LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!

"TOSHA

The basket? What are you greedy? The basket is not for sale, the cookies are for sale. The basket is just to carry the cookies in. " This is hilarious!!

The lesson: If you want to please everyone, the opposite happens; you fuck yourself over.

Only a few easy fixes:

Don't end dialog with a parenthetical.

In this case:

PAUL

just like that huh?

Mary looks confused.

Also do not put 'action' into parentheticals.

Corrected:

MARY (CONT'D)

I don’t think I’ve been shopping this week. Water? (don't put "water' on the next line for emphases)

She opens the fridge and looks in.

In this story, only use "Mary looks confuced" once. The story is written well enough to know everybody is messing with her mind.

You ended with the best/most subtile 'remark'. Perfect!!

Than again, the ?rules? say you should have a 'real' active protagonist, someone who is not 'active' by only 'reacting', but really takes 'controle'. But the humor comes from having a semi-inactive protag. And the humor works.

Would be cool to have a twist at the very end. In this case would probably be the 'hook'.