Screenwriting : Meeting the protagonist after page 10? by Erica Benedikty

My general thoughts, dispensed with not enough info to really give a good answer (and no idea of what your intent is, not even if you're writing for indie, studio, DIY, experimental, etc.) -- You are very likely asking for a lot of patience from your reader. However, if the writing is very gripping, then the reader will be compelled to take the ride with you, no matter how a narrative unfolds. Never say never.

That is a long opening scene/sequence, 6-8 pages. Better be KICK ASS gripping words on a page. Star Wars IV- I think Luke shows up after 10-mins.

I think your right. As of now, it's set up like a thriller opening, but there is enough that can be trimmed that still accomplishes the same thing but in less time. I'm trying a different version now in which I go between my opening with the protagonist and the original opening with the Antagonist. Should be neat to see how each one reads and what one is better.

Yeah, I'm kind of juxtaposing the two right now (at least I hope I am). The self doubt kicks in for the "Better be KICK ASS gripping words on a page". I don't know if I can pull that off.

50/50, right? Apologies if I get the details wrong. You can YouTube check me. As I recall, BOURNE IDENTITY opens with Bourne floating on a boat. James Bond opens with a teaser set-piece in which Bond defeats a random bad guy. DIE HARD is John McClane at the airport. Jaws opens with a teaser of the antagonist killing a random swimmer. Star Wars opens by setting up the villain and his agenda. Pretty sure SILENCE OF THE LAMBS is Buffalo Bill kidnapping the Senator's daughter. [Oops - I was wrong. A quick YouTube check tells me that SILENCE opens with Clarice Starling running the FBI training course. Is the van kidnap scene the 2nd sequence? I will have to pull out my DVD later.] 50/50, though I don't have any real statistics.

I agree with @Regina (very first answer). If the writing is gripping enough to sustain the reader they will hang in for the ride. I would add to that, the Protagonist needs to have been worth the wait, when they finally do appear. Holding the audience in suspense, is anyone ever going to oppose Antagonists done deeds, may work if the pay off is satisfying. It's down to the individual screenplay whether or not this tactic works. I became angry watching Wolfe Creek because I was waiting and waiting for someone to step in and depose the antagonist sadistic bushman.....it never happened, and I felt cheated at the end of the film.

Tell the story the way it needs to be told. Establish the conflict as strongly as you can. Then reevaluate when this draft is done.

Great comments everyone, thank you! I did get some feed back from a reader who thought the opening work really well and didn't bore them. It kept them intrigued and guessing and didn't notice the 10 page opening. So hopefully I'm heading in the right direction. The other really positive comment I got was that the story didn't sound familiar. So I'm really happy with that.

Game of Thrones. Took John Snow years to become important to the story. All stories are different, serve the story not your logic. Read it into a recorder and play it back. Do you get bored? Dump those bits. I had an antagonist appear on page 50. A producer suggest I move him to the front in a cold open, like the shark,in Jaws. I did it, the script is far worse for it.

I say do a mixture: I like the idea of opening with the Antagonist and then meeting the Hero. But 10 minutes could be long - as everyone's saying, depending on how gripping the scenes are (which they could be!). If you're feeling unsure maybe cut it down like you said. But meeting the antagonist first is always interesting.

Rick (Bogart) in Casablanca doesn't appear in person until page 14 (though he is talked about some prior to then): http://mckeestory.com/wp-content/uploads/Digital-CASABLANCA.pdf I love the way he's introduced: ''Rick is an American of indeterminate age." Sounds like Bogart alright.

Delaying the entrance of the protagonist creates an anticipation for their arrival

That's a serrrrrrrrriously long first scene. Blade Runner, Edge of Tomorrow, Instellar and Star Wars had many scenes in those first ten pages. So did Silence of the Lambs, Apocalypse Now, Heat, Birdman...etc..etc. I don't know about that first scene of yours, Erica....

Oh my! What's this world coming to? Ten whole pages! I'll bet dollars to donuts that you can break that into multiple scenes, each raising the suspense/intrigue regarding the protagonist. I have no idea what else you've introduced in your ten pages or how you've set up your story line. Remember, there are no rules – just show us a damn good story.

So in my new draft I have it down to 8 pages. I've tried a version in which I cut between the opening scene and the opening of the Protagonist, I think both could work but for now I'm going with the 8 page opening and see what happens. If the feedback is bad, it can always be changed. Trying to be as original as one could be and not copy other styles (with in reason). Hope it works.

A couple of points: Never open dull! And if you have to explain your story – It ain't workin'. Your story needs a rhythm. Open with a mighty dissonance to make sure your audience is awake. It doesn't have to relate to your story (a la Bond films) but it's better if it does (a la Jaws). Generally, the sooner you can introduce your characters and their conflict, the better off your story will be. What Dan said is very practical and true; although I don't put a specific page count on it. I will tell you that as a reader, if you don't have me interested in the first 10 pages or so, I'll never make to page 25.

I don't think introducing your protagonist until page 10 is a good idea. You need a POV for your script. That comes from the protagonist. We (the audience) should be experiencing the movie from the point of view of the protagonist. It begs the question as to who is telling the story for the first ten minutes of the movie. I recommend you stop looking at your script as a script, but rather as a movie. Could you imagine 10 minutes before meeting Indiana Jones? Or 10 minutes before meeting Marty McFly? As an audience member I meet to meet you protagonist as soon as possible. This doesn't mean on page 1. It just means as soon as possible.

You can open with the protagonist or the problem, either works.

I'm gonna repeat myself: If you got to explain it, your story ain't workin'. That vital bit of wisdom was handed down to me by Ole' Steel-Eyed Stan one night in a dive after a loooong hot day on set out west of Tucson in the early 70's. It still holds true.

Star Wars - no Luke for a while

You're opening your story in what sounds like a non-sequential progression and that's a good way to lose the reader/audience right up front. Maybe you're an excellent writer and can pull it off – but it's high-risk. Enter your story as late as you can and get out as early as you can. What happens if you start on page 5?

Anyone know what page the protagonist in "Star Wars: A New Hope" is introduced?

Quite a few of you are referencing Star Wars as an example of a protagonists very late entry into a movie. And while this is a solid example, it isn't something you should be targeting after. This is an exception to the rule. It worked because the movie open with space ships, a laser battle and two arguing droids... And arguably cinema's greatest villain. Unless you are opening your film with something so awe inspiring, I think you'd be better served introducing your protagonist much sooner than that. But look, it's your film. If you think it could work, do it. But understand, it probably won't, and most audiences will think the same.

Godfather. Don't see Michael for a while.

It seems that if a writer can open the movie with something very interesting - say introduce the conflict and the antagonist - it might work to introduce the protagonist later. People will say it probably won't work. But a writer makes their story work despite the warnings.

All I can say for sure is that people generally decide whether they like the movie or not within the first 10 minutes. So if it's compelling, it might work out.

I think that as long as the first 10 minutes are fast paced and upbeat, so that anyone watching it won't be twiddling their fingers and impatient waiting for something to happen, then I think it's okay, I think it would be better to have a bit too much that can be edited during post production, scenes can always be mixed at that point, I think it's better to have a bit too much, or for a screenplay to be slightly too long, than not have enough and then not have anything to work with later.

So in my newest draft of the script, the opening scene was cut down to just 2 pages. It was actually one of Doug's comments that sparked an idea, so I ran with it. Now within the 1st 11 pages, there is 13 scenes, so don't worry Bill, it's right on par with Star Wars, (well in my world anyways). It was never meant to be a long slow burner script, so things had to be tighten up. Hopefully I've got that, for this Sci-Fi Action. For breaking it down, it came down to what so many writer's say all the time, ever inch on that white paper is valuable real estate, every line of dialogue has to mean something, no filler, no throw away lines, no babbling. The first draft landed at 128, the current draft is at 108, should end up around 110 as I have a bigger ending I'm re writing. Well off to plan for all the merchandising, action toy's, video games, t-shirts, sequels, comic books, Comic Con panel speeches, oh wait, should finish this 3 draft first... Thanks all.

Erica - wow....I really have to hand it to you.....that is one great turnaround. Without having read the "before" and "after"...and assuming you "nailed it" in the re-write....that is what writing is all about. You faced a huge challenge and answered the call, and turned a negative into a positive. Problems can spur creativity, and you got extremely creative. Way to go. Treat yourself to something nice for completing that endeavor. One way I got better as a writer: asking myself the question "is this line absolutely essential to my story?" I have to do that for every single line. It takes a lot of time, no doubt, but it's important for me to have every line pass that test. I'm a slow and methodical writer/re-writer, and an even slower analyst, and can only do that type of review for like one page/scene per night - and especially if I'm re-writing in that analysis after having a brain-draining day at work. Good luck and happy writing, Erica!