THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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VISA
By Ngoe Brian Amate
After an ambitious Cameroonian is denied a visa to travel to the U.S. he kidnaps two American tourists to express his resentment.
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This sounds like a thrilling story, Ngoe Brian Amate, but I think your logline needs some work. Here's a logline suggestion: "After an ambitious Cameroonian man is denied a visa to travel to the U.S., he kidnaps two American tourists and ____________ (goal of story) so ________ (stakes).”
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Thank you, Vaughan. So much appreciated.