SYNOPSIS:

High Commander trying to take his boss' Caligastia's girlfriend away, permanently. The story is actually the ending of a 3-part series.

CEPHALAND

CEPHALAND Screenplay by Hai Buo Gao (No longer than 114 pages). EXT. SPACE -- NIGHT Camera swoops up on large spaceship, the size of several Deep Space Nines (Security Agency's Dreadnought Promethian). Zooms through a port side window. INT. inside CENTRAL Camera swoops through curved hallways, carefully down into central Holodeck shaft until it gets to floor number 7. Traveling camera zooms still further in to 7's glorious, glowing, space matrix. Slows for a second to show audience two scientists in luminescent lab smocks (E Lohim and Toymaker, who shows up later in Seraphic Cafe), standing next the side of large pyramid shape. Camera backs off, slowly correcting its approach from the second "Mesene" floor to highest of three sections. Zooms still closer as it zooms thru space to the center of the top of the matrix. EXT. CCA Training facility (space port) Prosenona Part One from Stories 10 Part 1 ::: Port Orange Dance ::: is sponsoring a special event this evening: Princess Laetitia, Newton, E. Lohim, and Spoof's "Island Team Spring Dance". the Paracelsus (Schade's), Hamilton (Princess Laetitia's), Washington (Pseth's), and Griffin galaxy-class motherships were scheduled for the prestigious and creative (transfor/t05.htm), Z-game Dance Contest near CCA Academy's training facility. Their space-time Prosenona maneuvers are to Mesene travelers, majestic and beautiful - beyond mortal vision or comprehension. Prosenona avionics allow contestants to "physically" dance while operating navigational attachments. Pseth Our turn! Shall we, Princess? Princess You're all feet, Pseth! pseth You're a poet too? Hey, your steps improved! Moonlightin', babe? princess Here at the Academy, cowboy. Shhhhh. Step closer. Zykor was shadow dancing across Prosenona - unattended! You know what Toymaker said .. pseth The Zykor was here looking for Caligastia, and left already, Princess! Princess And Schade N Freude? pseth A little suspicious about his sudden invitation to the Spring Dance (Rev 6:12-14), but still thinks Zykor's shadow dancing was his idea somehow .. princess Newton's temporal displacements? pseth You don't give yourself credit, babe! Sheesh! The Ambassador let Vulcan drone Zykor re-stock at :go with Schade's phony Orange credentials! Prin OMG! There's more? Pseth E's not the only one who wants the paradox (transfor/t54.htm - Schade saving Zykor after it ran into a space mine and exploded)! Guess who just changed the music? princess Toymaker changed the dance? PSETH Yes. Now Paracelsus' astrophysicists are charting a distant portion of the grand helix through which the Zykor will be navigating from. Princess And what is Schade's cut? Pseth Schade discovered a way to protect his partner in crime, Gole M. Nudnick with what appeared to be a V/space mine, a perfect link to Toymaker'ss paradox, the one with a strange Port Orange time signature - he's no genius! PRINCESS So Freude just stumbled onto vortex technology! E Hmmmm. Lived much under the sea, Princess?(density/d25.htm)? princess On the shore near Playa! E Then you've never been properly introduced to a lobster? princess For lunch, silly! Why, there's nothing like eating lobster when you're feeling a wee bit horny! E Wouldn't sex all night with your Mesene cowboy be better (UB 34:7)? princess I never said eating lobster is better than having sex with Pseth - I said there was nothing like it! E Got it! So you've no idea how to do a lobster pop-rap? princess No! But crazy, hip-hoppin' Newton (UB 44:5) here learned dancing from Puff Tiddy - Newton? newton Absoooolutely, Princess! Islanders, contestants: Mothership formation - E will shout the steps! E All Captains: attention! Two Groups (rules/r45.htm) - dinosaurs, mantids (worlds/w47.htm), hominids, and so on, and after Newton clears the octopus (density/d47.htm) out of the way .. princess That takes time, Ambassador (science/s02.htm)! E Tell 'em to twirl around twice (orientat/o03.htm)! newton Each with a partner? How many whirligig, pop-raping lobsters do we have, Lohim (UB 16:9)? E Just have 'em fling the lobsters as far out to sea as possible (transfor/t09.htm)! newton Sure, then we'll swim out after them (UB 11:8)! E Excuse me Newton, but Princess - like to see a sample? princess Ambassador, I would be delighted to see the dance, but go in after them? E Shall we have the current spin them around and pop 'em straight up, like this (UB 29)? princess (LOL) Yes, yes! Your dance will do nicely! And up to :cr? Interesting .. E Exactly, and the Zykor down Port Rose - and SE across Mesene! .. <Pop!> EXT. SPACE -- NIGHT Prosenona Part 2 "Stories 10" With Grand Island slightly above, roving camera swoops into Grand Island's Spring Dance Contest. INT. GRIFFIN'S RENDEZVOUS -- DAY Although STS have never won an Island Team* Spring Dance contest, the best ships keep receiving Newton's annual invitations. Top ten winners each receive titles to a fleet of one hundred Mesene- or Rhom-grade motherships, loaded with the newest technology and weaponry! Amidst cheers and jeers from anxious contestants, the Port Orchestra begins the Z-game prelude. Caligastia and Schade's sleek ships (Griffin and the Paracelsus), with surprising grace begin their shadow maneuvers in sublime matrix formation with the Hamilton and the Washington, respectively - a difficult feat for warships even if it weren't in Orange's Z-game space! - End of note. GENERAL CALIGASTIA HELM! Steady! Track with the Hamilton, nice and easy! We don't lose points if Schade can't attend correctly! Of course, whoever blows that fat bastard off at our first curve wins two weeks shore leave on Nymph! And for those with short memories in Tactical who were here at last year's event, Lt. Willie was trying to explain before Weapons Control was vaporized (rules/r39.htm) - forget phasers, target overrides , photons, random pot shots .. First officer Caligastia! Scrambled transmission - emergency band! GENERAL CALIGASTIA Secure channel! [..STATIC..] .. [..STATIC..] Sargent REX - acknowledge! SARGENT REX [..STATIC..] I HATE slimy octopus, SIR! [..STATIC..] GENERAL CALIGASTIA SILENCE, ratchetjaws! Orders for your CephaLand incarnation are NO PANIC .. or Rex: lovely Dina's gonna get a hologram FULL in, in her .. PREPARE, Rex! GAWD - I HATE dinosaurs (worlds/w10.htm)! Grrr! FIRST OFFICER Caligastia, s-s-Sir? Holy MOTHERHSIPS! Schade back-phased that big black piece of shit, and the Hamilton vanished - it's GONE, sir! GENERAL CALIGASTIA Whaa? Princess Laetitia only joined Z-games to keep the Paracelsus (rules/r03.htm) .. Schade <[STATIC] .. Griffin! ..[STATIC]> .. from blowing up the WHOLE FRIKKING PORT! GENERAL CALIGASTIA WHAA??? Cut coms! TRIANGULATE! BURY that lying, cheating, SONOFABITCH LOBSTER in our BACKWASH! Helm: FULL STOP! FIRST OFFICER SIR! We just scrambled docking codes, Z space folded and the Zykor materialized! Nudnick blew up at Epsilon Eridani (poleshft/p39.htm), didn't he? GENERAL CALIGASTIA His manifest sync-locked, dummies! Onscreen! Gole - Cargo bay C40! Beam up J12s, X7s, and DX-10 disruptors and refuel in Central :gr! Back out of matrix space, NOW ! .. If I lose, High Commander - you're so through! Do you UNDERSTAND? Grrr-r-rr! GOLE M NUDNICK <[..STATIC..] Yes Sir! [..STATIC..]> GRIFFIN's First officer COMS CUT! Five's Z continuum isn't recording; we're running quantum-band diagnostics! It's out there Caligastia, but matrix space (UB 11:7) doesn't register - no ion signature! GENERAL CALIGASTIA Oh my GAWD! Step ONE: Re-phase arrays for time warps! Step TWO: Long-range Z-scans! Do I have to quote the whole PHUCKING Z Nav Best Practices? Find the HAMILTON you illiterate MORONS, GRAA-A-AAGH!! EXT. Aquarius: CCA TRAINING FACILITY (SPACE PORt "renderzvous') Editor's note: Although STS have never won a Prosenona contest, the best STS ships keep receiving Newton's annual "Island Team Spring Dance" invitations. Top ten winners from either STS or STO orientation each receive titles to a fleet of one hundred Mesene- or Rhom-grade motherships, loaded with the newest technology and weaponry! Amidst cheers and jeers from anxious contestants, Port Orchestra begins the Z-game prelude. Caligastia and Schade's sleek ships (Griffin and the Paracelsus), with surprising grace begin their shadow maneuvers in sublime matrix formation with the Hamilton and the Washington, respectively - a difficult feat for warships even if it weren't in Orange's Z-game space! General Caligastia HELM - Steady! Track with the Hamilton, nice and easy! We don't lose points if Schade can't attend correctly! Of course, whoever blows that fat bastard off at our first curve wins two weeks shore leave on Nymph! And for those with short memories in Tactical who were here at last year's event, Lt. Willie was trying to explain before Weapons Control was vaporized (rules/r39.htm) - forget phasers, target overrides , photons, random pot shots .. SPACE.. [..STATIC..] .. [..STATIC..] GENERAL CALIGASTIA Sargent REX - acknowledge! Sargent Rex [..STATIC..] I HATE slimy octopus, SIR! [..STATIC..] GENERAL CALIGASTIA SILENCE, ratchetjaws! Orders for your CephaLand incarnation are NO PANIC .. or Rex: lovely Dina's gonna get a hologram FULL in, in her .. PREPARE, Rex! GAWD - I HATE dinosaurs (worlds/w10.htm)! Grrr! griffin First helmsman Caligastia, s-s-Sir? Griffin WSO Holy MOTHERHSIPS! Schade back-phased that big black piece of shit, and the Hamilton vanished - it's GONE, sir! GENERAL CALIGASTIA Whaa? Princess Laetitia only joined Z-games to keep the Paracelsus (rules/r03.htm) . communications Officer <[STATIC] .. Griffin! ..[STATIC]> .. from blowing up the WHOLE FRIKKING PORT! GENERAL CALIGASTIA WHAA??? Cut coms! TRIANGULATE! BURY that lying, cheating, SONOFABITCH LOBSTER in our BACKWASH! Helm: FULL STOP! Transporter chief SIR! We just scrambled docking codes, Z space folded and the Zykor materialized! Nudnick blew up at Epsilon Eridani (poleshft/p39.htm), didn't he? GENERAL CALIGASTIA His manifest sync-locked, dummies! Onscreen! Gole - Cargo bay C40! Beam up J12s, X7s, and DX-10 disruptors and refuel in Central :gr! Back out of matrix space, NOW ! .. If I lose, High Commander - you're so through! Do you UNDERSTAND? Grrr-r-rr! GOLE M Nudnick (on coms) <[..STATIC..] Yes Sir! [..STATIC..]> COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER COMS CUT! Five's Z continuum isn't recording; we're running quantum-band diagnostics! It's out there Caligastia, but matrix space (UB 11:7) doesn't register - no ion signature! GRIFFIN WSO Oh my GAWD! Step ONE: Re-phase arrays for time warps! Step TWO: Long-range Z-scans... GENERAL CALIGASTIA ...Do I have to quote the whole PHUCKING Z Nav Best Practices? Find the HAMILTON you illiterate MORONS, GRAA-A-AAGH!! ::: Government Openness ::: Admiral, meet Ubrikkian Ascended Master E. Lohim. Greetings, Ambassador! Thank you Marion. How's Earth? F$@%#D! However, as part of Earth's new initiative to promote government openness, the United Nations is answering a citizen's question in moderated alt.alien.visitors.government ng that a Dresselian Battle Cruiser, code named Bravuryyk is really the Ubrikkian Security Agency's Dreadnought Promethean. Secretly under the temporary command of High Commander Hole Flaffer, is uncloaking now - off starboard! Ambassador Lohim would like to stay onboard the Zykor and have a word with Sub Commander Spoof .. << BZZZZZZZ-ZZZZZZZ >> High Commander! Captain 6 of 9, welcome aboard the Promethean! Why meet here, Hole Flaffer? Spoof's Top Secret orders from the Council stipulates that Earth's representatives study the Ubrikkian Advanced Research Projects Agency's Interdimensional Holotheater on Science decks A through J. How does this lil' X-file tie into Zykor's mission - Earth's protection from the approaching Ubrikkian Death Star? (See story, part 1-2) .. + Rose Travel Tours INT. O'PHARY My Tank won't fall? BULLY WILLET: My boss says we've never lost an eel on the bridge yet. Your tank is secured, Sacc! O'PHARY Thoss rose colored starfish are magnificent, Captain! BULLY WILLET: e. + Hotel Abalone CephaLand + Sky Court + Surfing the Helix EXT. SPACE -- NIGHT With Grand Island slightly above, roving camera swoops into Port [ .. ] and moves through larger to smaller stellar configurations until a large planet called Hammurabia (10x Earth's size) with several moons appears. Camera zooms to one of Hammurabian's large moons, down through the clouds, to slow to a stop just in front of a glorious courthouse with aa couple or two laughing outside near the 2nd floor entrance to court rooms. EXT. HAMMURABIA -- DAY Richard and Pseth (Sēth) hook up on Hammurabia, one of ten judicial planetoids in orbit around Splandaria, an artificially constructed planet in Indego. "Hammer" trials project sky courts that appear instantly and without notice within proximity of past, present, or future system crimes. PSETH You broke the deadlock Richard - you rock! rICHARD I thought morning's session was never going to end! Afternoon's session is projected in Crab Shack. Let's have lunch at that seafood bar! pSETH Great! Calamari pizza with onion and crab toppings! Let's go outside for a minute. Richard Pseth, rumor mill outside court this morning has it that Caligastia's defense actually proved Nudnick's guilt in a mating dance with Barbie Que on Zykor's trip over here. Pseth Her Majesty sees everything - your point? Richard Well, Caligastia and Nudnick abuse each other! Hey, the clouds just cleared, check it out! PSETH I haven't seen that in a while - below to the southeast - Diamond harbor, Richie! RICHARD Looks like a real diamond! I remember my first summons here! PSETH I've been to hundreds, thousands of these reflections! Hammurabia views are all spectacular from crystal decks! Say, wanted to give you a heads up: Sky court's Queen confirmed that the bulk of the General's testimony originated from Sargent Rex. RICHARD Nudnick's tyrannosaurus boyfriend? Pseth Her Majesty just looking for the facts. Richard Another self serving Commander tosses his career away. But, trash Water World too? Pseth For a sex toy.. Richard Waterworld's Pan-Galactic-biomatic.. Pseth ..Octo-Romance-Translator! Richard A PBOT?! Pseth Kid! Here comes the old devil now! NUDNICK What a charade! You Mesene losers are not getting away with litigious drivel! We'll crush X treachery! GRR-R-AARH! PSETH Uh, have we met? Oh my gawd, the Knave of Hearts! Y's been trying to .. Nudnick It's HIGH Commander, shit-kicker! pseth Was that Commander of the Head, or Colonel of the Urinal? NUDNICK GRRR-RRR-AAAGHH! I thought that was your horse tied to the shuttle stop! PSETH Hey! There's nothing like some hot dinosaur at night - we missed you 'toids! NUDNICK I could revoke your sky pass for that shit, cowboy! You and pimple nerd have until Crab Shack to prove you're not jury tampering! GRR-R-AAAAARH!!! PSETH I'm shaking in my boots Nunick! Richard - court's back in session - let's go!