Your Stage : Logline Advice. by Dean Steven Nichols

Ladies and Gentleman, Good morning from San Francisco. I just completed my first feature screenplay, and I am very happy with what I've accomplished, however, Loglines it is not my forte, and I am reaching out to you for some help. Here the treatment hopping for suggestions. Thank you. Elissa Ashlynn Harlow, a rational NY Police detective, investigates a murder. Though the crime, committed in a busy subway during rush hour, except a drunken homeless man who insists an Indian is the killer, and a mysterious feather in the victim’s mouth, she has no witnesses, and no suspects. With no leads, she talks to her friend Mike Johnson, homicide detective and close friend. Mike convinces her to consult a psychic, who has cooperated with him in the past. The detective, though never believed in the paranormal, visits the psychic, and learns that the murder could be the result of a 350 year-old curse of the Chief Quanah Aucaman, the last chief of the Munsee Indians. She questions the psychic, how does she know so much, and if there is a way to stop the curse. The psychic reveals that the secret of stopping the curse is written on the last page of the medicine man’s book, but no one has seen the book for the last 350 years. Elissa begins researching and with the help of Mike, the Indian reservation, and a retired cemetery groundskeeper finds the medicine man’s grave. The psychic, a Native American Indian middle-aged woman named Nayeli Moema, tell her that a sacred ceremonial dance must be performed first, by a male who can see the spirit, or, the curse will kill them. Mike suggests the homeless man who had claimed that the Indian kill him, he could perhaps have seen the spirit. With NYPD’S help, find the homeless in an alley nearly dead. Nayeli tells her that, the opening ceremony can only take place the night of the ninth full moon. After his recovery, with only a few days of the full moon, Nayeli teaches him the dance. On the night of the full moon, Elissa, with Nayeli, Mike, and four members of the Indian reservation gathered at the cemetery. The homeless performed the dance; the spirit of the Medicine man appeared and gave her the book. Nayeli tells her that, if she can read the book, she could be the next victim, and that she cannot flip to the last page, she has to read the entire book. The book will only let her read a few pages a day, and ones she turns the page, she cannot go back because the writing will appear blank. Knowing that she can be the next victim, she begins reading the book. The book challenges her, and the text disappears. With Mike’s help, she realizes that the book wants her to redeem the chief’s honor, and until then she will not let her read further. She files a petition to build a replica of the village in its original location. After several petitions and denials and with the help of the Indian reservation and media, the city grants her request. However, the book challenges her again to move the remains of the chief and his family to the village. After completing the relocation, and the village opens to the public Elissa quits her job and becomes an active advocate for American Indian rights.