"It's a Wonderful Life" redo - Bollywood style! Janie Fields, a Goth telemarketer who loves all things Bollywood, wishes she had never been born when her boyfriend dumps her for another woman.

SYNOPSIS:

Janie Fields, a Goth telemarketer, wishes she had never been born. Her unlikely "angel", a well-known Bollywood actor, tries to reinvent her after she is dumped by her boyfriend and can't bounce back.

Janie's Bollywood "angel" is only visible to her and her brother, Melvin, a disabled person. This invisibility to others outside the family makes for some comic, even slapstick moments.

Janie is a dynamic, yet oddly dressed telemarketer. She holds her office together as well as her many friends and family members. She has an affinity for Bollywood movies and actors. Janie is also instrumental in fostering and finding homes for stray animals for her local humane society.

One night, Janie dresses up and prepares for a lovely night out with her boyfriend, Kevin, an Army officer whom Janie nursed backed to health after he was injured in Afghanistan. She is ready for him to propose to her. Instead, he dumps her and she goes on a drinking spree, winding up at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore, MD. She wakes with the worst hangover of her life and a good looking Bollywood actor practically glued to her side monitoring her mental state. The actor, Hrithik, loves American movies and television.

Soon, Janies receives a call from her alcoholic mother, Linda Fields. Linda says she is moving to Texas, thus abandoning her son, Melvin, a special needs young man. Janies takes on the responsibility of her younger brother as she tries to bounce back from Kevin's rejection of her. Her angel, Hrithik, enlists the help of his wife, Suzanne, and the lovely Bollywood actress, Shilpa Shetty in Janie's transformation to a more ladylike, stylish woman - who no longer cusses like a sailor.

Janie seems to bounce back from the breakup with Kevin until she runs into him and his new fiancee' while jogging with Susan. Janie sinks into depression once more and vocalizes how she wishes she had never been born. She wakes the next morning to find a world where she never existed - and that her wish has come true. Worst of all, she discovers that her brother was never born, Kevin never recovered from his coma and her best friend, Trish, is a hopeless drug dealer. Janie's workplace is also defunct. Hrithik arrives and explains that every person is important and has an impact on those around them. Janie promises to no longer take those around her for granted and Hrithik's divine boss restores her to her normal life. Janie lives out her own big Bollywood movie ending on the D.C. Metro. She even has a new love interest - Sam, her neighbor who walked her dogs and loved her from afar, demonstrating that "All's Well That Ends Well".

JANIE LOVES BOLLYWOOD

Janie Loves Bollywood

by Justine A. Cowan

Justine A. Cowan 4104 Mitscher Court

Kensington, MD 20895

(240)475-3550

JANIE LOVES BOLLYWOOD

A Romantic Comedy

By Justine A. Cowan 4104 Mitscher Ct.

Kensington, MD 20895 juscowan19191@aol.com (240)475-3550

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

JANIE FIELDS, A 30-SOMETHING TELEMARKETER WITH A GOTH APPEARANCE

MELVIN FIELDS, HER YOUNGER BROTHER, A DISABLED PERSON

LINDA FIELDS, THEIR MOTHER, AN IRRESPONSIBLE ALCOHOLIC

SAM PERKINS, JANIE’S NEIGHBOR IN DUPONT CIRCLE

PAMELA MARSDEN, JANIE’S LANDLADY IN DUPONT CIRCLE

HRITHIK ROSHAN, A FAMOUS, GOOD LOOKING BOLLYWOOD ACTOR

SUSANNE KHAN ROSHAN, HRITHIK’S LOVELY WIFE

SHILPA SHETTY, A GORGEOUS,TALENTED YOUNG BOLLYWOOD ACTRESS

TRISH HOLMES, JANIE’S BEST FRIEND

FLORENCE HAMILTON, JANIE’S COWORKER, AN OLDER, PLUS-SIZED WOMAN

KEVIN SULLIVAN, JANIE’S BOYFRIEND, IN THE ARMY

LETICIA GOMEZ, A NURSE AT WALTER REED ARMY MEDICAL CENTER

SHIRLEY JACKSON, PROPRIETOR AT THE LOCAL BAKERY

VARIOUS TOURISTS IN BALTIMORE,ANGRY CUSTOMER AT BAKERY, WAITERS, SMILING SHOP OWNERS, SNOOTY SALESLADY, WACKY- LOOKING HAIRSTYLIST, YOUNG ICU NURSE, SAD OLD LADY, FRIENDLY BIKERS, ETC.

SCENE 1: THE PRESENT, INT., AN OFFICE IN WASHINGTON, D.C. LATE AFTERNOON

JANIE FIELDS works as a FIOS representative for a large well- known telephone company. She is young and attractive but hides her beauty under dark Goth makeup and shapeless black clothes with lots of spiked accessories. She sits in a small cubicle with a hands-free telephone headset on her jet black head. Her hair is styled in a kind of Goth Pippi Longstocking way. She is a people person with a friendly personality and lots of patience with her customers. Her positive, upbeat personality and efficiency inspire her coworkers to achieve results in their work.

JANIE FIELDS

(finishing her exchange with a customer)

That’s fine, Mrs. Williams. We’ll send the technician out to your house tomorrow between 9 and 11 a.m.

(pause)

What’s that? Oh yes, he’s one of our most talented employees and he’s great at diagnosing the problem you are having with the Internet. Now was there anything else I can help you with today? No? My pleasure and thanks for your business. Have a nice day.

Janie ends her call, looks at her watch, takes off her headset and puts it carefully on the desk in front of her.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

(to her coworker in the next cubicle)

Well, that’s it for me. I’m out of here!

FLORENCE HAMILTON

Isn’t tonight the big night? We all hope you’ll have some big news for us on Monday morning!

JANIE FIELDS

I sure hope so too, Flo! All I can say that after dating Kevin for six years, off and on, putting up with all the crap he’s been through with his family and all, and him getting injured in Afghanistan, he better propose!

FLORENCE HAMILTON

He will, hon, I can feel it in my big bones! I remember how you visited him every day in the hospital last year after he came home - how you stuck with him through his rehab and that terrible depression of his.

JANIE FIELDS

It was rough but I made it through and more importantly, so did he.

That’s all in the past now, thank God! Oh well, got to run! The reservation is for seven and I still have to dash home and get myself beautiful!

FLORENCE HAMILTON

Good luck, Janie-girl!

She blows her a kiss as she runs out the door.

FADE TO:

SCENE 2: INT., JANIE’S APARTMENT, DUPONT CIRCLE, AN HOUR LATER

Janie lives in a small apartment with her many pets and a plethora of adopted animals that she “fosters” for the local animal shelter. Music by “The Cure” blares from speakers as Janie finishes getting dressed. Her DVD plays one of her favorite Bollywood movies, starring the handsome HRITHIK ROSHAN and SHILPA SHETTY, two of her favorite Bollywood actors. The movie playing shows a party scene with dancing and singing in true Bollywood fashion.

Janie is on the phone with her friend, TRISH HOLMES, who is giving her fashion advice.

JANIE FIELDS

(to Trish)

Yes, I do own some clothes that aren’t black! My God, Trish, it’s like you think I’m a frickin’ mortician, or something! I do have somefashion sense and even bought a great red dress for tonight. Now hang up so I can go accept my fabulous offer to become Mrs. Kevin Sullivan and raise a dozen little Irish-American babies! Of course I’ll call you and tell you all about the ring later tonight. Now, hang up! I’m nervous enough!

Janie hangs up the phone. She finishes getting dressed and looks at herself in the mirror. A favorite scene comes on the DVD she is watching and she starts to dance along with the actors in the film. Janie dances and spins around in her lovely dress.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

(to her adopted pet menagerie)

OK everyone, how do I look? I’m a little nervous. This is a big night for me and I want everything to go perfectly!

She walks to the corner of her kitchen where a cage of parakeets and another larger cage with a cockatoo are placed on stands off the ground.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

Hello Angus. Hello Paulie and Miss Mary. How are you doing tonight?

Aw. You are all so beautiful and happy. God - I wish I never had anything to worry about like you guys. It must be a great life to just sit in a cage and sing, eat and poop all day! Bye, Bye my sweeties!

She whistles and blows them a kiss. The birds respond and start to sing for her, accompanying the Bollywood music in the movie. The phone rings and Janie reaches for the handset on the kitchen counter and picks it up.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

Hello? No, you idiot, this is not the Mrs. Fields of Mrs. Fields cookies! Now stop calling me!

(MORE)

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

If I ever find out who you are...God help me I’m going to come after you and press criminal charges against you, your momma, your boss and everyone you’ve ever known in your whole pitiful life...you’re going to wish you’d never been born! You maggot! UGH!

She slams down the phone and then checks her watch.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

(to the two cats in the kitchen with her)

See Fluffy, Mr. Whiskers, that’s what happens when you have a number listed in the frickin’ D.C. White Pages! I should have had an unlisted number!

She turns off the TV. The cats come toward Janie and rub against her. Their purring is loud and serves to calm her down. She puts some dry food in their bowls, checks how she looks once more in the mirror and then heads out the door.

SCENE 3: PROOF RESTAURANT, WASHINGTON, D.C. LATER THAT NIGHT

Janie and KEVIN SULLIVAN are finishing their meal, holding hands across the table. Kevin, with red hair and freckles, is dressed in a stylish dark blue suit. Janie is wearing a deep red dress with a lovely Balinese shawl with gold trim loosely draped across her shoulders. Her lipstick matches her dress and for once, her hair, normally in a funky Goth style with clips, etc. is soft and feminine, framing her face.

JANIE FIELDS

Kev, the meal was wonderful! The cake was extra special too.

Thank you! You made this a really special night for me. Look, I even wore the pearl necklace you gave me for Valentine’s Day. Isn’t this the one you brought me from Bahrain?

(she pauses, beams at him and smiles)

I know I’ll remember this night forever - for the rest of my life - for our lives.

KEVIN SULLIVAN

What do you mean, our lives? What are you talking about? You’re freaking me out here, Babe!

He pours more wine into her glass. She starts to tap her fingers on the table.

JANIE FIELDS

(giggling nervously)

Oh come on, don’t give me that innocent little boy act! I’m not stupid you know! I know perfectly well why you brought me here tonight! A girl feels, down deep in her soul, in her bones, when her guy is about to propose to her! I mean, we don’t come here very often

- only for my birthday or last time when you were promoted to 1st Lieutenant - remember?

KEVIN SULLIVAN

(somberly for such a young man)

Of course I remember. It was after I came home from Afghanistan - after Sid and Tomlinson were wasted when they were about to come home and the Army felt like promoting me to keep me fighting for them.

(bitterly, getting somewhat lost in renewed grief for his friends)

You know, young men and women are always the ones to go to war - to die for a cause that some old men determine to be worthy enough to waste lives over while they’re in their great big cushy offices on Capitol Hill, or wherever...I guess young people are expendable!

JANIE FIELDS

(trying to change the subject)

Yes, I know. Do you remember how great that night was - with your family there and all? That was a big night for you. You looked so handsome in your dress uniform! I always fall in love with you all over again when you wear that uniform!

Kevin takes a few moments to gather his thoughts before he responds to her. He looks down at his hands and then reaches to put his hand on top of Janie’s. He becomes very serious.

KEVIN SULLIVAN

You’ve always been there for me, Babe. I can’t thank you enough for sticking with me, especially when I was at Walter Reed, recovering from the blast. But things have changed. I’m not the same person I used to be.

He reaches down and rubs his artificial leg with the renewed memory of his injury. Their waiter awkwardly comes over to their table with the check and they stop talking long enough for Kevin to get out his credit card and pay for the meal.

WAITER AT PROOF

(to both of them)

Would you care for some more coffee, Sir, Ma’am?

They both shake their heads. The waiter leaves and they continue their discussion.

JANIE FIELDS

You know I don’t give a damn about your leg, whether it’s real or fake or anything! I thought I made myself perfectly clear about that in the hospital!

KEVIN SULLIVAN

You did. I remember.

JANIE FIELDS

Kevin, what’s wrong? I don’t understand! Tell me!

(raising her voice slightly above the subdued, elegantly dressed diners and low jazz music)

It sounds like you’re telling me goodbye!

She pulls her hand away from his and half stands up from the table. The patrons around them start to stare at her because of her raised voice.

KEVIN SULLIVAN

I have to just come out and tell you, Janie.

(MORE)

KEVIN SULLIVAN (CONT'D)

It’s not fair to string you along like this. After all you’ve done for me.

JANIE FIELDS

(yelling)

Dammit, Kev, tell me! Stop screwing with me! Be a man!

KEVIN SULLIVAN

I can’t see you anymore. Plain and simple. It’s over between us.

I’ve found someone else. She works at Walter Reed. She’s a nurse in the Psych Ward - she’s helped me a lot these last few months. She “gets me”, understands just what I’ve been through. You know, with the loss of my buddies and all, with the shock of constant bombing and all that war shit, being shot at and blown up by an IAD - all that I had to go through and I didn’t even have the decency to come home in one piece! I’m sorry. So sorry. I feel so bad!

JANIE FIELDS

You feel bad! You feel bad! Poor little you! Stop feeling so goddamn sorry for yourself! Always you!

You, you, you! You lousy asshole! I was always good and faithful to you! I didn’t always have to be you know, especially when you were gone for six or eight months at a time! I could have hooked up at clubs with cute guys any time I wanted to! I hate your guts!

(she starts to cry hysterically)

KEVIN SULLIVAN

(standing up to try to console her)

Now come on, Janie. Calm down. This doesn’t look good. You must have seen this coming. I mean, we haven’t exactly been getting along lately. All the fights and then those long silences between us.

All the mean words we’ve said to each other. We were stuck in a rut.

JANIE FIELDS

(still sobbing)

All couples get in a rut once in a while! You’re such a moron!

KEVIN SULLIVAN

You deserve someone much better.

JANIE FIELDS

I’m sure I do but I want you! I still love you! After six long years together and all the endless trips I made to the hospital after work, you’re just going to dump me like yesterday’s leftovers? Who the hell do you think you are, soldier boy? Don’t you know we were supposed to have four beautiful kids together? I already picked out all their names - Patrick, Catherine, Aidan and Liam! All perfectly good Irish Catholic names to please your lousy bitch of an overbearing mother!

She slaps him hard across the face and he pulls back.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

I hope your nurse gives you crabs! I hope you are very happy together playing doctor and patient! You dumb jerk - you don’t know how good you had it with me!

Janie grabs the rest of the bottle of wine. She raises it in anger and then holds it up, considering if she will smack him with the bottle and knock him to the floor or drink the rest of the wine. She starts to do the latter in the middle of the restaurant.

The waiter returns with Kevin’s change. He takes in the scene with Janie, Kevin, their fresh breakup and the potentially lethal bottle of wine.

WAITER AT PROOF

Are you okay, Ma’am? Can I help you with anything?

JANIE FIELDS

Yeah. You can point me in the direction of a real bar with real drinks!

(MORE)

JANIE FIELDS (CONT'D)

(loudly to Kevin so that everyone in the restaurant can hear her)

Don’t bother ever calling me again! And, when that teenylittle penis of yours falls off, just remember that you deserve it for the way you treated me! Good riddance!

A few of the patrons snicker at her insults. One of the women near her claps and says “you go girl”. Janie walks out with the wine bottle in her hands after the waiter has given her directions to a few local bars. The restaurant returns to normal. Kevin, obviously embarrassed, settles with the waiter and leaves soon after.

FADE TO:

SCENE 4: EXT., INNER HARBOR, BALTIMORE, THE NEXT MORNING

Janie has been drinking all night and is still quite drunk. She was so intoxicated that she hitched a ride from Washington, D.C. To Baltimore, MD with a friendly group of Harley Davidson bikers. She told them she had a friend in Baltimore and that she would be safe waiting for the friend at the Inner Harbor. She passed out before she could call her friend and wakes up on a weekend morning, late, with tourists staring at her.

FEMALE TOURIST

(to Janie)

Are you okay, hon? You don’t look so good. Is there anyone I can call for you? I have my cell phone right here.

JANIE FIELDS

Ow...my head. What happened last night? What? Where am I?

A good looking man in a white suit walks over to Janie. He carries a large fold-out map.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

I think this is downtown Baltimore, the oldest port city in the United States. At least that’s what it says here on the map.

He shows her the unfolded, colorful map. She is still too drunk to pay attention to what’s going on.

Janie rolls over and is able to only half-sit up.

FEMALE TOURIST

(handing her a five dollar bill)

Here, hon. This will help you get home on the bus.

JANIE FIELDS

I’m not homeless but thanks. That was kind of you to help me, ma’am. I usually don’t do this kind of thing.

The tourists that helped her walk in the other direction.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

My, that was nice of her! I always thought Americans were kinder than they looked.

JANIE FIELDS

Ow! How much did I drink last night? And most importantly, how did I end up in downtown Baltimore? Where’s my purse? Where’s my cell phone? I have to call Trish!

Janie wakes up even further and rubs her eyes. She shields them from the sun and holds her head in her hands due to her terrible hangover.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

I think your purse is there next to you.

He points to the ground.

JANIE FIELDS

Why do you keep talking to me? And, who the hell are you? A figment of my imagination or the result of my last shot of vodka?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Do you mean that you don’t recognize me? I’m so hurt!

He pretends to cry.

JANIE FIELDS

Well, you’re sure not the Tooth Fairy or Santa Clause!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Miss Fields, I am so offended! I know you’ve seen all my movies about ten times each! Oh, I forgot. Shilpa said you might be just a little difficult to deal with this morning.

He hands her an ornate long glass tea cup with a silver handle that seems to appear out of nowhere. She takes it.

JANIE FIELDS

You mean Shilpa - Shilpa Shetty? Of current Bollywood fame?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

That’s the one! Now, if you want to feel a bit more human and not like your head is spinning in harmony with the cosmic universe, I suggest you drink this. Trust me. It will make you feel better quickly. It’s like magic. It’s my dear grandmother’s remedy. Blessings on her.

JANIE FIELDS

Wait a minute. What’s going on here? Explain please.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

I won’t tell you what’s happening until you can identify me. Just try to clear your mind and concentrate. Think, Think hard - my dear Janie. Fabulous smile, Indian god-like, bronzed and handsome face, slim, muscular body, and perfect hair!

JANIE FIELDS

Holy Shit! Are you really him? I mean, Hrithik Roshan! I love you! You are so talented!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

That’s the one! You got it, sister! Isn’t that what they say here in the States?

JANIE FIELDS

You dance better than John Travolta in “Saturday Night Fever” - you know? You’re a hunk and a half!

Probably my favorite Bollywood actor - you know?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

By the way, my first task is to get you to stop talking like a sailor!

JANIE FIELDS

What the fu..? Sorry. It’s my poor childhood, I’m sure. Mom was, is, a drunk and Dad ditched us after Melvin was born. I had to grow up faster than most kids.

Responsibility you know.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

As they say here, “It’s all good”. By the way, my Indian name gets a little stuck in peoples’ throats. All my friends call me Bobby. Feel free.

JANIE FIELDS

You got it, bro! Dude, you rock my world! Wait until I tell Trish that I saw you! By the way, how did you get here? Are you on tour in the States? I didn’t read about it anywhere - as far as I can remember.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Not exactly. Sorry, I can’t tell you much right now. That’s not part of the deal.

JANIE FIELDS

Deal? By the way, that concoction works fast. What’s in it? I don’t feel like puking anymore. Amazing!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Great. I was talking about something that a certain someone up there created for me.

He points to the sky. Janie shrugs her shoulders.

JANIE FIELDS

Sorry. I don’t believe in God. Haven’t since I was a kid.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Don’t tell that to him. He sure believes in you! Anyway, I’m Hindu. We have a different name for ourbig guy!

JANIE FIELDS

Oh. Cool. I’m into all that tolerance and love and universal consciousness crap and stuff. Oh, sorry! I forgot!

She puts her hand over her mouth in embarrassment.

But, why did you have to mention guys? I just got dumped by one of the most wonderful guys I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing!

Janie starts to cry again like drunk people do when they’re sentimental and loving to everyone.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Oh. Please don’t cry! I hate it when women cry! When I was a kid in India, I remember many times when my mother’s nan didn’t come out the way she wanted it. She would cry until my dad came home and then he reassured her that it wasn’t the end of the world! I hate it when Susan cries too. It makes me crazy! I feel like it’s my fault, like I hurt her somehow.

She says it’s just her hormones! I just can’t take it!

JANIE FIELDS

I’m sorry. I can’t stop thinking about him - that lousy bastard! Is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Yeah. Sure. That has happened to me more times than I care to remember. But I still didn’t give up on love.

JANIE FIELDS

(not hearing what he said) What do you think? How could he dump me for that nurse after all I did for him! God, I hate men!

She starts to cry again. Her head hurts because of her hangover and she stops crying long enough to rub her temples.

Hritik tries to hug her but he’s invisible, like a ghost without any substance. He tries to touch her and pat her on the back but she can’t feel it.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

(like a loving brother or father)

Dearest Janie. Not all of us of the male gender are lousy. There are a quite a few great guys who would appreciate you, who would see you as the special woman that you are. Believe me!

JANIE FIELDS

You think?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Now come on! Would I lie to you? Especially about something as important as that!

At that moment, Janie’s cell phone rings in her purse. She is still recovering from the effects of the alcohol and can’t function very well. She scrambles to find it and manages to answer it on the last ring. Her best friend, Trish, is calling her.

JANIE FIELDS

(responding to Trish’s questions)

No. I’m fine. Thank God you called! Can you go over to my apartment and feed everyone? I know they won’t be able to wait any longer. Thanks! You’re a peach!

Janie listens to Trish on the other end of the line for a few moments. During this conversation, Hrithik paces back and forth comically to take Janie’s mind off her dilemma. He makes her chuckle as he walks up to one of the stores in the Inner Harbor and checks his hair in the store’s windows, straightens his gold chains, fixing his collar and primping like a typical movie star.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

(to himself so that Janie can’t hear him)

Why am I checking how I look? Janie is the only one who can see me anyway. Maybe Susan is right when she says I’m more vain than anyone she’s ever met -actors and actresses included.

(looking up at the sky)

Did you send me on this assignment for a reason? Like, learning to be more humble and concentrate on the soul just not the face?

Janie is still talking to Trish.

JANIE FIELDS

I’ll tell you all about it when I get home. Promise. No, I’ll find a way back. You don’t have to drive all the way up here to pick up pathetic little me! I managed to get my drunk ass up here from D.C., wherever it was that I finally left from, I don’t remember! Shit, Trish, I don’t remember anything after I left the restaurant!

Hrithik clears his throat to bring attention to her continued use of profanity.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

(to Hrithik, slightly annoyed)

OK! OK! Give me time to change my habits! I can’t just stop cussing in one day! That’s a lot to ask!

Plus, I’m still wasted!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Just try. That’s all I ask.

JANIE FIELDS

(to Trish on the phone)

No, not you, hon. I was talking to someone else and frankly, he’s starting to really piss me off!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

That’s it. Sorry. The big guy authorized corporal punishment in your case!

(MORE)

HRITHIK ROSHAN (CONT'D)

It’s going to be hard to retrain you, Miss Janie! You sure need some behavior modification, though!

This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you!

He walks over to where Janie is standing and spanks her a few times on her backside.

JANIE FIELDS

(in pain from his unexpected spanking)

Ow! That hurts! I’m starting to not like you anymore! Somehow you looked more appealing when you were in one of your movies!

(irritated, to Trish who is still on the other end of the phone)

Again, I’m definitely not talking to you! There is someone else here! Argh! I’ll call you when I get back to the apartment! Yes, I have my credit card and a little cash.

Don’t worry! I’ll get home safely!

She hangs up her cell phone.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

What was that for?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Your naughty mouth! (to himself)

Boy, American women are tough! (to Janie)

If my job here is to help you, cause some positive changes in your life that will put you back on the right path, then the first step has got to be to teach you how to calm down and act like a lady! Do you get it? That includes ridding you of your foul words and crude behavior. Guys don’t like girls that use swear words - they want someone like their sister or mother, not some trampy-mouthed vixen who looks so scary that she could bite his head off! They want someone they can tolerate the rest of their lives - someone nurturing! You know - “Women are from Mars and Men are from Venus”?

JANIE FIELDS

(laughing hard)

Dude, it’s the other way around! “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus!” But, I always thought that guys...

HRITHIK ROSHAN

(reading her thoughts)

As they say on Oprah’s Show - don’t you dare go there, girl! No, they really don’t. They might act like they think it’s cool and fabulous when their girlfriends swear, burp and fart like them, but they don’t want to say what how they really want them to act. They’re too scared that they won’t get any sex if they speak up! Get it?

JANIE FIELDS

I’m starting to.

She rubs her head.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

Do you have any Tylenol? Advil? Any water?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

No, sorry. I was only supposed to arrive with what I was wearing when I was on set - not even a change of underwear allowed!

Janie looks him up and down closely for a moment.

HRITHIK ROSHAN (CONT’D)

By the way, it’s briefs, not boxers!

Janie blushes.

JANIE FIELDS

Hrithik, oh, I forgot, Bobby, how do you know what I’m thinking? It’s weird, dude! The only other person who can do that is my little brother, Melvin. It must be because he’s a special ed kind of guy. Plus we’re close. But you, you know what I’m thinking or what I’m going to say before I can even say it! Creepy!

Hrithink shrugs.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Enough about that. I don’t know what to say. Let’s move on to more important things, OK? I’d be happy to buy you a cup of coffee and some breakfast. You’ll feel stronger.

JANIE FIELDS

At this point, I’ll do whatever you want! Let’s go. Then, we had better find ourselves some transportation back to D.C. Tomorrow is Monday and I have to work. I guess I have to come back down to earth, to reality of how much my life sucks. God, I’m going to be one of those pathetic overweight women in their 50s with no kids, no guy, no prospects. You know, the kind of women with lots and lots of cats that sits at Starbuck’s alone reading a thick romantic novel, drinking one of those frozen concoctions until the place closes.

(tearing up again)

I thought I’d be spending a romantic weekend with Kevin, preparing for our wedding, planning and hoping. Just content and happy, safe and hopeful. But it could always be worse - you know?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

How?

JANIE FIELDS

Well, I could have punched Kevin in the face, busted his big nose and landed him on the floor of that snobby place! He had it coming, after all! Actually, maybe you’re just a figment of my imagination and I’m stuck in a hallucinatory state somewhere in a holding cell!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Well. Yes. He is not worthy of you. You know that now, don’t you?

JANIE FIELDS

I guess. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I can do better than Kevin.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

You’re a little rough around the edges but I’ll do my best to polish you into a precious gem!

JANIE FIELDS

What?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

I was just saying that I’ve never seen anyone like you - in India or anywhere else in the world. You’ve hit the bottom of the barrel and you’re starting to bounce back!

JANIE FIELDS

I think the expression you’re looking for is rock bottom and thanks for that reminder.

(sarcastically)

It’s always wonderful and happy to be reminded of how lousy your life is at the moment. How I’ve been dumped and I wind up with the worst hangover of my life, alone, without a way to get back home, in the middle of the frickin’ Baltimore Inner Harbor!

He spanks her once again, more playfully this time.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

(angrily, starting to come after him)

Stop it already, Bobby! I get the message! Don’t cuss! I’ll try, that’s all I can say. I am under a little pressure here, a little stress over my very recent breakup! Gimme a break!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

You remembered! You called me Bobby! It’s a first step. Come on. It’s almost time for lunch. Let’s see what they have here in Bal-mer! Do you now that this city is the home of Nick’s Mighty Gyro Palace and Homicide Life on the Streets?

JANIE FIELDS

Dude, you have got to stop watching so much TV! Everything in the States is not based on television advertising! Believe it or not lots of us enjoy reading and live music and lots of other great things!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Well, Miss Janie, you have got to stop with this “Dude” foolishness. I’m not John Wayne! I do not wear those chaps type of trousers and wrestle with cows and rope horses! This is not the Turner Class Movie channel! We are definitely not Home on the Range!

JANIE FIELDS

Let’s just agree to disagree! Now it’s old references to films my grandmother watched when she was young! Can you just be quiet for a while? Please?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

I will. So sorry. I wonder if there is any good Indian food around here.

JANIE FIELDS

All I want is coffee and lots of it!

She holds her stomach, trying not to throw up again. Hrithik nods and they walk off together.

FADE TO:

SCENE 5: EXT., DUPONT CIRCLE, LATER THAT DAY

Janie has managed to hitch a ride home with some more motorcyclists. Hrithik is also riding on the back of one of the motorcycles and he trips and falls to the curb as he gets down from the bike. Janie dismounts from the back of one of the bikes, which are Harley Davidsons, driven by a motley but friendly leather-clad bunch.

JANIE FIELDS

(to the bikers) Thanks for the ride, boys!

(MORE)

JANIE FIELDS (CONT'D)

Come by my apartment next week - here’s my address in case you forget.

(she hands one of them a card)

We agreed on next week - Wednesday’s good for all of us, remember? I’ll cook you my grandma’s famous Sicilian lasagna! With Nonna Maria’s to-die-for cannoli as the finale!

1ST FRIENDLY BIKER

Sounds great, Janie! I haven’t had any decent home cooked meals since my old lady kicked me out!

2ND FRIENDLY BIKER

Can we bring anything? Wine? Beer?

JANIE FIELDS

(to herself under her breath while belching sporadically)

For God’s sake, guys, don’t mention booze - I’m still under the influence of my self-inflicted sympathy binge drinking hell - most of which I don’t remember!

(to the bikers)

Naw, just bring yourselves. I got it covered! Granny would roll over in her grave if I let you bring anything when you are all my invited guests! Tootles boys!

She blows them all a collective kiss and they ride away.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

(sitting on the curb, pretending to “rev” the engines with his hands)

Easy Rider! My favorite American movie! When that film came out I was just a young guy, I wasn’t famous and successful yet. I saved for months and months to buy leather pants and a Levis jeans jacket. Those were good, happy, simple times. Can we do that again?

JANIE FIELDS

What?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Hitchhike and catch a wicked ride on the back of a motorcycle - with the highway under our feet and the wind in our hair! I’ll have to tell Susan that I did another first.

JANIE FIELDS

What are you mumbling about? First, what?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

It’s a bit silly, I know, but anytime one of us does something for the first time we call each other right away to describe the experience. It’s our tradition. We even do it when we’re filming in different locations.

JANIE FIELDS

Corny but cute...and a bit romantic, I must say.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Enough of that. Thinking about her is painful right now. She’s back in Mumbai. Let’s get back to you and your life. We should really get started.

JANIE FIELDS

Started with what? Listen, I’ve got animals to feed and laundry to wash. Plus, I have to pick up my brother for dinner in a few hours. He lives in Silver Spring so I have to take the Metro.

Her phone rings. It is her friend Trish.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

Yeah, I just got home. No, I think I’m going to live. By the way, if you see me drinking that much ever again you have my permission to put me in handcuffs, punch me in the face, call my grandma or whatever it takes to make me stop! I actually wanted to have someone shoot me today - it would have felt better to die than suffer the way I did! All over a lousy man!

(MORE)

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

(she pauses to listen to Trish)

OK. See you in a few.

Janie looks around for Hrithik who has disappeared. She walks up the steps into her apartment building.

FADE TO:

SCENE 6: INT., JANIE’S APARTMENT, THE NEXT MORNING, A WORKDAY

Janie wakes up early and starts to get out of bed. She holds her head, rubs her temples, puts on her flip flops and walks into her small black and white Art Deco kitchen. She makes coffee and waits until it is ready. After a few moments, she hears her shower running. Confused and startled, she walks towards the bathroom. Before she opens the door she grabs a baseball bat from the umbrella stand.

JANIE FIELDS

(while opening the door) Trish? Is that you? I know you have a key and everything but why didn’t you let me know you were here? Why didn’t you wake me?

The water stops and the shower curtain opens.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Good morning, sunshine! I let you sleep a little late today!

Janie drops the baseball bat and starts to scream. She runs back into the kitchen and then out into the hall. Loud television news broadcasts and radios emanate from neighboring apartments. It is early, but some of her neighbors are awake getting ready for work as well. Her next door neighbor, SAM PERKINS quickly emerges from his apartment.

SAM PERKINS

(very concerned, to Janie) Janie! Are you alright? I heard you screaming from inside my bathroom and came right out! What happened?

(looking at her)

God, you’re white as a sheet! Did you see a ghost? A mouse? A zombie from hell? Elvis or Michael Jackson? What’s up?

Janie is out of breath and tries to compose herself long enough to answer him. Suddenly Hrithik comes out of Janie’s apartment wearing her white terry cloth robe. She backs away from him and moves behind Sam.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

(to Janie)

I’m sorry to have startled you, Janie! Didn’t you know I slept in your living room chair last night? Don’t you remember anything from yesterday? The Inner Harbor?

Baltimore? The ride home on those great motorcycles?

JANIE FIELDS

It’s coming back slowly, unfortunately. Now, what were you doing in my shower?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Just cleaning up. That’s all.

JANIE FIELDS

Wha? Who? What’s going on? Are you still here? I thought you were a figment of my imagination - from the worst hangover of my life!

SAM PERKINS

Janie, who are you talking to? Is this a joke? It’s way too early for this - I haven’t even had my first cup of coffee!

JANIE FIELDS

You mean you don’t see him?

SAM PERKINS

See who? What’s going on here? How much did you drink last night, kiddo?

JANIE FIELDS

Nothing, I swear! Shall I describe him? I’m sure you’ve seen one of his movies. Remember the time I hosted the floor dinner party? Last winter? We watched a Bollywood movie with our dessert. It starred that good looking actor with the wavy brown hair and the crisp white suit. He danced in the final scene and wound up with the girl.

(MORE)

JANIE FIELDS (CONT'D)

Do you remember? That’s the guy that’s haunting me! Hrithik Roshan!

Samuel doesn’t really hear her. He looks into her apartment from his position in the hallway. He is still concerned for her safety.

SAM PERKINS

Was it a rat that scared you? A large cockroach? I know rats outnumber people in D.C. - it’s always in the newspapers. They’re all disgusting and dirty. Do you want me to check out your apartment?

Before Janie can answer his question her dogs, Ruthie and Tex both border collies, come running out the open apartment door. They start barking uncontrollably at Hrithik until he reaches down, introduces himself as one does with dogs, and they relax.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Okay you two. That’s enough. I’m not going to hurt you or your mistress. Trust me. Now sit and be good dogs.

They sit obediently next to him.

(to Janie)

By the way, did you know that he is secretly in love with you?

JANIE FIELDS

You mean, Sam? No, I had no idea. How do you know that? Can you read peoples’ minds? That’s so cool.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

When I was assigned your case I received a fact sheet all about you, your life, your work, your hopes and dreams, your friends, those around you.

SAM PERKINS

(thinking that Janie was just talking to him)

Yeah, what’s up?

JANIE FIELDS

Nothing. Sorry. I was just talking about you with...never mind!

SAM PERKINS

Now that I see you’re alright I’m going back in. I’ve got to get ready for work. Do you want me to walk Ruthie and Tex when I get home? Is tonight your late night at work?

JANIE FIELDS

(distracted)

Yeah, sure. Thanks Sam.

He goes back into his own apartment.

(to Hrithik)

Let’s go inside and talk. I don’t want to attract any more attention from the neighbors - thank you very much!

FADE TO:

SCENE 7: INT, JANIE’S APARTMENT, A FEW MINUTES LATER

Janie, Hrithik and the dogs return to her apartment and close the door behind them. She motions for him to sit.

JANIE FIELDS

Okay. Okay. I get the part about no one else seeing you - only poor unfortunate messed - up little me. Is this a curse? Why is this happening to me? Why have I been singled out?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Well, let’s go back a little bit.

JANIE FIELDS

Go back as far as you want. Reassure me that I’m not going Looney Tunes!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Every once in a while, someone who’s in a lot of pain, in danger of committing suicide or even worse catches my boss’s attention.

JANIE FIELDS

I wasn’t going to kill myself! The thought never entered my mind...promise!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Are you sure you remember everything about the past few days? Every thought? Every feeling? Every joy and frustration?

JANIE FIELDS

(pausing to reflect)

I’m not 100% sure about that. I was pretty drunk - the drunkest I’ve been since my amazing 21st birthday party. God, that party was great!

Do you want to hear about it?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Maybe some other time. Thanks.

JANIE FIELDS

Getting back to what you asked me, night. I might have thought about jumping off the top of my building or throwing myself into the filthy Potomac River briefly. I don’t know - can’t say for sure.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Anyway. Like I was saying. My boss was worried about you. Every soul is important in the cosmos, in the bigger scheme of things. Yours is of particular interest to him.

He can’t tell me why though even though I asked him over and over.

JANIE FIELDS

Yeah, sure. I understand all that cosmic Eastern philosophy stuff. I always thought that the Hindus and mystics and all those monks in red robes and all those other folks were right on track with that part about everyone mattering, being part of the whole universal piece of pizza, yada, yada, yada. That if one slice was missing everyone suffered!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Well, I’ve never quite heard it described like that! Your Pizza Hut analogy is definitely unique! In fact, it’s making me hungry.

JANIE FIELDS

It’s just one of my little tricks you know. I can picture ideas better when I put them in food terms. It’s always worked for me. I was never any good at math growing up, in fact I sucked! It was interesting and all but anyway. My breakthrough came when my teacher explained fractions with chocolate chip cookies, I nailed It! The light went off in my head!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

(a bit frustrated with Janie)

Now, getting back to what we were talking about a few minutes ago - you might not realize it, Janie, but many people depend on you, directly and indirectly. You bring hope and joy - especially to the people that adopt the pets you take in. And, you raise morale and productivity, even levels of customer satisfaction in your workplace.

JANIE FIELDS

I guess. Sounds good on paper but somehow I just don’t believe what you’re saying. I’m just a lowly ant, just a cog in the machine as they say. I have a college degree in mathematics and I’m working as a FIOS Internet representative sitting in a cubicle all day! Where is my life headed? I’ll tell you, Bobby - it’s going absolutely frickin’ nowhere! Fast too! After all, I’m not a surgeon doing heart transplants, in the Peace Corps or working for Doctors Without Borders fixing poor little kids cleft palates! I’ll never be an airplane pilot that avoids crashing into a populated city and lands safely in the water! I’m no hero! I’m as ordinary and boring as they come!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Oh really?

JANIE FIELDS

Why don’t I just crawl under a rock for the rest of my days? Huh?

It’s obvious to me especially after Kevin dumped me for that nurse.

I’m no one, nothing special and easily replaced. I’m a freak! Just look at me! No wonder Kevin didn’t want to marry me!

He looks at her and smiles.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

I look like a Goth version of Pippy Longstocking or something! Or like the girl on the Wendy’s logo but instead of a striped dress and pinafore I’m wearing leather and ripped up death’s head clothing!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Your appearance is easy to change. It’s what’s inside that matters more, you know? I for one am sorry to hear that you think all those negative things about yourself. I’d like nothing more than to somehow prove you wrong. Please excuse me a moment. I need to go have a confidential consultation with my boss.

JANIE FIELDS

Yeah, whatever. Go ahead, talk to the head of the cosmic universe.

Talk to the ghost of frickin Walt Disney if you want! I for one, have to go get ready for work.

Someone’s got to pay for the rent and all the Kibbles and Bits around her! Let me grab some more coffee first.

She gets her coffee and heads to her bedroom at the back of the apartment. Hrithik walks into the small kitchen. Suddenly the phone rings. It is Janie’s mother, LINDA FIELDS.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

(to her mother)

Hi Mom. What’s up? Yeah. I’m getting dressed right now. Can I put you on speaker phone? I’m kind of in a hurry. Great. Thanks.

LINDA FIELDS

Are you alone?

JANIE FIELDS

Yes, unfortunately. I guess I haven’t told you about Kevin.

LINDA FIELDS

What happened?

JANIE FIELDS

We went out Saturday to a great place. I was sure he was going to propose. We had been together so long, I just expected it. Instead, he dumped me.....right there in the middle of Proof, one of the nicest restaurants in D.C.!

LINDA FIELDS

Oh honey! I’m so sorry that happened. The jerk - I never liked him in his short haircut, “Sir” and “Ma’am”, stupid rules he had to follow and Army uniform. There are plenty of other guys out there...that are not like robots!

Don’t worry, you’ll find someone else.

JANIE FIELDS

Mom, why are you calling me this early?

LINDA FIELDS

I’ll just come out and say it.

JANIE FIELDS

Say what? You’re scaring me! Are you okay? Is Melvin okay? Granny? Talk to me!

LINDA FIELDS

Janie. I’m tired. Really tired.

JANIE FIELDS

Mom, we’re all tired. I don’t remember the last time I got a good night’s sleep.

LINDA FIELDS

I’m not talking about physically tired. I mean emotionally tired, mentally tired.

(MORE)

LINDA FIELDS (CONT'D)

I’m tired of all the things that I have to do - all the time!

JANIE FIELDS

What do you mean by that? Talk to me.

LINDA FIELDS

I mean like caring for your brother and your grandmother! I want to be free - be on my own and carefree for once without any ties or burdens to drag me down.

JANIE FIELDS

What? We all have responsibilities, Mom. That’s life if you haven’t noticed! But there can be plenty of good times too. It’s not always bad. I remember a lot of good times together. Really goodtimes, Mom. Don’t you remember?

LINDA FIELDS

Not really - it was crappy all the time as far as I remember. Working two jobs, getting your brother into that special school, living in that dump of an apartment in Southeast.

JANIE FIELDS

But that was your job - you’re a parent! Parents are supposed to do things like that!

LINDA FIELDS

Anyway. Enough about all that. I’m living in the here and now, not in the past. It’s time I thought about myself for a change!

Glasses and bottles clinking together are heard in the background as Linda tries to speak over the noise.

JANIE FIELDS

Mom, where are you?

LINDA FIELDS

I’m at Manny’s on U Street.

JANIE FIELDS

It’s not even eight o’clock in the morning and you’re at a bar?

LINDA FIELDS

They open early to serve the working man. Anyway, I’m here with Paul. Did you ever meet him, honey?

(responding to a question asked of her at the bar)

LINDA FIELDS (CONT’D)

Sure, but this time make it a real drink!

JANIE FIELDS

I don’t know what else to say to you, Mom. I really don’t!

LINDA FIELDS

Just wish me luck in my new life. That’s all. We’re going to Texas to live on Paul’s brother’s ranch.

It’s near the border.

JANIE FIELDS

So, I assume that Melvin will have to come live with me now. Right? And Grandma?

LINDA FIELDS

She’s fine at Leisure World. Grandpa’s will left her pretty well off.

JANIE FIELDS

Did you even say goodbye to Melvin?

LINDA FIELDS

I didn’t want to upset him. He wouldn’t understand.

JANIE FIELDS

(sarcastically, then angrily)

Oh yes he would! He’d understand perfectly well that his mother loves booze and screwing strange guys more than she loves her own son! More than she accepts her responsibilities for her own kids!

Linda hangs up the phone on Janie after this outburst. Janie starts to cry and Hrithik tries to comfort her.

FADE TO:

SCENE 8: EXT., A STREET NEAR JANIE’S APARTMENT, LATER THAT DAY

Janie, her brother MELVIN FIELDS and HRITHIK ROSHAN walk back from Melvin’s school. Janie and Melvin carry some of Melvin’s belongings.

JANIE FIELDS

(to Melvin)

So, do you understand what’s happening, Mel?

MELVIN FIELDS

I think so. Mom went away.

JANIE FIELDS

What else, buddy?

MELVIN FIELDS

And, I’m going to live with you and all the animals now.

JANIE FIELDS

That’s right. Good job.

MELVIN FIELDS

But Janie, there’s one thing I don’t get.

JANIE FIELDS

What’s that, Mel?

MELVIN FIELDS

(pointing to Hrithik)

Why is this guy coming home with us?

Janie stops and turns to look straight at her brother.

JANIE FIELDS

You mean you can see him?

MELVIN FIELDS

Yeah. I’ve seen him for a long time now. I didn’t know who he was so I didn’t say anything. Who is he? Huh?

JANIE FIELDS

Well, it’s a long story. I think he’s a bad dream or a hangover - you know what a hangover is right?

MELVIN FIELDS

Yeah, a bad headache when you drink too much beer. Mom used to get a lot of those.

JANIE FIELDS

(to no one in particular) Great. Good example, Mom.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

Anyway, back to this guy. You know how much I love those Bollywood movies with all the dancing and singing?

MELVIN FIELDS

Yeah - I know that.

JANIE FIELDS

I think since I love those movies that the big guy up there and you know I really don’t believe in that kind of stuff very much, but who knows.

(she points to the sky) Anyway, he might have sent me someone I look up to, someone I admire. This is like my wake up call, I guess. I’m still not sure why and I’m not sure that he isn’t a devil, Mel or some sort of evil spirit - I haven’t figured all this out. It happened so fast.

Actually, to tell you a secret, buddy, I’m pretty confused about everything in my life right now.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

(overhearing what she says to Melvin)

Would a devil have the big guy’s super deluxe gold credit card with no spending limit and no expiration date? Would he?

Hrithik holds up a shiny gold credit card which seems to be glowing like an angel’s halo.

JANIE FIELDS

(amazed)

Wow, what’s that for?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

What do you think it’s for, girlfriend?

He gives a little hip wiggle and smiles, showing his perfect teeth.

MELVIN FIELDS

Are you talking to him, Janie? Right now?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

(to Melvin)

You can talk to me, Melvin. I won’t bite. I can hear you and you can hear me.

OK.

MELVIN FIELDS

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Just remember to call me Bobby. All my friends call me that.

Hrithik is my stage name. Actually, my mom helped pick it out. It was her dad’s name. It’s kind of hard to say though.

MELVIN FIELDS

(looking at Hrithik)

Cool. I always like meeting new friends. Why are you following us home?

Hrithik leans over and whispers something private to Melvin. Melvin nods his head in agreement.

MELVIN FIELDS (CONT’D)

(to Hrithik)

I promise. Cross my heart.

Melvin traces an invisible cross with his finger over his heart like small children do when they make a promise.

JANIE FIELDS

What are you two talking about?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Nothing special. Are you two ready to go shopping? My friends and I are going to transform you into a sexy diva woman!

JANIE FIELDS

(sarcastically)

Which friends are they? More imaginary people that no one else can see but Mel and I? Huh?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

You’ll see. Be a little patient.

MELVIN FIELDS

(to Hrithik) Can I come too?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Of course! We’re going to dress you up too! Don’t you know I have P-las-tic!

He holds up the gold credit card again.

When they reach the corner of the street, they are joined by two beautiful Indian women.

HRITHIK ROSHAN (CONT’D)

Janie, Melvin, I’d like you to meet my friends. This is my wonderful wife, Susan. We’re not really friends.

He motions to one of the women.

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

Thanks dear. I’ll remember that one!

She comes over, gives him a playful nudge in his arm with her elbow and then kisses him.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

And this is one of my favorite actresses - she’s like a sister to me actually and I must say she’s a joy to work with. Meet Miss Shilpa Shetty.

JANIE FIELDS

You mean, the Shilpa Shetty?

SHILPA SHETTY

That’s me! Nice to finally meet you. Bobby, has told us all about you.

Oh really?

JANIE FIELDS

FADE TO:

SCENE 9: THE NEXT DAY, INT., UPSCALE CLOTHING SHOP IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

Janie’s friend, TRISH HOLMES and MELVIN FIELDS, her brother shop for new clothes. Trish cannot see Hrithik, Shilpa and Susan who choose potential outfits for Janie and put them in her dressing room. Trish is busy looking for clothes for herself and thinks that the sales lady is helping Janie by supplying her with outfits. Melvin is laughing hard because he can see the three Bollywood actors and their antics, but Trish cannot. Janie tries on outfit after outfit. Hrithik sits outside the dressing room and claps as Janie parades the new, fashionable clothes.

JANIE FIELDS

(to Hrithik)

Stop making all that noise! You’re going to get me into trouble, you know?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

No one else can hear me except you and your brother. Just “chill” as the American teenagers say.

Anyway, you look great, you know?

Janie smiles and seems more self confident.

TRISH HOLMES

(to Janie)

Who are you talking to, girl? People will think you’re a nut job if you keep talking to yourself, you know?

JANIE FIELDS

I didn’t say anything! You’re imagining it.

TRISH HOLMES

Whatever. Those look great and everything, Janie, but tell me again, how are you paying for this?

JANIE FIELDS

(struggling to explain)

Well, uh, do you remember my great Aunt Mitzi? You know, the one with the oil fields?

Trish shakes her head.

MELVIN FIELDS

(confused)

We don’t have an Aunt Mitzi, Janie.

She rushes over to him and puts her hand over his mouth. He mumbles and tries to talk under her hand.

JANIE FIELDS

Oh yes we do! She’s on Dad’s side of the family! You’re just to young to remember her, Mel.

He looks up at her with a confused expression in his eyes.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

Anyway, she died recently and I inherited a little money. I thought it was high time to change my image, you know, look more grown up. Sophisticate myself for want of a better word.

Shilpa and Susan come over to Janie and adjust a scarf and add earrings to her outfit. She swats at her newly added accessories.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

(to Shilpa and Susan)

Would you two please stop fussing over me! I’m not a child! Okay? Go away for a minute!

TRISH HOLMES

Janie - who the hell are you talking to? I’m going to call the men in the white coats in a few minutes!

Hrithik goes over to Trish and smacks her on the backside for cussing. She can’t feel it. Hrithik loses his balance and he falls to the ground. Shilpa, Susan and Melvin laugh so hard that they fall over onto the posh furniture in the boutique.

TRISH HOLMES (CONT’D)

Well, why don’t you let me in on the joke, Mel?

The saleslady sees Melvin on the ground and comes over to check on their progress. Melvin distracts her by asking for help in the men’s department.

MELVIN FIELDS

(to the saleslady)

Do you have any cowboy hats like the ones they wear in the movies?

SNOOTY SALESLADY

Well, let’s just see. Shall we? Please follow me, sir.

FADE TO:

SCENE 10: LATER THAT AFTERNOON, INT. UPSCALE SALON, WASHINGTON, D.C.

Trish and Janie are getting new hairstyles and makeup. Susan, Hrithik and Shilpa are there to coach Janie on the instructions she gives to the stylist.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

It should be something softer and loose around your face.

SHILPA SHETTY

And, no offense dear, but the Goth look went out of style about ten years ago.

JANIE FIELDS

None taken, Shilpa.

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

Tell her you want a soft auburn with some reddish highlights.

Don’t you think that would suit her, Shilpa?

SHILPA SHETTY

Most definitely. Good suggestion.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

We’re going to leave you for a little while so that we can take a chai break. Watching you is exhausting!

JANIE FIELDS

No problem. I’m not going anywhere.

WACKY-LOOKING STYLIST

(to Janie)

What did you say? Am I doing something wrong?

JANIE FIELDS

Sorry. I was just talking to my friend here.

She motions to Trish who just shakes her head and then takes her finger and makes the crazy, “cuckoo” sign next to her ear like elementary school children are wont to do.

TRISH HOLMES

What do your imaginary friends think I should do with my hair, Janie? Get a Mohawk Shave it all off or dye it blue?

JANIE FIELDS

Wha...What are you talking about?

TRISH HOLMES

I figured it out, you know? Who you keeping talking to. I wasn’t sure about it when we were clothes shopping. Now there are fewer distractions and I can hear them all really well.

JANIE FIELDS

Really?

TRISH HOLMES

I never told you but I have a gift that I’ve had since I was a little kid.

JANIE FIELDS

An ability? Like to tell which wine goes with which dish?

TRISH HOLMES

No. To sense supernatural occurrences - things that most people can’t feel. To know when a house is haunted. And why the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end when there’s no breeze. To know when a soul is not at rest. That’s why I don’t go to funerals, you know. Too upsetting.

JANIE FIELDS

Oh really? Have you ever considered working for the Ghost Hunters? Or being a guest star on the Ghost Whisperer?

TRISH HOLMES

Are you making fun of me? Don’t you believe me?

JANIE FIELDS

Well...

TRISH HOLMES

I thought I could trust you with this, Janie. This is big step for me.

JANIE FIELDS

I’m sorry. It’s a bit of a surprise and just kind of weird, you know?

TRISH HOLMES

I guess you’re right. It’s not a normal gift like playing the piano well or being good at sports.

Grandma always said people wouldn’t understand.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

(to Janie)

I’m back but Susan and Shilpa are still window shopping at Neimann Marcus. I couldn’t drag them away from the jewelry counter. We don’t have stores like that in Mumbai.

Not yet, anyhow so my bank account is safe for the moment!

Janie laughs as the hairdresser puts the finishing touches on her hair. She looks in the mirror the stylist provides for her and smiles at what she sees.

TRISH HOLMES

(to Janie)

I wish I could see your friends. That guy has a very sexy voice! Does he look as he good as he sounds?

JANIE FIELDS

Oh yeah. But, don’t get your hopes up, girl. He’s taken.

(MORE)

JANIE FIELDS (CONT'D)

He’s a married man. By the way, you look fabulous! You look like a model in Vogue or even Cosmo.

TRISH HOLMES

You think so? It isalways nice to have a little change once in a while. Always good for one’s self esteem.

Susan and Shilpa arrive back at the salon. They clap excitedly when they see Janie’s new look, complete with very sophisticated makeup.

SHILPA SHETTY

(amazed)

You are an absolute knock up!

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

Shilpa. You’re getting your American idioms mixed up! I think you meant “Knock Out”!

JANIE FIELDS

I knew what she meant. It’s the thought that counts. Thank you, Shilpa.

(to Hrithik)

So, Bobby. Was all this worth it?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

I think you are ready for the next step in your reinvention - etiquette lessons from the ladies.

JANIE FIELDS

Can we just skip the etiquette lessons? I never go anywhere special anymore - now that Kevin dumped me. And, I usually eat lunch at my desk so I can be as messy as I want - no one sees me or cares.

TRISH HOLMES

(to Hrithik quietly, out of earshot of Janie)

I know you can see me and all. I can hear you three perfectly clearly. But, I just can’t see you.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

(hesitating)

So you heard everything we were saying today?

TRISH HOLMES

Yes and let me tell you something. You’re not with her day in and day out like I am. I don’t really understand why you’re here but I’ll just go with the flow. I know she’s in turmoil, in pain and needs some serious help. If you’re here to do that I’m down with that.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

I can’t reveal why I’m here to her, or you, either. If I didbreak the rules like that we’d be in serious trouble with the boss. I wouldn’t get credit for this job, either.

TRISH HOLMES

I get it. That’s cool. Anyway, we need to get her mind off of him.

Off of Kevin, I mean. When she gets depressed she starts drinking and you know what happens then...

HRITHIK ROSHAN

You’re right. That’s nota pretty picture and should be avoided if at all possible. It always seems to set her back.

TRISH HOLMES

We need to take her somewhere fun, somewhere where she can lose herself for a couple of hours.

Nowhere with any alcohol available though.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

I think I have the perfect place and the perfect activity.

FADE TO:

SCENE 11: JANIE’S APARTMENT, INT., LATER THAT EVENING

Bollywood music is blaring from the speakers in Janie’s apartment. Due to the noise, all her animals have moved to a far corner of the living room, where they can still watch what she is doing. The television is tuned to the exercise channel with the volume turned all the way down. A bellydancing teacher is covering the basic moves. Susan, Trish, Janie, and Shilpa are wearing traditional brightly- colored dance scarves with bells wrapped around their hips.

JANIE FIELDS

(frustrated, attempting to adjust her scarf)

This thing keeps slipping off. Bobby, remind me why we’re doing this again?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

(animated)

It’s good exercise! It will wake up all your senses! Make you feel alive like the goddess that you really are!

TRISH HOLMES

(to Hrithik)

You sound like a commercial or something! I know - for those nifty all in one ladies’ shavers! That’s it!

SHILPA SHETTY

(trying to be serious and get Janie to concentrate on what she’s doing)

He’s right. This type of dancing brings out your inner goddess.

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

(demonstrating some of the moves the instructor is doing on TV)

You reach down to your core - down to your soul. Tap in to all your feelings, all your good, happy memories, all your passions and hopes and dreams and then just let it all go.

She performs the belly dancing move effortlessly, like she is a professional. She points to Janie’s navel.

SHILPA SHETTY

See - you get a little glisten going on your brow. It’s healthy and reminds you that you’re alive, girl! Lose your inhibitions, your Western way of thinking! Pretend that there is a small metal ball that you want to roll from one point to the other on your body.

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

Great image, Shilpa. Yes, listen to me, Janie, close your eyes and feel the music.

She moves closer to Janie so that she can whisper in her ear.

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN (CONT’D)

Imagine that you’re the Queen of Sheba, Salome, a harem girl, dancing for a handsome bronzed king in the middle of an oasis with no one else around! You’re in an oasis in the middle of the Sahara desert! Oh Janie, just imagine the taste of being this sexy! Put it into your dancing!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

You’re getting a little carried away, Susan. Tone it down a bit please.

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

(apologetically) Yes, dear. Sorry.

SHILPA SHETTY

Let’s get back to the lesson, shall we? Tune out everything but the music and your body.

TRISH HOLMES

Too bad we don’t have some of those sexy see-through scarves. I think that might help me get in the mood. You know?

The animals, who can see Shilpa, Susan, and Hrithik, stare at Janie as she tries to belly dance. They radiate sympathy for her with their sad, big eyes.

JANIE FIELDS

(to the animals)

What are you all looking at? I’ve danced in front of you before!

Look at Trish! Stop eyeballing me! You’re making me nervous - I don’t do well under pressure!

SHILPA SHETTY

(to Janie)

Dear, you’re talking to animals. They can’t respond.

(MORE)

SHILPA SHETTY (CONT'D)

They don’t talk like we do. You know that, right?

JANIE FIELDS

Sorry. I’m just a little tired. You guys have run me ragged with the make overs, instructions on how to be a lady, new stuff we’ve bought and all the drastic changes from the past few days. You won’t even let me cuss anymore! I’m just

no longer recognizable as myself! I need sleep!

Trish is struggling with the dance moves as well. Hrithik suddenly, as if through magic, produces the scarves Trish mentions. He sees how Janie is having difficulty with the new moves and walks over to her.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

I’m sorry if we’re putting too much pressure on you. Do you want to rest for a while?

JANIE FIELDS

No. It’s okay. Let’s try again.

Cut to the sidewalk in front of Janie’s first floor apartment. Her landlady, PAMELA MARSDEN is walking her small dog past the front picture window of the building where she lives. She stops on the sidewalk and sees Janie talking to the Bollywood trio whom she can’t see. Trish is not visible to her either from the angle where she is standing so Janie appears to be completely alone, talking to the air.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Susan, put on some disco music. Maybe she can get a better sense of rhythm that way. It’s more familiar.

He nods.

JANIE FIELDS

(pointing to and facing Hrithik)

Have you heard the saying “White Men Can’t Jump”?

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

Well, here’s a new one for you - “White Girls Can’t Belly Dance”!

Pamela continues to watch the scene. She shakes her head.

TRISH HOLMES

Maybe a little glass of wine would loosen her up. Don’t you think?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

What are you saying? Do you remember the last time she drank anything? Do you?

TRISH HOLMES

(looking towards the direction of Hrithik’s voice )

But we’re all here with her. When she got drunk last time she went off by herself. Plus it was right after that horrible incident with you know who. She’ll be alright. Trust me. I can control her.

JANIE FIELDS

You knowI’m right here in the room with you? I am not a naughty child you know!

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

(to Janie)

He treats me like that sometimes too - my dear husband. You’re not the only one!

Pamela continues to stare at Janie in her apartment. Soon, SAM PERKINS joins her on the sidewalk. He has just returned from picking up Chinese food for himself and he hopes, Janie as well.

SAM PERKINS

Hey Pamela. What are you looking at?

PAMELA MARSDEN

Your girlfriend is sure acting strange today.

SAM PERKINS

She’s not my girlfriend and what’s she doing that’s so unusual?

PAMELA MARSDEN

It looks like she’s having a very heated discussion with some imaginary friends.

Sam looks up to the window and sees Janie shaking her finger at the air, getting very agitated. Trish goes into the kitchen for a glass of wine. She returns to the scene and hands it to Janie. Janie lifts her glass to toast the Bollywood trio and Trish and then takes a drink.

JANIE FIELDS

MMM. That is some smoothstuff!

She drinks about half the glass and then tries belly dancing once again. The alcohol loosens her up and she starts to get the hang of it.

Back to the sidewalk.

SAM PERKINS

(to Pamela)

She’s been under a lot of stress lately. Did you know her brother lives with her now? Did you know that her mom skipped town a few days ago and left Melvin with Janie? Just like that.

PAMELA MARSDEN

No, I didn’t know that.

SAM PERKINS

It’s only been a few weeks since her boyfriend dumped her too.

She’s been through a lot. More than most people.

PAMELA MARSDEN

Poor kid. Can you check on her then? Make sure she hasn’t cracked up under all the pressure?

SAM PERKINS

Sure. I was headed to her apartment anyway.

He holds up the bag of food.

PAMELA MARSDEN

She’s lucky to have you. Good night, Sam.

They go their separate ways - Samuel into the apartment building and Pamela for a walk with her dog.

FADE OUT.

SCENE 12: INSIDE JANIE’S APARTMENT, INT., A FEW MINUTES LATER

Sam knocks on Janie’s door and Trish answers.

SAM PERKINS

Oh hi. Is Janie home?

TRISH HOLMES

Yeah. I’ll get her.

Sam stands in the open doorway. After a few minutes, Janie appears.

JANIE FIELDS

Hey, Sam. What’s up?

SAM PERKINS

Not much. Just wondering how you’re doing. I thought you were alone.

JANIE FIELDS

Oh. That’s just Trish. No biggie. We’re working on a project for her Master’s program - on the

(stammering)

The theories of Marketing. Yeah, that’s it!

SAM PERKINS

Oh really? Cause I could have sworn I saw you bellydancing through your window. It was quite a sight, if I must say! And, I heard Donna Sommer belting out something about the “Last Dance”, until I knocked on the door and you turned it off!

JANIE FIELDS

Well...

SAM PERKINS

Did you guys eat dinner yet? There might be enough for all of us here.

He holds up the food.

JANIE FIELDS

God, that smells good! Is it from Uncle Poo’s around the corner?

SAM PERKINS

Yeah. Don’t you think they should change their name?

JANIE FIELDS

Well, I kind of like it. I laugh hysterically whenever I go there. It cheers me up.

SAM PERKINS

You’ve got a point. And you’re sure everything’s okay with you?

JANIE FIELDS

(lying so that he’ll leave her alone)

Everything’s fine. I’ve never been better. Really. I really have to get back...

She starts to close the door. He blocks it.

SAM PERKINS

Oh. Okay. Sorry. Call me if you need any pets walked or fed.

Just then, Melvin arrives at the apartment. Janie opens the door all the way for him. He is carrying a cardboard box filled with small glass vases and colorful flowers.

JANIE FIELDS

What do you have there, Mel?

MELVIN FIELDS

Just some stuff I brought from school to let me make some new friends here.

SAM PERKINS

That’s cool.

MELVIN FIELDS

What’s your name? Mine’s Melvin, but everyone calls me Mel.

SAM PERKINS

I’m Sam. I live across the hall.

He points to his apartment.

MELVIN FIELDS

I live here too, with Janie. My mom’s gone.

SAM PERKINS

I’m sorry.

SAM PERKINS (CONT’D)

(realizing Mel is still holding the box)

Can I help you with that? It looks kind of heavy.

MELVIN FIELDS

No thanks. I’m fine. I’m pretty strong.

He flexes his arm muscles.

MELVIN FIELDS (CONT’D)

Look. I go to the Y. Janie gave me a membership for Christmas.

(whispering to Sam)

You should go too - there are pretty girls there!

SAM PERKINS

(smiling)

Yeah. Maybe you’re right.

Janie practically pulls Melvin into the apartment.

JANIE FIELDS

We’ll see you tomorrow, Sam. Lots to do.

She closes the apartment door.

SAM PERKINS

(out loud)

But what about all this Chinese food?

FADE OUT.

SCENE 13: EXT, THE NEXT AFTERNOON, JANIE’S NEIGHBORHOOD

Melvin and Hrithik are walking around the neighborhood in Dupont Circle. Melvin carries a box of small grey kittens.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

(to Melvin)

Do you think you can just give out those kittens to people without asking if they want them or not?

MELVIN FIELDS

Yeah. Everyone loves little furry kittens. Especially when you’re having a bad day. See?

He holds one up, practically in Hrithik’s face.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

But, taking care of a pet is a big responsibility.

MELVIN FIELDS

I need to help Janie find homes for all these guys. She gave me a home now it’s my turn to find homes for them.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

That’s nice. But Mel, it isn’t that simple.

MELVIN FIELDS

Why not? Tell me.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

People are busy. They don’t have time to feed and care for an animal when they are busy at work all day long.

MELVIN FIELDS

By the way, why are you and those other ladies here? Are you an angel or something? How come Trish couldn’t see you?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Well...

They arrive at the first shop, a small corner “Mom” and “Pop” grocery store. Melvin enters and talks to the shop owner.

Hrithik waits outside on the sidewalk.

FIRST SMILING SHOP OWNER

I have been having a big problem with rats lately. My landlord is too lazy to do anything about it you know.

Melvin hands him a kitten, which he puts on his shoulder and cradles gently.

MELVIN FIELDS

Just feed him some kitten chow- you’ve got some on the shelf there,

(he points)

then Cat Chow when he’s bigger. He’ll grow real fast. You’ll see.

FIRST SMILING SHOP OWNER

Where will he sleep?

MELVIN FIELDS

(smiling as he watches the bonding between owner and new pet)

You’ll find a place!

Melvin leaves the shop and he and Hrithik walk to the next shop.

MELVIN FIELDS (CONT’D)

See, it can be that easy!

The team arrives at the next shop. This time, Hrithik goes in with Melvin. He is fascinated with Melvin’s “pitch”.

SECOND SMILING SHOP OWNER

(responding to Melvin’s plea)

But, I have a sick mother to care for. She lives upstairs here and I don’t want the kitty to get stepped on when she’s walking around - she’s not steady on her feet you know.

MELVIN FIELDS

This is the last kitten. If youdon’t take her I’ll have to take her home.

SECOND SMILING SHOP OWNER

That’s not so bad is it?

MELVIN FIELDS

We already have eight other cats at home.

Oh really?

SECOND SMILING SHOP OWNER

MELVIN FIELDS

My sister is running out of money for all the pet food we need. I don’t have a job yet. She’ll probably take this one to the pound and you know what they do there!

Melvin looks at the shop owner with sad eyes. The shop owner takes the kitten from Melvin.

SECOND SMILING SHOP OWNER

Aw. She reminds me of a cat my Grandma had when I was a kid.

(to the cat)

OK little girl. You’re going to be called Misty #2. How’s that?

Melvin and Hrithik leave the store.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Wow. You aregood.

MELVIN FIELDS

My teacher, Mr. Hopkins is a good teacher. I love his class. He said that you can’t ever trust someone who lies a lot. I feel bad about lying like that.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Sometimes it’s okay for a person to lie. Especially when a little something good comes out of it in the end.

Melvin and Hrithik arrive back at Janie’s apartment. Janie has just arrived home from work.

JANIE FIELDS

What have you two been up to?

MELVIN FIELDS

We were just spreading the love!

JANIE FIELDS

Did you get rid of all those kitties like I said?

MELVIN FIELDS

Yes. They all have homes now. Where’s Mom? Is she going to be here for dinner?

JANIE FIELDS

She’s gone, Mel. Forget about her. It’s just you and I now.

Susan and Shilpa enter the room. Melvin goes into the dining room and pulls something out of a box. He walks back into the living room and hands some small nicely-decorated vases with flowers to Susan and Shilpa.

MELVIN FIELDS

(to Susan and Shilpa) You both look so sad.

SHILPA SHETTY

Frankly, we’re pretty homesick. Washington is nice but it’s not Mumbai.

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

I miss my mother’s curry and nan bread!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Things are looking better here. Right Janie?

JANIE FIELDS

What? Oh yeah. It’s all good. Hey Mel, how about pizza tonight? It’s your turn to call.

She hands him some money and he goes into the kitchen to use the phone.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

(to Shilpa and Susan)

We can discuss when we’ll leave tomorrow morning. I think our job here is finished.

The women smile and nod.

JANIE FIELDS

Work was a bear! I’m going to change and go for a run before dinner. Anyone want to join me?

Susan holds the skirt of her gold-embroidered sari out for examination by all present.

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

I’m not exactly dressed for jogging. I didn’t come prepared.

JANIE FIELDS

I might have something you can borrow. Follow me into the bedroom.

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

See you all in a minute!

FADE TO:

SCENE 14: A STREET IN WASHINGTON, D.C. EXT., LATER THAT EVENING

Janie and Susan are jogging in the residential section of her neighborhood. Susan is out of breath and can’t keep up with Janie. She stops and bends over at the waist, holding her side which is cramping.

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

(panting)

Could you please slow down a bit? I am a bit older than you, you know. And, it seems, quite out of shape!

JANIE FIELDS

But this is the speed I have to run! How will I be ready for the Marine Corps Marathon if I don’t kick it up a notch in my training?

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

Can we just walk for a while until I get my breath back?

JANIE FIELDS

Sure. It’s only cause I like you so much!

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

Great - thanks!

Janie and Susan walk along the Dupont Circle area of shops and restaurants. They cool down, drink water and do a little people watching and window shopping as they make their way home.

JANIE FIELDS

Was that enough of a rest for you, Susan?

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

Yes. I’m willing to give it another go. Ready?

Before the two start running again Janie sees a familiar face. It is KEVIN SULLIVAN and his new love interest, LETICIA GOMEZ. They emerge from one of the upscale jewelry shops in Dupont Circle just as Janie and Susan walk past the store.

Leticia giggles like a school girl and Kevin beams at her.

LETICIA GOMEZ

(to Kevin as she looks at the ring on her finger)

Are you sure you can afford this?

KEVIN SULLIVAN

No. But it’s only money and you’re worth it to me. It’s just like water - you make it, you spend it and then you work hard to make more. Anyway, I’m hoping to spend...

He looks up and sees Janie on the sidewalk right outside the jewelry shop - right in front of him. Janie practically bumps into the couple and gets visibly upset when she realizes who it is. Susan senses what is happening and tries to calm Janie.

KEVIN SULLIVAN (CONT’D)

(trying to act cool)

Well hi there, Janie. How are you? You look great!

JANIE FIELDS

I’ve been better but thanks for asking.

Leticia looks up from the sparkling jewel on her finger and notices Janie.

LETICIA GOMEZ

Honey, is this a friend of yours? (to Janie, holding out her

hand)

Hi. I’m Leticia - Kevin’s fiancee’.

JANIE FIELDS

(to Kevin)

Fiancee’? Damn boy, you’re a fast worker! Is this the one you dumped me for or someone new?

KEVIN SULLIVAN

Please don’t be like that, Janie.

JANIE FIELDS

Like what?

KEVIN SULLIVAN

I never meant to hurt you. Really.

JANIE FIELDS

It’s a little late for an explanation, don’t you think?

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

(to Janie)

Come on, let’s finish our workout at home. They’re waiting for us and I’m sure the pizza has already arrived. Don’t spend any more time here. It’s just causing you pain. You were doing so well - moving on and everything.

JANIE FIELDS

But I want to say a few things to him, get some closure to all of this.

KEVIN SULLIVAN

(a bit worried)

Who are you talking to, Janie?

LETICIA GOMEZ

(to Kevin, quietly with her hand over her mouth)

So this is the one! You were right about her. She is delusional.

JANIE FIELDS

(visibly upset)

What are you saying? You are one rude bitch - making judgements when you just met me! You know nothing about me! How dare you?

SUSAN KHAN ROSHAN

(to Janie)

Come on. Don’t you see that they’re not worth it? Let’s go home.

Janie is crying and nods her head. She and Susan leave Kevin and Leticia outside the jewelry store.

KEVIN SULLIVAN

(quietly to himself)

Be happy, Janie. Be well. Forget about me.

FADE TO:

SCENE 15: JANIE’S BEDROOM, INT. LATE THAT NIGHT

Janie on her back lying on her bed. She sobs quietly. The bedroom is dark and everyone is asleep. The animals in the apartment have finally settled down as well.

JANIE FIELDS

(to the walls)

Why did I have to be there at exactly the same time that they were? Why? We were having such a good run, such a good day. I was starting to forget, to feel good again.

Hrithik appears in the corner of her room.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

You’re not alone and you aregoing to get through this.

JANIE FIELDS

I don’t want to suffer anymore! I don’t want to hurt anymore! I want it to be over!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

There are a lot of people who love you, Janie!

JANIE FIELDS

There’s only one person that I want to love me! Is that too much to ask for? How would you feel if Susan left you for someone else?

Huh?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

I would be devastated.

JANIE FIELDS

Please leave me alone. I want to be alone.

He leaves.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Sure. I understand. Just call me if you need anything.

JANIE FIELDS

(weeping softly)

I need to have never been born.

(MORE)

JANIE FIELDS (CONT'D)

I need to not hurt anymore - to never have been put on this earth. Everything seems to fall into place for everyone but me. It’s just not fair!

Janie falls asleep with the television on, curled up in the fetal position. The wind whips violently through the trees, making a loud and frightening wailing sound outside her bedroom window.

SCENE 16: JANIE’S APARTMENT, INT. THE NEXT MORNING

Janie wakes up and everything is still. Her bedroom is the same but the clock radio on her night stand as well as all family photos are gone. She gets out of bed and looks through the window. She opens the French doors of her bedroom to the living room. There are no pets and the room is bare. Janie goes over to Melvin’s room and that too is empty. She goes in the kitchen, calling for her brother.

JANIE FIELDS

Mel! Where are you, Mel! Are you trying to play some kind of joke on me? It’s really not very funny, dude! Mel! And what happened to all the animals? Angus? Paulie? Miss Mary?

She goes into the kitchen and makes coffee. Even though it is early, she dials Trish but the phone has been disconnected and she hears that distinctive noise and a recording.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

That Trish forgot to pay her phone bill again! I’ll have to get after her to be more responsible!

She goes into the bathroom, takes a shower and then walks over to her closet to find some clothes and get dressed for work. She opens the closet and it is empty. She puts on the jogging suit that she slept in the night before.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

Great. Not only has my brother left me, someone stole all my clothes while I was asleep! I wonder if the cops have had cases like this before!

Frustrated, she walks to the corner bakery and stands in line until she’s waited on.

SHIRLEY JACKSON

(to Janie)

May I help you, miss?

JANIE FIELDS

Finally - a familiar face! Hey Shirley - I’ll just have my usual.

SHIRLEY JACKSON

The usual what, lady?

JANIE FIELDS

You don’t know me?

SHIRLEY JACKSON

What do you think? Now, come on and tell me what you want. Don’t waste my time playing games. There’s a long line today!

JANIE FIELDS

I’ve been coming here every morning for the past five years! What’s wrong with you, Shirley?

The other customers in line start to make noises behind her signifying their discontent with how long she is taking at the counter.

SHIRLEY JACKSON

Now, for the last time. What will you have?

JANIE FIELDS

Has everyone lost their mind?

SHIRLEY JACKSON

No, but apparently you have! Now step aside and give someone else a chance to get coffee - or I’ll call the cops!

ANGRY CUSTOMER AT BAKERY

Yeah. Move it lady or we’ll pick you up and personally move you to the Starbuck’s there on the corner.

He motions to the store across the street.

ANGRY CUSTOMER AT BAKERY (CONT’D)

It will be a free ride!

The other customers in line laugh and Janie walks out of the bakery.

She walks the streets and winds up on the Metro. A disheveled woman approaches her. She reeks of alcohol and carries two large, dirty garbage bags.

LINDA FIELDS

Do you have any spare change, Miss?

JANIE FIELDS

Sorry, I don’t seem to have any change on me today. I don’t even have a wallet and my ID is missing too.

LINDA FIELDS

Sounds like you’re having a worse day than me. That’s pretty bad! A nice young girl like you having a day worse than a homeless woman!

JANIE FIELDS

Mom? Is that you? I thought you were in Texas by now with that guy. What was his name again?

LINDA FIELDS

Honey, you’ve got me confused with somebody else! I don’t have any kids. Never did. Never will.

JANIE FIELDS

But I just talked to you a few weeks ago. Don’t you remember?

LINDA FIELDS

Whatever you’re drinking, I want some too!

She moves farther down the line of seated passengers, asking for change.

Janie gets off at her regular Metro stop and onto the escalator. Her workplace is to the right of the Metro station. She walks to the door and tries to open it but it is locked and chained. A large sign on the door says “FOR RENT”. She presses her face against the window and looks inside. There are only empty cubicles and trash on the floor. No one is inside. She pounds on the glass.

JANIE FIELDS

This is a nightmare - like the worst bad dream I ever had and I’m not able to snap out of it, to wake up and have everything be right again!

She gets back on the Metro and exits at another familiar stop

- the one near Walter Reed Army Medical Center. She walks the few blocks to the hospital, finds the Intensive Care unit and witnesses a surprising sight. Kevin Sullivan is in one of the beds, hooked up to monitors, IVs and a machine that helps him breathe.

YOUNG ICU NURSE

(to Janie)

May I help you, Miss?

JANIE FIELDS

Yes, thanks. I’m here to visit Lt. Sullivan there.

She points to his bed. The nurse goes over to the nursing station and checks the computer.

YOUNG ICU NURSE

And your name?

JANIE FIELDS

You must be new here. I’m Janie Fields. His girlfriend.

YOUNG ICU NURSE

Sorry. You’re not on the list. His mother updates it whenever anyone new visits and you’re just not on it. Are you sure it’s the right patient?

JANIE FIELDS

(losing her cool)

Yes! How much more clear can I be? I’m here to visit him - Lt. Kevin Sullivan, injured by an IAD in Afghanistan last month. He had to have a complete amputation of his left leg!

YOUNG ICU NURSE

Yes, that’s right. But I’m sorry, you’re not on the list.

JANIE FIELDS

(losing her cool)

OK. I got that much! I’ll just stand over here and look at him.

The nurse sits down and continues with her paperwork at the desk.

JANIE FIELDS (CONT’D)

Can you at least tell me how he’s doing?

YOUNG ICU NURSE

I really shouldn’t but you seem so upset, so concerned. You must care for him very much.

JANIE FIELDS

Yes. Of course I do. I’ve know him a long time - even before he was injured.

YOUNG ICU NURSE

(looking around to make sure no doctors or are there)

Frankly, the prognosis is not good.

JANIE FIELDS

What do you mean?

YOUNG ICU NURSE

I mean that he probably won’t wake up. If a patient doesn’t respond to stimulus within 40 days of transfer his chances of coming out of a coma are slim.

JANIE FIELDS

Oh my God! Kevin!

YOUNG ICU NURSE

We’re so short staffed here. The nurses just don’t have the time to spare. So many of these patients t need one-on-one attention - these boys require physical and mental care.

I see.

JANIE FIELDS

YOUNG ICU NURSE

(consulting his chart) Lt. Sullivan doesn’t have any family here in the D.C. area.

They’ve only been in once or twice. You see they live too far away and the father runs his own business.

Lt. Sullivan could really have benefitted from some TLC.

(MORE)

YOUNG ICU NURSE (CONT'D)

It might have helped him, let him know someone cared. He might have snapped out of it - so sad in a man so young.

The nurse contemplates this tragedy briefly and then moves on to her other patients. Janie runs out of the ICU and stands outside of the hospital crying.

FADE OUT.

SCENE 17: HALLWAY OUTSIDE TRISH HOLMES APARTMENT, INT. LATER THAT DAY

Janie has arrived at her best friend’s apartment. She knocks. There is no answer and she knocks again. Finally, there is a dragging sound from inside the apartment and her friend appears. Trish is unkempt and wears dirty pajamas. Her eyes are bloodshot. Inside, the apartment is a disaster. Janie can see drug paraphernalia on the coffee table,.

TRISH HOLMES

May I help you?

JANIE FIELDS

What took you so long to answer the door? And what’s up with your phone?

TRISH HOLMES

Oh. I had it disconnected. I didn’t have money to pay for it and anyway, that damn landlord was calling me every hour, demanding the back rent. Do I know you?

(she rubs her eyes)

It’s kind of early to be selling stuff door to door - don’t you think?

JANIE FIELDS

I’m not selling anything. Trish, it’s three o’clock in the afternoon! Didn’t you go to work today?

TRISH HOLMES

Nope. I got fired three months ago for smoking joints on my lunch break. My manager and I just didn’t seem to see eye to eye on that one.

JANIE FIELDS

How are you managing for money? Did you get unemployment?

TRISH HOLMES

(letting down her guard a bit)

Yeah right - I wish! Wait, who are you again?

JANIE FIELDS

Just say I’m a friend. You can trust me.

TRISH HOLMES

Well, I don’t have anything else to lose at this point! To answer your question-

(whispering with her hand over her mouth)

don’t turn me in, but I’m doing a little innocent dealing to the boys in Dupont.

JANIE FIELDS

Damn Trish! What about culinary school? L’Academie de Cuisine? Don’t you remember how you were going to work with me for a while until you saved up enough money to go there full time? What about Paris? Don’t you remember how you wanted to open your own bistro?

TRISH HOLMES

(nonchalantly)

I guess not. I’m too busy discovering the joys of this good Jamaican reefer!

JANIE FIELDS

I’m going home. This is all too much for me. Call me later, okay?

Janie leaves and walks down the hall.

TRISH HOLMES

(sarcastically calling after Janie)

Yeah. I would if I knew who you were and what your phone number was! And, oh yeah, If I had a phone that worked!

She laughs, coughs and closes the door.

FADE TO:

SCENE 18: NEAR JANIE’S APARTMENT IN DUPONT CIRCLE, EXT. SOON AFTER

Janie is walking near her apartment. She stops to get a drink at the corner “Mom and Pop” grocery store. She steps outside onto the sidewalk, opens her drink and looks up to the window above the shop. An older lady sits at a table next to the window. She is staring at a picture of a man in a uniform from the World War II era.

SAD OLD LADY

(out loud to the picture) Everyone’s gone. There’s not even anyone to play bridge with anymore. I miss you so much, Charlie. I’ll be with you very soon, my dear.

Very soon.

She gets up and using her walker, slowly makes her way to a dresser. She opens the top drawer and takes out a bottle of pills.

CUT TO:

SCENE 19: OUTDOOR COFFEE SHOP NEAR JANIE’S APARTMENT, EARLY THAT EVENING

Janie sits at a table drinking a cup of coffee. Hrithik has a chai in his hand and joins her at the table.

JANIE FIELDS

(angrily)

Where have you been? Strange things are going on here and I could have used some explanation, you know?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

My boss thought it was best if you were completely on your own. The effect is much stronger that way - more lasting, then we don’t have to give a repeat performance.

JANIE FIELDS

(screaming at him, standing up and spilling her coffee all over the pants of her running suit)

Stop talking in such cryptic terms! Your boss this and performance that! Why doesn’t anyone know me! What has happened to all my friends and family! And, most importantly - where is my brother! Is Mel okay? I demand an explanation!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Melvin was never born. Don’t you know that?

What?

JANIE FIELDS

HRITHIK ROSHAN

You were never born, either. Don’t you remember what you said?

JANIE FIELDS

Yes, sure. But I didn’t think anyone else heard me.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

My boss did and he made it happen. He can make anything happen.

JANIE FIELDS

But, why did you guys put me through such misery? Such hell? Why was I alone the whole time?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

You were never alone. No one is ever completely alone, you know.

JANIE FIELDS

I get how I really do have an impact on everyone - my Mom, and Trish and all. But what about where I work? What happened?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

It was a question of morale. You weren’t there to raise your fellow workers’ morale - to make them try harder, put in a little extra effort to get more satisfied customers like you do. You weren’t there to throw a little competition into the mix as they say, making the business thrive. You’re just one worker but you’re a wonderful worker and you provide encouragement to everyone there, even the managers.

JANIE FIELDS

I never knew that. And what about Mel? Where have you and the others put him?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

That’s all about hope. See when you weren’t born your mother gave up completely. She was always on the edge of falling. Your dad left her then - he couldn’t help her. She slipped deeper and deeper into depression and drinking. If you had been around she would have held on a little longer, been happy for a little while. Your Dad would have stayed and they would have had your brother.

JANIE FIELDS

(crying)

Will I ever see him again?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Just promise to live. To live well. To appreciate what you have every day. Not to take anyone for granted, even that guy in your apartment who would gladly drop at your feet and worship you!

JANIE FIELDS

It’s a deal!

Hrithik embraces Janie. It’s a long hug like that between friends who have been separated for a long time.

HRITHIK ROSHAN

(surprised)

Well, I guess I’m done here. I’m able to touch you and you can feel it! I’m not fuzzy anymore, like a radio station that can’t be tuned in! I’ve done my penance.

Shilpa and Susan walk around the corner. Melvin is with them. Janie runs over to him and they talk and embrace for a long time.

Hrithik, Shilpa and Susan leave the duo. They walk to the corner and hail a cab. Hrithik is seen giving directions to the cab driver.

JANIE FIELDS

Well, I guess everyone can see him now! That must be a relief!

MELVIN FIELDS

Can we go home now, Janie. I’m hungry!

JANIE FIELDS

Me too, buddy! I’m hungrier than I’ve been in a long time!

FADE TO:

SCENE 20: JANIE’S APARTMENT IN DUPONT CIRCLE, THE NEXT DAY

Janie leaves her apartment and walks across the hall. She knocks on SAM PERKINS door. He opens the door.

JANIE FIELDS

Hi Sam.

Hi.

SAM PERKINS

JANIE FIELDS

Are you busy tonight?

SAM PERKINS

Why? Do you have the late shift? Do you need me to walk the dogs?

JANIE FIELDS

(looking at him)

No. Actually, I was wondering if you would be my guest for dinner tonight.

SAM PERKINS

You mean, on a date?

JANIE FIELDS

(flirting)

Boy, you are a smart one! Yes, that’s it. You know - when a man and woman go out together alone to try and get to know each other a little better. And, they go someplace besides Subway Sandwiches for the five dollar foot long!

SAM PERKINS

Well...let me just check my busy social calendar. You’re in luck, lady, I’m free!

FADE TO:

SCENE 21: THE METRO, LATER THAT NIGHT

Janie and Sam are returning from their date. They sit side by side, holding hands and laughing. The car stops at Dupont Circle and many familiar people get on the train. These include Janie’s coworkers, Trish, Melvin, and other friends. Hrithik, Shilpa and Susan also make an appearance.

JANIE FIELDS

(to Hrithik)

What are you guys doing here?

HRITHIK ROSHAN

Well, just like Shakespeare said, I had to see for myself that “All’s Well That Ends Well!” I thought it was time to have a party too now that I’m corporal again! Hit it, Mel!

Melvin puts his boom box on one of the Metro seats. He starts the music and a Bollywood dance mix plays. Everyone gets up from their seats and along with Janie and Sam, performs a choreographed Bollywood dance number. The lights on the Metro car dim and a big disco ball drops down from the ceiling of the car. Trish smiles and dances with a nice looking Indian man. Hrithik lifts his wife, Susan, up into the air. Melvin dances with Shilpa. Janie kisses Sam.

THE END

FADE TO BLACK.

JANIE LOVES BOLLYWOOD

By Justine A. Cowan 4104 Mitscher Ct.

Kensington, MD 20895 juscowan19191@aol.com C:(240)475-3550