Yeah, so long time since I have posted here. I am writing a tv pilot and have a character developing mind reading skills and she's having a conversation with a character who is pretending to like her. During the conversation my protag hears some startling thoughts as if they were said out loud. She's unaware she has this ability and it's the first real experience. I've had some ppl read the script and some understood that this was happening and some didn't. So I'm trying to find a clearer way to write the dialogue where some is said out loud and some is not, but my protag still hears it out loud. Gosh this is a long set-up, sorry. Hope I am clear. I can't find examples any where of how other ppl wrote this type of scenario. I'd love suggestions. Thanks.
Screenwriting : Mind reading dialogue. by Cherie Grant
Mind reading dialogue.
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You could try having her read minds earlier but only glimpses
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I've never seen the movie, but isn't there mind reading in, I think it was called, What Women Want? You could try to track down that script to see how the writer handled it. (Or another script, though I can't think of another one off hand).
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Perhaps make it clear in the action that your character is hearing voices in her head that seem to be coming from others or however you set it up. Then in dialogue put whatever is being said within someone's mind that is being heard by your character in italic and use (V.O.) You could also use a parenthetical (telepathically) or (heard thoughts) if needed. Then if switching back and forth between heard thoughts and talking within the same dialogue (talking). So... thoughts in italic with (V.O.) and talking is formatted per usual. Hope that helps!
Oh, just for an example... in X-men, when Xavier and Jean are "talking" to each other telepathically, (V.O.) is used and the dialogue is in italic. Sometimes a parenthetical is used. From the script:
XAVIER (V.O.)
(Projecting his thoughts)
Jean... can you hear me?
EXT. X-MANSION FRONT DOOR - NIGHT
Beast, Cyclops and Jean Grey are fanning out across the drive when Jean turns her head, responding to Xavier, also projecting.
JEAN GREY (V.O.)
I'm here, Professor.
Again, hope that helps!
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I would do it the way they did it in the script for What Women Want, referenced by Julie above. Every time Nick was hearing a woman's thoughts, the words HER THOUGHTS were under her name, like this:
STELLA
(HER THOUGHTS)
One day I'd like to sleep until eight o'clock.
No double-space between "STELLA" and "(HER THOUGHTS)" - that's the way it formats in the Stage32 response. If someone is projecting their thoughts, Beth's example would be more appropriate. But if someone is thinking to them self, and unaware that someone else is hearing their thoughts, this way is more appropriate.
Best of luck to you, Cherie!
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The Screenwriters Bible by David Trottier. Otherwise go with what BETH said and since DAN agreed that it the way to go.
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Per the What Women Want example, I would still suggest using (V.O.) and use italic for heard thoughts in dialogue, which is why I used the X-men example. Plus it’s just what I had available to me to show as a format example. Lol! I would also suggest being consistent. Your reader would quickly understand that (V.O.) dialogue in italic is thoughts that are heard. And dialogue, per usual, in regular courier is spoken dialogue. You probably could drop the parenthetical once it is clearly noted and shown. Of course, it depends on clarity in any given scene. Best to you! ;)
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Ok, thanks guys. Your suggestions re format and script examples are really helpful. I'll go have a look at X-men, although I think I might go Beth's suggestion anyway. That seems clear enough for a reader. Much appreciate your time to reply. ps: Ryan, this is the early glimpses. The very beginning hence why my character is unaware that she's reading thoughts. Thanks.
Cherie, I'm actually a magician & mindreader and would love to help. https://millionairesmentalist.com/
If you feel iitalics aren't strong enough for the reader.You could put the mind reading dialogue in a different colour.Greta Gerwig did this in her Little Women script for different reasons but I think it would work.
I just copy stuff from other successful screenplays....last one I had flashback scenes in italic, saw that in a "A perfect getaway" script I think...
Write it as the audience will experience it in the final piece. If she feels something that isn't said, make it clear in the script. This can be used by the director to decide how to best demonstrate this.
You could put after character names (Her Thoughts) or (Their Thoughts) or (His Thoughts) etc. As in, if your character hears, say, Staci thinking, instead of STACI (V.O.) write STACI (HER THOUGHTS). I just took a look at the script for WHAT WOMEN WANT and it handled mind reading in this way. Upon a quick glance this method seems clear. Couldn't find the script for WHAT MEN WANT but it'd be interesting to see how they did it, too. https://secureservercdn.net/198.71.233.96/p2z.144.myftpupload.com/pdf/Wh...