Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.


By Anthony Moore

GENRE: Action, Sci-fi

A wrongly disgraced soldier exiled to an interstellar colony ship must prevent its hijacking by aliens to save the millions of innocent lives aboard.


People all over the world are taking tests for a chance at becoming one of a million of Earth’s best and brightest who will leave with an interstellar ark, which has returned to Earth after a century of travel. The transplant of these candidates to another galaxy will ease the overpopulation and shrinking resources on our war torn planet while providing a new home for humans to colonize.

Sgt. Thomas Cus, a soldier in prison for assaulting his commanding officer is suddenly released from jail to baby-sit two emissaries from the ark. While visiting a mall, terrorists attack and the building becomes a war zone. Cus saves emissary Molova but the other is killed. Blamed for the emissary’s death, Cus is arrested. As punishment he is given a choice, leave Earth or face court martial. Discovering that it was all a setup from the start in order to draw out a group of terrorists, he chooses exile.

On the ark, Cus is angry and withdrawn. He refuses to become involved in the ship’s community; he is at odds with his roommate and hates the ship’s liaison. His roommate informs him that he is the last of a hundred unwanted backup candidates. He also learns that Stellars (ark born) are stronger and smarter than Earthers and have a bio-chip implanted from birth.

While getting acclimated to his new life, Cus realizes that any Earther who applies for a job on the ship gets an entry level position regardless of what they did on Earth. This sparks his ire and curiosity and he begins looking into it. Through a young woman, Cus establishes a rapport with the ships talking autonomous A.I. and enlists his roommate’s help to unravel the mystery.

Upon touring a medical facility, Cus notes a large number of Stellars in isolation units that have contracted an illness and are kept sedated. That night, the patients awake and leave the facility.

Cus is relaxing in his quarters when an alarm goes off. The A.I. informs him that the ship is adrift and will fall to Earth. Also, everyone sent to engineering to look at the problem has disappeared. Cus orders the A.I. to send out a ship-wide call asking for volunteers, Earthers only. Only twelve people respond, including his roommate, a teen, a scientist, a spy, a thug and a gamer. The A.I. provides them with a flying car and stun guns.

Storming the building, Cus and his team are attacked by the missing people. The stun guns prove useless and the team is forced to retreat. During the escape the car is shot in mid-flight, killing the teen. The team bails out over water and has to swim to shore. The A.I. provides another car, medical assistance, armor and better weapons. The A.I. reasons that their attackers must be under a form of mind control.

On their second attempt, Cus and his team retake engineering. They destroy an alien machine which brings the orbital engines back online. Unfortunately, the bad guys are long gone. The scientist has been shot and has to be hospitalized. Emmisary Molova reveals that she is really the arks current leader. She invites the team to a ceremony in their honor for saving the ship.

The crowd of Stellars boos and refuse to honor the Earthers. Suddenly the floor shakes. The A.I. informs Cus that the Interstellar drive engines have been activated and that if not shut down quickly the ship would soon warp into an unknown region of space. The A.I. also informs him that over a hundred workers from the ship’s control section have disappeared.

Cus and his team sneak into the ship’s control center but are ambushed. After taking losses, Cus, his roommate, and the thug survive to make it to the control room door. Unfortunately this is a trap and they are captured. Fortunately, the spy, injured during the first ambush makes it to an electrical closet. Causing a power surge, he knocks out the lights and the mind controlled bad guys. Cus and his team take out another alien machine and restore ship controls to the A.I.

The A.I. finally traces the alien mind control signal. Cus and Molova investigate to discover that one corridor wall is actually a doorway to an alien environment. They both don oxygen masks only to be attacked by a horde of mind controlled people. Cus orders the A.I. to seal the corridor and blow the bulkhead. With no time to spare Cus wraps his belt around a pipe and grabs Molova. Explosive decompression throws the wall into space and nearly does the pair. An emergency bulkhead shifts into place to save them.

With the wall gone the controlled people fall out. Cus’ remaining team members appear and help the pair, who are suffering from exposure. Molova steps down as leader of the ark and transfers the title to Cus, just in case the aliens come back.

Beth Fox Heisinger

Hi Anthony. That's quite the action-packed story! It kind of reminds me of Netflix's "3%"—the element of people being tested to be included in the top percent of humanity. Okay, just my two cents... Meant only to be constructive, feel free to ignore. Lol! But the point of those "best and brightest" being sent out into space is foggy. Why? Why are they being sent? What's the reason? Is Earth doomed? Is this group of chosen people meant to save humanity, hence the "ark" reference? Are they in search of something? Perhaps it's just me... But it took me a moment to connect the Biblical notion of "ark" in the logline. Perhaps more clearly define what this is in terms of the story only. Maybe if the reason for this ship being sent into space is also in the logline; that would help make it more engaging and clear. Perhaps call it a ship that's named "The Ark" in the synopsis and leave the reference out of the logline—title, logline, synopsis all work together. Also, the protagonist... If he is "disgraced" and "never fits in" then why would he be "suddenly released" to babysit emissaries? Why him? Seems he is not "the best." Is he wrongly disgraced? Wouldn't there be other more worthy soldiers for the task? Why would he be forced to be included with "the best and the brightest?" Isn't this ship a good thing? Wouldn't he want to be on board? Seems more like a prison, this ship, which is very confusing. I like this notion of good intentions and then having it all go wrong. It becomes almost a thriller/horror. They're all trapped on this ship in space. Therefore, to me, there's also a conceptual/tonal disjoint between the title and the synopsis; "Stellar Dreams" seems a bit light and trivial given the action and serious tone of the synopsis. If it's meant to be ironic, I don't know if it works? Perhaps consider dropping "Dreams" and just call it "Stellar." Or maybe come up with a different title. Anyway, I think you have an interesting premise, but a few things may need to be clarified. I hope that helps! I wish you the best with it! ;)

Mike W. Rogers

Rated this logline

Mike W. Rogers

I like how each act has defined action. It doesn't revolve around one BIG event. The Arch is the adventure and provides three stages of action. The set-up seems short and sweet as we are quickly throw in to the event of the story.

register for stage 32 Register / Log In