Screenwriting : Bursting the bubble by Semira Chan

That's a tough one, but as a writer one must be able to take constructive criticism. Trust me, I've gotten some brutal reviews, but those were the ones that helped me the most. When I was a reader I always started out with the positive, even if all that was was formatting. Then I gently used terms like "maybe you should" or "perhaps consider" that seemed to soften the blow. :)

If someone would give me a feedback with "maybe" and "you should" I would ignore it because I don't have time for that. If someone asks me for feedback I tell the writer what I like and what I know for sure is wrong and give him/her examples where s/he can read about the issues and rules. I keep it professional and short and as impersonal as possible. I don't like critique that sounds like a compliment and then first of all I have to think about whether the feedback is this just said nice or meant nice or what. Give a feedback with facts and name the points in brief. Don't tell to much around what could should or would sound better. Bring it to the point and easy. Don't weasel around the points you want to say. Give it clear and best in a list with which the screenwriter can work through his/her mistakes and become better and give hints where s/he can learn more about the craft so that it's clear it's not personal critique, but professional and constructive feedback. The one who asks you for help and feedback wants to improve his work, wants to get better as soon as possible and not guess what might have been meant.

The thing is he didn't ask for feedback - he wants to make this script into a short film and I asked to read the script. But I don't want him to make something so completely mediocre when I know he's capable of better.

"Bursting the bubble", indeed. Usually is difficult for a writer to ask for an opinion, but we must understand that it is a very important piece in the job. So, if you were asked for yours, don't be shy, say it all. If you give only compliments or if you don't tell what you think, at the end is worst for her/him.

Let the Writer figure it during production and postproduction. You gave your feedback. Move on. It s great learning experience for the Writer- hands on filmmaking. He/She will be a better Writer after. It s a short film, there s no huge risk, it s just Time and a little money spent

He didn't ask for your feedback so keep your opinion to yourself. If you don't want to make the short film then don't make it.

Mixing business and pleasure is a slippery slope at times. You and your close friend have to realize "it's business." when it's business, and "it's pleasure" when it's pleasure. You have to put on your business hat when you have the discussion with him regarding his script, and can't let close friendships sway your business decisions. I've seen too many people get screwed over the years because they didn't do that. It's your choice, and if you've never been in that situation before...well, that's the situation you're in now....and you have to deal with it appropriately. Business is business, and you have to put your business hat on in a situation like this. It's never easy to give a close friend bad news like that, but....he needs to hear it, and hopefully it will make him a better writer and business person, too. Hopefully he is adult enough and aware enough to grok what you have to tell him, and after he sulks for a while and licks his wounds....he'll get it and do what he has to do to become a better writer. And it's your ethical responsibility, too.....to tell him the truth....righteous business person that you are.....you know? Don't let emotional attachments get in the way of intellectual reasoning and decisions. Good luck, Semira....you can do it.

The secret to being the perfect close friend here is to prepare yourself like this: you look for what you like in the story and then have that on your tongue while giving your feedback. You find yourself sounding inspirational and can talk for an hour, saying things like "you can shoot this" and "if this is what you're going for" and after a while you say "but if you want it to be really great". Then you give the tips that would save the movie.

Bill, it is only her ethical responsibility to tell him the truth if he asks.

Thank you all - we went through film school together so it's a bit tough to critique someone that close. But I made some suggestions that will hopefully make it a bit better and they were well received. Haven't worked up to the dialogue yet though

To me it sounded as if you were asked for feedback, but now I agree to Dan. If you're not asked to give a feedback it's not your business and as Bill said - put your business hat on and in this case move on. Especially if you already know the result of your collaboration won't be good.

Ms. Chan: You can lead off with something positive like "good job formatting." There's no need to be brutal. Just break it down from the technical aspects as to why you think they're not on par with William Goldman. Things like inciting incident, protag, antag, conflict, tone, dialogue too much narrative, too little narrative. I do it all the time. In fact, I have to do it today for a project someone wanted me to polish. Best of luck.

<< The one who asks you for help and feedback wants to improve his work, wants to get better as soon as possible and not guess what might have been meant. >> I like your point, Elisabeth!

Thank you, Tad.

Dan: I'd imagine that somewhere in that conversation that led to Semira getting his script....there was a shared dialogue about some degree of feedback. Isn't that the way those types of conversations go - like "let me know what you think, okay? Okay." Is that right, in this case, Semira?

Encourage him to get more feedback, from people he doesn't know.

Bill: We agreed to make two short films together around a certain theme, where he wrote one script and I wrote another to compare our writing approaches to the theme. So I guess the feedback aspect was understood, especially with how we tend to work with each other anyways. But it wasn't outrightly stated "tell me what you think". Having worked with each other for 4 years now - it's kind of second nature to give feedback at this point. Sorry, I should've explained this point from the get go. But all is well - he agreed with what I had to say. I do like many of your approaches to giving difficult feedback and shall adopt some of those practices myself :)

Bill. She said earlier that he didn't ask for feedback so that is all I knew at the time I responded. I don't want feedback so I never ask for it. Now she explained it I would have offered a different opinion. I never ask for feedback nor do i give feedback so I don't find myself in these kind of a situations.

There's no need to say anything. They will realise on their own or not, but they won't blame you for being honest with your thoughts. Let them find out the hard way.

Be honest, I've had to do this a few times. Being honest with them will help them more in the long run. And if they want to pursue a career in writing/film-making they will need to know how to take unfavorable criticism. So they either hear it from you now or someone else later.

You tell them exactly what is wrong in detail. "It stinks" doesn't help them, but explaining why a specific thing doesn't work will help them fix that thing (and help you by identifying exactly why something doesn't work).

My neighbor B. asked me to read her script; B. had spent $$$ on screenwriting classes, flew to Hollywood to pitch, etc. B.'s script was awful. Spent 3 hours writing notes. THEN B. said, "All the people in my writing class said the same things." Now I ask, "Who else has read it? And what did they say?" Saves so much time!

Semira, please take a look at the posting in the Lounge by Regina Lee two days ago. She better explains the reasons behind my comment. :)

Owen Mowatt is so very right here. Reading the first 10 pages is enough of a favor!!!

I guess there is no getting around it. You just have to tell them that this one script isn't very good. But also remind them that this one script isn't good. It does not mean the others are bad and that the next one they write isn't bad. Just this time they didn't do a good job. You really can't sugar coat it if you feel this one script isn't very good.

If you know it sucks, you can point out reasons it sucks. The characters don't make sense? The plot seems unrealistic? The writing isn't tight? The dialogue doesn't seem natural? All of the above? Tell them it's boring/unrealistic/whatever you think makes it worthless, and start somewhere. Give them somewhere to go. If all you can say is that it sucks, then you suck as much as the script allegedly sucks.

Just say "Wow you wrote a complete script! Now try again."

Tamim: Seriously . . . .?

Explain why each element isn't good.