Joe Lumbroso

I am a dynamic figure and brilliance is my trade. Often seen scaling walls and crushing beer cans on my forehand. I translate ethnic slurs for North Korean diplomats, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike harmonica playing and I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed. While I have never been to college, I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Children trust me.