John Rachel's Reel

The perfect gift for everyone, even those who are hard to please and the ones who already have everything.

In an ill-conceived and ultimately failed attempt to boost sales on his book "Blinders Keepers", author John Rachel was caught trying to fake his own death. Hopefully the book is better than this moronic attempt to promote it.

I'm sorry the video of my fake death had no car chases or nice butt crack shots. I'm sorry there an island of plastic debris the size of Texas floating in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I'm sorry they banned the spitball. I'm sorry I stole the Stridex pads from Ralph's in Encino when acne was making my face look like cold pizza. I'm sorry I forgot to put down the toilet seat. I'm sorry you can't smile at a cute kid without his parents calling the pedophile police. I'm sorry about prisons...