Screenwriting : Logline help, please by Vonnie Davis

It's a bit long. Try condensing it down by about half. Just put the meat of the story in there in the most creative way.

• I felt overwhelmed about halfway through the sentence. Heath is correct that it's too long. Focus on what makes your story unique and interesting. If it's still too long, your concept may need to be simplified. - The logine gives away the ending. - You list it as a comedy, but it sounds like a heavy drama. The logline itself doesn't need to be funny, but it should be easy to imagine a humorous film from it. Once you feel good about your logline, I would recommend submitting it to ScriptQuack for coverage. It's inexpensive and could be invaluable. I hope this helps. Best of luck to you.

Building off Anthony's idea. "A pregnant woman fakes being terminally ill to stop her divorce and win a baby contest."

Husband fakes being terminally pregnant in order to win a genetics grant...

To win a baby contest, a pregnant woman must divorce her reluctant husband who is faking a terminal illness.

The four in vitro baby's part sounds like raising Arizona in a way. How bout Pregnant woman hides the whole money contest thing, husband finds out ,she skips town maybe mexico, has her babys there ,now there mexican citizens, husband looks for her, finds her and BANG she whacks him in mexico,now she's wanted by the mexican cops, she can't cross the border because her kids are not u.s citizens so she finds away to skip mexico with her baby's , she has money but could she buy her freedom or find a way out.