All opinions welcome. 2 producers disagree with your comment on the opening lines - it paints the world. I didn't capitalize YOUNG MOTHERS as they are introduced as MOM 1&2. Rules are there to be broken...

Premise: The premise is good. What happens when a garbage man who pines for a girl out of his social status league has opportunity smile on him.

The formatting is very clean. The characters are a bit "on the nose'ish" Dylan is a little too "Golden Boy" and a bit too much building up of his relationship with all the people out of his social class. He's on familiar terms with the dog owner, mothers, etc. to the degree that he's had conversations detailing his past history taking care of his mother. It seemed a bit too far familiar to be believable. He's on first name basis with everyone. So the story starts and he's also already familiar with the girl and has already hit on her before.

I wonder if perhaps you could reveal more character and current status by having Ernie and Dylan talk while they work that street. Maybe reveal Dylan as good (but not golden boy) by having him go above and beyond in his job. Also perhaps foreshadow a bit Mrs. Opennheim before they get there. "Uh oh, Mrs. Oppenheim is already standing on the sidewalk waiting for us to arrive" type lead up. Then IMHO reveal Wendy the first time then.

Basically introduce the current situation of Dylan, his relationship with Ernie, his work ethic, and then introduce Wendy (goal) and have it get shut down (obstacle) and then present the Jewels (opportunity and decision for Dylan).

The banter Dylan keeps trying over and over seems more about the banter and less about a realistic interaction between Dylan and Wendy.

You can excise the entire scene of Dylan in his apartment if you go back and strengthen the relationship between Ernie and Dylan. You should start with what are Ernie and Dylan talking about as they do their jobs. Probably about their lives. Then as they do their jobs and they talk we get revealed to us what drives them, then you can introduce the goal (Wendy).

Again, I think there's a good premise there.

I would recommend watching "It Could Happen to You" (1994) for an example of what you are trying to accomplish.

Hi Vic

I like the premise

One suggestion, place in Brooklyn or Queens. They have more suburbs/houses that you describe.. Also, use more of New York verbiage - will sound more NYish.

Good luck!

Michael