FREEBASING HYGIENE
DECEMBER 15, 2020 BY STEPHEN THOMPSON
ZERO GRAVITY (Random Scene)
Written by
Stephen C. Thompson
Fade in:
INT. SPACECRAFT ATLAS GREENHOUSE – DAY
Jamie is standing squeezing water out of a thick piece of cotton into a little spray can. It is a juggling act butJamie sings, dances, and talks to his plants while covering them with a fine mist. Jamie’s Motown is turned up.
JAMIE: Hey baby, you’re growing up. Uh oh, keep your leaves to yourself. We don’t want any cross-pollination.Come on baby, “I’ll be there.”
Suddenly there is a rhythmic secession of knocks on the wall.
Jamie lowers the music and knocks back. It’s code…He cracks open a secret door.
BERKLEY: I’ve come to see the old lady.
JAMIE: Shh, keep it down! What have you got?
BERKLEY: I’ve got the money from the sales of “nasty woman.”
JAMIE: How are sales?
BERKLEY: On the street, she should be going for fifty dollars an eight but I’ve been having to sell her a five percent discount.
JAMIE: That’s not what we agreed on.
BERKLEY: She’s not selling as well. Personally, I believe that she is a superior product but people will pay double for the masculine sounding weed.
JAMIE: Just keep things as we agreed. I swear if you’re ripping me off…
Berkley hands over a wad of cash.
JAMIE (CONT’D): Did you bring me the other thing Iasked for?
BERKLEY: Yeah, here you go.
Berkley holds up a bag of Chinese takeout.
Suddenly there is a shuffling in the corridor outside of the greenhouse.
JAMIE: Shit got to go!
Jamie hurriedly shuts the secret door. He ducks down behind some plants. The door opens.Nance, AJ, Amy, and Howard burst in.
NANCE: Where is he?
AMY: I saw him come in here.
AJ: Look, the music is still playing.
HOWARD: Let’s find him and kick his ass.
NANCE: I got a better idea, let’s make us a salad!
Jamie stands up to protect his babies.
NANCE: I knew that would smoke you out of your hole.
JAMIE: Okay, okay! Don’t touch my plants.What do you want?
AMY: Wait! What is that?
NANCE: What?
Amy walks up to Jamie to smell his breath.
AMY: I smell Chinese takeout.
AJ: I would give my liver for a wonton.
HOWARD: How would Jamie get Chinese food out here? But when we were in the Gulf…
NANCE: Can it! Christ, you can’t be an expert on everything.
JAMIE: What do you want?
AMY: We know it was you, farm boy. Fess up!
JAMIE: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
NANCE: Ya, you do. Where are they?
JAMIE: Where is what?
AJ: The moon tape!
HOWARD: Moon tape?
AJ: The jam rags.
HOWARD: Jam rags?
NANCE: The pads.
JAMIE: Huh?
HOWARD: Look, the girls need their feminine supplies.
Jamie is still confused.
NANCE: Do we have to draw you a picture?
The sanitary napkins! Cough 'em up!
JAMIE: Why would I have those?
NANCE: AJ told us that you’re using them to recycle the excess water from your plants.
AMY: Yeah!
AJ: Sorry man
JAMIE: No, I’m not. Amy pokes at Jamie with a pipe she has brought along for soft persuasion and then points at one of his plants.
NANCE: Don’t piss us off. We will kick your ass.
AMY: Turn it over or I will.
Jamie lifts up a plant to reveal a white cotton pad stuck to the bottom of a flowerpot.
NANCE: We will be taking all of the unused ones.
JAMIE: Okay…I know why you two are pissed but why are the boys here?
NANCE: For moral support
AMY: Unlike you, they have respect for our wombs.
NANCE: Yeah, power to the puss.
Nance and Amy raise their fist.
Jamie throws a bag of large cotton balls in the air and Howard catches it. Amy gets in Jamie’s face.
NANCE (CONT’D): The day of subservient women is at an end. We demand equality and if we catch you stealing from us again we’ll make you wish…
AMY: Howard, what do we got?
HOWARD: I’m not for sure.
AMY: What? Howard throws the bag to Amy.
NANCE: Amy, what have we got?
Amy peaks into the bag.
AMY: This can’t be right.
Nance grabs the bag.
NANCE: What are these?
JAMIE: That’s all I have.
AMY: We can’t use these. Can we? They’re so large.
HOWARD: Painful!
JAMIE: Can I have my supplies back?
NANCE: No, we need them more than you.
AMY: I can’t sit on this for a week. I’ll have a backache.
NANCE: Buck up solider, we might not have a choice.
AMY: A man bought these, no one would do this to a person of the same sex.
AJ: Sorry, Jamie, they made us.
HOWARD: When the Mercury astronauts…
NANCE: This isn’t about them.
The whole team backs out of the room like their badasses.
Jamie starts to step forward. Amy points the pipe.
AMY: Don’t even think about it.
When Jamie is alone, he walks over and opens the secret door. Berkley hands in the fast food.
JAMIE: Next time could you bring me some of those…
BERKLEY: Jam rags.
JAMIE: Exactly! Only not so big, I want to do something nice for the girls.
Jamie looks into the fast-food bag.
JAMIE (CONT’D): Wontons, go figure.
Fade out
1 person likes this
Women are fading little wallflowers.
I would have to see finished product to make a true assessment.
1 person likes this
I'd be interested to see how many other people chime in on this and what the balance of views are as to offensive or not. I personally don't find it offensive and quite a unique/creative way of making use of that particular product in the environment of your characters where resources are clearly scarce. Main thing I would say is that I'd just keep writing and not worry too much about offence, you're not writing anything outright garish and to be honest it's very rare when something doesn't offend someone in the world as we all have our own views and opinions.
2 people like this
My two cents: Not offensive, but rather eye-rolling. Meh. Tired. Lame. Sorry, I don't find it funny or whatever the intent is here. The "joke" or "comedy sketch" lands flat. Again, sorry, it's just my personal opinion. But it clearly seems written with an uninformed male perspective on such menstruation matters. 'Cause even isolated in space, this doesn't make much sense.
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Yeah, Julia, agree, it's not believable. As I said, this doesn't make much sense.
1 person likes this
Hey Stephen, I have to agree with Beth. I don't get it, what are you trying to say in the scene. I'm thinking its about weed, are they in space or what?
The Astrnoughts are part of a psychological study. Everyone thinks that they are in a spaceship headed for Mars except for Jamie who knows the truth. Jamie, still continuing to run his weed selling business from the Greenhouse Simulator, holds all the power. In this scene, Jamie gets Chinese takeout while the other people have to fight for the basic necessities like feminine hygiene products. It is meant to draw a separation of power between men and women where in the end the man still has the power. "Because I want to do something nice for the girls." What the girls get in return is something that can't possibly be what they seak but is forced to take what is given.
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I'm offended by the formatting.
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Thanks for adding more story context, Stephen, but I'm still struggling here. So... using gender biology—menstruation which women do not have a choice—against the "girls" as a power play for a man is, sorry, sexist/misogynistic. Perhaps the character is a sexist? And that's the point? Otherwise... why? This withholding of feminine hygiene products is a strange choice. The underlining power-play reason for this very specific withholding against only the "girls" could be offensive. Perhaps that's why you posted to test this out? But again, maybe that's the point? It's part of the setup for whatever happens next or part of an overall theme about behavior or biases. Have you read real-life psychological studies? Pretty interesting stuff. Anyway, I agree with others about the way the characters speak and the lack of terminology and sense of rank. If these characters are astronauts then wouldn't they act and speak differently? My personal opinion aside about the scene, I do wish you the best with your script and all your creative endeavors. Best to you, Stephen!
Sometimes it sounds better in your head! Thanks everyone for your feedback.
https://lafeedbackfilmfestival.com/2021/01/27/la-festival-best-scene-reading-zero-gravity-by-stephen-thompson/