Screenwriting : Nunnery by Dean Steven Nichols

Dean Steven Nichols

Nunnery

This is my latest project. I would appreciate your feedback. NUNNERY LOGLINE: A young woman who is lured into a life of prostitution and drugs, reaches out to the house of God and finds that she is destined to attract evil. OUTLINE: Yvonne Leo, a young woman from a wealthy and religious family in Paris, fell in love with Mateo Salomon, a French-Italian art student wannabe, who introduced her to drugs and prostitution. Her mother, Clotilde Leo hopelessly tried to make her realize that Mateo only uses her, but she hides that she personally knows him as a male prostitute with whom she has spent time in the past. Her father, Damien Leo, German scientist with a prestigious position in the European space Institute, gave her an ultimatum, to either, end her relationship and change her lifestyle, or she is not welcome to the family. Disowned by her family, she moved in with Mateo and began working as a prostitute to support her addiction, and Mateo’s needs. Adele Rose, a seasoned prostitute, and Placide Florence, a transgender prostitute, both victims of circumstances, tried to help Yvonne. One night, they took her to a motel where usually Mateo hangs out looking for wealthy women or men to offer them his services. But because of her insecurity, dependency on drugs and her family’s rejection, she closed her eyes to the facts and fell deeper into drugs, until one night after an almost lethal injection transported to the hospital. Placide went to Yvonne’s estate and talked to Clotilde. Both women went to the hospital where Placide offered her to stay in her parents' home in Plaisir, about 40 minutes from Paris, which after her mother’s death had remained empty. Yvonne, determined to change her lifestyle, accepted her offer, and moved to the country home. A couple of days later, Placide, brought her belongings from Mateo’s apartment and introduced her to her cousin Gael Ruben, who owns the local bookstore. Gael, hired Yvonne as an accountant. With her cheerful character and her extended knowledge in religion, Yvonne quickly established friendship with Brigitte Maelys, a nun from a monastery nearby who often visiting the bookstore. Brigitte, invited her to visit the monastery. Mesmerized by the serenity, Yvonne became a nun. One day as she was categorizing the library, a book titled “The Diary of Father Samuel Nicholas Esther,” caught her attention. Yvonne recognized her grandfather’s name, retired priest, now living in the French Riviera. She began reading the diary, and learned that 25 years ago, he successfully performed an exorcism, to a single mother. However, the spirit had left her disabled, and unable to take care of her four-month daughter, Yvonne, which Samuel had adopted soon after. Alarmed, she talked to Brigitte, with whom she developed a very close friendship, but without revealing that Samuel is her grandfather, asked if they have any more information pretending that she is only interesting about the exorcism. Brigitte, who had developed a motherly love for Yvonne, revealed that the only person that can give her all the details, is her cousin, Reverend Mother Odile Duval. Thus, she is the woman, Father Samuel performed the exorcism. Shocked by the discovery Yvonne began having nightmares, which gradually became daily hallucinations. In fear of being asked to leave the monastery, but curious to learn the details, she did not talk about her experiences. One night, a shadow appeared in her chamber, and instructed her to go to the North site of the catacombs where she will find the answers to her questions. The next morning Yvonne went to the catacombs and discovered a door that was sealed off with a wax crest on the lock. She broke the seal and opened the door, and finds a dark room with no windows or other doors. The walls were painted black, and in the center, an altar made of human skeletons. A sudden draft ruffled Yvonne’s hair, and an evil smile darkened her face. Within the next few days, she began demonstrating telekinetic and telepathic abilities, as well as the capacity, to manifest the desires of those who ask. She soon attracted the attention of a few nuns who began following her. In a very short time six of the eleven nuns with Yvonne as their leader, began performing satanic rituals in the hidden room, but soon Brigitte discovered them, and immediately talked to the Reverend Mother. Odile revealed that, after the exorcism, a mark, similar to the mark on Yvonne’s face had appeared under her daughter’s left eye, and that she was suspecting that Yvonne, she was her daughter. She also revealed that the monastery had been built on the top of an 18th-century satanic coven to protect the village. According to local legends and myths of the village, there are hidden catacombs under the monastery that only the chosen one could discover. Odile, instructed Brigitte to contact the cardinal in Paris, but no telephone or the Internet it was working. Yvonne, who had been listening behind the door, walked in the room, wearing the satanic pentacle around her neck; behind her, her six followers pushing in the two sisters who refused to join them. The seven Satan worshiping sisters took the four women in the ritual chamber and after a ceremony, Yvonne killed the four women and invoked the devil by offering their blood. An earthquake destroyed most of the village as the devil blessed the monastery and the seven Satanist sisters with his power. The seven sisters began recruiting the villagers and killing those who refuse to follow. The event soon became known to the Pope, who visited the village to exorcise the evil. For three days and three nights, the Pope, two Cardinals and father Samuel Nicholas Esther, exorcised the monastery. On the third day, the monastery exploded and the dark cloud that had been covering the village lifted. A shadowed figure fled to the countryside. Two days later, the newspapers, headlined the murders of Adele Rose and Placide Florence. Their bodies were found skinned with the tongues cut off on the street, and an accident that killed Father Samuel Nicholas Esther, his daughter and her husband in French Riviera. At Leo’s Mansion in Paris, a UPS delivery man wearing a cross around his neck, knocked the door. Yvonne received the package, as the driver got back on the truck and started the engine the truck exploded. Yvonne with a smile upon her face closed the door. Later that night, Mateo, driving a Ferrari, stopped outside of a strip club in Paris, Yvonne provocatively dressed, got out of the car while Mateo drove away wearing the satanic pentacle. At the Corner of... THE FINAL EXPLOSION IS YET TO BE REVEALED. Copyrighted. Dean Steven Nichols

Phillip "The Scribe Who Cares'" Hardy

Cool logline.

Dean Steven Nichols

Thank you Sam, thank you Phillip; yes, there were a few discrepancies. I am taking on this idea on next months CampNanoWrimo, and I sould have it done by the end of April, with 100K estimated word count. I have 40% of the script done.

Dean Steven Nichols

100k Novel. I am also working on the novel version Lisa.

Dean Steven Nichols

Sam, I am writing the novel and the script separately. Each, it’s written differently, there are depictions and events in the novel that will not be in the script, and vice versa. The script contains large blocks of dialog, and it is written in the present tense, where the novel, it is written in the third person past tense, with limited dialog. Transferring a script to word it will not make sense, the formatting is different. I estimate the novel to 100K, where the script is approximately, 95 to 115 pages.

Dean Steven Nichols

Sam, It appears to be some conflict between word and page count. Novelists count words NOT pages, and it’s what defines their work. Flash, under 2,500 words. Short stories can range from 2,500 to 7,500 words. Novellettes are from 7,500 to 20,000 words. Novellas are from 20,000 to 50,000 words. Novels are from 70,000 to 90,000 words. The Genre will affect the length of the story, too. Young Adult novels tend to be shorter than novels and can be 50,000 to 80,000 words long. Science Fiction and Fantasy novels tend to be longer and can be up to 125,000 words long. Anything above considered epic. Screenplays are different. Since all screenplays use Courier font, the length is expressed in terms of pages: Screenplays are 95 to 120 pages long. Anything above 120 pages considered epic.

Dean Steven Nichols

Hum. Not even for an entire village? This is a major exorcism.

Dean Steven Nichols

Sean, there is one more final scene, I did not include, and I believe; it will make him change his mind.

Dean Steven Nichols

Good point Lisa. I have some research done; maybe not as extensive as it should, but the final details are still at works. Every exorcism must be approved by the Vatican, but we are not talking about an individual here. I have mentioned that there is one more final scene. Briefly, and mostly it's part of a back story, my protagonist, Yvonne. She is pregnant, with what expected to be the Antichist. I'll be updating the outline soon.

Phillip "The Scribe Who Cares'" Hardy

Who cares about reality? Unless you’re doing a biopic or historical work like “Selma” how much does it matter? The highest grossing movie of 2014 had a talking raccoon as a main character. Last time I looked, I’ve never seen giant robots from another world having fist fights in downtown LA. The whole premise of exorcism is one that requires any reasonable person to check their cranial endowments at the door. Have you’ve watched “The Exorcist” lately? That film remains one of the most brilliant scary movies ever made. However, the premise is actually quite ludicrous. I’ve haven’t seen many thirteen year old children levitate, spew projectile vomit and have their head do a 360 degree spin have you? First and foremost, a well written, well told story with good acting to sell will have a better chance at success than a well-researched, historically accurate story that’s a bore.

Dean Steven Nichols

I agree with Phillip; it is fiction, and in fiction everything's possible and acceptable. However, I have to agree with Sean as well. Some logical/reality basis should be present, not 100%, because we talk about fiction. I am also "forever working" on a story titled Aburna, where a witch becomes part of major historical events, such as ww1, ww2, and 1906 SF Earthquake, just to name a few. The research, it has been an ordeal, because it has to be accurate.

Phillip "The Scribe Who Cares'" Hardy

Sean: Disagree all you want. You're taking my point to extreme degree. By the way, the second Jurassic Park does have a T-Rex on board a ship; Just not the Titanic. If you read my post, Titanic would be included in a historical type drama.

Phillip "The Scribe Who Cares'" Hardy

Dean: I've done several historical fiction type dramas and I perform research to the degree it helps tell the story. However, I'm writing 0ne hundred and twenty pages; so I don't want to spend it giving a history lesson; only providing the reader a visual picture of the time period I'm depicting. At a certain point, you have to create historical backdrop; but unless you were at Gettysburg, you can’t tell me exactly what Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain said during the battle of Little Round Top. I’ve seen people spending ridiculous amounts of time on research and still crafting a terrible movie or screenplay.

Dean Steven Nichols

I am 100% with on that Phillip, and I am not talking about Nunnery, that's set and done, however, on Aburna, I have to have exact dates and events, otherwise the plot will be all over the place. It is a historical/Goth/horror.

Phillip "The Scribe Who Cares'" Hardy

Dean: I like your idea. I just read your synopsis (you're calling it outline) and will offer you a couple of suggestions. You tell your story in past tense. I would use present tense http://writersrelief.com/blog/2013/01/5-common-synopsis-mistakes-that-fi.... And my other suggestion is you don't need to identify your character's last names.

Dean Steven Nichols

Phillip, this is in a way a bit embarrassing; this is the novel outline. Yes, I have two different outlines, because both versions are very different. I'll be replacing or posting the screenplay outline as soon as I finish a few revisions.

Phillip "The Scribe Who Cares'" Hardy

Dean: No need to be embarrassed... you're among friends :)

Dean Steven Nichols

The completion of the first draft it's near, and there is a lot, of rewriting to be done as new ideas popping up. I've added a couple of new characters, and bloodier events.

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