Hope this is the correct Lounge for this post.
We spec writers are constantly reminded to avoid On The Nose dialog. The best way to do that is to read exceptional scripts that have exceptional dialog. I'm currently reading 'On the Basis of Sex' by Daniel Stiepleman. On Page 46 is an example of dialog that could well have been reduced to classic OTN but the writer demonstrated his skill. The protagonist, lawyer Ruth Bader, had to struggle in her early years in a male dominated profession. Now, years later and a fierce advocate for equal rights and combatting all forms of discrimination, she has taken up a cause initially promoted by her husband Martin. In New York, she's about to catch a taxi to the airport to fly to Denver to meet the plaintiff, denied tax assistance from the Fed Govt to act as carer of his aged mother - on the basis that only women are considered eligible for this role and consequently eligible for assistance. Point being, the plaintiff is a 60 year old male, Charles Moritz. As the taxi pulls away, her young son James asks of his father:
JAMES
Daddy. Why's mommy going to Denver?
MARTIN
She's climbing a mountain.
This dialog blew me away and my suspicions, on first beginning to read, that this was going to be a great script were justified.
Imagine what a lesser writer might have written.
Jeffrey Paul McMahon Imagine what a lesser writer can and could rise to.
With all due respect sir, no one writer is 'better' than another. Just because they are not as skilled at this writer or as experienced, does not make them 'lesser'. Every writer has the potential to achieve some greatness with their work. They may never reach the hall of fame or they might, but the real difference comes down to who is willing to strive to be better compared to who is not.
Writing is no simple skill, Furthermore, dialogue tends to be the hardest to write. As a novelist, it took me a few years to break away from the corny/cheesy lines and banter and get into something that was more realistic to the characters. Not everyone has a talent for it and others take longer to learn it than the rest of us.
Granted, it is also true that a majority of writers, new writers, don't strive enough to see their work grow beyond its early stages. Others are too self absorbed in thinking their work is the greatest there ever was to see the flaws. -shrugs- Their loss.
Point it, please don't call the rest of us 'lesser writers' just because our kills in something are not as well done as that of this script or any other. That is not fair to the community and its simply rude. No one here is better than anyone else, nor will they ever be. No mater what title or praise one might receive, we are all writers at the end of the day and the only difference between us is the determination to do the best we can. Props to the writer of this script for their work. They did an exelent job, I agree.
I take your point - perhaps I should have used "less skilled" – I'm sure there are some writers more skilled than others. But I seriously think you're making a mountain out of a mole-hill.
Yes, I’m really looking forward to seeing On the Basis Of Sex and reading the script—thanks for sharing a snippet, Jeffrey. Much appreciated. That little exchange between father and son is a great example of subtext. Great use of subtext is good, solid writing. Me, I’d much rather talk objectively about good writing versus bad writing and discuss how to use writing tools effectively. Keep it about the writing and not turn it against any writer no matter their level. ;)
Jeffrey Paul McMahon I am not here to start a fight. But honestly, when you start to talk or speak like someone is beneath another, the message comes off as negative and is often then as a message that this person can not be reached or surpassed in skill. Which, I am sure we both can agree is not the case. Its a matter of respect. I mean no insult, and I have no intention of arguing, but I still stand by what I said. Better safe than sorry. It's not worth risking conveying a message one does not intend to convey. ||
Past that, I agree fully with what you said. Its like trying to imagine someone other than Peter Jackson directing the Lord of the Rings. And if memory serves me right, he had a hand in the script to some degree too. These are the writers and other people in the industry we should all look up to and try to surpass. Writing itself is a life long lesson. Even after 14 years there is still much I do not know. But hay, I digress. I don't want to go on a rant about this lol. No hard feelings mate. I apologize if I came off as aggressive, but I admit at the time, I felt the message you wrote was also aggressive and to some degree, an insult to our fellow writers.
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Beth Fox Heisinger Christine Capone Your faces almost look exactly the same.....xD
Except that yours has slightly darker hair Christine Capone
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Well that’s a compliment!
Haha! Wow! You think? Ah, shucks. Thanks. However, I think the compliment is mine! ;)
Yes, I do! but you have way better eyes and eyebrows!! : )
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Christine: You have very nice eyebrows and anyone who loves Labs is okay in my book.
Aw thx Phillip! And yes, Labs are the best! They're so smart.
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Christine: I love labs. They're great companions and very rarely employ on the nose dialogue. On the nose kisses are their method.
Phillip...haha yes!
That is a great line. Nice choice, Jeffrey.
When you think about her history of accomplishments, there could probably be like a dozen different films about Ruth Bader Ginsburg. May the heavens continue to bless her - get well soon. RBG!
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Christopher et al, I'm convinced you all misconstrued the intention of my comment; simple as that. The term "lesser writer' does't in any way denigrate any individual writer. I know for sure that I am a lesser writer than say Ring Lardner, William Golman, Robert Towne etc but I am certainly not going to consider myself a lesser human being - more to the point, I am constantly striving to reach their level of skill and expertise, to be 'better at' rather than 'better than'.