Hello y'all, hope everyone is okay !
I have a little question for you, so I've been writing my first feature script and I had my first proofreading (i'm French and my english is not perfect). Then, I had a coverage to see where to stand on my story and writing. I am now on the end of the rewriting and I was wondering if I could directly send it to a coverage service without making a proofreading yet, because it cost a bit of money. Especially if I have to rewrite it for a third time and even more, on the long run, it could be quite expansive.
If this is the only solution, I'll proceed this way but If I can get your opinion it would be great!
Wish you all the best,
Thomas
Is it the same script and version that's on your loglines page?
Hi there Pierre Langenegger , I just put the last version now, the script it's called "Doudou".
Hey Thomas. I'm a proofreader and editor so wanted to see what you have.
I had already read two pages of the earlier draft before you replaced it and I assume the earlier draft was the one that was proofread? I’m seeing some issues here and there with the newer draft. Though not Earth-shattering, they are noticeable, although, in my opinion, they don’t detract from the story as I’m finding it quite enjoyable and engaging so far. I don’t use coverage services so I’m not sure if they will rule against you for this or not, but in my opinion, I wouldn’t worry what a coverage service says as they are just paid feedback and are not really in a position to promote this script for you.
My recommendation is to make sure it’s as clean as possible before you put it out there, and by that, I mean before you put it into a competition or try to seek representation.
One thing that really needs to be fixed though - The last sentence in the first line of dialogue is action and therefore needs to be removed from the Adult Woman’s dialogue and repositioned before the second slugline.
Also, and please don’t take this the wrong way and also bear in mind that I only read two pages of the earlier draft, but I felt the earlier draft had a more magical feel to it. I felt the same two pages in the newer draft were lacking in that respect. I don’t know if this was reflected through the entire story or not but I enjoyed the two pages of the first draft, so much more.
Hey Pierre, thank you very much for your feedback and your time to look at a couple of pages and for your opinion. I fixed the last sentence just like you say, thank you for that! The first version that you've seen was indeed proofread.
This is what I was thinking too, I prefer to use again a coverage service to be sure of the structure and to see if there is no gap in the story itself before having the final proofread version ready to go.
I take all the advices that I can have and I consider your words about the magic of the beginning of the story. Thank you again Pierre!
No problems, Thomas, and if you're looking for another proofreader/editor in the future, I'll be happy to discuss it with you. Feel free to check out my profile page as well.
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I read it. It was very good!! It needs some revisions. But not much.
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Scanned the entire script, and agree that it's very good. I would disagree, this needs polish not proofing. It's a tough read that's sometimes hard to understand.
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Yes ,Tony, most of the time it is only replacing a few words, but sometimes the construction of the sentences is wrong.
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Yeah. It's in the script's dialect. Substitution is polish. Proof is simple correction.