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TUBERS

TUBERS
By Tom Stohlgren

GENRE: Romance, Comedy
LOGLINE:

When a stay-at-home 23-year-old is conned into tracing her family’s ancestral roots (tubers) in Ireland, she must overcome her father’s horrible travel tips and survive a sarcastic, unemployed Irishman to find true love and her grandpa’s buried treasure.

SYNOPSIS:

ERIN REGAN (23) lives with her dad, JOHNNY (50), and GRANDPA (94) in Boston, with one requirement: to complete her graduate degree in creative writing by traveling abroad for three months. Erin’s boyfriend, LARRY (30), a stock analyst, offers wealth, security, and boredom. As a token of his love, he buys her flight insurance before her three-day trip to hunt down the family’s roots (tubers) in Ireland. Despite her father’s success writing international travel guides, Erin fears traveling, but she promises to find the silver coins her Grandpa buried before immigrating 90 years earlier. Grandpa claims the hole also contains High King Brian Boru’s gold crown and more. All she has to do is find the old farm of the village eejit: Grandpa.

Erin’s father’s traveling advice is comically disastrous. Foregoing first-class seats for sleeping pills and an absorbent diaper is a bad idea. Taking a large suitcase, then trying to change clothes in a bathroom stall is a bad idea. Hiring a dependable driver is a good idea, but he left Erin at the terminal. In steps LIAM DOHERTY (24), a less-dependable, sarcastic, unemployed cabinetmaker from Dublin, who freelances as a cash-only driver to afford rent at his girlfriend MARY’s (24) flat. Liam’s world is about to be rocked!

From Dublin, Liam and Erin stop at monastery ruins, where they meet a clandestine treasure hunter, SEAN O’BRIAN (50), who overhears Erin discussing Grandpa’s buried treasure. Sean loans the couple a metal detector, so he can track them on his phone. In an old hotel and pub in Galway, Erin learns more about Ireland, the Irish, Liam, and her father’s bad travel advice. This sets the stage for the treasure hunt the next day.

Locals in Carrick-on-Shannon help Erin and Liam narrow the location of the old family farm to 200 acres, but finding Grandpa’s treasure is harder than finding true love. Meanwhile, Larry proposes by text-message from Boston, and Johnny and his new girlfriend, Dr. MADHU SHUDRAS (40s), fly overnight to convince Erin to say yes. Chaos ensues when Grandpa dies suddenly, Erin discovers her father never traveled anywhere (he’s a fraud), and now, a wake and wedding must be planned. Drinking lunch leads to a wild afternoon of treasure hunting, the recovery of Grandpa’s silver coins, which are cheap copper pennies, and King Brian’s gold crown, which is tin. However, Erin and Liam spend a magical night together, as do Johnny and Madhu. Erin returns home to discover Grandpa wasn’t the village eejit after all. As Liam removes old kitchen cabinets, he finds several first-edition classics in a hidden bookshelf. Erin is left with a great family story to tell, especially about falling in love.

TUBERS

View screenplay
Tom Stohlgren

Thanks so much, Vivek.

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