THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.

EARLY RETIREMENT
By Julie Robinson

GENRE: Comedy
LOGLINE: When a struggling young actress can’t make rent, she hatches a scheme to pose as a senior in order to live at a retirement home where she unexpectedly gets more than ever imagined, both growing up and falling in love.

SYNOPSIS:

After receiving a reckless driving ticket, being tossed out of a casting director’s office, and getting evicted from her apartment within the space of one afternoon, MOLLY MARTIN realizes something -- her life sucks…and that’s just the beginning! Right now Molly needs to find a place to live, and with no money and bad credit, not an easy task. So what’s a girl to do? For now, Molly’s crashing at her best friend’s, MICHELLE HARRISON, who lives with her boyfriend JOHN and Saint Bernard LOU LOU. And John can’t wait for Molly to leave, and Molly can’t wait for Lou Lou to stop slobbering all over her. To make matters worse, during a shift waitressing at her “real” job Molly’s harassed by a pair of elderly women, SADIE and MISS LIZZY who appear to be blind and senile with a strange penchant for split pea soup. But things appear to be looking up when DR. DESMOND APPLE walks into the deli. When women say they want a man who treats them right, Desmond is the kind of guy they’re talking about. Desmond’s with DR. RIGBY WINSTON a cocky player but a great friend to Desmond. When Desmond and Molly meet, it’s love at first sight, but neither makes a move. Desmond leaves frustrated, with Molly disappointed. To make Molly’s life even more trying, her agent drops her, she can’t find an affordable apartment, Lou Lou’s drooling more by the day, John’s patience is wearing thin, and Michelle’s is not far behind. Molly gets a look at The Happy Valley Retirement Home when she picks Michelle up from work one evening, and she likes what she sees. While watching “Big Mama” with John and Michelle she gets an epiphany -- she’ll masquerade as an old woman and live at Happy Valley. How hard can that be? After all, she is an actress. With the help of a special effects whiz, RACHEL GEORGE, the hippest 80-something that Happy Valley’s ever seen, is born. In sensible shoes ‘Rachel’ heads up the stairs to Happy Valley nervous as a new kid on the first day of school. ‘Rachel’s’ first obstacle is about to play out; she has to get a physical from the staff doctor, none other than you guessed it…Dr. Desmond Apple. Desmond looks the same, but the tongue-tied awkwardness is gone, replaced with a calm confidence. Needless to say, outside of an unusually fast heartbeat, ‘Rachel’ is the healthiest senior he’s ever examined. The adventure continues when ‘Rachel’ meets Sadie and Miss Lizzy, the split pea soup fetish duo. Now that she’s one of them, they’re a lot of fun. Sadie constantly bickers with MAXWELL, a seemingly archetypical grumpy old man. Molly goes on an audition for a commercial as ‘Rachel.’ Lo and behold it’s the same casting director who threw her out previously, but now that she’s older and wiser, and has a good story to back up her fake resume with, he loves her. ‘Rachel’ nails the audition and gets the gig working with the man himself, William Shatner. Desmond goes by the diner and asks Molly out. Molly wants to say yes but with her masquerade and home address to consider, she isn’t going to test fate that much -- so with a lump in her throat she says no. Dejected, Desmond takes his leave. Life at Happy Valley plods along, and no senior’s life is complete without that weekly trip to the place where opportunity and excitement awaits -- the Mall. Sadie, Miss Lizzy and ‘Rachel’ spend time and pension money modeling various get ups with a more discerning eye than the most insecure teenager. But when Molly notices Desmond moping around in the mall, she’s determined to find out what he’s bummed about. Desmond confides to ‘Rachel’ that he asked Molly out and she rejected him. ‘Rachel’ advises Desmond to not to give up on Molly, enjoy the challenge, and have patience, things will work themselves out. Frustrated with her own situation, Molly asks Michelle for some advice. Michelle says to have patience, things will work themselves out. Hearing your own advice sucks. ‘Rachel’s’ commercial airs and everyone at the center is thrilled to see her working with Shatner. Michelle decides it’s celebration time, so off to the Jazz bar they go. Now Sadie and Maxwell who have been bickering about toupees, C. Thomas Howell, and just about everything, have made it apparent to all but themselves that this can mean just one thing -- Love. But for tonight they’ll just dance together. Michelle and John do the forbidden dance, while Desmond dances with ‘Rachel’ proving he’s trouble on the dance floor. Lizzy looks on like a proud parent until she falls asleep. It’s a great night. The next morning, Lizzy dies. Everyone’s shook up. Maxwell comforts Sadie, and with their guard’s finally let down they do what they should have done long ago -- Kiss. Living at Happy Valley has changed Molly from a selfish young woman into a caring enlightened one, and when Desmond tries to comfort ‘Rachel’ she’s overcome by guilt with the deceit of her circumstances. Life goes on, even when you don’t want it to, and several months down the road Molly’s still at Happy Valley. It’s Christmas time and Molly and Michelle are at the Mall Christmas shopping when they run into Desmond and Rigby. Now keep in mind Desmond did not know until this moment that Molly and Michelle knew one another. And technically Michelle’s not supposed to know that Desmond and Molly know each other, which she takes full advantage of by introducing them. Meanwhile Rigby just wants to figure out a way to charm Michelle but she rebuffs all of his tactics making him think he’s in love for sure. Molly takes Desmond aside to try and explain why she turned him down, without explaining anything. Desmond throws Molly for a loop. Suave as anything, Desmond kisses Molly, telling her she knows where to find him if she changes her mind. Well after a karaoke Christmas, an amazing first kiss, and the fact that Molly loves Desmond who definitely likes Molly, and who adores ‘Rachel’s’ company, Molly’s gotta get out of this confusion. What’s a girl to do? Sleep on it, which she does, oversleeping. In her bathroom with the water running and electric toothbrush buzzing Molly doesn’t hear Desmond knocking at her door. Concerned, Desmond enters Molly’s room unannounced and gets quite an eyeful -- Molly half-naked. Hurriedly, Molly packs up and leaves. Desmond’s angry and confused, but Maxwell’s words and common sense cause Desmond to seek out Molly and give her a taste of her own medicine by surprising her at the deli, disguised as an old man. All’s well that ends well, and there’s a double wedding, Desmond and Molly along with Sadie and Maxwell. Sometimes dreams do come true.

EARLY RETIREMENT

View screenplay
register for stage 32 Register / Log In