What we read on the page is what we would expect to see and hear on the screen. Pretty simple, right?
Sadly, not every writer gets it. As a result, some feel they have to explain what it is we're seeing and hearing. Too many times I'll read a spec script where a character does something, followed by WHY they're doing it, or WHAT IT REALLY MEANS.
Maybe they think their writing isn't getting the point across, so they feel the need to throw this additional info in - just to make sure you're really getting it? It's a practice I highly recommend not doing.
Imagine you're reading your own script. How would you feel if there was a stop in the action to explain what just happened?
My initial thought is that this is how it's done in books, so the writer figures they should do the same thing for a script. But I'd say that would have the opposite effect.
By laying everything out in front of us, the writer is doing themselves a disservice by not having faith in the intelligence of the reader/audience. They want your story to entertain them. People actually enjoy being able to figure stuff out and reaching their own conclusions.
Which do you think would be more effective and memorable? A script that spoon-feeds you everything, or one that makes you think and challenges you to pay attention?
Another part of this is when the writer includes WHAT A CHARACTER IS THINKING, to which I always ask "How do we know that?" Film's a visual medium, so we can't see what's going on in their head (unless some kind of scene showing exactly that is actually part of the story).
One of the many jobs of the screenwriter is to show the character's thoughts via their actions and words (or lack thereof).
(Please note the key word in that sentence - show. As in "Show, don't tell." Three little words every screenwriter should constantly heed. Make a sign of it and keep it near your designated writing area.)
I'd much rather reach these kinds of conclusions on my own through how the story's told instead of the writer adding it into the mix. Including the WHY, WHAT IT REALLY MEANS or WHAT THEY'RE THINKING will highlight your abilities, but not the way you want.
Doing this is counteracting how a script should read, interrupts the flow of the story, and just comes across as lazy writing. You want to have every word on the page be there for a reason. Why have something there that doesn't need to be?
A great piece of advice that's always stuck with me is "Imagine the sound went out while you were watching the movie of your script. Would you still be able to follow the story?" I'd say yes, to a certain degree. While I may not have all of the specific story details, I'd definitely have a strong sense of what was going on based on what I see the characters doing and how they're doing it.
Two suggestions to see this in practice:
-read scripts. Focus on the storytelling. Pay attention to what's on the page (and what isn't).
-watch silent movies. Take note of how the actors convey emotion through their actions, gestures, and expressions.
You want your reader and audience to enjoy watching your story unfold as much as you enjoyed writing it. Believe me, they'll be able to tell.
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Great advice, Paul. I always believe that we must care for our story and characters so that our audience /readers have a chance at caring too. Grateful to you for taking the time.
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I read a script that had a character walk past a factory that, "is eco-friendly and changes carbon-dioxide into water and recycles the waste," as if the director is going to shove the camera inside and have a technician explain this to the audience, pull back out and show the character continue her walk!
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Paul - pretty much right on - hope the newbies understand - thanx.
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I read a script just the way you noted how it shouldn't be written. Everything was explained, more like a novel than a script. What upset me most about this was that script has won several screenwriting competitions. Makes me want to rip my hair out.
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Yeah, it's a substitution for poor writing. As soon as they learn how to overcome that, they'll become a better writer. It's what I try to teach in my notes.
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I agree with Francisco and for the record I was one of them that refused to do it. I hated the way my screenplays read when I wrote economically so I figured I could get away with it. I didn't get away with it so I finally gave in and that is when stuff started happening for the better.
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Good stuff, Paul, 1000 thank you's.