Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.


By Phil Mitchell

GENRE: Action, Adventure

Nine Territorial Army volunteers from London are trained by the SAS, and sent on a covert mission to Africa. Their job is to kill as many elephant poachers as they can. But unfortunately they shoot a poacher in the back and the worlds press gets hold of the story, which leads to the British Government becoming nervous and pulling the plug on the operation. The team is returned to London where upon they are split into two man hit teams, and sent out around the world to start killing off the mainstream ivory buyers and ivory dealers.



Based in the UK, Kenya, and Florida.

Trained by the SAS a group of nine British army volunteers from London are sent to Africa to kill elephant poachers.

During a bloody battle in Africa eight armed poachers are shot, but one of them is shot in the back causing worldwide condemnation. The operation is cancelled, but the solution MI6 come up with is to split the guys up into two man hit teams and send them around the world killing off to the worlds top ivory dealers and ivory buyers at source.

In Florida one group kills an "Ivory Dealer" and find $ millions in his safe, that's when things change and the guys make long term plans to return to Africa to finish the job they started.


View screenplay
Sasha Stella

Very well-written screenplay. I was hooked by the first act. For me the drama was in the murder of the Moody brother. When Grant kills the brother I was totally on his side.Once they went to Africa to kill the poachers, I felt less engaged. Maybe because it was hard to feel on their side as essentially they are going there to murder people who are just trying to make a living (albeit by harming animals) . Loved the dialogue, felt real. For the reason stated, I didn't get through act 2. Reflecting, I find the premise challenging. I mean its a bunch of white guys going to kill a bunch of black guys who only exist cos a bunch of rich white guys want to buy the animals they kill. Maybe i'd be more on board if they were sickened by the sanctioned murder operation straight away and decided to go for the source - the rich ivory dealers. Maybe its the concept of murdering them rather than capturing for arrest - ie. two wrongs dont make a right. Not sure. Anyway, a very engaging read for me but the challenging morality underlying the premise lost me.

Phil Mitchell

Thanks Sasha. I completely agree with you about the white guys killing the black guys. I'm going to change it and have 4 white guys and 5 black guys in the group. Maybe turn up the horror of what the poachers are doing? OK I'm going to leave the injured ones tied up and let the authorities come and collect them. Would that might work better? Oops then the lions would get them. I'll work around that. Thanks for your input it's very much appreciated.

Nathaniel Baker

Rated this logline

register for stage 32 Register / Log In