Screenwriting : Seeking Logline Critique by Yolande Frances

Yolande Frances

Seeking Logline Critique

Well hello there all, 

I'm new around these parts and excited to engage. I'm still pretty fresh to screenwriting, having written several shorts but now attempting my first feature. I'm told the logline is the best place to start (after I already have the outline almost done!) Edit: Strangely my first message was cut short, omitting my loglines. Thanks for all the warm welcomes! So here it is: The young head of a baby products empire is snapped out of sleeping walking through life by a near death experience that sends him chasing after thrills that threaten to unravel his wholesome life as he knows it.

Jimmy Kelly

I'd be happy to help!

Debbie Croysdale

Hi hit me up if you want to discuss any loglines.

Martin Reese

Welcome Yolande Frances. I'd like to invite you to checkout the Writers' Room where you can meet and network with fellow writers as well as learn more about the craft. I recommend that reach out Jason Mirch Director of Script Services (j.mirch@stage32.com) for more information about the Writers' Room and general script questions. He is extremely helpful.

Monica Mansy

Hi and welcome, Yolande Frances! I agree with Martin Reese! If you email Jason, you can request a free month of the Writers' Room and join us in working on pitches, script coverage, table reads, learning about the business and craft and so much more. Also, you can post your logline on your profile, which allows people to find, rate and give feedback on it. I would also check out the many free resources here on the Stage 32 platform: blogs, education, subscription to the emails and their IG Lives. Happy writing!

Yolande Frances

Hey all! Looks like my full message didn't send. I just edited it and added the logline. It was so difficult to capture the richness of the concept in such limited words but hopefully something translates. If not, it's always a learning opportunity. Would love your thoughts!

Jill A. Hargrave

Welcome Yolande to Stage 32. As you can see from some of the comments, we invite you to join us in the Writers Room. It allows you to Network face-to-face over Zoom webinars and we have become a close and supportive community for each other. As Martin mentioned, send Jason Mirch, Director of Script Services an e-mail at j.mirch@stage32.com. and he will gladly set you up for a one-month free subscription to the Writers Room. Jason can also give you guidance on script coverage, pitch sessions and educational workshops with professionals in the industry that may interest you.

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