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WHERE THE MEN ARE

WHERE THE MEN ARE
By Wendy Jean Wilkins

GENRE: Comedy, Romance
LOGLINE:

In an homage to the great Spring Break movie ‘Where The Boys Are,’ after discovering her fiancée is gay, Merritt York runs away with her thirty-something girlfriends to Daytona Beach, Florida where they stumble hard in trying to reclaim a missed youthful adventure only to discover that what’s really missing in their lives is really, much closer to home.

SYNOPSIS:

After discovering her fiancée is gay, 30-something Merritt York runs away to Spring Break with three girlfriends for a week of attempted fun, sun and shenanigans.

In a bid to reclaim their youth, four friends – Merritt, Tuggle, Melanie and Angie set out from Upstate New York to Daytona Beach, Florida to make up for a missed young adulthood rite of passage. In an homage to the great (and first) Spring Break film Where The Boys Are,our Ladies each have a singular goal for their trip – heartbroken environmentalist Merritt wants to escape her crumbling life and be left alone; tired mother of twins Tuggle desires relaxation and anonymity; virgin romantic Melanie needs to find a sugar daddy in order to save her failing business; and newly divorced gym teacher Angie desperately wants to find a Mr. Right Now.

Loathing Generation Z but needing to get away from her stale life, reluctant Merritt is talked into driving her friends down to Daytona Beach, FL. On the road, they bond over bad dates, aging and mid-life tragedies. When they hit the North/South Carolina border, they do a must stop at the ‘South of the Border’ tourist trap where they meet Huck, a mixologist their age hitching a ride with frat guys for work during Spring Break. When he meets Merritt, he’s smitten, seeing through her embittered state. However, Merritt is uninterested, still too heartbroken to care.

A spur of the moment stopover in Myrtle Beach leads the Ladies to a celebrated knock-off Chippendales stripper show where everyone dives into the debauchery, except Merritt. Trying to escape, she meets Kyle, an 18-year-old undaunted cougar hunter who wants to ravage her. Offended and flattered, she turns him down. The next day, a call comes in from Huck, he’s been ditched at the Florida state line. Playing matchmaker, Tuggle talks the wary Merritt into picking him up, only to also obtain another stray,

Chi Chi, a young tattooed musician and the instant target of Angie’s sexual conquest.

Finally the Ladies arrive in Daytona, but too late for the cheap rooms at the hotel, forcing them to take in two other 30-somethings, Dee and Brenda, to cover costs.

The first night of their Spring Break adventure, the Ladies hit the town, dragging grumpy Merritt out who promptly gets drunk but leads them in winning a Macarena dance contest at Huck’s bar. The next day as Merritt nurses a wicked hang over, the rest of the Ladies head to the beach. Spring Break is in full session pulling the Ladies in all different directions. Enticed by an MTV concert, Melanie falls into the lap of a young, cute, tech Ivy Leaguer named Hardy. Tuggle idles her day away at a spa. Angie fosters Chi Chi’s random music gigs on the beach and poolside. Dee and Brenda are recruited into hawking a new alcoholic lemonade by hot salesmen brothers. And Merritt, stilling trying to hide out, ends up at a diner only to run into Huck who then gets her to accidently spend the day with him.

As the week ticks away, the temporary high of a middle age Spring Break in the land of ‘live it up kids’ is shattered by the realities of life. Melanie and Hardy start to fall for each other, only to be thwarted by Hardy’s competitive and arrogant golf pro father, offering an investment opportunity for Melanie she can’t pass up. The immature and cocky Chi Chi, who has mistaken the slobbish Angie as gay, has deflected all Angie’s sexual advances. Frustrated Dee and Brenda begin to realize they might’ve been “Tom Sawyer’ed” by the swarthy beverage brothers. The always-safe Tuggle has somehow become addicted to expensive daily spa treatments, which include the extra service of… Happy Endings. And after sharing some dark, personal secrets, Merritt’s bitterness armor has been knocked off a little bit by the sweet and persistent Huck only to have her swiftly retreat when Huck’s past and present appetite for younger women is revealed.

All the hopefulness for their Spring Break explodes on their sixth night. At a party, Hardy’s dad roofies Melanie and tries to sexually assault her. Tired of being misunderstood, Angie gives herself a makeover and hits up a Chi Chi concert, singing brilliantly with his band, which makes him finally see her. But now that Chi Chi wants her, Angie wants nothing to do with him. Tired and sunburnt, Dee and Brenda give up on their accidental job; vow never to chase younger men again, embrace being thirty-something women and resign the shattered fantasy of Spring Break. And by the skin of her teeth, Tuggle escapes an FBI raid at the spa, vowing to never “cheat” again.

The true reality of their Spring Break hits the Ladies in the face when they come to the rescue of a roofied Melanie. Recovering at the hospital, Melanie and the Ladies declare penises off limits for the rest of their trip. That is, until Hardy rushes to Melanie’s side, begging for forgiveness for not protecting her from his dad and asking for the chance to be her first boyfriend. With the encouragement of her friends, Melanie enthusiastically accepts -- having found love in the most unlikely place – Spring Break!

With his tail between his legs, Huck also shows up, asking Merritt to give him a chance to be in her life. Still hurting too much, Merritt declines Huck for the last time.

As the trip comes to a close, the Ladies finally spend quality time together, bonding on all things Spring Break, including a staged revenge scene at a Chi Chi gig. The last night is beach party time where Merritt gets super drunk. Tuggle challenges her to finally give up her anger, let an honorable man like Huck in. Not herself, Merritt becomes combative and ends up falling face first into the sand just as Huck shows up. Mortified, Merritt takes off, only to run into Kyle, the kid from Myrtle Beach. Wishing to disappear from her head and the world, Merritt finally takes him up on his sexual aerobics offer. As they get down in the sand, concerned Tuggle and Huck find them, mid blow-job. Ashamed and pissed, Merritt declares their Spring Break over.

Early the next morning, the car is packed as the Ladies say goodbye to new best friends Dee and Brenda. As Melanie and Hardy kiss goodbye, Tuggle tries to talk to Merritt about Huck but she shuts her down. But then, something comes over Merritt and she takes off on foot. At Huck’s hotel door, Merritt apologizes for being dumb and treating him like her ex-finance. For Huck though, it’s now too late and wishes her peace. Crushed, Merritt returns and declares a Marshal Law of silence for the car ride home.

Sun turns into clouds turns into rain turns into snow as the Ladies drive home. Almost there, the Ladies make a bathroom pit stop at the Pennsylvania state line. Old friends, true lady pals Tuggle and Merritt finally let everything from the past week go and make up. With lots of time to think on the drive home, Merritt confesses that Tuggle was right; Huck was one of the good ones. As Tuggle wipes Merritt’s tears away, a sly smile grows across her face and she turns Merritt around. There stands Huck. He and Hardy followed them back. Huck confesses that Merritt scares him like no other, but in the way he’s always needed. He asks Merritt one last time -- will she take a chance on him? Merritt jumps into his arm, breaking the spell of her heartache with kisses.

Winner, CREATIVE WORLD AWARDS Best Comedy Screenplay, 2018

3rd Place, COMEDY SCREENPLAY Competition, 2013

Top-10 Runner-Up, SCRIPTAPALOOZA Screenplay Competition, 2013

Finalist, RICHMOND INTERNATIONAL Film Festival, 2019

Finalist, WOMEN IN FILM:NY Meryl Streep Writers Lab, 2015

Finalist, SCREENCRAFT FELLOWSHIP, 2015

Finalist, MOONDANCE International Film Fest Screenplay Contest, 2013

Finalist, NEW YORK Screenplay Competition, 2013

Finalist, SCREENPLAY FEST, 2013

Finalist, HOLIDAY Screenplay Contest, 2012

Semi-Finalist, GEORGIA SHORT Film Festival, 2019

Semi-Finalist, HOUSTON COMEDY Film Festival, 2019

Semi-Finalist, WOMEN WHO WRITE IN FILM, 2018

Semi-Finalist, CIRCUS ROAD Screenplay Competition, 2015

Semi-Finalist, 17th Annual FADE IN AWARDS, 2013

Semi-finalist, LA COMEDY Shorts Fest, 2013

Quarter-finalist, JUST EFFING ENTERTAIN ME, 2012

WHERE THE MEN ARE

View screenplay
Nathaniel Baker

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