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By Martha Cinader Mims

GENRE: Comedy, Sci-fi
LOGLINE: A camp, science fiction drama about SpaceWoman, on a mission to Earth to find out what love means, and EarthWoman, a single mother who meets her in Central Park in New York City.

SYNOPSIS: SpaceWoman and Corporal Crunch are from the Green Planet of the Seven Sisters, a place where love and suffering do not exist. They travel to Earth on a mission to find out just exactly, matter of factly, what love means. While questing for answers, SpaceWoman meets a preacher, a beggar woman and a pimp. Ultimately she investigates EarthWoman and Cee Cee, a single mother and singer, and her daughter. That night, at EarthWoman¹s gig, both women become victims of love the moment they lay eyes on Tinkerbell. Corporal Crunch investigates Mistress Mona Love, a dominatrix working her way through college. Mistress Mona Love thinks that the Corporal is the Speaker of the House. The Corporal thinks she looks just like one of the Seven Sisters. Just when SpaceWoman learns her first love song, a hysterical woman with a gun sets off a series of events which cause EarthWoman to be transported to the Green Planet, and Cee Cee to get taken off to the Grinch Get Rich Orphanage. But Mistress Mona Love has already arrived on the Green Planet, impersonating the Sister of Compassion. Will EarthWoman and Cee Cee be reunited? Can the Janitor clean up the mess, or will he just continue to woo EarthWoman in rhyming couplets, now that he's discovered the word "love"? What does any of this have to do with the love test?


The Authentic Script mission of love Act 1 by Martha Cinader and Charlotte Taylor based on the original story by Martha Cinader copyright 1994-99 Martha Cinader and Charlotte Taylor Key: White=Stage Red=Sound Cues Blue=TV Green=Wall Projection Pink=Light Cues Characters in Order of Appearance SpaceWoman Corporal Crunch Goddess EarthWoman CeeCee Mistress Mona Love Speaker of the House Preacher BeggarWoman LandLord Miss Sprocket EarthWoman’s Agent CeeCee’s Father Pimp People Dancing in Nightclub Tinkerbelle Musician(s) EarthWoman’s Agent Producer Waiter Woman #1 Woman #2 Megaphone #1 Megaphone #2 Megaphone #3 Green Planet Citizens The Seven Sisters Janitor Act One, Scene One Entire room is a NEW YORK CITY STREET. TELEVISION (live) is projecting images of the audience back at the audience. EARTHWOMAN, CC sitting on PARK BENCH. The PREACHER, BEGGARWOMAN and the PIMP enter the room with the audience. Low-key street activity taking place. LIGHTS FADE. WALL (live) video of outer space window with SPACEWOMAN and CORPORAL CRUNCH inside. They are getting dressed for their mission, then dematerialize. City Sounds, MISSION OF LOVE THEME Starts. ENTER GODDESS. WALL (live), ENTER GODDESS GODDESS If you did not know love but wanted to, would you attempt to devise a love test? Could you distinguish what is false from true, and perform dutifully without rest? Fellow shipmates as we spin together ‘round a star beyond our reach in the sky in the universe of our creator, an invisible force shines from our eyes, something intangible, impractical, so delicately intoxicating, acapitalistic, suicidal: GODDESS (cont.) on this spot of Earth we call it loving. Those who seek love know not what they will find and those who know love have no peace of mind. EXIT GODDESS. WALL fades. Spotlight on EARTHWOMAN, CEECEE. TV (live) CORPORAL CRUNCH and SPACEWOMAN observe EARTHWOMAN and CEECEE. THEME fades very slowly from the following scene. CEECEE Mom, tell me the end of that story please? EARTHWOMAN What story? CEECEE The girl genius with knock-knees; You had just gotten to the real good part. EARTHWOMAN That was the end of the story sweetheart. CEECEE You mean she discovers she has powers vanishes her evil stupid teacher, finds an AIDS cure and no one believes her and that's it? EARTHWOMAN Her brother patents the goods and gets rich, she disappears in the woods and turns into a witch who watches over you when no one else believes what you can do. We better get going or I’ll be late. CEECEE I hope you’re going to keep your promise. EARTHWOMAN Tomorrow we’ll eat and go to a movie. CEECEE You always break your promises! You see! EARTHWOMAN There’s always something that I can’t foresee. CEECEE I know you like work more than you like me. EARTHWOMAN Now you know I don't really have any choice. Goddess gave me you, brains and a nice voice. If I don't work how will the rent get paid? CEECEE You get me from school, then you’re out of sight. You work all day, and then stay up all night. You will get sick. It’s not good for your heart. And you said you'd help me with my math chart. EARTHWOMAN It's a showcase for someone with money. My agent set it up. I can't miss it. CEECEE Shit. EARTHWOMAN You know you shouldn't talk like that honey. CEECEE I want to do something, just you and me just for once, a quiet night of TV, or you could tell me another story. EARTHWOMAN Sweetheart it's hard with just the two of us. Try not to spoil your own day with a fuss over things that we can't control anyway. If we both do our part, we'll get to play around on another day and everything will be melody and fine. CEECEE Yeah just fine. EARTHWOMAN Don’t forget I love you and you love me, whatever we do, wherever we be. Even if I watched from a distant star I’d still reside wherever you are. CEECEE Who’s going to help me with my homework? EARTHWOMAN You’re a smart girl. You can do your math right. I promise you I’ll be home by midnight. CEECEE Your promises are like all your stories. They never end the way they’re supposed to. EXIT EARTHWOMAN, CEECEE. SPACEWOMAN The specimen appears to know her child. CORPORAL CRUNCH How could love split her into two places? SPACEWOMAN It must be a very powerful force. I’m going to follow that specimen. CORPORAL CRUNCH Meet me back here at the moon’s fullest hour. CORPORAL CRUNCH, SPACEWOMAN EXIT TV. TV goes black. ENTER CORPORAL CRUNCH. CORPORAL CRUNCH (to audience members) Excuse me sir, I am on a mission Excuse me, would you answer some questions? Can you tell me something new about love? You don't seem to be in a big hurry. Have you ever loved someone or been loved by someone or have you tried to love someone or tried to get them to love you? No doubt your current situation was precipitated by an encounter. Love's a very dangerous force indeed. ENTER MISTRESS MONA LOVE with BAG, crosses stage, steps on Corporal Crunch’s toe and keeps walking. CORPORAL CRUNCH You have made a mark on my brand new shoes! MISTRESS MONA LOVE Some men love it when I step on their toes. CORPORAL CRUNCH What else do men love? MISTRESS MONA LOVE They love what they need. CORPORAL CRUNCH I need statistical data on love. MISTRESS MONA LOVE Information costs the same in the end. But you will have to make an appointment. (hands him a BUSINESS CARD) MISTRESS MONA LOVE turns pulls DOOR closed, which creates a room enclosing her and the TV. CORPORAL CRUNCH rings her BELL. TV (live) CORPORAL CRUNCH MISTRESS MONA LOVE Who is ringing my bell? CORPORAL CRUNCH I need assistance. WALL (taped) MONTAGE of MISTRESS MONA LOVE in DIFFERENT COSTUMES MISTRESS MONA LOVE What's your pleasure today? Femme? Butch? Red? Blonde? Let me see who we have available. Queen Mistress Dis, Mistress Gimme No Lip, Mistress Kitty with a Whip, Lil Miss Priss Mistress Mona Love, and her rubber glove. CORPORAL CRUNCH I’ll see Mistress Mona Love right now please. MISTRESS MONA LOVE You must wait for Mistress Love to see you. CORPORAL CRUNCH sits on edge of stage. MISTRESS MONA LOVE Switches channel on TV with KEYBOARD. TV (taped) SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE holds a press conference. As Mistress Mona Love watches she realizes that the man waiting outside looks the same as the man on TV. She begins to put on her costume. SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE If God didn't love America He would not have set us up as the country with all the power and the best TV and other people who look just like me from one shining sea to the other sea. SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE (cont.) Fellow Americans I am in love with my country and will save what I love from those who not only want to destroy family values, but force hard working honest people to support girls and boys bred in the basest sin, and born drinking from a whiskey bottle or addicted to drugs. They're stealing what they haven't earned. Unworthy parents should be convicted. Orphanages where board can be earned with honest hard work will teach those children how to be real, righteous Americans. TV cuts to commercial then slowly fades in audience. MISTRESS MONA LOVE Slave labor and love spoken of as one. Words with rubber gloves hidden in dove’s wings. Such a man needs his dose of twisted fun which pays for my tuition and such things. MISTRESS MONA LOVE pulls DOMINATION TOOLS out of bag. Lights fade on Mistress Mona Love and come up in the room. PREACHER stands on his SOAP BOX. ENTER EARTHWOMAN, followed by SPACEWOMAN. EARTHWOMAN passes by PREACHER and goes to PARK BENCH. SPACEWOMAN stops in front of PREACHER. PREACHER Thou should do other folks as they do you. Love is sometimes tough but is always true. We happy Christians know love is food. We reach down deep into our own souls and tune in messages sent straight from heaven, ENTER BEGGARWOMAN holding a BABY when unpleasant sights confront us smelling like the devil and making us grateful that we are not wretched, helpless, homeless! But friends there are among us wretched souls helpless because they do not know God's love, homeless because they don't know love's door opens when we knock heavy, and pray mightily! BEGGARWOMAN Excuse me father, could I interrupt? PREACHER May I help you with something my sister? BEGGAR WOMAN Why hasn’t God sent good food for our souls? PREACHER Here's directions to our charity kitchen. They will feed you and the child once a day. May I help you with something else sister? BEGGAR WOMAN Where is God’s shelter for my angry heart? PREACHER Here's directions to our charity shelter. They will provide both a cot and blanket. May I help you with something else sister? BEGGARWOMAN Where is God’s love for mother and daughter? PREACHER You're a pretty little girl, an angel who's hungry, here take a dollar fifty. BEGGAR WOMAN Is that all that you can give us father? PREACHER I can give you the kingdom of heaven! I can give you real and eternal love! SPACEWOMAN Just exactly and matter of factly Where is the kingdom of eternal love? PREACHER Here's a flyer for my lectures on love. I give personal guidance on Mondays. May I help you with something else sister? SPACEWOMAN No, maybe I'll come back for the lecture. BEGGARWOMAN takes some food off a table and sits on CURB. BEGGARWOMAN Don’t worry love. SPACEWOMAN That baby girl is love? BEGGAR WOMAN I bet you got a stash of fresh money stinking up your silvery ass pocket. SPACEWOMAN I don't need money. BEGGAR WOMAN You got something somewhere, so go there, don't be standing 'round here trying my patience. BEGGARWOMAN, DAUGHTER EXIT. EARTHWOMAN dials her messages on CELL PHONE. Listens to MESSAGES (taped). LANDLORD This is your landlord calling to remind you that your rent is now three weeks past due. You have already incurred late charges. Please make your payment before we're forced to take action to collect what you owe. MISS SPROCKET Hello, this is Miss Sprocket calling in reference to a medical bill which is now six months overdue, please call me MISS SPROCKET (cont.) before we're forced to take legal action. You can call twenty four hours a day at 800-P-A-Y-B-I-L-L. EARTHWOMAN'S AGENT Where are you? You should be at home right now. You know you need your beauty rest these days. We can't have you showing up with those bags under your eyes, and looking your age. Make sure you wear that dress, you know the one. I know for a fact that he likes cleavage. And don't come in one of your smart ass moods. You have to charm this guy, you understand? One more scene like the last time and I don't care if you're Sarah Vaughn, I'm gonna cut you. Call me as soon as you get this message. CEE CEE’S FATHER Hey Baby, what's happening, are you there? Come on pick up the phone baby, I know I haven't called in a long time, a really long time I guess, but I'm in town now and I need a place to crash and I haven't seen the kid either and you know I really miss her alot I really do no shit. CEE CEE’S FATHER (cont.) Come on I know you gotta be there and you're probably just mad at me but we can work it out if you give me a chance. OK, you wanna play games with me huh. I'll just keep calling cuz I know that you really love me and anyway it's not right to keep a father from his daughter. EARTHWOMAN puts down CELL PHONE and TAKES WALKMAN and EARPHONES out of her BAG. She puts them on and listens to music. ENTER PIMP PIMPS THEME PIMP Baby, that suit you're switching around in is really doing crazy things to me. Ask me for anything girl and it's yours. SPACEWOMAN Just exactly and matter of factly what does love mean? PIMP I knew you were looking. I'm your personal escort to inner secrets and long ecstasies, really long. SPACEWOMAN I just want to know what love really means. PIMP I know what you really want is true love. You want the love of a skilled artist. I'll bring you right to my love headquarters. PIMP offers her his arm and SPACEWOMAN takes it. SPACEWOMAN Why thank you sir that's very kind of you. He leads her to the wall and then pins her up against the wall and starts talking in her ear. PIMP I'll show you what love's all about sugar. SPACEWOMAN I am familiar with the methods of regeneration but is this love? PIMP Love is sex sex is love I'm gonna show you where it's at my little lovey dove. SPACEWOMAN Does this mean that you are in love with me? PIMP Yeah, I love you baby. And I want you to love me and some of my special friends. We'll give you a special name like Love Dove. SPACEWOMAN Tell me, will you love our offspring also? PIMP Don't square up on me now pretty Love Dove. You don't have to make babies to make love. Do I have to tell you about condoms? SPACEWOMAN How long is love made before it’s ready? PIMP Always be ready! PIMP struggles trying to open SPACEWOMAN'S suit. SPACEWOMAN You can’t undo it. You can't undo my suit. It’s tamper proof. It is dangerous! It is strictly against regulations to couple with any species on the planet of Earth. I must continue investigating a wide variety of the species. Thank you for your time I'll be going now. PIMP You are not going to go anywhere. SPACEWOMAN My duty is to the Elected Council. PIMP You're not even goin' pee without me. SPACEWOMAN neutralizes PIMP. EXIT PIMP SPACEWOMAN I know she can communicate to me SPACEWOMAN (cont.) the exact and matter of fact meaning. Maybe she knows the equation for love. EARTHWOMAN Are you lost? SPACEWOMAN No, just a little confused. I’m studying love. EARTHWOMAN I'm not a teacher. SPACEWOMAN You must know something. EARTHWOMAN I only know today everything is melody and fine. Tomorrow no one knows what's happening. EarthWoman gets up and starts walking away. SPACEWOMAN follows her. SPACEWOMAN Wait a minute please, where are you going? EARTHWOMAN Look, whatever you're selling your wasting your time with me I'm not buying today. SPACEWOMAN I just want to know about love that's all. I'm on a mission to find just exactly, matter of factly love's definition. I keep asking but I don't understand. EARTHWOMAN You can't just be on a mission of love. If you are you're in for a big let down. A song of love is eternal, real love lives only in the moment. SPACEWOMAN Songs of love? You’re withholding vital information. Do you sing love songs? EARTHWOMAN I sing every night, and sleep alone. SPACEWOMAN Could I learn one too? EARTHWOMAN Here's a flyer if you want to stop by. EARTHWOMAN EXITS. SPACEWOMAN Oh good I'll go to the love lecture first. I'll listen to love songs after and then I'll understand everything perfectly. SPACEWOMAN EXITS. Spotlight on MISTRESS MONA LOVE TV (live) CORPORAL CRUNCH MISTRESS MONA LOVE You may now call me Mistress Mona Love. Will that be cash, check, Visa, MasterCard? CORPORAL CRUNCH I'm Corporal Crunch, Senior Executive Agent in command of the Love Project. MISTRESS MONA LOVE Whatever you say secret agent man. I'm gonna need to see some cash up front. CORPORAL CRUNCH That might be a problem because I did not requisition any Earth money. MISTRESS MONA LOVE You must pay dearly for every pleasure. You two faced liar. How much was that suit? CORPORAL CRUNCH I’m on a mission. MISTRESS MONA LOVE I know who you are. You're just a weirdo from Washington. WALL (taped) SEVEN SISTERS montage CORPORAL CRUNCH I’m not from Washington. I can prove it. Mistress Mona Love, men where I come from serve the Seven Sisters in the temples. You look like the Sister of Compassion. Mistress Mona Love BUZZES Corporal Crunch in. Corporal Crunch steps off curb and enters. MISTRESS MONA LOVE You must tell me more about your mission. CORPORAL CRUNCH The council would punish me severely. MISTRESS MONA LOVE You deserve to be punished anyway. Let’s spy on the council, then make them beg. CORPORAL CRUNCH You have been contaminated by love. Love is not spoken of where I come from. MISTRESS MONA LOVE Mistress Mona Love should be on the lips of every man in the universe! You will serve Mistress Mona Love’s desire. You must never retire from pleasing me. CORPORAL CRUNCH I’ll take you home with me and you will see I’ll do everything to make you happy. CORPORAL CRUNCH, MISTRESS MONA LOVE DISAPPEAR. Strobe, special effects. Black Out. END SCENE ONE ACT ONE, SCENE TWO NIGHT CLUB MUSIC. Some people are dancing. WALL (live) TINKERBELL dancing. ENTER MUSICIANS, AGENT, PRODUCER, WOMAN #1, WOMAN #2, WAITER, SPACEWOMAN. SPACEWOMAN sees TINKERBELL and is struck by CUPID’S BOW. WAITER Wow! Look at that one piece! That's an outfit! I just love that suit. Where did you buy it? SPACEWOMAN You can not buy this suit. WAITER Why not? SPACEWOMAN It is made exclusively on the Green Planet of the Seven Sisters. WAITER Green Planet of the Seven Sisters? Is that an after hours party? No wait I just know I saw that label somewhere. SPACEWOMAN Who is that beautiful man dancing there? WAITER Oh, that’s Tinkerbell. He’s narcissistic. SPACEWOMAN I think I’m in love. WAITER You are not alone. WAITER moves on to serve another table. SPACEWOMAN fiddles with wrist device. TV (live) CORPORAL CRUNCH and MISTRESS MONA LOVE with CORPORAL CRUNCH in compromising position. SPACEWOMAN Agent requesting to remain on Earth. CORPORAL CRUNCH Why are you calling? You’re breaking the rules. SPACEWOMAN It appears that love is complicated. I must examine all the angles. CORPORAL CRUNCH Proceed with mission. Use extreme caution. Don’t attempt contact. I’ll be in the field. ENTER EARTHWOMAN AGENT You never get here a minute sooner. We've been waiting. Now you have to go on. Where were you? Why didn't you call me back? EARTHWOMAN Call you back? AGENT Didn't you get my message? You wore the wrong dress. EARTHWOMAN Look at all my friends. AGENT None of them paid. Come here and meet the man who's gonna make you. And be nice to him. AGENT pulls EARTHWOMAN over to PRODUCER who does not get up when she is introduced, and won't let go of EARTHWOMAN's hand either. AGENT This is the woman I've told you about. PRODUCER Only a fool would not have known who of all the people here is the only star. PRODUCER puts his hand on her hip. EARTHWOMAN brushes it off. EARTHWOMAN I sing for my life. Will you save my life? PRODUCER We need each other like a dog and bitch. MUSICIANS start to play. EARTHWOMAN sees TINKERBELL and is struck by CUPID'S BOW. EARTHWOMAN enters stage. EARTHWOMAN AND SPACEWOMAN Should I compare you to a summer's night? Dawn would arrive too soon to count your charms: EARTHWOMAN AND SPACEWOMAN (cont.) Dark clouds might hide the full moon from my sight, And its summer that soon the fall disarms: Sometimes desire is cooled by the heat And often indoors there's a very cold breeze; And rats might be running bold in the street, by some lone wolves looking for a main squeeze; But our love will never fade in the light Nor your smile lose its charm as years go by, Nor shall death keep our love from taking flight, When this song is sung and lonely girls sigh: So long as lovers kiss and poets strive, So long this song will keep our love alive. WOMAN #1 What do you mean you were with Tinkerbell? He doesn't want you. He only loves me. WOMAN #2 Maybe so but he was with me last night. WOMAN #1 That’s impossible. He wouldn’t do that! WAITER He asked me out tonight and I’m going. WOMAN #2 He would never go anywhere with you. WAITER You should ask where wouldn’t Tinkerbell go. WOMAN #2 Face the facts girl. You know just what I know. (WOMAN #1 pulls out a GUN) WOMAN #2 What you doing girl? Put that gun away. WAITER She’s got a gun. She’s going to kill us. WOMAN #1 He said he loved me. I thought he meant it! EARTHWOMAN Love is a game. Just act like you don't care. Everything will be melody and fine. EARTHWOMAN, WOMAN 1 AND 2, WAITER all struggle over gun. The gun goes off. TINKERBELL disappears with special effects. WAITER Tinkerbell!!! He has been shot! WOMAN #1 and #2 You shot him. EXIT WOMAN #1 AND #2 EARTHWOMAN What happened to him? SPACEWOMAN He must have gone away. SPACEWOMAN pulls out INSTRUMENT preparing to depart. I will find him and bring him home with me! You will teach me songs to keep love alive! SPACEWOMAN holds EARTHWOMAN’s hand. They both disappear with flashing lights, spacey music, and blackout. Lights up. WAITER Something is fishy in New York tonight. Tinkerbell lives in my memory’s sight and in my dreams of love unrequited. He’s undone by a woman with a gun. But perhaps he’s really the lucky one And wherever he is he is having fun. ENTER GODDESS. WALL (live) GODDESS GODDESS In a place where love is not spoken of many things happen behind a closed door, but the truest, most exact acts of love are those which entice us to search for more. We leave two women in a warm wet spot in the universe, a breath of heartbeats held while asking fate if she’s loved or not, by the one who makes her senses compete as if she had drunk from magic potions. The Green Planet Council will not answer for lost articles, preconceived notions, or requests for department transfer. The Seven Sisters devised a love test, but who knows if to give or get is best. END ACT ONE The Authentic Script mission of love Act 2 by Martha Cinader and Charlotte Taylor based on the original story by Martha Cinader copyright 1994-99 Martha Cinader and Charlotte Taylor Key: White=Stage Red=Sound Cues Blue=TV Light Green=Wall Projection Pink=Light Cues Characters in Order of Appearance SpaceWoman Corporal Crunch Goddess EarthWoman CeeCee Mistress Mona Love Speaker of the House Preacher BeggarWoman LandLord Miss Sprocket EarthWoman’s Agent CeeCee’s Father Pimp People Dancing in Nightclub Tinkerbelle Musician(s) EarthWoman’s Agent Producer Waiter Woman #1 Woman #2 Megaphone #1 Megaphone #2 Megaphone #3 Green Planet Citizens The Seven Sisters Janitor ACT TWO SCENE ONE ENTER GODDESS WALL (live) GODDESS GODDESS Love resides in a place no one can touch, where wind can never extinguish the flame. Perhaps Corporal Crunch, doesn’t know much, but the truths he repeats remain the same. We all once believed with childish trust what we were told, when we were boys and girls, then grew up to do what we thought we must, never intending to destroy our worlds. EarthWoman and SpaceWoman together stand at the border of a new frontier, beyond slickly sliding doors, a doctor’s needle, data analysis, and fear. Mistress Mona Love in Compassion’s wig presides at the Ritual of the Fig. REGENERATION CEREMONY GREEN PLANET CITIZENS moving to the soundtrack, wearing HEADGEAR attached to the TV. SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE is sitting petrified by the TV, trying to reach someone on his CELLULAR PHONE. TV (live over internet) POEMS E-MAILED TO WWW.MISSIONOFLOVE.COM, WRITTEN IN IAMBIC PENTAMETER AND NOT CONTAINING THE WORD "LOVE" SCROLL ON WEB TV. MEGAPHONES are milling around speaking a TRUTH at regular intervals. The whole atmosphere is surreal and charged with sexuality, as the GREEN PLANET CITIZENS go through their pre-mating ritual. But even so they stop each time to respond to the megaphone. MUSIC ALSO STOPS FOR THE MEGAPHONE RESPONSE AND STARTS AGAIN IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE CITIZENS RESPOND. MEGAPHONES Dream Helmets keep our Common Dream alive. We must report malfunctions before five. GREEN PLANET CITIZENS We are children of the Seven Sisters. MEGAPHONES Our Children keep our Common Dream alive. We must report conception before five. GREEN PLANET CITIZENS We are children of the Seven Sisters. TV (live) crackles, MISTRESS MONA LOVE appears. MISTRESS MONA LOVE The Sister of Compassion is Alive. She is your Mistress of Love after five. I’ll ask you who you are and where you’ve been. My pleasure is your original sin. MEGAPHONE #1 approaches TV GREEN PLANET CITIZENS We are children of original sin. MEGAPHONES #2 & #3 The Sister of Compassion is Alive. We must report to the Fig before five. GREEN PLANET CITIZENS We are children of the Mistress of Love. MISTRESS MONA LOVE You’re going to dive right into my jive. I am the live Sister of Compassion MISTRESS MONA LOVE (cont.) Giving you much more than just your ration of love and goodbye and pie in the sky. You’ll fly and you’ll cry and you won’t ask why. I’ll bring you your fig and feed it to you. You’ll be asking me what else you can do. GREEN PLANET CITIZENS We are children of the pie in the sky. MEGAPHONE #1 drops the megaphone to side, and speaks directly to TV. MEGAPHONE #1 What was that word? I’ve never heard of "love." GREEN PLANET CITIZENS We are the children of the word love. SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE grabs BULLHORN. SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE I am the Speaker of the House and I demand to know what is going on here! I have plainly been placed in a lie of the most preposterous proportions! MEGAPHONES #2 & #3 Our common children are our common goal. We must speak our lines and obey the roles. GREEN PLANET CITIZENS We are children of preposterous lies. MEGAPHONE #1 grabs BULLHORN back from Speaker of the House. SPOTLIGHT fades on CITIZENS as they continue their ritual around the TV. SPOTLIGHT on EARTHWOMAN and SPACEWOMAN EARTHWOMAN is lying on a table with the same kind of HEADGEAR, attached to, and being examined by, SPACEWOMAN WALL (taped), REPLAY of TINKERBELL dancing in nightclub. (act one, scene two.) SFX ON VOICES OF EARTHWOMAN AND SPACEWOMAN SPACEWOMAN You are in a state of relaxation. Your every need is taken care of. You will sing every love song that you know. You will sing and Tinkerbell will not go. EARTHWOMAN I don’t know why but I’m feeling so sad. SPACEWOMAN I don’t know why but I’m feeling so sad. EARTHWOMAN I long to try something I never had. SPACEWOMAN I don’t think that love is really so bad. EARTHWOMAN As long as lovers kiss and poets strive, EARTHWOMAN & SPACEWOMAN so long this song will keep our love alive. END SFX ON EARTHWOMAN and SPACEWOMAN Suddenly an ALARM goes off. SPACEWOMAN panics. Her helmet wires get tangled with EARTHWOMAN’S and both their helmets fall off. EARTHWOMAN begins to come out of her trance. TINKERBELL FADES FROM WALL. SPACEWOMAN He’s fading away! Tinkerbell is gone! EARTHWOMAN Where in the world am I? Who are you? SPACEWOMAN Please, you should not have removed your helmet! Put it on before your love can escape! EARTHWOMAN What exactly have you done with my head? SPACEWOMAN Don’t ask me questions. Put your helmet on! He was alive again and now he’s gone! You must sing to him and sigh and he’ll live! EARTHWOMAN I’m not putting this helmet on. I’m gone. EARTHWOMAN tries to leave. SPACEWOMAN tries to stop her. EARTHWOMAN looks out the WINDOW and sees regeneration ceremony going on. MEGAPHONES Mistress Mona Love has come from above. The Sister of Compassion knows of love. GREEN PLANET CITIZENS The Sister of Compassion is alive. EARTHWOMAN Where are we, and how do I get back home? SPACEWOMAN Just put the helmet on and you’ll be fine. EARTHWOMAN Everything is not melody and fine. How long has this affair been going on? I have to make a call! Where is my phone? SPACEWOMAN Lovers are kissing. You must really strive. And I’m going to keep our love alive! Your telephone is out of range right now. EARTHWOMAN I have to know what Cee Cee is doing. SPACEWOMAN She is at the Grinch Grinchrich Orphanage. I’m sure she is being well taken care of. EARTHWOMAN How do you know what Cee Cee is doing? SPACEWOMAN I shouldn’t be answering your questions. EARTHWOMAN You shouldn’t even have me here at all. SPACEWOMAN You are right! I’ve been infected with love! I am not a qualified love agent. There is going to be revolution! The Green Planet will never be the same! I’m a failure. EARTHWOMAN You are a lunatic. You have to help me. SPACEWOMAN But I can’t help you. EARTHWOMAN Cee Cee will think I don’t really love her. SPACEWOMAN Just put your helmet on and you’ll be fine. Everything will be melody and fine. I’ll call the janitor. He’ll clean this mess. I’ll go to the Sister of Compassion. Maybe it’s not too late, if I confess. EARTHWOMAN What’s so bad about falling in love? I thought you wanted to know what it means. SPACEWOMAN What’s so bad? I’ll tell you just what’s so bad. When you love one, you don’t love another. When you love money, you always want more. You love your country and you go to war. Without love there is no need to suffer. I was an agent of love prevention. But I have become a victim of love! It’s really your fault. You taught me that song. EARTHWOMAN You don’t understand. I have to go home. SPACEWOMAN You can’t go home because you should not be here. Put your helmet on and you’ll be happy. It’s a fact that I have to go right now. I have to fix everything before five. EARTHWOMAN You have to help me get back to Cee Cee. SPACWOMAN pushes BUTTON. WALL (live) CEE CEE. SPACEWOMAN You can see her but you just can’t touch her. EARTHWOMAN turns to look at Cee Cee on WALL. SPACEWOMAN slips away. MISSION OF LOVE THEME CEE CEE Here I am alone. I wish I could go home. This place is no fun. I don’t get to run. I’m really not bad but I feel so sad. I hope Mom is OK for one more day. I hope they will see she didn't leave me. ENTER JANITOR EARTHWOMAN Now you must think of the stories I told. You have to ride the rainbow and find gold. CEE CEE Why haven’t you come for me yet Mommy? I'm trying to be strong, like you told me. But that priest said he won’t let you take me. He said you’re not even a good Mommy. EARTHWOMAN Love is pain when the one you love suffers, in the tangled webs woven by others. CEE CEE For every minute there is a rule. We had to clean all day instead of school. But I didn’t get paid any money. And they feed us all oats without honey. CEE CEE (cont.) The Speaker of the House will come today. He doesn’t know I have something to say. EARTHWOMAN Say it loud and clear and I’ll be near you. CEE CEE Don’t forget I love you and you love me. EARTHWOMAN What ever we do, wherever we be. CEE CEE Even if I watched from a distant star EARTHWOMAN & CEE CEE I’d still reside wherever you are. WALL FADES. EARTHWOMAN CEE CEE please don’t leave me here all alone! JANITOR I never knew pleasure gave birth to pain. I never knew the word love ‘til you came. I was content to work and pay my rent then you spoke of love and my world was bent. Now you have opened the door to my heart but I feel like I’m being torn apart. I could say that I wish you never came but I wish you would say you feel the same. EARTHWOMAN Who are you, and where did you just come from? JANITOR I’m the janitor. I clean up messes. Could I touch your beautiful brown tresses? EARTHWOMAN I would prefer you kept your distance please. JANITOR I always preferred blondes, then I met you. I liked short women, but then I met you. EARTHWOMAN You didn’t meet me. You don’t even know my name. JANITOR Your brown eyes are holding me entranced In a strange world peculiarly enhanced By the funny twist of your thin lipped smile And the way you dress without any style. There must be strong forces working above. It must be this word you are using, "love." EARTHWOMAN Whenever I fall in love it’s a mess. Tinkerbell’s gone and Cee Cee’s in trouble. JANITOR I’m the janitor. I clean up messes. End Act Two, Scene One Act Two, Scene Two SPOTLIGHT on REGENERATION CEREMONY TV (live) MISTRESS MONA LOVE continues MISTRESS MONA LOVE My older sisters are getting tired They aren’t anxious to be admired. But we are young and we want to have fun. MEGAPHONE #2 & #3 Fun keeps us all young. We all must have fun. GREEN PLANET CITIZENS We are children keeping young having fun. MEGAPHONE #1 The Sister of Compassion speaks new rhymes. This must be a sign of the changing times. Green Planet Citizens We are all children of the changing times. SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE I demand to see whoever’s in charge! I am the Speaker! Who is my equal? ENTER SPACEWOMAN SPACEWOMAN Corporal Crunch Sir! There’s been an error! SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE What is your title? Your name and rank please. Someone’s head is gonna roll. Someone will suffer! SPACEWOMAN Corporal Crunch have you been infected? You know that suffering is not allowed. MISTRESS MONA LOVE Some men appear to be more than they are, and some men exist only in our dreams. But this man here is from a distant star. and nothing you believe is what it seems. SPACEWOMAN The Mistress of Compassion is alive. Could it be that love has awakened her? MEGAPHONE #1 Love has awakened and now we’re alive We must believe in what seems in our dreams. GREEN PLANET CITIZENS We are children of the seven lovers. ENTER EARTHWOMAN, JANITOR EARTHWOMAN You’re the one who got me into this mess. Everything was just melody and fine until you came along and wrecked my life. SPACEWOMAN The Janitor was supposed to mop you. My requisition must not have gone through. MEGAPHONE #2 & #3 Dream Helmets can keep us out of messes. Everything will be melody and fine. GREEN PLANET CITIZENS We are children of the sisters lovers. JANITOR I must consider the infrastructure. This is a bigger mess than you realize. I do complicated engineering. I have a form here that you must sign first. EARTHWOMAN (to Speaker of the House) You! You oughtta be ashamed of yourself! I knew the government was behind this. MEGAPHONES Sisterhood, the mother of brotherhood. We must eat the figs our mother provides. SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE I bet you’re one of those single mothers. This is a subversive revolution. It must be contained at no end to cost. MISTRESS MONA LOVE The old order, a fading falling star, is far away from this place where you are. The Sister of Compassion is your friend. You will savor her ripe figs in the end. GREEN PLANET CITIZENS We are the children of your fading friends. SPACEWOMAN The revolution is happening now! I alone have made a cosmic error! I wish I could share this with Tinkerbell! EARTHWOMAN Would someone please pay attention to me! JANITOR The thought of your hands on my naked skin evokes fantasies where I've never been before you came in with your crooked walk and I listened to your spaced out talk. EARTHWOMAN This is really not the time or the place. JANITOR The thought of you bathed in neon light while I hope and pray that one day you might JANITOR (cont.) just hold me in your awkward skinny arms renders me a prisoner of your charms. EARTHWOMAN Are you going anywhere with all this? JANITOR I just want to be wherever you are I will follow you to a distant star. I can get you just where you want to be and you are the one who can set me free. MISTRESS MONA LOVE True love can not be bought, or sold either. I would say he’s suffering from fever. JANITOR (to Speaker of the House) You must fill this out. You’ll get due process. SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE I will sue you for useless suffering! JANITOR Suffering is strictly prohibited. Please report right away for the love test. SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE But you don’t understand. I’m the speaker! MISTRESS MONA LOVE You’re a love agent now. There’s the Speaker. WALL (taped) CORPORAL CRUNCH is giving a speech in front of flashing photographers bulbs and several microphones. CEE CEE is ducking around him trying to get in front of the camera. CORPORAL CRUNCH A real democratic institution Would place each and every child in our care And not distinguish one from another. Then we’d each see ourselves in each child’s eyes. CEE CEE Mr. Speaker I need to speak to you. I’m sure there must be something you can do. My mother has been away a long time She vanished without leaving any sign. CORPORAL CRUNCH I know you. Your mother sings those love songs. CEE CEE My mother’s spoken to me in my dreams from the planet of the seven sisters. CORPORAL CRUNCH A great change is coming for everyone. You must all report to the fig at five. WALL CRACKLES and FADES to ANIMATION of the universe. SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE He is destroying my only career. I’ll be the laughing stock of Washington! JANITOR (to SpaceWoman) You must turn this in to the office now. SPACEWOMAN But you don’t understand. It’s all over! JANITOR No, you’re wrong. It’s only just beginning. SPACEWOMAN But what ever happened to Tinkerbell? EARTHWOMAN (to Janitor) If you get me home I’ll give you a try but if it doesn’t work out please don’t cry or tell me what I should or shouldn’t do or blame me if I’m not in love with you. SPACEWOMAN Has everyone abandoned the mission? EARTHWOMAN Everything will be melody and fine. Janitor pulls out his INSTRUMENTS, SFX JANITOR and EARTHWOMAN vanish EXIT EARTHWOMAN, JANITOR MISTRESS MONA LOVE All is fair in the war of the ages. When we’ve loved and lost we become sages. You will not be allowed to suffer here. It is something about the atmosphere. TV goes to COMMERCIAL EXIT SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE, GREEN PLANET CITIZENS. TV (live) EARTHWOMAN and CEE CEE.. JANITOR standing at a distance watching. MEGAPHONES She came alive. We dived into her jive. We must rehearse tomorrow before five. EXIT MEGAPHONES SPACEWOMAN So love was here and I did not know it. Love can’t be seen even when you show it. EARTHWOMAN Girl have I got a story to tell you. CEE CEE Not like the story I have to tell you. EXIT EARTHWOMAN, CEE CEE JANITOR My love is my light in a strange, new world. Even though her hair would look better curled. EXIT JANITOR FADE TO AUDIENCE SPACEWOMAN But our love will never fade in the light nor your smile lose its' charm as years go by, nor shall death keep our love from taking flight, when this song is sung and lonely girls sigh: so long as lovers kiss and poets strive, so long this song will keep our love alive. SPOTLIGHT FADES on SPACEWOMAN. ENTER GODDESS SPOTLIGHT on GODDESS SEVEN SISTERS VIDEO MONTAGE on WALL MISSION OF LOVE THEME GODDESS In a world without love there is no pain. The only reason for being alive when there’s nothing to suffer or to gain, is to finish all your work before five. We all share one destiny in the sky perhaps without even stopping to ask where our blessings come from or even why we take our most beloved friends to task. When we lack the things that we think we need and forget our love for living itself, GODDESS (cont.) we must turn to our neighbors and plant seeds or put some food on an empty shelf. The final word from the Goddess above Is that we’re all on a Mission of Love. The End

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