SYNOPSIS:

Father Rufess is a very shy priest serving in the small community of Toulouse where he is devoted to his church and its members. When the town’s mayor announces his desire to destroy the old cemetery as part of a real estate deal, the parishioners desperately turn to Father Rufess to save their cemetery. The stubborn mayor refuses to turn the deal down, and Father Rufess has no other choices than to beg his guardian angel for divine intervention. When the intervention appears in the spirit of an ex boxer, father Rufess is literally thrown out of his own body. Unfortunately, the new arrival is causing nothing but trouble and father Rufess has to regain control of the situation in order to save the cemetery, and himself. A big fan of good family comedy, I created father Rufess as a unique character by combining two opposite personalities in one body: a fearful, gentle priest, and a fearlessly rude boxer. This opposing combination, in a slapstick genre gave birth to some hilarious situations turning father Rufess into an unforgettable character.

FATHER RUFESS

FADE IN: FATHER RUFESS An angel is spinning around in the beautiful blue sky. His wings are spread open and his aura is glowing.He notices the camera focusing on him. ANGEL BARNABE Oh, Hi. I know, you are all wondering what is this angel doing spinning around like this in the sky.Well I should start by introducing myself. My name is BARNABE, I am the angel who gives power and strength to one's presence. Recently I was assigned a very special task; and that is the story I want to share with you. The Angel motions the camera to follow him. ANGEL BARNABE (CONT'D) As you know, we angels watch over you day and night. We try to advise and guide you, and boy I have to say, you guys make some of the stupidest mistakes sometimes.Anyway, as most of you know, we do get to intervene in people's life as we feel the need to. Let me take you to the few people I had the responsibility to act upon. INT. SAINT EMANUEL CHURCH. -- DAY The Angel takes us to a little church in a small town where a young priest is holding a meeting with his parishioners.The poor priest is trying to calm the men and women who seem very upset . ANGEL BARNABE The first person I want to introduce to you is a young and very shy priest by the name of RUFESS MONTEL. Rufess As you will see, has a lot on his plate. PARSHEE 1 (SCREAMING) We cannot allow our no good for nothing mayor to get rid of our old cemetery just so that he and his greedy partners could build a strip mall.My whole family is buried there. PARSHEE2 He has no respect for the dead; father you have to talk to him. FATHER RUFESS (SWEATING) Please, calm down everybody, we all know how stubborn our mayor can be.I keep trying to reach him, and he keeps ignoring me. PARSHEE3 (V.O.) He is worst than a mule. FATHER RUFESS Well, it is going to take a lot of prayer and patience to get to him. But I promise you, tonight I will meet with him and try to talk to him. I am going to ask you to pray for me. PARSHEE 1 I heard that they are about to start demolition as soon as next week. PARSHEE2 This is an abomination. He will burn in hell, oops I am so sorry lord to mention this name in your house. (to father Rufess) I just sinned father, I just said the H word in the house of our lord. FATHER RUFESS It's ok, don't worry, but I am going to ask you to give me some time to meditate. The parishioners leave and Father Rufess gets on his knees FATHER RUFESS (CONT'D) Dear God, I really, really need your help.There is a heavy load on my shoulders, but, nothing is impossible with you by my side.Please open the mayor's heart as I am trying to have him stop the demolition of the old cemetery. CUT TO INT. BAR. --SATURDAY NIGHT EDWARD DUART, The town's mayor is playing card at a table With a group of friends.The door opens up and father Rufess walks in .He is blown away by the smoke rushing over him and starts coughing, attracting everybody's attention. FATHER RUFESS Excuse me, Mayor Duart can I please talk to you? MAYOR ED I though confessing days were on Sundays. FATHER RUFESS I need to talk to you about a very serious matter. MAYOR ED (blowing smoke on father RUFESS's face) I swear, it wasn't me, the devil made me do it. Everybody at the table starts laughing.Rufess is obviously intimidated and nervous but refuses to quit. FATHER RUFESS I only need two minutes of your time, and I will be out of your hair. MAYOR ED (frustrated) What is it that we have to talk about that we can't discuss in front of my friends? FATHER RUFESS We need to talk about the cemetery. MAYOR ED Oh that, well that's a done deal.Sorry father. FATHER RUFESS Please, listen to my plea, the whole town is very upset.My parishioners just held a meeting minutes ago, and... Father RUFESS nervously walks towards the mayor when one of The guys opens a playboy magazine. MAN Hey, father look. FATHER RUFESS (covering his face) Oh my dear GOD. MAN This will have you speak in thongs father. Father RUFESS runs out while everybody is laughing at him. CUT TO INT/ The GREEN's HOUSE SOLANGE GREEN IS SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM WITH DARLENE, HER MOTHER, AND CHAD BRAD, HER FIANC…. THEY ALL SEEM VERY EXCITED, LAUGHING AND JOKING.THE DOOR OPENS UP AND ROBERT GREEN, HER FATHER WALKS IN, A DEADLY SILENCE AUTOMATICALLY FALLS IN. SOLANGE (NERVOUSLY) Oh hi dad, I am so happy to see you. Dad this is Chad. CHAD stands up and holds his hand up but Bob ignores him. BOB (UPET) Who the hell is Chad? (to Chad) Who the hell are you sir? CHAD Sir, it's an honor to meet you.Your daughter told me so much about you I couldn't wait to finally meet with you. BOB What did she tell you about me? CHAD (HESITATING) Hum, huh. BOB See, you are lying, she didn't tell you jack about me. SOLANGE (SHOCKED) Dad! Please don't embarrass my fiancÈ. BOB (IN COMPLETE SHOCK) Fian...What!!!! SOLANGE Dad we wanted to tell you, but we wanted to wait for the right moment. BOB The right moment? Like the wedding day maybe? CHAD Sir please, don't take it this way. BOB (TO CHAD You are right. I am so sorry, give me a hug. They hug, suddenly Bob punches Chad in the stomach.Chad bends over in complete pain. SOLANGE (HYSTERIC) What is wrong with you? DARLENE (UPSET) This time you have gone too far Bob. BOB This guy is a wimp, as big as he is, it took me one punch to knock him down. CHAD (STILL BENDING OVER) I've got to get out of here. Chad runs out like a bat out of hell, followed by Solange. BOB (SCREAMING) And where do you think you are going young girl? SOLANGE (SCREAMING BACK) You see, that's the problem I have with you; I am not a little girl anymore Dad, I am a grown woman, and you need to accept that. BOB (UPET) Hey watch how you talk to me, you don't want me to beat your man again. SOLANGE (IN TEARS) I am not sleeping in this house tonight. Solange slams the front door and Bob runs after her. BOB (UPSET) What do you mean you are not sleeping in my house tonight, come back here right now. Bob tries to cross the street to grab his daughter .When he realizes that a car is racing towards him, it's too late.The impact of the crash sends Bob flying. CUT TO INT. SAINT EMANUEL CHURCH.SAME NIGHT Father RUFESS is on his knees, trembling and praying. FATHER RUFESS Father, forgive me, as I have sinned, I didn't mean to look at those dirty pictures.I also don't mean to harass you, but I really need your help father, if I fail my parishioners, they will stop coming to my church.What good will I be to you then? I feel so helpless father. WOMAN (V.O.) Father.... FATHER RUFESS turns around and Diane, a young lady, dressed all in black, like a witch. Appears almost from nowhere. She has a threatening look. DIANE What is it, father? Are women so devilish that you can't stand it? I just heard you praying and begging. FATHER RUFESS Oh lord, not another one.Please help me. DIANE Well look at this, and I don't think you are going to get any help tonight. Diane opens up her blouse and reveals her breast, FATHER RUFESS starts walking backwards, trips and falls. In the fall, his head hits the corner of a table and he faints . CUT TO INT. HOSPITAL. DAY. Solange is in the waiting room, in tears, praying for her father. SOLANGE Father God, please, I am begging you, I know you are busy, but I am praying you to please help my father change.I really need him to allow me to get married. ANGEL BARNABE ( APPEARING IN THE CAMERA) This is the situation that the people I am watching over found themselves in. As their angel, I then decided to make some changes. EXT. HEAVEN. DAY. When FATHER RUFESS wakes up, he notices that he is no longer Inside the church, he looks around and the expression of shock in his face give place to a big smile. All of a sudden he starts to jump. FATHER RUFESS I made it, I made it to paradise, no more winning parishioners , no more stubborn mayors and young girls with big boobies. He doesn't finish his phrase as he realizes that angel Barnabe has just appeared in front of him. FATHER RUFESS (CONT'D) (SCARED BY THE APPARITION) Are you St Peter? ANGEL BARNABE No I am your guardian angel, and you are not dead yet. FATHER RUFESS (SHOCKED) So, so what am I doing here? ANGEL BARNABE You are here to witness the glory of God. Watch.... Angel Barnabe takes him to the church. Father rufess sees his body lying on the floor. Astounded, he glances at Barnabe. ANGEL BARNABE (CONT'D) I heard your prayer Rufess, and I decided to send you a helper. FATHER RUFESS Where is he? ANGEL BARNABE (POINTING AT THE BODY LAYING MOTIONLESS) Inside your body. Father Rufess looks but doesn't understand. ANGEL BARNABE (CONT'D) He is inside your body.Look he is getting up. Father Rufess watches his body getting up. FATHER RUFESS Can you please tell me who is actually in my body? ANGEL BARNABE A man name Robert GREEN ....an ex boxer.I am also appointed to watch over him. FATHER RUFESS (CONFUSED) But, why is he in my body? ANGEL BARNABE I have a plan which will help everybody learn very important lessons. FATHER RUFESS What lessons? ANGEL BARNABE Well, in your case for example, you will hopefully learn to overcome your shyness by watching Robert in action, because believe me, he is everything but shy. INT. SAINT EMANUEL CHURCH.DAY -- DAY Robert slowly moves his head, and starts to look around. BOB What the... where am I? My god, I can't believe that I am not in excruciating pain, this jerk hit me really hard. BOB gets up to check himself, and realizes that he is wearing a priest's robe. BOB (CONT'D) Hey, these aren't my clothes, what I am I doing in a priest robe? He is standing up and happens to catch a glance of himself in a mirror facing him. BOB (CONT'D) (Horrified) What is this? This isn't even me.What the hell is going on? The angel and the real father appeared behind him. BOB (CONT'D) Holly crap! Who are you? ANGEL BARNABE Fear not bob, I am angel barnabe and this is father Rufess. I have put you in his body because I believe this is the best way to help the two of you. BOB How can turning me into a priest going to help me? ANGEL BARNABE All I ask from you is a little patience, and you will see how miracles are being done. BOB But what is happening to my body? ANGEL BARNABE At this point you are under a coma.But as soon as you are done with your task here, I promise, you will return to your body. There is a knock on the door and a usher sticks his face in. USHER Father, the mass is about to start, we are waiting for you. BOB (TO THE ANGEL) What is this fool talking about? ANGEL BARNABE Oh I forgot, it's already Sunday, you are going to have to lead the mass Bob.Besides you, no one else can see or hear father Rufess and I. BOB Oh no I don't , the only thing I have to do is to wake up from this nightmare. That's probably something one of this stupid doctors gave me, as soon as I wake up, I will be whooping some asses. FATHER RUFESS Sorry brother, this isn't a dream You are in my body, and you need to get out there and lead the mass. BOB Hell no, I need to do crap.. ANGEL BARNABE About the nasty language, you are going to have to give it up. BOB Give it up? Why? What you going to do about that angel boy? Looking like half man half chicken with these big wings. ANGEL BARNABE I warned you. BOB Fuc... Bob doesn't have the chance to finish his sentence when he is stricken by lighting.His hair is standing like Don King and smoke is coming out of it. BOB (CONT'D) That's all you got? By the way how many volts did you discharge? ANGEL BARNABE About two hundred, enough to shake you a little. BOB (LAUGHING) Two hundred, I hardly felt it. Bob tries to walk , but at the first steps falls, completely knocked out. INTERIOR CHURCH SAME DAY. Bob is marching behind a lead of ushers.He is so nervous that he bumps into the boy in front of him. BOB Don't worry son, I am not one of those priests who like to molest kids, I don't go down like that. FATHER RUFESS What? Is this man actually insulting us? BOB (TO RUFESS) You heard me very clearly. Bob arrives in front of the stand where a large bible is opened, as he looks up the crowd is watching him perplexed. BOB (CONT'D) Hey father help me here, what do I do next? FATHER RUFESS Sorry I can't hear you, I am too busy checking the boys out. BOB (NERVOUSLY) Don't fuck with me. He gets struck by the lightning one more time and jumps up. BOB (CONT'D) To Barnabe) Instead of shocking me over here, maybe you could tell him to help me . Bob looks at the crowd who seems more and more confused by his monologue and crazy behavior.Angel barnabe motion father Rufess to help. FATHER RUFESS All right, well you could start by telling them to sit. BOB (TO THE CROWD) Sit! FATHER RUFESS Who are you talking to? Your dogs? BOB Shut up, what do I do next here? FATHER RUFESS (snappy) Maybe you could read a passage in the bible, you do know what a bible is, right? BOB (mumbling) Son of a bitch ANGEL BARNABE I heard that. Bob jumps expecting to be hit, and ends up knocking down the bible. BOB (GETTING SHOCKED) Crap, I meant, haaa, damn it, haaa that really hurts.Okay, okay.I won't curse no more. He picks up the bible, the crowd is completely lost, some members starts to mumble words among themselves. BOB (CONT'D) Okay, what does it say here? (TO BARNABE) I can't read, I don't have my glasses. FATHER RUFESS I mean come on, the words are big enough. BOB (TO RUFESS) I don't appreciate your rudeness. FATHER RUFESS Did he just call me rude? Is this a joke? BOB Okay, here he goes; and Jesus, hum, Jesus wwwas sitting on top of a well when Sam arrived as a woman. FATHER RUFESS A Samaritan woman... BOB A Samaritans woman came together with Walter. FATHER RUFESS Came to get some water; this man can't read for nothing. BOB That's not what your mama said. FATHER RUFESS (TO BARNABE) I am sorry but I really don't think that your plan is going to work. BOB I'm done reading, what do I do next. FATHER RUFESS Explain the passage now, and how it could affect everyone's life. BOB What? I can't wait for this nightmare to be over. Bob walks towards the crowd. BOB (CONT'D) So as it is clearly stated in the bible, don't just look for physical water, but also the water from Jesus, don't bother asking me what that water looks like, cause I don't know. Matter fact if you find it, make sure you share it with me first. Thank you and you can leave now. Alone in the room, bob is frantically getting rid of the priest's robe when Diane walks in on him, a grin on her face. FATHER RUFESS (WORRIED) Oh my god, there she is. Bob looks up and sees the young girl dressed in black. BOB What do you want and why are you dressed in black like that? Looks like you are going to a funeral or something. Aren't you hot? It's summer out there. DIANE I want to show you something. In a quick move she opens her shirt and reveal her breast. DIANE (CONT'D) Ha, Bob stands there looking at her breast. DIANE(CONFUSED) (CONT'D) Aren't you going to panic? BOB How old are you again? DIANE (CONFUSED) Eighteen, why? BOB And your breast are already falling? What a shame . Completely lost Diane covers her breast. DIANE (CONFUSED) I, I want you to know that I worship the devil. Bob smacks her so hard that she starts coughing. BOB Don't ever talk that nonsense in front of me. Diane runs away crying and Bob turns to father Rufess BOB (CONT'D) So you faint at the sight of a woman's breast, hum. (to Barnabe) Please tell me that I did not come here to tell young girls not to show their flat breasts to fags I meant fathers. BARNABE (IGNORING BOB'S COMMENTS) Right on time! There is a little knock on the door, then a tall, muscular man walks in .Bob's mouth drops to the floor. BOB I can't believe it, is this MORRIS MONIZ? MORRIS Hi father, could I speak to you. FATHER RUFESS (TO BARNABE) Do these two men know each other? ANGEL BARNABE They fought against each other. BOB (A CRUEL LOOK ON HIS FACE) Morris Moniz, long time no see. MORRIS (CONFUSED) You just saw me two days ago. BOB Oh yes, so are you still boxing? MORRIS Father, you know I'm not a professional anymore. BOB So you ended up a loser after all.What a shame. MORRIS (SHOCKED) I own and run the gym around the corner, if that's what you call being a loser. ANGEL BARNABE Bob, relax. BOB (TO BARNABE) Whatever, (to Morris) What do you want anyway? MORRIS I don't know if I should discuss anything with you right now father, you have been acting very weird, specially during mass.I will come back later. Morris walks away and bob runs after him. BOB Hey we could settle this on the ring, anytime you are ready punk. FATHER RUFESS What's going on here? ANGEL BARNABE Bob's boxing career was ended after he lost a fight to Morris. BOB I was going to be one of the best fighters our country had ever seen. I was right there with Ali and all the others, and this mediocre being knocked me out, out of pure luck. ANGEL BARNABE Now you understand why he is so bitter. BOB (EVIL) Not for long, I have this young body, all I have to do is train a little bit, and then vengeance will be mine. FATHER RUFESS (to BARNABE)) You need to talk to him, before he does something stupid.He is here because we have to save the cemetery, not to avenge himself. ANGEL BARNABE You are right, listen to me Bob, I need you to go talk to the ¬mayor of this town.He is planning to clean out the village's cemetery to build a mall and you need to stop him. BOB Let me get this straight, you want a priest to tell a mayor not to destroy a cemetery. FATHER RUFESS He is not actually the one who is doing it, he is working with a private... BOB I really don't care if it's his grandmother who is cleaning the cemetery, how am I supposed to stop him? By imposing my hands on him? ANGEL BARNABE I know you will be able to come up with something. INTERIOR BOXING CLUB .NIGHT Mayor Ed is playing card at a table with a couple of buddies, behind them, a young athlete is training inside the boxing ring.They all look up as Father RUFESS walks in. MAYOR ED Damn it, it's the father. BOB Hey, which one of you is the mayor. MAYOR ED Come on Father, don't tell me you already forgot me. BOB Whatever, I am here to tell you that you need to stop that nonsense you started with the cemetery. It's pissing a lot of people off. BUDDY 1 Can priests say pissing off? ED (DARING) So what if I don't stop? What will happen? BOB They told me that you were a real stubborn son of a bitch. ED (UPET) Say what? Come again father? (to his buddies) Did you hear that? Nobody talks to me like that. BOB As fat as you are, you will give yourself a heart attack trying to throw a punch at me. The Mayor's buddies starts to laugh but they all quickly stop as Ed gives them dirty looks. BOB (CONT'D) What do I need to do to make you change your mind? MAYOR ED You need to watch your mouth for a start, I think you had too much of that wine during the mass. BOB So you think that I am all mouth ? How about I kick your boy's ass, and you leave the cemetery alone. MAYOR ED What boy? BOB (pointing at the boxer) This one inside the ring. The whole crowd burst out in laughter. MAYOR ED You want to fight one of our professionals? BOB As long as it's going to stop you from destroying the cemetery, I am willing to give it a try. BOXER (LAUGHING) Hey father, I don't want to go to hell for kicking your ass. BOB (climbing the ropes) Just fight me pretty boy. Father Rufess gets into the ring and removes his priest's robe.They are surrounded by the mayor and his friends who are dying of excitement to see the Father getting his butt kicked.The young man starts to show off while Father Rufess is slowly putting on his gloves.The fight starts and the young man dances around father Rufess throwing short punches and laughing.Growing Frustrated, Father Rufess tries to approach the young man who hits him on the head to tease him. In the fraction of a second Father Rufess jumps and punches his opponent in the jaw, knocking him down instantly. BOB (CONT'D) (to the stunned mayor) We had a deal, now I can go and tell my parishioners that their cemetery will not be touched. INT CHURCH SAME NIGHT. BOB (frustrated) I don't get it. I did my job, now why can't you put me out of this body and put me back where I belong. ANGEL BARNABE Because your work is not done yet. BOB I made a deal with the fat guy, I told him that if I kicked his boxer's ass I mean butt, he wouldn't touch the cemetery. I knocked the crap out of the guy. What more do you want from me? ANGEL BARNABE We are about to find out very soon if he is going to stick to his promises. BOB What does it have do do with me? Whether he keeps his promises or not, I want to get the hell out of here, which reminds me, are you really an angel from above ? Because I heard there are other kind of angels. AT the same time Morris walks in , Bob jumps up. BOB (CONT'D) My God is it that son of a bitch again? MORRIS Hi father! BOB You mother.. Father Rufess gets shocked before he could finish. BOB (CONT'D) Arghh, I meant how is your mother. MORRIS (surprised) She is fine, are you feeling better now father? BOB Oh I am fine, what's up? MORRIS (CLEARING HIS THROAT) Hum... Father, I came to talk to you about something very important, you know my daughter Angela? BOB No, never seen her. MORRIS What do you mean? She teaches catechism at your parish. BOB Oh yes, I remember, a little fat, ugly , with a big nose, I mean she pretty much looks just like you. MORRIS (SHOCKED) What? My daughter is not fat, with a big nose. BARNABE (to rufess) You might want to hear this one. BOB Alright, alright, talk to me son. MORRIS Anyway. Ron just asked for her hand, and.. BOB Who the hell is Ron? MORRIS (shocked) Come on father, you have to know Ron, that rich young man who owns the biggest gymnast in town and wants to build a brand new complex where the old cemetery is. BOB (POINTING UP) Oh, him, don't mind me, you know they don't tell me anything up there. MORRIS (LOOKING UP) Who? Who are you talking about? Any way, we need your advice. BOB The girl wants to marry a rich guy, I say let her. A girl like that should be happy someone is paying attention to her. MORRIS (STUNNED) What? What are you talking about? BOB Enough talking about your little brat, tell me more about you.You said you own a gym MORRIS Well, I opened it after I gave up professional boxing, I wanted to help young brothers aspiring to become professional boxers, hoping that one of them could turn into the next champion. But I guess I wasn't very lucky in my quest.Matter of fact, Ron has been more lucky than I have. BOB So you beat me , and then became a complete looser. MORRIS (SCREAMING) What is wrong with you father? I really don't understand you. BOB (wrapping his hand around MORRIS) I bet you are out of shape too, say, how about you and I going at it in the ring? MORRIS You want to fight me Father? BOB Hey I got a younger body, a little soft, but nothing a good training won't fix, watch. Without warning, Father Rufess punches Morris in the stomach so hard, Morris bends over in crucial pain. MORRIS This guy is completely insane, I am out of here. MORRIS runs away, and father Rufess chases after him. BOB Come here punk, I will show you who is the real champion. ANGEL BARNABE (APPEARING) Well at least we now know why I put you in this body Robert. BOB Yes, to kick this bastard's butt. Boy I can't wait to get him in the ring. What a sweet revenge that will be. ANGEL BARNABE Can't you see that this has been eating you up all this years. BOB Of course it has, I was supposed to become the next champion. I had a very successful and promising career until this fool knocked me down, and for what? Now he is a low life trainer. All this waste of a life. I will make him regret he was even born. ANGEL BARNABE Your hatred toward Morris have been eating you up like a cancer, it is the main reason you are having so much problems with your family, this is your chance to forgive and move on. BOB I don't care if it takes me to hell, I will break my foot up Morris's ass before I could forgive him. Five miles from there, MARIO JENKINS; Morris's long time apprentice and assistant trainer is on the ring with another boxer when Angela MONIZ walks in. ANGELA (brightly smiling) Hi Mario. MARIO Ho hi, angela, your dad is not here. ANGELA I know, actually, I came to see you. MARIO (SURPRISED) Me? Is everything okay? ANGELA (WITH A SAD SMILE) I am about to get married, to Ron, actually. Mario doesn't have the time to respond when his opponent gives him a powerful blow in the face. ANGELA (CONT'D) Ouch, well I guess I will be going. MARIO (IN PAIN AND COMPLETE SHOCK) Ah, wait angela... ANGELA (TURNING AROUND) Yes. MARIO (SADLY) Never mind, it's nothing. Actually, I just wanted to congratulate you on your wedding. Angela walks away and Mario looks down, his opponent start to laugh at him. Upset, Mario turn around and kicks him with such power that the poor guy goes flying. All the other boxers turn around shocked. BOXER (TO MARIO) Man, you knocked the hell out of him. The next day, Bob is walking down the street when he notices three construction workers getting ready to demolish the cemetery's wall. BOB Hey, wait up, you are not supposed to be doing that. WORKER 1 Oh, it's the man in a dress. What do you want father? BOB Hey, I recognize you guys, you were with the mayor last night. WORKER 2 (POINTING AT HIS FRIEND) Yeah, and we saw you kicking this guy's butt. WORKER 3 Very funny, that was luck, now we have some work to do, beat it father. BOB No, you guys were there when I made a deal with the mayor, we had agreed that if I kicked your butt, there was not going to be any demolition. WORKER 3 Well there is going to be some demolition and you are not going to stop us.. BOB (TO THE MAN) I kicked you butt before, I will kick it again. WORKER 3 Oh yeas, bring it on pappy. The two men engage in a fight, with a powerful blow, bob knocks him down, and starts attacking the other two.In the meantime, a tour bus parks not too far from the scene. TOUR GUIDE And to our left we have the town oldest cemetery, and next to it, we can see a priest beating up two men, oh my GOD! He is beating the crap out of them, let's get the hell out of out of here. These people are crazy. INT. SAINT EMANUEL CHURCH.DAY -- MOMENTS LATER Robert is changing his clothes dirty with blood and dust, when father Rufess and Angel Barnabe appear next to him. FATHER RUFESS (To Robert) You are really screwing everything up, you know. BOB It can't be worst than what you do or I wouldn't be here. FATHER RUFESS (outraged) You really think you are doing a better job as a priest when you don't even know half the things priests do. BOB Yeah, like molesting children. Father Rufess tries to strangle him but can't grab him. ANGEL BARNABE I have to agree with father Rufess. Priests do go through a lot. You have to give them that respect. BOB Show me what they do, then I will give them that respect. CUT TO ONE EXT. HOME. -- SAME DAY Bob is standing in front of a shady looking house.He looks around. BOB Hum, the place looks deserted. No cars in the garage. (lifting his hands) Now what? ANGEL BARNABE Go inside. Bob pushes the door slowly. The interior looks spooky. BOB Is anyone home? ANGEL BARNABE Go in the kitchen, Bob Bob slowly walks to the kitchen. BOB This house is empty (to barnabe) Okay, what's the big idea ? All of the sudden, as if a tornado had just hit the house, the cabinets doors start to open and close violently, as if pushed by a powerful yet invisible arm. Plates and utensils start flying throughout the whole kitchen. BOB (SCARED BY THE APPARITION) (CONT'D) What the..., oh my goodness, what is this? Is this house haunted? FATHER RUFESS (SMILING) You said it brother. BOB (SCREAMING) I am glad you guys are finding this is funny. Now, how do I get the hell out of BOB (SCREAMING) (CONT'D) Here Now? FATHER RUFESS Oh no, you aren't getting out that easy, you will have to fight your way out. BOB (SCREAMING FROM THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS) And how am I supposed to do that? FATHER RUFESS Just like a priest, with faith and prayer. BOB (BENDING OVER TO AVOID ONE OF THE FLYING PLATES) But, this is unfair, I was never trained for that. I need some kind of directions here. ANGEL BARNABE It's kind of too late for that, the only weapon you have right now is prayer, and a little faith will help tremendously. BOB (SCREAMING) What kind of prayer do you want me to say to stop this evilness? FATHER RUFESS (POINTING AT SOMETHING) Watch out bob! Bob leans over, fast enough to avoid another plate. BOB (SCREAMING FROM THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS) Are you going to help me or what? ANGEL BARNABE On your knees. Bob jumps on his knees BOB Okay, so what do I do now? FATHER RUFESS Start praying. BOB (FIGHTING WITH A FLYING FORK) Start with what prayer. FATHER RUFESS Let me thing, you don't really know much prayers, how about palms 91? BOB Palms what? FATHER RUFESS Okay, start with an Ave Maria BOB This guy must have fell on his head as a child, (screaming) I don't know any of those. FATHER RUFESS What do you know then ? BOB (NERVOUSLY) I don't know, our father maybe? ANGEL BARNABE That's really good actually, go ahead. BOB (TREMBLING) Our father, who are in heaven.. Suddenly the powerful wind seems to slow down, the cabinets doors stop being pushed. BOB (SMILING) (CONT'D) It seems to be working, allowed be thy name, hum, hum The wind start blowing stronger, the plates are flying at a higher speed. BOB (CONT'D) What? What Did I do wrong? ANGEL BARNABE You are not praying with faith, BOB (joining hands) Hamlamamalamamam ANGEL BARNABE What are you saying Bob? BOB I am praying; isn't it what I am supposed to do? ANGEL BARNABE Yes, but in what language are you praying? BOB In tongues... FATHER RUFESS (singing) That thong thong thong thong... BOB (HIS MIDDLE FINGER UP) Up yours man. A plate hits Bob on the head, making him jump. BOB (SCREAMING, BEGGING HEAVEN) (CONT'D) Oh my god please help me. All of a sudden , a complete calm falls in the room, Bob walks around stunned. ANGEL BARNABE Great Bob, your faith saved you, now you know that it's not easy being a good priest, you have to have a very close relationship with God. And as you just saw, they can face very fierce situations. BOB Forget faith, I did it, cause I am the man. Without warning, a plate lift itself up and crashes on top of Bob's head, he rushes out of the place like a bat out of hell. He jumps the fence, lands in the neighbor's house and finds himself face to face with Diane. DIANE (SCREAMING IN FEAR) Arghhhhhhhh BOB (SCREAMING BACK) Arghhhhhh, what, are they behind me? Diane runs away and bob runs after her.She locks the door behind her.Bob tries to open the locked doors. BOB (CONT'D) Open up, please open up. DIANE (O.S.) No you are going to slap me again. BOB I promise I won't, open up. DIANE (O.S.) Go away. BOB Open up they are chasing me. DIANE (O.S.) Who? Who is chasing you? BOB The plates, and the forks. DIANE (O.S.) My god you lost it father. BOB (shaking the door violently) I did not loose it, I am not crazy, I am completely sane, I just got Hit in the head by a flying plate that's all. FATHER RUFESS (V.O) They are coming after you bob. BOB Ahrghhhh, please open up. Finally Diane opens the door and Bob runs inside and lock the door, after a while he takes notice of the place. BOB (CONT'D) (breathing heavily) Your house is dark and sad looking. DIANE (lowering her head) Thanks a lot for the compliment father. BOB I mean, don't your folks care about their house, you guys need to paint these walls with a brighter color. DIANE (sadly) My parents are both dead. BOB I am sorry to hear that, who takes care of you then? DIANE My uncle, the old man who works at the old cemetery.He doesn't have the strength to paint this house. BOB Don't you guys have friends who could help? DIANE (shaking her head) My uncle works nights and sleep most of the day, and I hate people. BOB Why? DIANE They are always making fun of me and my uncle, they call him Dracula, and they call me " Dracula's niece" BOB Why? DIANE You've seen my uncle, he looks just like Frankenstein, and he always wear black, that's all he buys me too, black dresses. He is really spooky looking, and working at the cemetery didn't do him no justice. BOB Now I understand why you said you worshiped the devil. DIANE I figured if I scared people, they will leave me alone. BOB When in fact you are a sweet young woman. I can see it in your eyes. Diane turns around not responding. BOB (CONT'D) I know teenagers can be mean, but you don't want to mess with the devil, even as a lie, thrust me, after what I just saw, Jesus is my man. Bob starts shivering. DIANE (curious) What did you just see. BOB Never mind, let's say I learned my lesson. I do want to help you, I feel bad about smacking you last time. DIANE How? BOB How did I smack you? DIANE No, no, how are you going to help me, all the kids my age are making fun of me, specially the girls. BOB Never mind the girls, first you have to get rid of all that black around you . Let's start with this house. Would your uncle mind if we opened the blinds a little bit? DIANE Well, he always says that he needs the rooms to be as dark as possible since he sleeps during the day, but I think it's just an excuse so that people don't see how poor we are. BOB I tell you what, give me a couple of days and I will come up with something.Deal? DIANE (smiling) Deal. SUNDAY DAY, INSIDE CHURCH -- MORNING BOB Dear fellow members, our sister Diane and her uncle Matthew are going through some financial hardship, so I would like for us to do something for them. We could definitely start by painting their sad looking walls. So I need a couple of volunteers to help me with this task, and also, if any body would like to donate some money towards buying a couple of cans of paint, that too will be greatly appreciated. The parishioners look at each other but nobody reacts. BOB (CONT'D) I don't believe this, any body who wants to help me paint the house please raise your hand. The crowd looks more and more perplexed. FATHER RUFESS (NERVOUSLY) What is he doing now? ANGEL BARNABE Calm down, he is just asking for help. FATHER RUFESS But my parishioners don't usually do things like that . ANGEL BARNABE Maybe it's time they do. BOB (to the crowd) So let me understand this, you are all here dressed like rich people, holding your bible high, and when I ask for you to help a fellow parishioner, nobody can raise their fat and lazy hands? The crowd murmur in disbelief. PARSHEE 1 (O.S.) I can't believe he called us lazy. BOB (YELLING) Yes lazy, wannabe Christians, walking around, arms up, screaming "I am a Christian, I am a Christian." Well, it's said somewhere in this bible, it's not what you say but what you do that will count in the last days, and if you ask me, I think you are all ready to go to a very hot place. CUT TO OUTSIDE STREET, NEXT DAY. Bob is walking alone down the street, a ladder on his right shoulder, holding a couple of paints in his left arm. FATHER RUFESS (APPEARING) So you are going to do the job all by yourself? BOB Or I could have my fingers stuck up my nose. Nice fellows you have in your church. I think that they are nothing more than a bunch of hypocrites. FATHER RUFESS Hey, don't talk about my people like that, you don't know them. BOB And I guess you do? FATHER RUFESS Well, I, anyway, they are not as bad as you say. BOB (DROPPING HIS LADDER) Not even one gave me some money to buy paint, but as soon as a little thing bothers them they cry like little girls, oh father oh father. (lifting his fist up) I know exactly what to tell the first one who come crying to me, and he won't believe his own ears. EXT.HOME. -- DAY Bob meets up with Diane in front of her house.She is wearing a white top and blue jeans . BOB Look how pretty you are in regular clothes, instead of those black ugly dresses you've been wearing. DIANE (BLUSHING) Thank you. BOB Where is your uncle? DIANE Inside, he is upset about you putting his business out, I think he is more ashamed than anything. BOB He will get over it, so that leave the two of us for this wonderful task. DIANE I guess so. Bob and Diane start painting the house when a car stops by. MARIO Hello father! Bob gets scared and falls down the ladder. BOB (UPET) Damn you boy, are you trying to give me an heart attack? MARIO (laughing) Sorry father, I wasn't trying to scare you, my friends and I just came to help. Mario and three of his friends get out the car and start helping father rufess and Diane.Bob has just finished climbing the ladder again when someone else blows the horn. BOB (falling) I will be damned. ANGELA I am so sorry father, I was looking for Mario. MARIO (CLIMBING THE LADDER) Hi Angela, won't you come and help us. Angela jumps in; within minutes, people start to join from everywhere. They are all singing while working. BOB Nice song, where did you learn it? DIANE (SCREAMING) Father! BOB What? DIANE That's one of the songs we sing everyday at church. BOB I guess I had too much of the blood of our lord last night. Bob turns quick enough to catch Mario and Angela smiling at each other while singing. BOB (CONT'D) Hum, very interesting. INTERIOR CHURCH, NIGHT While Bob is sleeping Barnabe and Father Rufess are flying away. FATHER RUFESS That was a very nice move Bob did earlier, he got almost everybody to help him paint the house. (to Barnabe) Where are we going? ANGEL BARNABE I want to show you something. They fly to Bob's house where Bob's wife is in her night gown FATHER RUFESS What are we doing here? Who is this woman? ANGEL BARNABE That's Bob's wife. FATHER RUFESS My god she is so beautiful and young, what could she be doing with this old man? Bob's wife start to brush her long dark hair unaware of the two presences. FATHER RUFESS (CONT'D) Hum, I was thinking about something. ANGEL BARNABE What is it? FATHER RUFESS Well, since Bob is in my body, I was thinking that I too should be in his body, just so to comfort his wife. ANGEL BARNABE Good idea and you know what would happen? FATHER RUFESS What? Before Father Rufess can react, the ground opens up to a fiery underworld, filled with evil creatures. FATHER RUFESS (CONT'D) (screaming from the top of his lungs) Oh my god, I am falling into hell. Help me angel Barnabe. ANGEL BARNABE I know what you are thinking, it's called adultery, and that's where it will lead you, down there. FATHER RUFESS (begging) I am sorry, I promise I will never do it again. ANGEL BARNABE (MAKING THE HOLE DISSAPEAR) Good, let's move forward. They move to the next room where Bob's daughter is on her knees, praying. ANGEL BARNABE (CONT'D) This is bob's daughter, I want you to watch her attentively. SOLANGE (PRAYING) Dear God, I want my father to be well and get out of his coma, but please help me that he doesn't reject my fiancÈ. ANGEL BARNABE Watch her aura, that light glowing around her . FATHER RUFESS Okay, I think I can see it . ANGEL BARNABE Now let's go back to the other room. Bob's wife is also praying. DARLENE (PRAYING) Dear father, I thank you for this day, and I come to you as I know that you will help us through our tribulations. ANGEL BARNABE What do you see now? FATHER RUFESS I see a big difference, while the young girl has a very dim light surrounding her, her mother is surrounded by a very bright light. ANGEL BARNABE Why do you think it is so? FATHER RUFESS I don't know? ANGEL BARNABE You heard both prayers, the answer is there; how were the prayers different? FATHER RUFESS I think while they were both praying for the same cause, the young girl's words were filled with fear, anxiety and even doubts, whereas, the mother's was filled with faith. Angel barnabe stands in front of father Rufess. ANGEL BARNABE There is the answer to your prayer. FATHER RUFESS (confused) What, what do you mean? ANGEL BARNABE You started to loose faith; faith in you, in your vocation and indirectly, faith in your relationship with GOD. Father rufess looks at him mesmerized. ANGEL BARNABE (CONT'D) You asked God to help you regain that faith so you could help others, I am now answering your prayer.God is always listening, as he sees the light that emanates from us, it is us , by either our faith or our fear, our selflessness or selfishness, who make that light more or less brilliant. FATHER RUFESS Selfishness? ANGEL BARNABE ReMember the prayers, even though the young girl was praying for her father, she was more concerned about herself. When, on the other end, the mother didn't ask anything for herself. Our prayers should be less about ourselves and more about others. CUT TO INT. CHURCH. NEXT DAY. The next day, Bob is in the confessional when Angela walks in ANGELA Forgives me father as I have sinned BOB Go on. ANGELA Actually, father, I didn't come to confess. BOB (UPET) Why not? Because you are Morris's little clean girl. ANGELA (stunned) What? BOB Never mind. ANGELA Anyway, I am supposed to marry a very successful man, and I should be happy about that; my father is so proud of me, and everybody seem to think it's the right move, but still.... BOB You have doubts? ANGELA I am not sure I love him as I should. BOB Is it because you are a gold digger like your dad? ANGELA (SHOCKED) I beg your pardon? BOB Hey, you want the truth, or is the truth to hard to handle? ANGELA Maybe it is, I mean I like my fiancÈ, but I don't feel that we are as close as we should be, he doesn't make me feel special. BOB Who told you you were? ANGELA Oh my God' BOB What? ANGELA What you just said, just now. BOB That I don't think you are special at all. ANGELA No, you see, until now I always thought that my dad was the only one to think that I was special, but you just helped me see that someone else also thinks that way about me, and I think I feel the same way about him too. BOB So, run to him so you could live happily ever after. ANGELA There is one problem, I don't think my father would approve of us. BOB Well, if the fat, ugly and lazy father of yours really cares about you, he should approve. ANGELA I hope so father, it would break my heart to disappoint my dad. BOB What a good girl, a good clean girl. ANGELA You don't understand father. A dad means the world to his little girl.He is my hero . BOB What are you smoking girl? ANGELA To be honest with you, I never thought I would love another man as much as I love my dad. That's how much I care for him. BOB Whatever, go on now, and be careful about the decisions you are about to make, you can only be with one man, Father Rufess don't like a little slut in his church. ANGELA Oh, okay..... Angela leaves and Barnabe appears ANGEL BARNABE You missed the whole point. BOB What do you mean? Are you talking about that girl's drama? I thought I was on a soap opera for a minute. (miming a girl's voice) I like this one, but I love that one more, not that I am a little slut. ANGEL BARNABE Funny you say that, when you are going through the same problem back home. BOB I only love my wife. ANGEL BARNABE I am talking about your daughter. BOB She doesn't have to choose between two losers, she only has that big dumb, what's his name again.. ANGEL BARNABE Now you are getting there... BOB What are you talking about? ANGEL BARNABE You saw how concerned Angela was about her father, what do you think your daughter feels about you? BOB My daughter doesn't care about what I think. FATHER RUFESS That's what you think, and I can guarantee you that it's not true. BOB Oh my god, look who is giving me advise, a man who likes to wear dresses, and something that is half human half chicken. ANGEL BARNABE Why would I be half chicken? BOB The wings brother, the wings. ANGEL BARNABE You are only saying that because you are scared to confront your feelings. BOB (UPET) And you are scared to admit that your mother is a chicken. FATHER RUFESS Hell is where you belong Bob, there a warm spot there, made just for you. ANGEL BARNABE Bob, I think you should talk to Morris about his daughter's frustration, I believe it will also help you with understanding your own daughter CUT TO EXTERIOR CAFE. NEXT DAY Bob is sitting with Morris outside a cafe. BOB Morris I asked you to meet with me because I am supposed to talk to you about your daughter but what I really want to say is that. Bob is opening his mouth but Angel Barnabe changes his words. BOB (CONT'D) That you are a wonderful person and I respect and honor you. (holding his mouth) Hey that's not what I wanted to say. MORRIS Thank you Father, I feel the same way about you. BOB No you don't get it, you are nothing but a sss, sonnnouo, a samourai, (screaming) What is happening here, is that you again chicken man playing tricks on me, or this time it's the man in black dress? MORRIS (SHOCKED) Chicken man? Man in black dress? Father, are you smoking something? BOB I tell you what I smoke, I smoke eeeuuui, I smoke the word of the lord, oh my god, what is happening to me? MORRIS Anyway, you mentioned something about my daughter? BOB Oh that one she is a ssssss, a sttttt a sweet, and lovely girl; (throwing his hands up) That's it I give up. MORRIS I tell you what, why don't you come with me, I will introduce you to my future son-in law. INT. GYM. SAME DAY -- MOMENTS LATER MORRIS walks in the gym followed by Bob who is greeted by all the boxers. BOB (SMILING) Ah, tender memories. BOXER1 Hey father, I think you made the wrong turn , the church is on the other side. BOB Oh no, this is my church. BOXER2 Sorry, we don't pray here. BOB I will kick both your asses. BOXER1 (laughing) Please father, don't hurt us. BOB So, who is the next champ? BOXER1 Actually, father, the next champion doesn't belong to this gym. His name is Troy, he is Ron's main man. BOB Ron? BOXER1 Morris's future son in law, one stuck up son of a gun. Morris walks back with a man dressed in a suit escorted by a a very muscular young man. MORRIS Father, this is Ron my future son in law, and that's his protege Troy. BOB So Troy I heard you are the next champ. RON (arrogantly) You got it pops, he is going to be the champ, and that means more money in my bank account. MORRIS (giggling) As you can see, Ron is a very confident man. RON Damn right, I got so much confidence, If I could bottle it, I would be a billionaire by now.That's why your daughter loves me, she knows there is nobody else who could treat her like I do. There is nothing else than broke-ass punks around here. Any way, nice meeting you father, but I have to go make me some money.Let's roll Troy. MORRIS (whispering) One day, I will find my champ too. CUT TO INT. MAYOR'S OFFICE. DAY The Mayor is surprised by a visit from Bob and Ruth, a parishioner. MAYOR ED (upset, to Bob) You again, I didn't forget about what you did to those workers, my lawyers and I are going to send you a very nice letter. RUTH (Nervously) I am really sorry mayor, we didn't come to upset you, instead we are begging you to consider not to destroy our cemetery. MAYOR ED I am sorry I can't, my hands are tight. BOB You are nothing but a big liar.We had an agreement... MAYOR ED I was joking that night. Come on, I already signed papers with the builders, you think I could just go and tell them to cancel everything because I made a bet with a priest.We are talking big money here. Do you guys understand? RUTH We are not asking you to void the all deal, we just want the builders to leave the cemetery part alone. MAYOR ED They need that parcel, it's part of the building perimeter they need it for the new mall. RUTH (opening a little map) I noticed that there is a vacant lot that could easily be used in replacement of the cemetery, if I may show you. MAYOR ED (shocked) Excuse me miss, how do you know about that other piece of land? RUTH I work in the assessment office. MAYOR ED Okay, I now understand why they sent you with this fool. Well I know what you mean, but my hands are still tight. BOB (UPSET) You stubborn little mule, you are really starting to discuss me. MAYOR ED And what are you going to do about it? I do have a pair of gloves right in my trunk. BOB Bring it on fat boy. RUTH Please, father, let the mayor explain to us. MAYOR ED Well, as I said before being rudely interrupted. The work has already started, and that is no lie, matter fact it started the same day this nuts went to fight some of the workers. The builders are not going to loose the money they have already invested in the cemetery, and the work done so far. To top it off by asking them to spend more money in another lot, they are going to think that I am crazy. BOB How much? MAYOR ED How much what? BOB How much will it take to compensate the builders? MAYOR ED (perplexed) I don't know of the top of my head, but I can guarantee you that it's no less than $75.000 BOB (SCREAMING) Horse crap! You are lying again. MAYOR ED (GRABBING A CALCULATOR Let's see, you are talking about buying back the cemetery from them, right? RUTH I guess so. MAYOR ED You have to, otherwise they won't just give it away.I mean the only way they are going to consider that other piece of land is if you give them a reasonable offer for the cemetery.So, the cemetery which is a nice size piece of land, plus about two weeks now of labor and other expenses.. BOB What other expenses? MAYOR ED You like details, don't you? How about rental of things like the caterpillar they are using, and all the other tools? You think it's free like the wine you have been drinking a little too much lately? So, hold on, I was wrong about the price; it's not $75.000 RUTH (released) Thank God, how much. MAYOR ED (ADDING NUMBERS ON A CALCULATOR) Honestly, I will say about 110 grand, I had overlooked a couple of things but thanks to our father here, I figured the whole think out. RUTH Oh my God, how are we going to come up with that money? MAYOR ED (LAUGHING) I tell you it's going to take more than the donations on Sundays to come up with that, even if you double up on the ushers, father. RUTH (crying) My god, what are we going to do? MAYOR ED That's your problem. BOB If I punch you right now, that's going to be your problem. MAYOR ED (jumping) Oh I know what, father Rufess could enlist for the lightweight championship; first prize is $250.000 dollar. That will take care of all your problems, of course I don't know if they will accept a priest as a contender? BOB Are you shitting me about that championship? RUTH (SHOCKED) Father!!! MAYOR ED Ask Morris, he knows about it, but you are not seriously thinking about it father? Are you? BOB Don't you worry what I think, just watch your back fat boy. INT. MORRIS GYM -- MOMENTS LATER Bob meets with Morris and tell him about the championship. MORRIS I agree with you father, this will be a nice way to get the money; only problem is that I don't have a good boxer under my belt right now; none of my guys could stand to Troy. BOB Blab, blab, blab , actually I think you do have someone who could stand up to him. MORRIS (shocked) Who are you talking about father? BOB Your assistant, Mario. MORRIS Mario? Na , I don't think so. BOB He is a very good boxer. MORRIS I know, he is really sharp, he is very technical and strong, but he is too nice of a person, he is missing that, that... BOB Killer instinct? MORRIS Exactly, and I tried everything, but I have to admit, I was never able to bring it out of him. BOB Did you noticed that it's because you are a little bit like him, I mean look at your boxing carrier. MORRIS I guess you are right father, I never looked at it that way. BOB I tell you what, you sign him in, and I will help you bring the killer out of him. INT. GYM. SAME DAY Morris and bob are talking to Mario inside Morris's office. MORRIS I mean mario, think about the impact you will have on the whole town, if you win this championship, you will be the local hero. MARIO I can see that, but Troy is pretty tough, do you think I can beat him? MORRIS Are you strong enough? Yes, but to be honest with you, we have to help you with your drive, I mean to be a winner, every part of your body, every bone, every cell has to have that strong desire to win, at any cost. MARIO You don't think I have enough self esteem? BOB Not self esteem, more like killer instinct, if you are too nice, these guys are going to eat you alive. MARIO Well, I do have a couple of victories under my belt. MORRIS I know, but nothing come close to this. (looking at his watch) I have to leave, think about it Mario, I mean, if you ever wanted a serious career in boxing, this could be your chance. Morris leaves and Mario turns to Bob. MARIO (perplexed) Father, I am not sure what to decide. BOB Well I tell you what, if you are worried about developing your killer instinct, I can definitely help you with that. MARIO Not just that, I want to make sure that I am doing that for the right reasons. Not just to impress people. BOB I tell you who you are going to impress a lot; Morris, and that will help you a lot. MARIO I know, and it will help him too, both our carrier... BOB I am not talking just carrier, I am talking about his daughter... MARIO What are you talking about? BOB Come on, don't play stupid, I see the way you look at each other. MARIO (embarrassed) So, you knew all along. BOB Well, doesn't really matter what I know, because you are about to loose her to that prick, what's his name again? MARIO Ron is not a prick father. BOB What! He is a self centered, selfish, greedy bastard. MARIO Bastard... Father! BOB The only reason he is marrying your girl over there, is to wear her like a crown, and once he is tired of her, he will toss her like a used pair of gloves. (leaning forward) So let me ask you that, are you going to let this happen or are you going to do something about it? MARIO It's not just about me, how about her, he is not forcing her... BOB She has no other choices, everyone else seems to be blind, at least this guy has one eye, but I bet you someone shows some balls and things will change. (leaning forward) So tell me Mario, do you have the balls? MARIO Yes I do! BOB (cynically) Then show me your balls son, and I hope that they are really big. Right then, Bob notices one the janitors behind Mario JANITOR (scared to death) Oh my god, I am so sorry, I should I knocked, I am leaving right , I promise I didn't hear a thing about your balls... I mean your conversation. MARIO (to bob) I tell you what, I will put this to serious thoughts.And I will get back to you. BOB Well you better hurry, we don't have a lot of time left to sign you in. MARIO I do want to say that I don't particularly agree with the fact that you had to belittle Ron , I still believe he is a wonderful guy. BOB Well why don't you come with me Sunday, they are giving a small reception after church , we will see how wonderful of a guy he is. CUT TO INT-RON HOUSE -- SUNDAY MORNING Ron and Angela are entertaining guests when Bob and Mario walk in; Angela leaps with joy when she sees Mario and tries to walk towards him, but her fiancee holds her hand firmly and whisper something to her ear, making the smile on her face disappears. BOB You see that, this moron is treating her like a slave. MARIO (sadly) I can see that. Morris stands up and picks up the microphone. MORRIS Hi, I want to thank all of you for coming and celebrate with me the union of two wonderful beings; my daughter and her fiancÈ.As you know I am so so very proud of them... BOB Damn it man, how blind is this guy? MARIO It's not totally his fault, she doesn't want to disappoint her father. BOB What! she is sacrificing her life here. MARIO You don't have a daughter, how could you ever understand? BOB That is not true! MARIO Okay, let's say you did have a daughter, would you selflessly just accept any man she tells you she wants to marry. BOB If it makes her happy, yes ANGEL BARNABE (APPEARING) What? What did you just said? BOB (turning to Barnabe) You heard me, nothing passes before my daughter's happiness. MARIO (CONFUSED) Who are you talking to Father? ANGEL BARNABE Remember that when you go back to your family. BOB Well, I guess I have been kind of blind myself, I will admit to that. FATHER RUFESS Hypocrite as well. BOB (TURNING AROUND) Blinded, I said. MARIO (getting scared) Are you okay father? Who? Who is there? MORRIS (V.O.) Anyone would like to add something? BOB (raising his hand) Me, pick me . Bob walks to Morris and snaps the microphone from his hand. MORRIS (shocked) You can have it, father. BOB (TO MORRIS) Whatever, (to Angela) Angela, angela, angela.What a beautiful girl (to the guests) Isn't she pretty? Well I tell you, with these curves, and sexy body, Ron doesn't know what a lucky bastard he is. ANGELA (EMBARRASSED) Okay! RON Who is he calling a bastard? BOB I tell you , if I wasn't a priest, I would be chasing you myself, and please stop calling me father; call me daddy; whose your daddy? RON (jumping on bob) That's it punk, ¬i am going to kick your ass. Ron throws a few punches, Bob dodges and with one upper cut knocks Ron off. Tyson and the Ron's bodyguards jump on the priest. Morris and Mario try to stop them and the whole ceremony turns into a big fight. INT-MORRIS HOME -- MOMENTS LATER Morris is pacing the floor all upset. Mario is applying alcohol on bob's bruises. MORRIS What the hell happened there, father? BOB You saw it man, they tried to jump me. MORRIS (yelling) Of course they tried, after what you said about my daughter.I want you to go an apologize to Ron right now. BOB I will not do such thing. MORRIS Oh, I got it; that's it, you want to ruin it for my daughter. Man you have gone crazy these past weeks. BOB Face it man, he is not the right man for her. MORRIS What? What are you talking about? BOB He is arrogant, selfish and is using your daughter like a toy, that's until he gets bored with her. MORRIS He is not, Ron is a nice guy. MARIO That's what I thought, until today. MORRIS (to Mario) Not now Mario (to Bob) Anyway, why are we discussing my daughter's choice; she made that decision on her own. BOB She is too worried about disappointing you, can't you see it? Are you that blind? MARIO I have to agree with father Rufess on this one. MORRIS Okay, so what do you want me to do now? Cancel everything? BOB Talk to your daughter, tell her that she doesn't have to sacrifice herself for her blind father, and move on. MORRIS (shaking his head) I don't know, I don't know. BOB Of course you don't know, that's because you still looking at your own interests in Ron. MORRIS You know what , you are right, I'm being a little selfish here, but look at my life. My gym is not doing good at all, I am struggling financially, I mean... MARIO We can overcome that, I promise. MORRIS How? Tell me, how we are going to do that? MARIO I am going to enlist for the championship. With the money we are going to win , we will have enough to save both the cemetery and the gym. BOB That's my boy. MORRIS (to Bob) He is not a boy. (to Mario) What makes you think that you will win? MARIO During the scaffold earlier, I was able to size Troy up, he is not as strong as he looks, I can take him. MORRIS Are you sure? MARIO I will do whatever it takes to save Angela from this punk; I mean you have to go really low to allow yourself to hit a priest? BOB (holding his hands together) Me, a man of God. MORRIS (TO RUFESS) I'm not sure about that Father. (to Mario) I mean this is really crazy. BOB We can do it! MORRIS Oh I believe you can, you are crazy enough, and to be honest with you, I think you are starting to turn me into a crazy man myself. MARIO I am starting to think that there is a method to his madness, I don't think that the fight earlier was an accident. (to Bob) You knew what you were doing. BOB Me? I would have never though of something so devious; anyway, let's celebrate to our new victory; do you have some wine Morris. MORRIS So you can drive me more insane. BOB Come on stop being a ball buster. MORRIS What? BOB You heard me, stop whining like a little girl. MORRIS (looking up) Forgive me heaven for what I was just thinking. BOB Dreaming you meant.. MORRIS Lord if you don't take him away from me now, I think I am going to kill myself. BOB Can you do that right after you finish training him, and just before we get to cash the winning prize. MARIO (SHOCKED) Father! That's a sin. BOB What's a sin? Not sharing? I will share with you, you and I are tight. MARIO I was talking about suicide, that's the ultimate sin towards God. BOB You just worry about troy having you for dinner, if you don't kick his butt, that's going to be considered suicide too, and I will personally bring it up to the big man's attention. MARIO Thanks a lot for the support father. BOB Anytime, son. MORRIS I think wine is a very good idea right now. INTERIOR MARIO'S BEDROOM -- MORNING The next day, Mario is getting ready when Angela burst into his room. ANGELA (furious) What's all this craziness going on? MARIO Good morning Angela. ANGELA Don't give me no good morning. MARIO What's going on? ANGELA What's going on! First my party gets wrecked, then my father starts to tell me that I don't have to marry Ron just to please him, and then I hear that you are going to fight Troy.What is going on? MARIO We just all agreed that it's time to do what's right. ANGELA Could you please explain to me "what's right" means to you. MARIO To start, not letting you marrying that macho man. ANGELA He is not a... Anyway, this is my business, please stay away from it. MARIO Come on Angela, I saw how he forbade you from saying hi to us yesterday; is this the kind of relationship you want to be trapped in? ANGELA (FACE DOWN) We already squared it up. MARIO You are right Angela, you can foul us, but you shouldn't foul yourself, I mean you are not even married yet and he is behaving like that. Imagine what it would be once you become his wife. Angela, you are smarter than that . ANGELA How about you, that's very smart signing up for the championship. MARIO I am a boxer Angela. ANGELA No you are not, you are a trainer, MARIO So you don't think I can fight? ANGELA I didn't say that, it's just that you are too nice. MARIO I know, and nice guys always finish last.Well this is the time when I am going to have to put the niceness on the side and help my community. ANGELA I know that you are trying to perform a very noble act, but I guess what I am trying to say is that you can get badly hurt if you are not careful . MARIO No pain no gain. ANGELA I just don't know if I will be able to take it. MARIO (softly) Angela. They both stare at each other for a long time. ANGELA Just promise me that you will be careful, and I, I will promise you that I'm not going to get married any time soon, at least not until everything is clear in my mind. MARIO Fair enough. She walks to him and hugs him for a long time. They both hold on to each other. When she looks at him again, they are about to kiss. ANGELA (holding herself) Oh my God; I have to go. MARIO Angela, no, please wait. She runs out. MARIO (CONT'D) (whispering) I love you Angela. INT-GYM -- AFTERNOON Bob shows up in t-shirt and shorts, stirring all the attention.He joins Morris who is standing outside the ring watching Mario and another boxer fighting. BOB So ¬I heard my boy signed up this morning. BOXER (V.O.) Nice legs father. BOB (to boxer) Thanks honey. (to Morris) No wonder why you don't have any champions, all your boxers are too busy checking other men's legs. MORRIS Father, tell me that you did not come all the way over here to talk bad about my guys, because I will send you right back to your church. BOB My dear Morris, sometimes I just want to break your jaws, cut open your eyebrows, and punch you so hard, you won't even remember your mama's name. MORRIS I bet you do father, what are you doing here anyway? BOB Just came to support Rocky over here. FULL SHOT GYM. SAME DAY Bob is getting very upset over the training. BOB (SCREAMING) What are you two doing? Dancing salsa or what. MORRIS Father calm down. BOB (jumping inside the ring) Give me your gloves miss. The other boxer hands his gloves to Bob. MARIO Father I am not going to hit priest. BOB Well I am about to kick your butt, and you better fight or be humiliated for the rest of your life. Bob starts to push Mario around with a couple of jabs and quick moves. MORRIS (shocked) I'll be damned. INT-GYM -- MOMENTS LATER BOB (removing his gloves) Now that's what you call training. MORRIS Actually, I never seen someone pushing Mario like you did. BOB And that's exactly what he needs in order to win. MORRIS I am very curious though father, where did you learn all these moves. BOB Hum, well, at the monastery. MORRIS Monastery? BOB Yeap, yeap, you know, to defend ourselves against thieves and wild animals. MORRIS Thieves and wild animals? BOB (looking dead at Morris) If I tell you, would you believe it? More so would you keep it a secret? MORRIS Sure father. BOB Actually, this was my previous incarnation I was talking about.Yes I used to be a Chinese monk; he how. MORRIS Chinese monk? BOB (leaving) Yes, and I was so much against the catholic church then, look now what God turned me into. INT-BOB'S HOUSE -- EVENING The phone rings and Bob's wife; Darlene picks it up. DARLENE Hallo. BOB It's me, I am calling you quick to tell you that I miss you very much. DARLENE (shocked) Who is this? BOB Come on it's me, you don't recognize my voice. DARLENE I am sorry but I have no clue. BOB Damn it, I forgot that I was a priest. DARLENE A priest? Who are you? BOB It's me, the only man you ever loved. DARLENE What? I never loved a priest. BOB No it's me Bob. DARLENE (getting upset) Is this some kind of a joke? Cause I don't like it. BOB It's me baby, DARLENE Whoever this is I must let you know that my poor husband has been in a coma for quite a while, and I don't appreciate... BOB I know, let me explain, it's kind of complicated, just listen. DARLENE Okay, BOB After the car accident, and angel put me inside the body of a priest so that I can help Morris train his boxer. DARLENE Who is Morris? BOB The punk who kicked my ass in 1983, remember? DARLENE (calmly) So let me get this right, you mean to tell me that my husband is now a priest who is training a boxer. BOB (laughing) You got it, crazy right? Darlene hangs up on his face, he calls back. DARLENE Listen, mister, or father; whoever you are, I am going to ask you never to call my house again. BOB Hold on just a second, it's me Bob, I swear. DARLENE Prove it. BOB Okay, okay, wait, our last anniversary you surprised me with that nice, red lingerie and we did it right in the living room, Solange almost walked on us. DARLENE (hanging up the phone) What a sick man, oh my God, I am being stalked by a priest. The phone rings again, and Darlene rushes to it. DARLENE (CONT'D) Listen father jerk, I told you never to call here again, and if I catch you spying on me with my red lingerie, I will go to your church and it's going to be hell. MAN'S VOICE (O.S.) Darlene this is your father, are you alright. INT-BOXING ARENA -- NIGHT It's Mario's first fight and he is struggling. BOB (to Morris) Boy you weren't kidding when you said that Mario needed to be tougher. MORRIS Why? BOB Look at him, he looks like he is afraid to hit the man, we are going to loose our first fight. RON (SCREAMING FROM THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS) Hey, Father, looks like your boy better try priesthood. BOB (TO RON) I just have to show him how I kicked your butt last time. (to Morris) We have to do something, help me out here. MORRIS (UPET) I am doing my best, what else do you want me to do. BOB (YELLING) Well your best is not enough; tell me for example what upsets him the most MORRIS I don't know, I never asked him.. BOB Something must be pissing him off, what do the guys use to make fun of him? MORRIS Let me think for a second... BOB (YELLING) You better hurry, the round is almost over. MORRIS (JUMPING) I got it, he hates when we talk about his mother . BOB Why? MORRIS She is my age and dresses more sexy than a 18 year old girl. BOB Oh, she is a hoochy mama. MORRIS You might call it so. The bell rings and Mario walks to his corner. MARIO How was I? MORRIS You are doing good. BOB Bullish, my little sister can do better than that. MORRIS You do need to be more aggressive out there, your are giving your opponent too many slacks. The bell rings and Mario jumps up. BOB By the way Mario. MARIO (turning around) Yes father. BOB I forgot to tell you that I met with your mama yesterday, what a dish, and the rack on her, divine. Mario gives a killer look to Bob and within seconds knocks his opponent out. MORRIS (stunned) Mother of.... MARIO (pacing, walking back toward bob) I don't care if you are a father or not, you ever talk about my mother like that, I will kill you. BOB Well at least, it drove the animal out of you. MARIO Don't you have any respect for anything? Mario walks away. MORRIS You went a little to far there. BOB But it worked! MORRIS This time only, Mario is not going to fall for it next time. BOB We will just have to come up with something else next time. INT-BOXING ARENA -- EVENING Mario is getting ready for his second fight.Morris is getting him ready while Bob is standing next to them. BOB Damn it, that stupid mayor decided to show up tonight. MORRIS Where is he? BOB Right there with his buddy, your future son in law; Jerks. ANGEL BARNABE (APPEARING) Hey, easy on the swears, you don't want to push me. FATHER RUFESS Nice move last time, calling your wife while you are still in my body. BOB (TO RUFESS) Shut your mouth. MARIO Who are you talking to like that. ANGEL BARNABE Nice one! BOB (TO BARNABE) Hey I missed my boo, her lips, her touch. FATHER RUFESS Her red lingerie. BOB Son of a bitch. ANGEL BARNABE&MARIO Last warning, man!!! MORRIS Never mind this fool, he is just trying to get you excited. FATHER RUFESS (jumping) By George, I got it. (grabbing Mario's hand) I am so sorry, (looking up) But you are still a son of a bitch. Bob gets a big electrical shock and passes it right on to Mario.Within the first few minutes, Mario knocks his opponent and walks back to his corner, his hair up like Don King.The Mayor and Ron are oblivious. MORRIS (stunned) Man I don't know what you just did, but it's working. INT-RON'S OFFICE--MONTHS LATER Mayor Ed is scratching his head sitting on top of a leather chair while Ron is nervously pacing the floor between the desk and the door. MAYOR ED I guess we all under estimated this Mario, so far he has knocked down all his opponents, some people are starting to say that he is better than Troy. RON (slamming the table) Hell no, this good for nothing has just been lucky, but Troy and I are more than ready for him. MAYOR ED Suit yourself, but if Mario ends up winning, the whole deal with the mall is over. RON Don't worry mayor, nobody is going to mess this deal for me. (to himself) If ¬i could only find out Mario's weakness. MAYOR ED Well you only have two days left to find out.The final fight is Friday night and it's already Wednesday. The mayor leaves and Ron sinks himself in the chair, suddenly the door slams wide open. Troy and his trainer run inside. TROY Boss we got something. And you are going to like it. RON What, what is it? Troy inserts a tape inside the v.c.r and an image appear on the screen showing father Rufess and Mario before the fights. RON (CONT'D) (upset) I am not in the mood to see these two clowns. TROY Wait, boss, watch carefully, specially the priest. Ron watches as father Rufess and Mario start to shake before the fight. TROY (CONT'D) We were watching the fights, then we noticed how every time before Mario starts a fight, Father Rufess puts his hand on top of his, and they both start to shake, at first we though they were praying, then we noticed how Mario's hair would rise. RON Hold on play it again, slowly. Troy plays the video again. RON (CONT'D) But, it looks like he is swearing at Mario. TROY I don't know exactly what he says, but it seems to provoke some kind of electric charge which obviously stimulate Mario, just like steroids. RON Oh my god! TROY What do we do then? RON Well it's hard to prove anything here. What are we going to tell the cops? That the priest is a walking power house? TRAINER It could also be the things he says that gets Mario mad enough, this guy can really get under anybody skin. RON Tell me about it. TROY Maybe it's the combination of both. RON No matter what, that priest is bad news. TROY What do we do? RON (TO TROY) Go get Steve and Mike. (grinning) I don't think the priest is going to be able to attend the fight on Friday. EXT-STREET --THURSDAY NIGHT. Mario and Angela are walking side by side. MARIO Thank you so much for this excellent dinner Angela, I hope it's not going to create any problems between you and Ron. ANGELA What do you mean? MARIO Well, I believe I am the last guy Ron wants to see at all, never mind around his fiancee. ANGELA You are right; champ. Mario smiles but doesn't answer. ANGELA (CONT'D) How does it feel? MARIO to be here with you? Great. ANGELA (LAUGHING) Not that, I meant to be winning all your fights, you dummy. MARIO Oh that, great I guess. ANGELA Great I guess? That's humility right there. MARIO Well, I tell you what makes me really proud, it's when I see how much hope I bring to people, they look at me saying to themselves that if I could accomplish so much, coming from nothing, they too could accomplish great things. ANGELA That's excellent! MARIO The tickets have all been sold out my last four fights. ANGELA I am even happier to see how you boosted everybody's moral, in this town, everybody I meet with calls you a hero, they start to believe that you are really going to help us save the cemetery. (stopping to look at him) I am very proud of you Mario MARIO (shyly) Enough about me, anyway I couldn't do it without your father's support. ANGELA And father Rufess MARIO Who could forget this one. They both laugh. MARIO (CONT'D) But seriously, how have you been. ANGELA Well, I guess. I put the marriage on hold as I told you, not that it matters anyway, Ron is so busy with Troy, that I could drop dead in front of him and he still wouldn't notice. MARIO What a fool. ANGELA Why do you call him that? MARIO I am sorry, but I mean look at you, Angela, you are gorgeous, any other man will kill for someone like you. ANGELA (smiling) Any other man? MARIO Yes, any other man. ANGELA It's funny, nobody beside him has declared his love for me, (looking around) I don't see anybody, do you. MARIO Well maybe they thought you wouldn't consider them. ANGELA Why would they assume that? MARIO Maybe because they don't have Ron's money. ANGELA Then they don't know me very well, because I will never marry someone based on financial gain. MARIO I guess they never got the courage. ANGELA Well, I don't know what to say then.. They walk in silence to Angela's car. ANGELA (CONT'D) (opening the door) Do you need a lift. MARIO I'm fine, I will just walk . Angela kisses him and gets in her car. MARIO (CONT'D) Angela wait. ANGELA What is it Mario. MARIO Have you ever had feelings for someone else beside Ron? ANGELA (confused) Why are you asking me that? MARIO (taking a deep breath) Because I have been in love with you ever since the first day I laid eyes on you Angela. ANGELA (shocked) Oh my god Mario ! Angela is getting ready to come out her cars when two girls are calling her. GIRLFRIEND1 Thank god we saw you Angela, we need a ride home. GIRLFRIEND2 It's my dad's birthday and our car just broke down. ANGELA Okay, just, please give me a minute.I have something to tell Mario GIRLFRIEND1 Oh sorry girl, hi Mario. GIRLFRIEND2 Hey handsome. MARIO (smiling) Hi ladies. ANGELA Mario, I didn't know, and now, I don't know what to say, I am so confused. MARIO You don't have to say anything, I am just glad I was finally able to get it out of my chest. GIRLFRIEND2 (V.O.) Angela, are you ready? ANGELA Wait one second. MARIO We can talk about it later. ANGELA You Promise? MARIO (smiling) Promised. Angela leaves and Mario takes another deep breath. INT-CHURCH--SAME NIGHT. Bob is lying in his bed, trying to sleep.Father Rufess and Angel barnabe are on his side. FATHER RUFESS I mean, it's just like cheating. BOB No it's not; the kid is very nice, and a good boxer also, but he doesn't have a lot of balls, so I push him a little bit; I mean out of everyone, you should be the most supportive, cause he is kind of like you; with no balls. FATHER RUFESS Don't push me. BOB Oh I am getting scared. FATHER RUFESS Can't you see that you are cheating, using my body. BOB And you should thank me. FATHER RUFESS Oh please, tell me why I should thank you. BOB Look at your masses, they are full all the time now, thanks to my little cheating.Actually, I know why you are accusing me of cheating; it's because you are jealous. FATHER RUFESS That's insane. BOB You are jealous because I actually had the balls to do something about this whole situation, and you know what; that whole body swapping thing; too complicated I think, all you really needed was to get laid; at least one good time in your lifetime.Don't worry, I think I can still help you with that.Girls only though, I am not messing with little boys. FATHER RUFESS That's insane , (to barnabe) I hope you are going to stop him. ANGEL BARNABE I agree with rufess here, I also agree about the electric shocks you have been dispensing to your trainee. FATHER RUFESS My point exactly. BOB (jumping out of the bed) So I've been a bad boy, please spank me father, spank me, you know you like that. FATHER RUFESS (SHOCKED) This man is the rudest being on the entire surface of the earth. ANGEL BARNABE Bob, remember the lesson you learned at the haunted house. BOB Damn it, not the haunted house again; (to father Rufess) Okay I will be cool. FATHER RUFESS (to Barnabe) If we know that they are cheating, we have to make them stop. ANGEL BARNABE I agree a hundred per cent. FATHER RUFESS How will Mario ever believe in himself? Bob is not always going to be around shocking him. ANGEL BARNABE Again I agree. FATHER RUFESS So what are you suggesting then ? ANGEL BARNABE Patience. FATHER RUFESS Patience? I don't understand. ANGEL BARNABE Watch, with a little bit of patience, and you will see divine work in the process. OUTSIDE-STREET-NEXT DAY. -- NIGHT Bob is on his way to the gym when a car stops in front of him and two masked men jump out. MASKED MAN1 Hey father, be cool and come with us. BOB What the... what's going on here. MASKEDMAN2 You don't want us to hurt you, do you? BOB I will like to see that. The men start fighting with Bob and seem to get a hold of him, when ; after falling on the floor from receiving a blow, bob gets up and start to rip his priest's robe like a maniac. MASKEDMAN2 (WATCHING BOB) This guy is crazy. With one blow Bob knocks one of the guys out. MASKED MAN1 Oh, oh, I am out of here. Bob starts to chase after him and finally catches up with him. BOB (panting) Got you now. (removing the mask from his face) Who sent you? Suddenly someone knocks Bob out with a bat. RON (the bat in his hand, walking over bob's body) It's not time for you to find that out yet. MASKED MAN1 I am sorry boss, he was like possessed or something. He knocked Mike out with one blow. RON (discussed) You are just pitiful, throw him in the car and shut your mouth. INT-HANGAR -- LATER Bob wakes up inside a big hangar full of sealed boxes of all sizes. BOB (MOANING) My head, where am I? MASKED MAN1 Shut up, we ask the questions here. BOB What do you want from me? MASKED MAN1 What did I just said? Stubborn mule. MASKEDMAN2 Well, let's just say that you will not be attending the fight tonight. BOB (SCREAMING) You can't do that, you don't have the right. (shocked) Oh my God, I know who is behind all this; it's Ron, isn't it? That rotten bastard. MASKED MAN1 Rotten or not, we are going to see how your little champ is going to survive without your help tonight. (to MASKED MAN 2) Watch him closely, I have to go check on that last shipment. INT-BOXING ARENA -- MOMENTS LATER Angela is running towards the ring, the crowd is screaming while Troy is beating the hell out of Mario. ANGELA (screaming at her father) Daddy, please make them stop the fight. Troy is going to kill him. MORRIS (screaming back) Where the hell is father Rufess? ANGELA (still screaming) I don't know, I couldn't find him anywhere. the bell rings and Mario literally crawls to his corner. ANGELA (CONT'D) Dad, I need to talk to Mario. MORRIS (WHIPING THE BLOOD OFF MARIO'S FACE) You can't climb up here, we will get in trouble. Angela walks closer to the ring. ANGELA (to Mario) Mario, Ron told me that father rufess was giving you some kinds of shocks before the fights.Is that true? MORRIS Not now Angela, not now, go home. ANGELA I need to hear it from him. MARIO (without looking at her) Yes it's true.Now you heard it Angela, I am a cheater. MORRIS (upset) You are really helping a lot right now Angela. ANGELA I didn't come here to call you a cheater, what I wanted to tell you is that you didn't need to do that to win, you need to believe in your own self Mario. MARIO Well, it doesn't matter any more, I practically lost the fight. ANGELA It still does, to me. MARIO (looking at her) Why, you are going to be with Ron any way. RON (grabbing Angela) You are right about that pal. (to Angela) What are you doing in this corner? You belong with us. ANGELA (pushing Ron away) No, I belong here.I don't want to be with you anymore. RON (slapping her) Don't you ever disrespect me like that in front of those losers. Angela falls and Morris has to hold Mario back. MARIO (yelling from the top of his lung) Don't you ever put your hands on her again. RON What are you going to do about that? The bell rings and the referee runs to help Morris holding up Mario. REFEREE (SCREAMING AT MARIO) Are going to fight or do I have to forfeit you? MORRIS (TO MARIO) Go do your thing champ, we will take care of Ron later, nobody hits my girl. MARIO (cynically) We are going to fight referee, oh yeah, and it's going to be a good one. INT-HANGAR -- NIGHT MASKEDMAN2 (LISTENING TO THE RADIO) Damn it, the fight is turning around, your boy is now kicking troy's ass. Ron must be pissed. FATHER RUFESS That's my boy. MASKEDMAN2 So, you weren't helping him with those electric shocks? FATHER RUFESS Actually I was. MASKEDMAN2 Bullish, I knew that was all rubbish. Priests don't have this kind of power. FATHER RUFESS I do, and ¬I can show you too. MASKEDMAN2 You are lying. FATHER RUFESS I'm not, but I will only show you if you tell me where all this merchandise is coming from. MASKEDMAN2 (excited) Are you really going to show me? FATHER RUFESS As soon as you tell me. MASKEDMAN2 For what I know, a lot of this is coming from the black market. FATHER RUFESS Oh my, I knew Ron was a low life, but a crook Unbelievable. MASKEDMAN2 Well, father, it's very hard to make a lot of money and stay clean.So are you going to show me now? FATHER RUFESS Okay, grab a piece of metal. MASKEDMAN2 What for? FATHER RUFESS To use as a conduit, unless you want to hold my hands. MASKEDMAN2 Oh I get it, I got one right here. The mask man grabs a pipe and gives one hand to father Rufess while holding the other hand. MASKEDMAN2 (CONT'D) I still don't believe you. FATHER RUFESS (A CYNICAL SMILE ON HIS FACE) Oh believe it. (screaming) Mother sucker. The shock is so powerful that it causes the man to fall. Bob uses the pipe to knock him down. BOB (GRABBING THE HADCUFFS'S KEYS) I told you to believe. Once he handcuffs the man, Bob grabs his cell phone and starts dialing. INT-ROOM-SAME NIGHT. Morris, Mario and Angela are in a private room celebrating Mario's victory when Morris's cell phone rings. MORRIS (picking up his cell phone) Hello. BOB Morris, this is Bob, I mean father Rufess. MORRIS Where the hell have you been? We were looking all over for you. BOB Did he win? MORRIS (SMILING) Splendidly. BOB (jumping) That's my boy. MORRIS Where are you? BOB I am in a big hangar, I don't know where. MORRIS What are you doing there? BOB Ron had two of his men kidnap me. MORRIS Oh my god. (to Mario and Angela) We have to find Ron, he kidnapped father Rufess. MARIO (jumping up) I'm going to get him. MORRIS No, the crowd will be all over you. I am going to find him, we have some unfinished business anyway. You two try to sneak out to the car, I will call you from my cell phone as soon as I find out which hangar. INT-HANGAR-SAME NIGHT. Bob, finally finds the front door to the hangar, as soon as he opens it, a car pulls up in front of him, he tries to run back in. ANGELA (ROLLING DOWN HER WINDOW) Father, it's us, don't be scared BOB Oh thank goodness, I thought it was the other guy coming back. MARIO What other guy ? BOB They were two, one is handcuffed inside, we have to call... Bob doesn't get to finish his sentence when a second car pulls up and the driver starts shooting at them. BOB (CONT'D) Oh my god there is the other one. Bob jumps inside the car and Mario takes off, the other car starts to chase after them. ANGELA (screaming) This guy is going to kill us. MARIO (driving like a maniac) What do I do now father? BOB I don't know ! (to Barnabe) What do we do now? MARIO (SCREAMING) I am asking you. BOB (POINTING UP) And I am asking him. ANGEL BARNABE (APPEARING) Tell him to turn right. BOB Turn right. ANGEL BARNABE Now tell him left. BOB Turn left. ANGELA Where are we going? BOB I don't know. ANGEL BARNABE Now tell him to stop here. BOB (TO BARNABE) Hell no, I am not getting shot tonight. ANGEL BARNABE Please thrust me. BOB Only if you can stop those bullets. FATHER RUFESS Look around Bob, you recognize this place. BOB (looking around) Oh my god, this is by Diane's house. Stop here Mario. MARIO Are you crazy, this guy is right behind us, I am trying to get us to the police station. BOB We might not make it, stop now, I have a better idea. Mario, press as hard as he can on the brakes, all three run out and father Rufess takes them to Diane's house. BOB (CONT'D) (ringing Diane's house like crazy) Please Diane, open the door. DIANE (opening the door) Who the hell..oh my god; father. BOB (pushing Mario and Angela in) Please Diane, hide them for me, and call the police. MARIO Where are you going, father? BOB (running away) I have to get this man's attention. The other car pulls behind Mario's car and the other kidnapper gets out in time to see Bob jumping the fence. MASKED MAN1 Stop, father, or I am going to shoot. BOB (on the other side of the fence) You will have to catch me first. The man starts to chase Bob who disappears inside the haunted house. MASKED MAN1 (slowly walking into the haunted house) You are dead father, you heard, dead. All of a sudden, he hears a noise and starts shooting. MASKED MAN1 (CONT'D) (lowering his gun) I got you. Suddenly a bright light appears from nowhere, plates start to fly, and cabinets doors are violently opening and closing. DEEP VOICE Why are you disturbing my peace. MASKED MAN1 (trembling) Mama mia. DEEP VOICE Get out of my dwelling. A bunch of plates start flying at the man's face and he runs out into two officers. MASKED MAN1 (screaming at the policemen) Please help me, oh God help me. POLICE OFFICER You are under arrest. MASKED MAN1 (CRYING) Yes, please arrest me officers, take me far way from here. The officers take the man away while Morris pulls up MORRIS (RUNNING TOWARD HIS DAUGHTER) Oh my god, what happened? Are you guys okay. ANGELA (jumping in her father's hand) We are all fine daddy.. BOB I can't say the same about that poor guy. MARIO What did you do to him? BOB Me, not a thing, and you can believe me this time. They all start laughing. INT-CHURCH-- SUNDAY There is full attendance at the church. Mario, Angela , Morris and Diane are sitting in the front rows. BOB (TO THE CROWD) Oh my God, what a crazy week, can I get a Amen. CROWD Amen! FATHER RUFESS This is not a Protestant's church. BOB (TO RUFESS) Shut up. (to the crowd) Like I said, what a crazy week, but a lot of good things came out of it. Bobs looks at the cheering crowd. BOB (CONT'D) We've got our cemetery back. CROWD Amen BOB Some individuals are not going to be bothering us for a long time, you all know who I am talking about. CROWD Amen. BOB (POINTING AT MARIO AND ANGELA) And two beautiful people are now able to freely express their love for each other. (to Angela and Mario) Hey, no kissing in my church.Okay, maybe a little bit. Mario and angela kiss tenderly. BOB (CONT'D) (screaming) I feel good! BOB (CONT'D) By the way , these two are getting married, and you are all invited, that's right (to Morris) Don't even start crying, you cheap only God knows what. You better be happy you finally have a champion in your gymnast, and I have to admit, you are a hell of a trainer. Morris raises Mario's hand and the crowd cheers with joy. BOB (CONT'D) And of course I want to to let all of you know that we should all be very proud of this young lady, who pretty much saved our life.Our ugly duckling: Diane. Diane stands and the crowd screams even louder. BOB (CONT'D) Look at what the miracle a little self confidence can do, this girl is beautiful, amen? CROWD Amen. BOB (sitting on the steps) I tell you, this is the most interesting experience I've ever gone through.And I want to say, that I will never forget it.Never; a lot of valuable lessons here; a lot. FATHER RUFESS Oh God help us, he is going to screw it all up. ANGEL BARNABE Have some kind of faith, please. BOB Among all, I think we all learned how important it is to keep the faith. CROWD Amen. BOB I personally learned that it's no use to hold on grudges. CROWD Amen to that. BOB It's a poison that will turn you into a very sour and unpleasant person, unpleasant toward your friends, family, and at the end, it will destroy you. CROWD You said it. MAYOR ED (SITTING IN THE CROWD) Whatever! BOB So today, in this day of the lord, I want anyone of us who is still holding a grudge to let it go and forgive whoever it is who hurt them. CROWD Amen BOB I don't think some of you heard me, or if you did, I can still feel that you didn't let go of it. CROWD Amen, amen. BOB (SCREAMING) You have to let that poison go, you have to close your heart to it's darkness so that you can open it to God. CROWD Amen BOB (whispering) Cause it will kill you I said. CROWD Amen. BOB I am going to ask the angel to help me so that I can help whoever, here, today isn't able to forgive. (putting his hand together) Angel who watches over us, please help us. MAYOR ED (SCREAMING) Oh my god, what is this, church or some kind of theater? BOB (eyes closed) There is in this place, two women who used to be like sisters , and because of a man, haven spoken for 8 years and it's killing the both of them, so in the name of love this nonsense stops today. Everybody looks around silently. Suddenly one of the woman stands up crying. WOMAN (sobbing) Oh my lord, I can't take this anymore, I want my sister to know that I forgave her, and I want her to forgive me. As the other woman rushes to hug her, the whole crowd cheers up. BOB Hallelujah CROWD Amen BOB (HIS HAND BEHIND HIS EAR) I am sorry angel, there is more? What? Ten years; a man and a woman this time.Please, whoever this is; Time is up. Under the guidance of Angel barnabe, Bob keeps calling names and people just break down in tears. MAYOR ED (laughing) I tell you; this is better than soap opera. BOB Finally, I want all of you to calm down for a bit, because, the last case is probably the most serious, and it involves all of us . Everybody sits silently. BOB (CONT'D) The main victim, as it's being revealed to me, is, oh my God, our mayor. MAYOR ED (shocked) What? BOB I believe our Mayor is carrying a very heavy load, and today, we are going to help him unload it. MAYOR ED (SARCASTICALLY) The only load I carry is the nightmare you had me going through this past few weeks father. BOB I have here, someone who will help you unload all the pain that you are are carrying. (to a parishioner) Matthew please stand up. (to the crowd) Most of you know Matthew, he is the one in charge of the maintenance of the cemetery, he is also Diane's uncle.What some of you don't know, is that he was also the cousin, and confident of our mayor's late mother... MATTHEW Ann-Marie ...that was her name. MAYOR ED (NERVOUSLY) Oh lord, what is this fool going to pull now? BOB Mayor Ed, I am not trying to embarrass you, but you and I know that there is a very personal reason behind your desire to eradicate our cemetery, that same reason that is making you incapable of forgiveness. MAYOR ED Oh yeah, how do you know about it? BOB The angel standing behind me told me, and today, we are going to bring the truth out, with the help of your uncle Matthew to help you today mayor. MAYOR ED (LAUGHING) An angel standing by him, he means a devil. MATTHEW (WALKING TO THE PODIUM) Well, hello everybody, my name is Matthew TOLER, I am the proud uncle of this beautiful girl. (pointing at Diane) A wonderful girl. I work at the cemetery, as most of you know, I am a single man... BOB Tell us about Anne-Marie, please.. MATTHEW Oh yes, excuse me, you see, it's not that often that I get to stand in front of a microphone...and a lot of people know that Anne -Marie was my cousin, she was a very quiet and reserved person like Diane, and just like her, she was also a wonderful person.One day Anne-Marie or Annie like I used to call her started to talk to me about Michael DUART; Ed's father.She used to tell me how wonderful of a man he was, but how unhappy he was in his marriage.Soon after, I met with the man himself. Annie got me a job as Michael's chauffeur, and my cousin was right, Michael was one of the most wonderful persons I had ever met. MAYOR ED (sweating) This is not good. MATTHEW Unfortunately, I also saw the sadness in this great man's eyes. As much as he was busy trying to help anyone who came to him, the greed, selfishness and complete lack of care from his wife was getting to him. (pounding on the podium) And I am here today to let you all know that my cousin did not go after a married man, that story is a lie, made up by his wife. I was there the day he caught his wife cheating on him, I drove him to his lawyer when he decided to divorce her because he couldn't take her lies no more.I saw this man cry like a baby. It's me who asked Annie to help him keep himself together, and that's how their romance started. They truly loved each other; with respect and honesty, it was as if they were made for one another, but they both wanted to wait until the divorce was final because they didn't want to offend anyone.His wife wouldn't sign, and oh my lord when she ever found out that he was finally happy; hell broke loose; the threats, the fights, it was horrible.She did everything. She wasn't going to win until we found out that Annie was pregnant; then that evil lady and her lawyer fabricated all kind of lies, promising to destroy Annie and her baby forever. (TO MAYOR ED) It's to protect you, that your father gave in into his wife; he wanted to swallow the poison that was coming out of her so that you and your mother could remain safe.Unfortunately his poor heart couldn't take it and he left us when you were too young to understand; his wife of course used her power and her money to destroy your mother and make her look like a cheap hooker, and your mother never responded to her attacks. Even when I used to get upset at some of the things I heard, she would be the one to calm me down.Annie tried to move on and had Diane, but that lady wouldn't stop her lies, she persecuted your mother until the day she died. Unfortunately, the damage that this woman had done was so big that even you suffered it most of your life; but you still pulled it off, you made it to the position of mayor, with such a bad name wrongly attached to you. I am so proud of you. MAYOR ED (tears running down his face) I can't do this, I can't take this any more. MATTHEW Your parents truly loved each other, and they loved you; and that's the truth, no matter what anyone tries to tell you; nobody knows it like I do.I wished you had allowed me to tell you that earlier, but you never really acknowledged me or your sister; I figured we were too poor for you, or that you were ashamed of us since we were related to your mother.When I heard that you wanted to destroy the cemetery I knew that you actually did it out of anger towards a father you thought was ashamed of you.A rich man who took advantage of your mother and then dropped her like a hot pan.Today the truth has come out. MAYOR ED (A CRUEL LOOK ON HIS FACE) In front of the whole town like a soap opera. BOB Because everybody needs to know the truth and also needs to apologize to you. MAYOR ED (SCREAMING FROM THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS) I don't need apologies, it doesn't do me no good now, I felt so much pain that I can't feel anything now, can any of you morons understand that? MATTHEW One more thing! MAYOR ED (SCREAMING) What is it now? MATTHEW When your mother died, I was asked to bury her in the other cemetery, alone. MAYOR ED And? MATTHEW That's not where she is, she is actually next to your father. MAYOR ED I thought his wife was the one... MATTHEW (SMILING) That's one of the advantages of working in the cemetery, specially at night; I did it in homage to their love , and what they believed in. MAYOR ED (running out of the church) Oh my God. INT-CEMETERY- SAME DAY Mayor Ed is standing in front of his parents tombs. Father Rufess carefully joins him. MAYOR ED You did all this because you knew that I was going to have the federation forfeit Mario's victory because of your little cheating. BOB What I did was wrong; but Mario won his fight against Troy; and you know it. This has nothing to do with it anyway. The mayor remains silent for a long time. MAYOR ED Why did you do that? Why did you embarrass me like that? And you call yourself a priest? You stand there and talk about forgiveness; how dare you? Father rufess remains silent. MAYOR ED (CONT'D) (in a broken voice) All my life I hated this man, I hated him because of the things I accused him of doing to my mother and I, and today, I find out that everything he did, was to protect us; (crying) How can I love him when all I ever knew was to hate him? BOB (wrapping his arm around him) You can still love him, believe me, you can. MAYOR ED (crying, kneeling down) Oh my God, could you ever forgive me? INT RECEPTION HALL- -- NIGHT The whole church is at the rehearsal dinner.Father Rufess is going crazy on the dance floor; sitting quietly on a corner, Diane is watching. YOUNG MAN (TO DIANE) Hi! DIANE (shyly) Hi YOUNG MAN You look nice today, I mean tonight. DIANE Thank you. YOUNG MAN You probably saw me before. You are in some of my classes, and I live two houses away from you. DIANE Sorry, I don't remember seeing you. YOUNG MAN (SADLY) It's not your fault, I was always too scared to approach you, mostly scared about what my friends were going to think about me. DIANE It's okay, YOUNG MAN (EXTENDING HIS HAND) Friends now? DIANE (SHOCKED) I'm sorry? YOUNG MAN I want to be your friend, can I? DIANE (smiling) Friends then. YOUNG MAN Well then, my friend, would you like to dance with me? DIANE I don't know, I don't dance much; (jumping off her seat) Oh well, nothing wrong with trying. The young couple leaves and Morris takes a seat at the bar.He watches father Rufess finishing a dance. CROWD Go father; go father go, go, go father. BOB (talking to the girl he had just finish dancing with) Chantal, you have been a very bad girl tonight, I want you first thing at the confessional next week. CHANTAL (FLIRTING) Why? Are you going to spank me father? BOB I will take those devils out of you child, I might leave a few in, cause it's no fun being a hundred per cent good. MORRIS (waving at bob) Father, over here, I have a drink here for you. BOB (grabbing the drink) Good my son, I will ask the almighty to allow you to see his paradise. MORRIS Thanks father. BOB Of course that's before he throws you in the fire. MORRIS (SHOCKED) Oh, thanks a lot father. BOB Any time, nice party. MORRIS For you, definitely, I saw how you was shaking it out there. BOB I haven't felt this young for a long time, but you won't understand. Talking about shaking it; your daughter and her fiancÈ haven't left the dance floor since it opened up. MORRIS (SMILING) I am so glad she is with him, he is a wonderful person.He is a real hero. BOB By the way, talking a bout hero, I never asked you who was your favorite boxer? Ali? Foreman? MORRIS (SHAKING HIS HEAD) None of them. BOB Who then? Someone younger? Mike Tyson? MORRIS Nope! BOB Who? Damn it. MORRIS A man named Robert GREEN. BOB Ha, ha, funny.No really. MORRIS I am serious! BOB Stop making fun of me. MORRIS How am I making fun of you? BOB You know what, forget it. MORRIS Father, this guy exist, I am not pulling your leg. BOB I know he exist, believe me I do. MORRIS (SHOCKED) How do you know about him? BOB Well, I do know that you beat him, years ago, putting an end to his glorious carrier. MORRIS I admired him so much that I studied every one of hi moves.I practiced and practiced ; fighting him was the biggest accomplishment in my life. BOB So why did you beat him. MORRIS I wanted to prove to myself that I could be as good as my hero. BOB What a waste. MORRIS To be honest with you, I only beat him because he underestimated me. BOB Now you are talking the truth, I mean , who would imagine that a looser like you could take down the champ. MORRIS Hey, father, watch it, any way; this looser saved his life. BOB You are back to talking trash again. MORRIS I swear on everything that is dear to me. BOB Go on, I want to hear this rubbish. MORRIS If Robert had won his fight against me, his next fight would have been against "Killer Mike" BOB You are right so far. MORRIS One of Robert's biggest weakness was that he wasn't protecting his left side well enough; actually during the fights, he had tendencies of lifting his left harm a little too high, as if he was ready to throw a left punch. BOB That, that is correct, how did you now about this? MORRIS I just told you, I watched this guy's every move; anyway, we have to study our adversary; and "Killer Mike" was very good at it. I found out years later running into Mike one day, that, with a combination of jabs and hooks, he was going to bring Robert down before finishing him. BOB That would have never happened; he is full of crap, just like you. ANGEL BARNABE (APPEARING) He is telling you the truth BOB What? No I can't believe it. MORRIS Robert was so confident that he thought he was invincible, he had lost focus, he wasn't paying attention to the little details like keeping his left arm down, Mike actually turned a couple of good fighters into vegetables for mistakes like that, and believe me they were nowhere as careless as Robert. BOB Oh my god! Suddenly, the earth starts spinning under Bob's feet. BOB (SCREAMING) (CONT'D) Oh my god; what is happening here? In a flash, Bob and Father Rufess are thrown back in their normal bodies. CUT TO CHANTAL (kneeling over father rufess) I've been giving him mouth to mouth for half an hour now, but it doesn't seem to be working. MORRIS Let me try. FATHER RUFESS (JUMPING UP) I am fine, just fine, thank you all very much. INTERIOR HOSPITAL-SAME NIGHT Solange is reading next to her father when she notices him opening his eyes. SOLANGE (SCREAMING WITH JOY) Oh my God daddy, you came back, he is back; oh my God. I have to call the doctor, and mammy...oh my God. BOB (SLOWLY) Call my son in law too? SOLANGE (SHOCKED) Son in law? You don't have a son in law. BOB (SMILING) You are right, Chad isn't quiet yet my son in law, but we will take care of this little detail right away. SOLANGE (STUNNED) Dad are you okay? Are you alright? BOB I love you my daughter, and I am very proud of you. SOLANGE (CALLING HER MOTHER) Dad's just woke up, but I think he went a little crazy, he wants to see Chad and he just told me that he loves me, hurry please. A doctor rushes in. DOCTOR You are back with us, mister Green. SOLANGE Yes , but I don't think that he is all right. DOCTOR That's okay, we are going to check on him right now. (to bob) Sir, is there anything you need right now. BOB A combo from KFC and a big screen TV so I can watch my fights. (to solange) And your mother to rub my back too. SOLANGE (CRYING) That's my dad, he is back . CUT TO EXTERIOR CHURCH -- DAY Two weeks later, a car stops in front of father Rufess's church. Bob and his family comes out. DARLENE Honey tell me again why you want Chad and Solange to get married here? BOB The priest is a very close friend of mine, beside isn't it a beautiful church? CHAD You have a priest as a friend, sir? BOB Yes, and I even learned to respect them, would you believe that? And stop calling me sir. SOLANGE But who is this other couple? You said we are all getting married the same day. BOB Oh, you will fall in love with them, actually, with the whole town, even the mayor. DARLENE How do you know all these people? when did you meet with them? BOB Maybe someday, I will try to explain Father RUFESS comes out, followed by Morris; Bob jumps on the priest and the two men hug each other for a very long time. OUTSIDE CHURCH-SAME DAY The two families are getting to know each other around a picnic table; the brides to be are discussing flowers and going over some catalogs while the grooms are talking sport. FATHER RUFESS You have a beautiful family Bob. BOB Thanks father, and thanks again for accepting to marry my daughter. FATHER RUFESS You are very welcome, it will be my pleasure. BOB How is the town? FATHER RUFESS Everybody is doing good, I was with the mayor last time, we went to visit Diane and Matthew. BOB Very good. FATHER RUFESS She has a boyfriend now. BOB Who? You? FATHER RUFESS (LAUGHING) You will never change Bob. BOB (SMILING) Why? Do you want me to change? FATHER RUFESS Only God can change you, Bob. BOB Talking about that, have you heard from him? FATHER RUFESS Who ? God? BOB No, angel Barnabe. FATHER RUFESS To be honest with you, at times I do feel a presence, but I don't think he is still around, after all, he is done with his job. BOB (smiling) That's true, and he did a good one. FATHER RUFESS Actually, at night I do hear this soft voice. BOB That's the wine. FATHER RUFESS I beg your pardon? BOB I am telling you the truth, that's the wine you are keeping in the cellar, I don't know what they put in it, but after a couple of glasses, you start hearing stuff. FATHER RUFESS (DYING LAUGHING) Only you Bob. IN THE SKY, ANGEL BARNABE SMILES AND IN AN INSTANT, VANISHES IN THE BEAUTIFUL BLUE SKY. THE END. FADE OUT