THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

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ON THE VERGE

ON THE VERGE
By Rutger Oosterhoff

GENRE: Drama, Experimental
LOGLINE:

Wrongly placed in a mental facility, a Bollywood actress fights the health system using the healing power of song and dance.

SYNOPSIS:

... It's "One flew over the Cuckoo's Nest" meets The Breakfast Club" in India.

Pamela Bolinder

Wrongly placed in a mental institution, a Bollywood actress bans together with other patients to expose a sadistic nurse.

Elisabeth Meier

Yup, Pamela's logline brings it to the point. Additionally I would change the title to something with dancing or music as this seems to be the key.

Rutger Oosterhoff

It's not about exposing a sadistic nurse. she is just an antagonist force. It's about "revealing to the world the healing power of song and dance". The title could be a thing. But still we are on the verge of cultures clashing, music mixing, bringing their message to the world, all in an unconventional place...

Pamela Bolinder

Wrongly placed in a mental institution, a Bollywood actress bans together with other patients to fight back against a sadistic nurse.

Elisabeth Meier

Hm. Maybe you could make the Bollywood actress more a musical actress in general. If I got it right then your actress is someone who travelled the world, but got influenced most by the spiritual creative power of buddhism in India and in the Western world she has to fight for the way she used to dance or so, ends in a psychiatric clinic for what reason ever and meets the evil in person? But, the nurse is not the actual antagonist? Why do mention her then in your logline?

Maybe I don't get it at all.

Rutger Oosterhoff

"Traveled the world," No, But the original idea was that she lived in the USA but was originally from india. So you're close. About the "musical" part. The therapie group 'want to show the power of music and dance to the world'. What we want is that the "indian Musical"part is a natural part of the story. Not like many Indian films where the musical part has no real purpose. And yes, she is spiritual. That is clearly stated in her action in the script.

The antagonist. The nurse, her mother, the system are all antagonistic forces. But her mother is not the theme. The 'healing power of song and dance' is the theme. That is why the logline ends with that part. The logline has all the basic info it should have but is still much too long.

Maybe I'll put it on logline.it and see what they make of it.

Elisabeth Meier

I'm reading your script and will get back to you later!

Rutger Oosterhoff

Hey Elisabeth, I was advised to get the script of the the website.

Tony S.

Correction: bands, not bans.

Shahriar Bourbour

Correction: together, not tohether. (g and h are next to each other on the keyboard) :-) Try to make the logline one line: Wrongly placed in a mental facility, a Bollywood actress fights back using the healing power of song and dance.

Tony S.

Shahriar and Tone ban tohether to correct the logline. :)

Rutger Oosterhoff

Thanks to all for taking the time to look at the logline.

Shahriar Bourbour

Rated this logline

Pamela Bolinder

Rated this logline

Pamela Bolinder

Wrongly placed in a mental facility, a Bollywood actress fights back using the healing power of song and dance to unite and...? free...? overtake? expose? turnaround...? teach?

Raymond Zachariasse

Much better.

Elisabeth Meier

Rutger Oosterhoff Damn! First thought is always the best... wanted to print it but then 2nd thought told me it wasn't necessary as I can read it on the screen. Grrr. Are you on ScriptRevolution as well? There you can post it and get informed who downloaded it. But, it's of course wise to register it at the LoC before you post it somewhere/anywhere/wherever... ;)

Rutger Oosterhoff

Hey Elisabeth, it is not uploaded there either. Already registered.

Rutger Oosterhoff

Thanks Pamela!

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