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By Raleigh Marcell

GENRE: Comedy

A man. A woman. An office.

The job interview everyone has feared might take place, taking place.


Jonathan Landry needs a job. Desperately. He's landed an interview with a prestigious company.

He sits across a desk from a frigid female Interviewer. At first, the questions seem merely irrelevant, even silly.

Besides, he has the company of himself to keep himself company: his voice: which offers him guidance and support. A voice unheard by the Interviewer. So he perseveres. He wants the job. His perseverance draws him deeper, however.

He comes to think that there is something else at work, possibly sinister.

Unknown to him, the Interviewer is being drawn, by her own companion voice, into recreations of life-changing moments which parallel the Interview. Revelations of neo-Nazi Nuns, wickedly deceptive faucets in public showers, and Papal Pants.

Even though he convinces himself that he should leave. He can't leave. Well of course he could, but that just isn't done. After all, these are just answers to questions. Increasingly relentless questions.

Need keeps him in place.

He is on a speeding train running through the middle of the Corporate Desert. His voice urges him to jump off! He can't. Instead, he must make simple human contact with his Interviewer and that will make things right.

But simple human contact is the last thing the Interviewer will allow. Instead, each is drawn into a vaudeville routine based upon his Blood Type. Contact is briefly achieved but as quickly suppressed.

QUESTION: Is there any thing, person, or idea without which you feel you could not continue as a viable and functioning member of the human race?

Jonathan is left alone in the middle of the Corporate Desert, standing before a Door, the only way out, on the other side of which is a Beautiful Oasis.

A sign on the Door reads: Beautiful Oasis: Do Not Enter on Penalty of Death.

ANSWER: . . . . toilet paper.


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Eric Paul Chapman

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