Your Stage : Title, tagline, and logline – give me your thoughts, whether they're good or bad! by Ides Buysse

Hi! I like the ambiguity and the mystique of the concept, the logline conveys the sublimity well enough, but I think it's a bit too abstract, at least for a genre movie.

I can't exactly imagine any scenes from this movie in my head after reading this logline. Usually, a potential viewer should be able to see a kind of teaser trailer for the future film in their head.

"In the gripping historical horror" part, I think, can be removed completely, from the point of view of the narrative (no matter how short it is) it does not add anything, it's just some fluff. The "show don't tell" rule might apply here, you know. The viewer should realize it's a gripping historical horror from the context of the logline alone.

Also, for people not familiar with Elizabeth Bathory, the mere mention of her name won't mean anything at all. Ideally, again, they should realize who she is from the context of the narrative, but there is no such context present here, sadly.

In general, I think the logline is not self-contained enough and only works if one is already familiar with the historical context. It's up to you, of course, maybe you'll show this logline only to people familiar with the subject matter, but if you're aiming to attract a wider audience I think it's worth at least making it a bit less vague.

I hope I was clear enough and it didn't come off as one more angry rant, lol. That's what it usually looks like when there's so much text, haha. Again, I like the atmosphere set by the prose, I just think it could use a little bit more specificity so that it doesn't stray so much into the art-house territory.

In any case, wish you good fortune in every way!

Hi, Oleh Holyzov , I can see what you mean. I agree, I am actually counting on the fact that people are familiar with Elizabeth Bathory. At the very least, you have given me something to think about.