Screenwriting : Logline help by Bryan Bordon

No problem. A tight logline includes only these elements:

- Intriguing protagonist

- Interesting situational change

- Unusual emerging threat or stakes relative to:

- Interesting antagonist (person or challenge)

Do it in 33 words or less, preferably a single sentence, no more than 3 clauses.

The logline of Hanna (the 2011 feature, not the 2019– series) adheres to the formula: A sixteen-year-old girl who was raised by her father to be the perfect assassin is dispatched on a mission across Europe, tracked by a ruthless intelligence agent and her operatives.

Intriguing protagonist: A sixteen-year-old girl, raised... to be the perfect assassin.

Interesting situational change: Dispatched on a mission

Unusual emerging threat/stakes relative to an interesting antagonist: Ruthless intelligence agent and her operatives.

It's better to be short and sweet than to have every possible thing included in the logline, imo.

I t should say who, what, when and where.

I’ll send you something.

Agree with Adam Jestin . Over-explanation is a logline killer in my opinion. Bare essentials only.

Honestly I think it depends on the show/movie, but yeah keep it as short as possible. One or two sentences. 30-50 words. Inciting incident + protagonist + goal + stakes. Maybe introduce antagonist if you can mesh it together with the stakes.

Hope it helps!

Thanks for the advice everyone.

Your welcome Bryan. Sign up for the Stage 32 Logline Contest to obtain professional feedback.

Rereading the logline to Hanna, I was struck by its similarity to that of a well-known movie:

Trapped in a sinister fairyland, a girl and her oddball companions set off on a perilous quest, hounded by the evil sorceress they’ve been sent to assassinate.

Bryan Bordon Steven Spielberg prefers loglines at a max of 25 words and I was taught 25 is ideal but never go past 30 as it is supposed to be a teaser to get a producer interested not a synopsis

Bryan Bordon I recommend this webinar by Christopher Lockhart. I found it so helpful I rewrote every logline I had! https://www.stage32.com/webinars/What-Makes-Your-Logline-Interesting-for...

Kacee I agree short is always best. Being about to say something meaningful in a few words shows a true mastery of language and knowledge of the story.

The only word I bump against is teaser. I don’t hold anything back. I tell them everything I can. That way they are in 100% or not. It is like disclosing your an escaped convict in the second date, you should lead with that. I am not a believer in “don’t share the ending” or “sell don’t tell”. If I tell the story well, they are sold in the story.

Guys, 'nuff talk...New Stage32 logline contest is on so let's walk the walk :)...dunno 'bout you but where I come from best thing to learn is through practice ;)

Here's advice from a professional writer:

"I’ll be honest. For loglines I mostly google loglines from successful series or films in the same tone and genre as what I'm writing and just reword them."

Dan M. That is good advice. I am just going to copy what they wrote and end it by saying "sort of."

Oh, it's an artform! We need a separate lounge devoted to just loglines! I use this formula : when a (cool adjective) HERO encounters (that's a terrible verb, use a better verb - like Nick/ Jason says it's the inciting incident), (cool adjective) ANTAGONIST, the (STAKES) (VERB) (HINT AT ACT TWO). does that make sense???? I've left out objective like Jason/Nick says. liek i said, it's an art form. Like everything else you get better with practice and a whole lot of feedback.