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By Adam Taylor

GENRE: Comedy

When the lead singer of Krämpüs (a band so metal, it has two umlauts in its name), discovers that his saintly mother used to be a groupie for a beloved Jon Bon Jovi-esque rock icon, that he considers a sell out, he goes on a quest to find out the truth about their relationship, which takes him through the dark secrets and urban legends of New Jersey, until he confronts the rock star at a rock competition that could bring his band to stardom.


Tommy Dicicco is an obnoxious, mama’s boy, lead singer of the greatest

metal band you’ve never heard of, Krämpüs, a band so metal, it has two

umlauts in its name. Joined by his best freind Ricky, the good looking,

but dumb drummer, Louis, the naïve and baby-faced bass player,

Squatchmo, the burnt out middle-aged bassist, and their manager Gina,

the only woman tough enough to put up with their crap, they travel the

back roads of New Jersey, playing every dive bar, shopping mall, or and

shit hole the state has to offer. They’re paying their dues, waiting

for their big break, and that big break is three weeks away.

Deviantfest, the largest three-day metal festival in upper southeast

Denmark, is having a battle of the bands to allow the best unsigned band

to play the opening slot in front of a stadium of Deviantfest

attendees. When Tommy learns that Krämpüs is amongst the bands

selected to compete, they know they are on their way to stardom, if

only they can survive the next three weeks until the competition.

While finding new props for the band in his mother’s attic, Tommy comes

across a box of photos from his mother’s pre-married life, which before

now has been a secret to Tommy. Before she was a matronly mother of

five that discouraged Tommy’s rock aspirations, she was a groupie for t

hair metal band, and New Jersey favorite sons St. Joe, a band lead by

Joe St. Joe, a Jon Bon Jovi-esque rock star who is beloved in his home

state by everyone, but one person, Tommy. Tommy considers him Joe a

sell-out that lost their metal roots in favor of playing “Mom Music” and

acting in romantic comedies. Feeling betrayed by his mother, he

confronts her with the photos in front of her church friends. They all

know what groupies do for rockers, which causes Tommy to accidentally

slut-shame her, making her an outcast in her circle.

Finding an old High-8 tape in the box, without a machine to play it (or

the knowledge of how to play it) , it eats on Tommy’s mind to the point

where he can’t perform artistically or sexually. When he gets on stage,

he sees every female fan as his mother, causing him to collapse.

Unable to perform Tommy is ready to quit the band, and with him, give up

on the dream of playing Deviantfest.

Gina convinces him to visit his mother’s high school friend, Marissa, on

the way to their next gig, find the truth of his mother’s past, and

assuage the fears that is giving him performance anxiety.

And so Krämpüs begins a quest through the dark corners of New Jersey,

where they travel through the urban legends of New Jersey, invoke the

Jersey Devil, fight with a competing metal band, get arrested, flirt

with cougars, accidentally get booked at a white supremacist wedding,

flee from white supremacists, discover Midgettown, meet the mysterious

Chickenface, a rock icon that has mysteriously disappeared from the

music scene, and finally confront Joe St. Joe about his relationship

with Tommy’s mother.

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