Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.


By Felix Agyeman Boahen

GENRE: Adventure

After Sparta has been captured and still living in captivity for twenty years, a young prince must fulfill an oracle by avenging and restoring peace, or leave the honor of Sparta in ruins.  


After LORD TELECLUS (king of Sparta) has secured his kingdom against his enemies and the throne against his long outcasted brothers who still desire to rule over Sparta, his people lived in peace. For over 10years, Lord Teleclus and his generals have chosen to put down their swords, to give peace to the dwellers of Greece, but this fails to please the kings in Greece, some still dream of taking Sparta.

PLUTAS, a matured warrior, under an unknown king's command, he leads his men into Sparta, with a plan to set open the gates for the unknown king and his army to raid. NESTOR, captain of the spartan guards, together with his men fought hard. They secured the gates and held them captives. When securing the city in the midnight, Nestor overheard PYTHIA (the oracle at Delphi) who has visited Sparta, begging the gods to take a woe from Sparta. He advises LYSANDER, general of the Spartan army and closest friend of Lord Teleclus, to build a defence.

Lord Teleclus sets free Plutas and his comrades (the intruders). General Lysander frowns on his king's decision and Lord Teleclus gives a reason behind his action, "not to stain their hands with filth for the sake of the upcoming festival".

A few months later, visitors from neighboring kingdoms and across Greece gather at Sparta to celebrate one of the great festivals dedicated to Apollo. One of Lord Teleclus' outcasted brothers visits Sparta as an emissary from the rest. With mockery words, he informs Lord Teleclus and his council that they can't join in the so-called festival of Sparta and teasingly laughs at Lord Teleclus' childlessness, which heightened the intensity of their pain. SOLON, an in-law to Lord Teleclus and the father of Queen Millicent. He is known for his insight, knowledge and experience which he has gained from the wanderings in foreign lands. He visits Sparta lately. General Lysander tells him everything, including the weird visions of the Oracle. Solon urges General Lysander to prepare for the worst and seek support from friendly kingdoms if possible.

In the festival which was thought to be enjoying and would come with good fortunes turns otherwise for Lord Teleclus; clear signs of bad omen and a loud requesting protest from the people ("we need a prince. Sparta needs a prince"). Lord Teleclus together with General Lysander, Nestor and Solon consult the oracle, concerning a sign of a bad omen. Pythia reveals her visions; "I only see ALKAMENES, the boy on whose shoulders the future of Sparta depends. His death shall kill Sparta, but his survival shall raise Sparta above all cities in Greece. He will be raised near Mountain Teygetus, in the west on the borders of Messenia. His days are blurred. He shall pass through storms. Even the day of his birth shall be the worst day in Spartan history, but who knows maybe in the end, he could be victorious". After the reveal, Pythia calls Solon privately, and takes him into much details concerning the upcoming woe on Sparta, and that not only the unborn Prince is needed, but the gods have some chosen people, each with a role to play to restore tye city after its fall which Solon is one.

After the consulting of the Oracle, Lord Teleclus rules with grief. Thinking that he has failed his fathers for the throne is about to be passed on to a new clan. The gods turn to Lord Teleclus' prayers and have Queen Millicent pregnant. Half of the king's tears dry up. Finally, he has got an heir. The people rejoice at the news when it reaches their ears.

Some long months later, a brave warlord, ARIS, attacks Sparta with an army lesser than the size of the Spartan army. The Spartans resist Aris' attack but with fewer impressions due to the fade in the strength of their generals by their age factor.

Pregnant Queen Millicent watches in grief as the invaders push their army back and almost breaking through their defense. Queen Millicent shouts all of a sudden and her maidens run to her. "THE CHILD IS COMING", said the Queen.

While Lord Teleclus is busy resisting his enemies, his wife, Queen Millicent is also busy bringing forth a hero. The Spartans break formation giving Ares opportunity to raid. MARY, a servant of Queen Millicent, sees Lord Teleclus exhausted and almost losing breath. Mary rushes down onto the battlefield and announces to Lord Teleclus, the birth of the prince. Lord Teleclus remembers the words of the oracle. He hands over the SWORD OF SPARTA to Mary and orders her to take the Queen and the Prince out of the City. Mary rushes to the palace and finds out that Queen Millicent has died. Mary takes the Prince and rushes out of the palace and out of the city with the help of Pythia when the invaders raise a victorious sound.

Twenty years have passed, and Ares still rules as king over Sparta. Ever since king Ares overthrew Lord Teleclus, the people have never seen peace. His son, ZENO (who watched his father taking Sparta as an infant) and his gang cause much trouble in the city and its villages, taking out anyone who resists.

Solon is the only Spartan royal still in the palace and within the council of King Ares. He has proven to be loyal, and King Ares has made him one of his trusted advisers which make the people so disappointed. Solon pays a secret visit to Pythia concerning Alkamenes, their hope and king. From Pythia, Solon learns that Mary has raised their prince and king to be her son. She has hidden his identity and has never shown any sign of telling him his true background and his destiny because she wants him as a true son.

While the people weep and pray to the gods for a hero, their hope, Alkamenes, lives in a village unconcern. Mary has named him XANDER. The villagers love him very well for his braveness that protects them from tyrants and his hunting skills that keep them surviving from the hunger caused by King Ares' cruelty, and fear him sometimes for his quick temper. There's one person he listens to when angry, JASON, his friend and whom he admires as a brother.

The gods show mercy to the people of Sparta, and for a moment, food is in abundance in the village of FARIS, located within Sparta. The people rush and purchase foodstuffs. King Ares hears of it and sends soldiers to close down the market and kill anyone who resists. King Ares' soldiers run into the rage of a goddess-like human, ARTEMIS, a very beautiful girl in her young age but brave as a goddess, with great skills in archery which give her the name of the goddess, Artemis(mistress of arrows). Artemis kills many of the soldiers.

The people enthusiastically spread the news and, it reaches King Ares. King Ares orders his soldiers to search everywhere for Artemis.

In that night, Alkamenes stays awake while his neighbors sleep. He hears a strange sound, as someone struggling as he loses his breath. He boldly walks out and sees a girl leaning against their wooden house, bloodied; it's Artemis. He takes the girl inside. Mary sees Artemis in the morning and furiously orders her out and tells Alkamenes that she is a wanted girl. Mary knows Artemis very well, as a messenger to retrieve Alkamenes whom she will hate to lose. Alkamenes tries to convince Artemis to stay, despite Mary's orders but Artemis leaves unnoticed.

Some days later, Mary walks in the village of Faris with Alkamenes and Jason searching for foodstuffs. They reach a butcher and Jason asks why the village look so quiet. "a deadly archer and some outlaws are about to be executed, so everyone is there to watch," said the butcher. Jason chases Alkamenes, as he heads for the main square.

Alkamenes and Jason reach the main square in time. Two outlaws are already dead, and Artemis is next. Alkamenes emerges from the crowd and decapitates the executioner with a single swing. He kills the soldiers around and frees Artemis. The soldiers chase them. Alkamenes and Jason find their way and escape with Artemis to their village. In furious, King Ares orders his whole army to search and bring him Artemis and his new threat, Alkamenes. He pledges a price to anyone who finds them. The people of Sparta rejected the offer in their minds except one, an old farmer from Alkamenes' village. He announces to King Ares, their hiding place. King Ares assembles his men to arrest them before dawn. Solon hears it and steals the thunder for a reason. He picks some men including LEANDER, commander in the army and attacks the village in the night as a signal to Artemis to flee with Alkamenes. They burn the village and kill Mary who is a blockage to their freedom. Artemis takes Alkamenes and Jason into the woods and leads them southwards, heading to the east.

King Ares' anger rises when he finds out that Artemis and Alkamenes have escaped his plan. Solon alerts Leander, and flee together with many Spartan soldiers, they cross the river Eurotas to the woods of Therapne in the east. Solon and Leander leave the army in the woods of Therapne and journey eastwards to see Pythia in Geronchrai where Artemis is leading Alkamenes. They catch up with Artemis, Alkamenes and Jason in the woods of a small village occupied by tyrants. Solon and Leander rescue them from some tyrants who have them almost killed. Alkamenes enrages at Solon and Leander. His anger extends to Artemis, who joyously gives Solon a warm welcome. He finds his way with Jason, feeling disappointed with Artemis.

Night falls, Alkamenes and Jason camp in the woods a little far away from Solon, Leander and Artemis. Jason uses his gift from the gods, his intelligence. He thinks deeply about the incident and realizes there is a hidden truth. He tells Alkamenes to give Solon and Artemis a chance to explain, but, Alkamenes hardens his heart to Jason's suggestion. He hates Solon and Leander very much and now trusting them is like a suicide to him. They wander the woods for some days, and Alkamenes makes his mind to return to his burnt village in Sparta when the struggle for food became tougher. Jason, keen to know what is hidden, urges Alkamenes to give in to Solon and Artemis to explain, but Alkamenes shows no sign of calming down.

 In the night they see torch flames moving around in the woods and later hear some sounds of a skirmish. And in the morning they find a little boy alone in the woods. The boy tells them three travelers are under the captivity of the tyrants from the village and by description, Alkamenes and Jason realize it is Solon, Leander and Artemis. Jason's heart moves for Artemis' sake. He orders the boy to show him where they are. Alkamenes follows for the sake of Jason's welfare. They wait for the night, and the boy leads them through a secret path into the prisons. Jason sees many prisoners in cells but frees his compatriots only (Artemis, Solon and Leander). The boy speaks words of affection to the heroes of Sparta for the sake of his prisoned-mother. It moves Alkamenes, and he fights the tyrants as they rush into the prisons. Solon, Leander and Artemis join the fight, saving Alkamenes' life at several times. They defeat the tyrants and set free all the prisoners.

Solon leads his compatriots (Leander, Artemis, Jason and Alkamenes) back into the woods. Alkamenes reluctantly follows while Jason pokes his nose into questions as they head on their journey. Finally, they reach Geronchrai and meet Pythia. Pythia hosts them for some days. She interprets oracles to them and encourages them on their quest that they are about to take. Artemis receives a high range bow from Pythia; her guardian and whom she admires as a mother. Pythia tells Alkamenes of his root and how he went into the care of Mary (his guardian) who proved to be a mother. Alkamenes realizes he is the last hope for Sparta and that Solon isn't an enemy but his true grandfather. Pythia reveals the SWORD OF SPARTA which she hid many years ago and hands it to its new bearer, Alkamenes. She blesses their path and assures them a victory.

The heroes of Sparta set forth, journeying to Sparta for the liberation of their people and their homeland. They head west for a shorter journey, but unfortunates change their planned route bringing them on the southwestern path which Solon never prefers to travel.

The western path which seems shorter lies a beast. For whose power has left the path abandoned. But despite the danger, Solon still chose to travel by this route to avoid getting delayed by enemies (the long outcasted Spartan royals) or some tyrants. On their journey through the west, the beast intercepts them as they expected, on the bank of the river that separates the territory of Sparta from the woods of Geronchrai. Together they fight and defeat this beast. The beast, at its last breath, it summons its strength and breaks a gigantic tree which falls, breaking a bridge which is the only passage to cross the river. Solon has no other route except the southwestern path. He leads the team southwards, aiming to travel through the territory of the outcasted royals of Sparta.

On their journey, they encounter DARIUS, who claims that his father, ARISTODEMAUS (King of Gytheio), was in alliance with Lord Teleclus and still loyal to Sparta. He assures Solon and the heroes that his father will help in the restoration of Sparta, for it has been his dream ever since Lord Teleclus' defeat. Solon never believed that until Darius rescues them from captivity in the territory of the outcasted Spartans. Darius takes the Heroes to his father in Gytheio. The heroes of Sparta accept the helping offer from Aristodemus.  Aristodemus assembles his entire army and starts a march to Sparta. Leander journeys alone to Therapne to organize the Spartan army.

Meanwhile, Ares has learned about Alkamenes, and senses revenge from Solon. He searches for soldiers from his allies to replenish his army. He seeks help from Athens, but the king of Athens denies him help.

The heroes of Sparta together with Aristodemus and his army reach Sparta. Artemis, Dennis (a skillful archer from Gytheio) and some detached soldiers sneak to the walls of Sparta and slay Ares' soldiers, giving their army an easy entrance into the city.  Aristodemus' army breaks the gates of Sparta and runs into the city, killing anyone who comes in their way. As Solon finds his way in the search for the royal scepter, Zeno attacks him but Alkamenes intercepts and kills Zeno in a single fight. Meanwhile, Aristodemus has defeat Ares and crowning himself king over Sparta before his army. He makes it clear to the heroes of Sparta that ruling over Sparta has been his life's dream and now that he is king of Sparta nothing can stop him.

Just in time, Leander arrives with the Spartan army and sees the treachery, but, he is not in a number to face Aristodemus' entire army which leaves them powerless. In no time Plutas appears from nowhere with an army to fight and fulfill his promise which he gave to Lord Teleclus. The outcasted royals, fed up with their taste for power, return with their army to fight for Sparta and to restore their honor. Together they crush Aristodemus and his army. Alkamenes takes the throne of Sparta. He welcomes the long outcasted royals into Sparta once again. The fled Spartans return home from their hiding places, and King Alkamenes assures them a never-again-woe on Sparta. The Spartans rejoice, and the glory of Sparta restores.

JC Campos

Rated this logline

Juno Dante Night

Rated this logline

Juno Dante Night

I think you have a solid story here. The world is incredibly fleshed out. Maybe try limiting down the redundancy in your logline (just mention Sparta once). Same goes for the synopsis; Sparta is mentioned many times in a few of the paragraphs. Also, save the bulk of your synopsis for the treatment; it really only needs to be about five paragraphs just to give us an idea of where it's going (and if possible, try to keep the tense consistent). Other than that, good luck on the project!

Juno Dante Night

"After Sparta has been captured and living in captivity for twenty years, a young prince has to fulfill an oracle by avenging and restoring peace, or leave the honor of his kingdom in ruins." This might sound better.

Felix Agyeman Boahen

Thanks very much for the feedbacks. I really appreciate your kind words, Juno.

Juno Dante Night

No problem, Felix. Best of luck!

Wilmer Villanueva

Rated this logline

Felix Agyeman Boahen

Thank you, Juno Dante Night.

Tracy Simpson

Rated this logline

Nathaniel Baker

Rated this logline

register for stage 32 Register / Log In