On Writing : Logline for project by Tracy Richardson Talent Agent

Tracy Richardson Talent Agent

Logline for project

Can you please give me some feedback on this logline and summary. HTTPs://www.stage32.com/loglines/55972

Marion Landan

You have a great hook for a screenplay, a story about residents who live in the NYC subway system. It would make a great thriller or detective thriller (with the theme of the constant subway noise contrasted against the abandoned tunnels of an unknown otherworld).

Do you have the rights to Patricia Richardson's story? Does she have the ability to consult on the rules of the community of NYC subway tunnel tunnels? Do you?

Such specialized knowledge, and even better, connections with those living in the subway tunnels and/or those running the transit system, are something to mention in a query letter..

Your logline is confusing as one doesn’t know who Patricia Richardson is. Is she the same person as the actress on Home Improvement or someone else? Make that clear in a query letter where you explain how you happened to write this story. You don’t need to mention Richardson in the logline. Just add Based on a True Story as a second sentence in your logline.

For example, “A female journalist, who grew up in a homeless shelter, fights to save the lives of two young men who live in the eerie otherworld of NYC’s abandoned subway tunnels. Based on a True Story.”

Really, if you have a good story and specialized knowledge, you could sell your screenplay idea even if you are a bad writer.

There is a ton of information on writing good loglines on the Internet for free. Just Google it.

Also, check out Screenplay.org. It has a writing contest for screenplays based on True Stories that closes February 29th. It offers the chance to meet with movie executives to pitch your idea. You really seem to have a good story (particularly if it is based closely on real events). There is also a fellowship contest where you will get individual training on your story..

Tracy Richardson Talent Agent

Great logline, do I need to have your consent to use it?

E Langley

On subways, there's a fascinating doc called "Dark Days" that explores the sub-culture living in the tunnels.

Ah, the subway. Oh, for those heady, hot days of summer when they reek of urine.

Marion Landan

Absolutely, I give consent for you to use my logline. You don't need to credit me.

I just noticed that you may be related to Patricia Richardson. If so, you would have the rights to her story if you're the daughter. She could also give you a handwritten statement signed by her. Or better, a typed statement signing over the rights where the signature is notarised. Google

"legal document life story rights"

You have all sorts of amateur errors in the way you are presenting your material. Those errors are fixable. Your actual idea is fantastic (particularly if you are the child of a woman who lived in the NYC tunnel system).

Have you made sure to copyright your screenplay with the United States Copyright Office. You must do this before you try to sell your screenplay. Go to "copyright.org." Hit the "Registration" tab in the upper right hand window. Pick "Performing Arts" as that is the section where you register a screenplay.

You can send in a copy of your screenplay draft just as it is now and get it copyrighted. That way there is a record that you had these ideas first. It doesn't matter if they are expressed badly. You can always copyright another version of your sceenplay under another title. In fact, give this version of your screenplay a movie title that you don't plan to use. Later, perhaps a year from now, copyright your new title and version of the screenplay.

Your screenplay can be registered online electronically for a small fee. You'll be emailed back a date on your receipt that you can use of proof that you came up with your movie idea first.

Tracy Richardson Talent Agent

I have just changed the logline and given you credit as a collaborative effort. This project was pitched here already, and I had similar responses from executives who help me with the summary rework. Preparing for my third pitch. The actual events are not based off a person but, rather situations and living conditions of homeless people and how they bare treated and sometimes discarded. I'm being careful with who I promote this body of work with and keeping track of it in addition to having bit copyright protected. Would love to collab with you on the pitch meeting and give you cowriting credit..

Marion Landan

I am not a professional screenwriter. My name means nothing in Hollywood. I also have not read your screenplay, nor do I have time to collaborate. However, you might be able to get a real professional writer to cowrite with you if you get the right producer interested in developing your idea. Was it your mother who works for the NYC transit authority? If so, bring her to the pitch session. If this story isn't based on a real person, you don't have any True Story rights to sell. However, if you or your mother has specialised knowledge about people who have lived for a generation in the NYC subway system, and real political corruption stories to tell about the NYC system, this has value.

Tracy Richardson Talent Agent

Thank you for the logline, your credit will remain and when we get an interested party, you will be compensated accordingly.

David Santo

In the heart of 1990s NYC, journalist Patricia Richardson, shaped by her own homeless upbringing, uncovers a sinister conspiracy while trying to rescue two extraordinary brothers living beneath the city, pitting her against a corrupt mayor and risking everything for justice.

Tracy Richardson Talent Agent

I would like to thank everybody that participated in this post. I will take your support and good spirit into the pitch meeting; everyone wishes me luck. I will keep this community informed as much as possible.

Maurice Vaughan

Hope the pitch meeting goes great, Tracy Richardson Talent Agent!

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