in November. We'd like to keep participants posting in the same locations, either in the ongoing November thread or on the weekly check-in blogs, so we can better monitor progress and see who's participating. Thanks! :)
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Okay will do, just point me in the direction of the blog when it's up and running.
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There'll be a site notification when the blog is posted, so just keep an eye out. It should be up around 2pm PST. :)
Dang, looks like I missed yesterday's blog. Will make sure I tune in next Sunday, thanks for your efforts to sort out a blog.
Debbie, go ahead and post on the blog. You haven't missed a thing: https://www.stage32.com/blog/Stage-32-November-30-Day-Write-Club-Forging...