SYNOPSIS:

After losing his shirt in pursuit of an ill-advised libel case controversial artist BRENDAN O’MALLEY declares from the steps of the High Court, Dublin that he will make it all back with his next project - provisionally entitled ‘Adam & Eve’. Fresh from his courtroom humiliation the artist takes delivery of the centrepiece for his Biblical composition – a snake purchased secretly from a dealer in exotic animals. Sadly Brendan doesn’t know his Slow Worms from his Black Mambas, and before you can say lethal neurotoxins, he succumbs to the venom of one of the world’s most deadly creatures. This leaves DERMOT MCCALL, fellow orphan and graduate of Belfast’s Holy Innocents’ Children’s home, with a bit of a problem. Hired by Brendan to convert his Dublin warehouse into a studio/home/eatery, he’s been toiling for months on the promise of a share in the completed restaurant. With nothing on paper Brendan’s death leaves him homeless, jobless and broke. Even so, when Dermot discovers his ‘business partner’ dead, he has every intention of reporting the incident to the police. Unfortunately the pregnant teenager hiding out in Brendan’s palatial bathroom has other plans. Undertaker’s assistant RACHEL JONES might look like a swollen waif but beneath her duffel coat beats a heart of pure Welsh slate. A timely fax rekindles her hopes of wringing some cash out of the artist, dead or no. If she plays her cards right her one-night stand with him on the Swansea to Cork ferry could yet pay dividends. Rachel’s unsuspecting saviour is EDDIE RYAN, no nonsense patriarch of the nouveau riche RYAN family. He’s desperate for an art collection. Everyone who’s anyone’s got one - the Gettys, the Guinnesses even Madonna. Not wishing to be outdone by the well endowed pop diva, he hires RUDOLPH PILKINGTON JONES, a minor Royal, to curate, gives him a multimillion euro budget and instructs him not to overdo it on ‘that Picasso bollocks’. PJ, as Eddie insists on calling him, decides to make his own mark on the art world by acquiring the notorious ‘Adam & Eve’ for the Ryan Collection. He hastily contacts GILES WILBERFORCE, Brendan’s smarmy art dealer – a deal is struck and the details faxed to the warehouse. Reviewing the lucrative offer, Rachel is upbeat about the death of her erstwhile lover. Brendan might have been on the verge of bankruptcy when he expired, but 1 million euros will top up his estate nicely, leaving their ‘lovechild’ a sizeable inheritance. As she explains to the hapless Dermot, all they have to do is delay the artist’s death for a few days while they complete and sell ‘Adam & Eve’. Needless to say there’s a hefty cheque in it for him. After 15 years of religious indoctrination Dermot is well aware that the original male/female duo caused their creator nothing but grief. He knows he should refuse. But Rachel knows things too – like all the right buttons to press: Think of her poor unborn baby. Think of all the orphans he could help with the money. And last but not least - Brendan owes him… Rachel’s cunning plan hasn’t of course anticipated the religious outrage of COSMO HERVEY, Brendan’s courtroom nemesis, or the doggedness of celebrity gossipmonger SARA ST JOHN or even the consequences of her own tangled love life in the shape of wannabe husband EWAN BOYCE. But ignorance is bliss, so despite overwhelming misgivings Dermot remains true to type and gives in to temptation. And that’s when the trouble really starts…