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SYNOPSIS:
COMPS: BRIDGET JONES meets BRIDESMAIDS in my answer to CRAZY RICH ASIANS.
ABOUT ME: Something that connects many children of immigrants is how our parents came here to make a better life, stressed the importance of education, and were REALLY CHEAP. Save to make a better tomorrow. I wanted to write a Chinese immigrant story that takes place in the USA, and something other children of immigrants and I relate to inspired by my family–they can never see this script, but they’ll get over it if it sells.
Semifinalist, Austin Film Festival 2022
Quarterfinalist, ScreenCraft Comedy Competition 2022Quarterfinalist, Los Angeles International Screenplay Awards Summer 2022
Dresden, Ohio—Present Day Suburban Middle America…
CAROL (31, Chinese; a Type A Bridget Jones) is an overachiever with a chip on her shoulder, thanks to her tiger parents who use guilt trips to make her work harder. Growing up, she learned everything was about saving money, like creating a Christmas tree on the wall out of green painter’s tape or having her presents regifted back to her (true stories—see why my family cannot see this script?). Still traumatized by hideous parent-inflicted fashion statements like coke bottle glasses and cheap braces that blinded her first date, Carol is neurotic around men.
Still, Carol cleaned up well and had a successful social media career in NYC before quitting to return home for a quiet life in Ohio. She meets and falls in love with schoolteacher DANNY (31, Italian; a boy next door and avoidant), who doesn’t tell her his fears of out-of-control wedding costs stemming from his previous engagement. Danny’s parents fear Carol is too controlling, but she wins them over by gifting them a vacation to Italy for their 30th anniversary.
Always on a budget, schoolteacher Danny loves that Carol is also cheap, hiding his insecurity about not being able to impress women financially. So he encourages Carol to start a blog espousing the virtue of living richly but frugally—“Cheap Ass Asian,” the moniker used as a childhood taunt by her former childhood bully but now best friend RACHEL (31, white; a competitive yet insecure local model). Carol wants to show the words didn’t hurt her. Ironic, eh?
Due to poor lifestyle choices, Rachel is inspired by Carol to turn her life around and confesses her bankruptcy to her fiancé EUGENE (31, white; a meathead jock addicted to protein shakes that give him bad stress farts). Rachel’s thrifty new ways turn Eugene on. Now that both Carol and Rachel are engaged, besties become frenemies when they see a poster for—
Wedding Magazine’s “Best Wedding on a Budget” Competition!
The winner is determined by social media votes on the contestants' videos on money-saving wedding planning ideas and will get a wedding planning cable show. Carol thinks she’s a shoo-in until Rachel joins the competition. Eugene feeds on Danny’s fear of out-of-control wedding costs, and they conspire to encourage a heated competition to get the cheapest wedding possible.
When Rachel unintentionally wins Carol’s dream wedding dress and attracts free PR and social media followers, she tramples on Carol’s source of pride. Why can’t Rachel let Carol have this?
Of course, Carol can’t see the line between tacky and frugal. She also has no concept of going too far. Carol hires an army of unpaid interns who take over the house, pushing Danny off to the side. Still hoping for a dirt-cheap wedding, Danny lets it slide and even feeds it further using tactics from Carol’s parents' guilt trips when Carol thinks of quitting.
Convinced Carol stole her idea for keepsake table centerpieces, Rachel recruits Eugene to prank call Carol, canceling her wedding venue because it was destroyed by a giant “flatu-tastrophe,” a prank by kids using fart spray—the best lie he could come up with on short notice.
Realizing the absurdity of the reason, Carol figures out Rachel was behind the cancellation and attempts to confront her at her home. But while waiting for her, one thing leads to another, and Carol accidentally fart-sprays Rachel’s wedding dress while trying to clean it! Carol runs away in embarrassment, planning to apologize later.
Carol gets an idea to gain PR with a puzzle piece wedding cake made from frozen pieces of leftover birthday cake (yes, my mom did this to me). Carol tells Danny she’ll gain followers—and her parents’ approval—oblivious that she’s dismissing the only thing Danny wanted for the wedding is for his baker parents to make the cake. Danny accuses Carol of being the worst bridezilla ever and storms out. Worse, the fart spray on Rachel’s wedding dress sends her to the hospital in allergic shock.
Thinking Danny has broken up with her, Carol visits Rachel to apologize. They argue about why the other wanted to be in the competition, each stating Eugene said the other wanted it—but, upon hearing Eugene’s stress fart, they realize he’s been manipulating them. When Rachel confronts Carol over her blog name being a dig at her, Carol realizes she’s still not over the past. Reminiscing about the good times when they first became friends, Carol and Rachel make up.
Rachel suggests Carol do something unexpected to make up with Danny.
Carol secretly invades Danny’s parents’ anniversary party and spends $100k to upgrade everything in an over-the-top fashion—twin dolphin ice sculptures, excessive gold lamé, and an organ monkey serving food. Danny thinks she has gone crazy. Carol reveals the truth: She isn’t broke; she sold her internet company for $15M back in New York. But Danny always made her feel good about her thrifty ways—the approval she craved from her parents.
Danny admits his insecurity over money and apologizes for his role in Eugene’s scheme. Then he tells Carol why he fell in love with her: She’s a generous, kind-hearted woman who thinks of others first. Carol and Danny make up. To top it off, Carol’s parents finally say how proud they are of her at the anniversary party in their speech to the guests.
Carol promises not to let competition, secrets, and her past get in the way again as she drops out of the wedding contest and focuses on what’s important—her relationships.
No longer letting her past rule her, Carol lets go of being the “Cheap Ass Asian.”
CHEAP ASS ASIAN is a feel-good story wrapped in an authentic Asian American immigrant story set in America that explores the themes of putting the past behind you, self-acceptance, and being honest with the people you love. Most importantly, money doesn’t bring happiness, whether you spend or save it—not even $15 million.
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