THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

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THE RECREATORS

THE RECREATORS
By Désirée Nordlund

GENRE: Fantasy
LOGLINE:

After being robbed of normal life and given the power of God their task is to save the world where people are not inclined to change their destructive behavior because a teenager tells them to.

SYNOPSIS:

https://packet.scripthop.com/d...

Nathaniel Baker

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Daniel Stuelpnagel

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Daniel Stuelpnagel

With respect, seems to me the final dozen words of your logline are a bit recursive or redundant and could be replaced with more intriguing detail on some nugget or facet of the story, that would feel to me as if it would fulfill the immense and I think compelling strength of the first component which is so powerful and a grabber.

Désirée Nordlund

Is this new version better, Daniel?

Daniel Stuelpnagel

It's good, in my opinion still a bit long, the syntax is a little odd, maybe just needs a couple of commas, which I normally don't use but if necessary. I might say it like this:

"Robbed of normal life and given the power of the gods, the ReCreators must try to save a world where insanely destructive mobs fuel an age of decadence in defiance of a powerful teenage leader."

just one possible revision, maybe you can bring the characters' traits in more but if not in this case I just tried to punch up the sense of drama while staying with what I think is accurate?

I can see that you have the framework of a compelling story! (If I'm reading it right it almost sounds like a documentary haha that's a bad tragic joke but seriously it really resonates with the zeitgeist!)

Désirée Nordlund

Thank you for feedback, Daniel. No, it's not a documentary. It takes place in a fantasy world. I wrote this before Greta, though she could probably qualify :-)

Tasha Lewis

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