Screenwriting : Hilarious (real) solicitation for a screenwriter for hire by Kerry Douglas Dye

hahahaha, hahahaha. That's just so funny. The more I read, the higher my brow lifted. Thanks for sharing, Kerry.

Seems to me like someone's WW2 boat is taking on water in Bali. My guess --- that baby is going to sink before May 25th and he is going to miss his rally point at his Pitch Fest. Poor guy. --- Come on Kerry own up --- it's you right? LOL

So he doesn't offer any compensation at all? If not i think someone should tell him, and quite harshly too, that his demands and offers are entirely unreasonable and ridiculous. People like that need to have their bubble burst.

I got this email too. Thought about applying and fooling him, but he's not worth it.

Sounds like he's taking the mickey and that's the polite way of saying it lol - I wish him the best of luck on that one, it's so ridiculous, it's funny lol

Ha ha ha, Kerry. I've gotten some curious letters from Nigerian princes, all of them millionaires (of course). But that letter topped it.

Reminds me of a post I saw here. A guy was offering his script for sale for $600,000. When he had no takers, he knocked it down to $200,000. If only writing and selling your screenplay was that easy, hey?.. sigh ;-)

Darn Philip, I wish I had seen that. I would have asked one of my Nigerian princes to buy it. Sounds like a good investment! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Yeah I got that email too... (wel I always get them) This person is a naive drill sergeant, so many rules, so much ambition and so little time. Seven days to rewrite the script & the person is all ready to go to a pitchfest. There have been some weird job postings on Network ISA, but this has to be the best worst ad.

I read that, too. Why didn't the person just ask for an Oscar winner to drop by the house and deliver a script to him? That site is sometimes the funniest place to go when you're depressed and tired of the screenwriting rat race. "Hello, I just need an award-winning writer to finish the last 119 pages....."

I'm not signing an NDA so that lets me out...

Wow, that was great. I was told find a writing community that focuses on screenplays and learn how to write one, not go out and find somebody to write my concept for me! What memo did he get? :O

You got good advice, Melonie

"Hello. If you're me, or the person I wish I was, with work ethic, will you please write a script for me? It'll be great exposure!"

Hey fellow screenwriters, I’m booked into a pitch meeting next week. I’m looking for someone to edit my script (ie: take my two page outline, add your own voice and flourish where required and obviously format where necessary). You must know the intricacies of Futures trading, the mechanics of trains, circus management as was the custom in Munich during the late 1800s and Cordon Bleu food techniques. I will also require four days to review your script (five if I need you to make further changes). I also need you to keep it under a $2 Mil budget. Fee to be discussed pending the success of the pitch. PM me for an NDA.

Oh, and I'll be pitching it as a two hour tentpole feature.

:)

:)) ... and it must be done immediately, because your Skype is already running and the pitch appointment begins in 5 minutes...!!!!

I would love to meet the person that actually ticks all of his boxes!! Haha :-)

I'm with Amelia on this one. :-) I would also like more about the poster and whether he got any responses. Thanks for posting, I needed a smile today. :-)

Hi, I'm looking for someone to re-write "DIG" and make it understandable to the average viewer, "average" being ANYONE WHO CAN UNDERSTAND MID-EASTERN POLITICS AND THE STORY THAT WAS EXCITING UNTIL THE FINAL EPISODE WHERE IT SPUTTERED AND DIED RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DVR!!!

Wow! That is a pretty intense list.

Why not, William?

[...I think his freighter is already sunk.] ^^HA! Yep, with all of his lost marbles onboard. <smh>

He had marbles onboard? Wish someone had told me that earlier... :)) Is that 'job offer' still online?

This guy has been running this ad and or variations like it on Craigslist and ISA for over a year. Here is my version of his ad: SEEKING DETAIL-ORIENTED EDITOR AND FINAL SCRIPT FORMATTER. I need someone to take my shitty idea, imbed the breath of life into it and give it a WOW factor. This will of course be done on spec; and for the privilege of never, ever seeing a dime for your efforts because you have nothing but time to help me with my idiotic creative vision. Your Qualifications: • Must have lived in a hut with Michael Rockefeller on the Papuan Islands for a minimum of one year • Must be familiar with German new wave cinema and have seen Berlin Alexanderplatz at least thirteen times… and all the way through • Must have saved a few cats and by the way, who is Syd Field? • Must have fought in the battles of Waterloo, Trasimeno and Wake Island and be an expert on weapons from the Eastern Zhou dynasties • Have the ability to have flashbacks, as well as format them • Have a strong resemblance to Martin Heidegger • Knowledge of 18th Century maritime law and if you’ve tried a few cases, that wouldn’t hurt either • Must have knowledge of office policies utilized during the first six months of the Stalin regime • Expert knowledge of script formatting and the ability to turns a sow’s ass into a silk purse • Can block out 192 consecutive hours (15 minute breaks provided) starting whenever I say Compensation: I mail you a script, NDA and you do the work in a week and we never mention remuneration again. And sorry, I was so amused by this I had to post my ad at craigslist LA http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/wrg/5028308745.html

Ha @Elisabeth. You best have all of your own set of marbles though. :-p @Phillip: [This guy has been running this ad and or variations like it on Craigslist and ISA for over a year.] Seriously? I wonder how many battle scars had been collected by anyone who may have dared to take on such a gig. -_- Any testimonials could be just as interesting.

Paul: LA Craigslist is the stuff that douchebag dreams are made of