Introduce Yourself : Interview by Barry Smith

I once had an interview for the NHS to work on a paraplegic ward, for people with acute back pain. As I waited nervously outside in the corridor, I could pretty well hear the woman in before me, answering all the questions and also getting a lot of laughs. It sounded like she was getting on with the interviewers like a house on fire. 

When the super-professional turned out woman came out,  it was my turn. the three gravitas-loaded interviewers, one woman, two men, looked at me - I had long hair at the time, still have - I felt disapprovingly, as they fired away their opening salvo:. 'What is the first thing you say to a person with chronic back pain when you first meet them?'

Easy I thought, it's 'Are you sitting comfortably?' Apparently not. So I tried again: 'How are you feeling today?' Nope. Erm, 'Good afternoon?' Not that either. Several minutes later, and after a number of uncomfortable pauses I was still guessing. By the time the second question rolled around I kinda knew a career on the paraplegic ward was not for me. But I still had to sit through the rest of the thirty minute interview. 

And since then, when afflicted by dark nights of the soul, I've often asked myself 'What is the first thing you say to a person with chronic back pain when you first meet them?' Guess I'll never know. But now I do screenwriting, I don't really care. And it makes for good drama at least. .